r/OCPoetry Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

503 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Feedback Please a clock unwound

7 Upvotes

a clock unwound, undone, uncoiled
someday, somehow, I’ll hear it chime
vast dreams from yesterday, all foiled
somewhere it rings, that echoed rhyme
the yoke drags on through tracts of soil
you toll the knell, I scroll through time

your fears allayed, I had assumed
I’d prise and wrest a thieved reprieve
you stayed ensconced, entrapped, entombed
bisect and cede, to this I cleaved
a visage faded, yet exhumed
such dearth unearthed, you left deceived

a house now aged, bricks veiled by vine
the joy, the love, the strained belief
which dulls the glow of this lost shrine
where memories lie on every leaf
the streams won’t flow, the sun won’t shine
all swept away, the grief, the grief

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/4aulfZ5zUt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zG13ugZrRT


r/OCPoetry 59m ago

Feedback Please Beware of the Spectator.

Upvotes

Beware of the spectator.

That watches us all.

Underneath his solemn demeanor

lies a patient, waiting thrall

Just envision him there.

Sitting completely alone

watching you, silently.

not a sound, nor a moan

He doesn't shout or complain.

Doesn't cry when you're in pain.

Only watches day and night

Seeing all your joy, and all your fright

He scatters his little selves around.

Sowing seeds on your mind's ground.

Taking on all forms but his own.

To hide a 'glory' that remains unknown.

A blonde-haired priest, who knew no sin.

An orphaned boy, who had no kin.

A wealthy CEO—a girl at that.

Or a scared teen, in a world gone matte.

Beware of your spectator, their form anew.

He's my writer of none, and reader of few.

Beware your spectator. He does not tire.
Your becoming him is all he'll require.

...

What do you all think the spectator is?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/jqbva0/comment/oz7s51u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ibjhrn/comment/oz7tahe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please An August Baby, June's Purple Rain

Upvotes

Your vision peridot, finally reconciled
Contrast and contradiction above all that has beguiled

Mysterious soul, personality the labyrinth
Sisyphean task to interpret your zenith

Oh Proteus, oh man of the oceans
You put on no show, yet behind you are curtains

You have given in to this world and its motions
I feel you a purple tulip, enclosed in green cages

At an impasse with your opinions
For your heart never engages

Maybe in "la la land" you wouldn't be here and still apart
I'd figure out the brain beyond that stupid side-part

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3va8h/comment/oz7mozr/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3va8h/comment/oz7n0gf/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please In the real world, I’m nimble and quick

Upvotes

In the real world, I’m nimble and quick 
 
In my dreams, she, the girl she’d met long before she met me, and some cruel small man are making me run the lengths of the trails that ran behind our junior high school. 
 
Years ago, when we got far enough for the coach to not notice, we’d stop running, throw our shirts over the fence, and we’d walk in only bras, to make the heat slightly more bearable.  

I remember a few of the conversations we had; I remember her imagining how my life would play out. 
 
I remember one in particular, she told me how she imagined I’d lose my virginity, and it wasn’t perverse or sexual at all, because nothing was yet, being without shirts and speaking crudely meant nothing.

All of it felt so foreign, a year later, a girl in our grade had her first kiss, and we thought it was the strangest thing in the world.

When I had mine, a year after that, I didn’t like it very much, everything has always been dreamlike for me, like I’ve been floating all my life.

Kissing someone, feeling the firmness of their body against mine, was terrible.

I wished to go elsewhere agin, somewhere where everything is intangible and nothing is concrete.

I wished to go somewhere where those trails never ended, where sex doesn’t exist and girls never become women.

In my dream, I can’t run as fast as her and the other girl, which makes no sense at all, because in the real world, I’m nimble and quick. 
 
During cheer practice, I outpace the other girls easily, it’s the only thing I’m good at. 

I can’t dance or cheer well, I was given a critique once that my legs were too long and my arms too thin, I’m too willowy, too lanky. 
 

I imagine my long limbs slipping through the cracks in the gym floor.

Alice through the rabbit hole.
 
I imagine nobody notices when I fall, and maybe I’d end up wherever I end up would look an awful lot like those trails, winding, with the hum of the interstate overlapping with the sound of shrill prepubescent voices. 
 
Maybe I’d be back in my dream, still being outpaced by her, and the girl I never quite liked, and that small, mean little man.  

I can’t accept it, can’t accept that the loss of virginity is not some foreign unknowable concept, surrounded by hushed murmurs of blood and pain that lasts days, I can’t accept that I am never going to go back there.

I can’t accept that I am going to love her and miss her forever, but none of it matters, because at our age, we are supposed to have boyfriends that we love more than our best friends.

I can’t accept what I see in the mirror, though that critique was right, and I am all limbs and often bones, I still see a woman’s body, not a girls, with breasts and hips that go far past the indent of my waist.

I used to starve myself until it all went away.

I stopped bleeding too, my body was a girls again.

But then I got so sad, and I was so tired, and I didn’t laugh, only cried, and she didn’t want me anymore.

I never got her back.
 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/fPNjWymLBe

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xxjzI1B4M4


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please One year long lover.

Upvotes

I sit beneath the trees
That so graciously
Give me company

The moon shines bright on me
As I think of everything
From one day lovers
Who I haven’t thought
About for summers
Or a one year long lover
Whom now makes me somber

The things I would do
Just to be with you
To look into your eyes
One last time

But all this time You haven’t
paid me much mind
So I sit here beneath these leaves
I beg for lightning to strike me
Or a bear to maul me
Honestly anything beats
thinking about how you
No longer love me.

I long for my year long lover
Underneath this starry light
The stars speak to me
They whisper tonight’s the night
The tide will sweep me
And the moon will be beneath me
When I lay off the golden gate

-I’m just starting out making poetry and feedback Is appreciated.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JxJTIc7wdj

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/BU4cfRHD0m


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Just Sharing Just A Dress

7 Upvotes

A dress is a simple thing.
Yet it is not.

It is cloth,
yet so much more.
It represents.
It clothes.
It warms.
It protects—sometimes.

It shines.
It glitters.
Sometimes not.

It’s long.
It’s short.
Tight, or flowy, or flouncy.

Is it beautiful,
or is it a cage?
A representation of the past?

Can a dress be anything other than a dress?

Is a woman wearing a dress
a step forward
or a step back?

Is it feminine,
or is it bold?
Is it safe,
or taunting?

When a woman wears a dress,
does it mean she is going back to the home?
Or does it mean
she is simply wearing a dress—
a dress that is beautiful,
something she desires?

A dress is cloth,
fabric,
plastic—
and yet not.

For some,
the representation clouds
the mind.

Such a simple thing—
this dress.

Oh, why can’t it be
just a dress—
something beautiful to wear?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3od71/comment/oz5lnqg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3s2i6/comment/oz5ggtn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Feedback Please Grief poem - all comments welcome!

3 Upvotes

The sentence that

The sentence that hits a nerve.

The sentence that makes your heart drop.

The sentence that reminds you.

The sentence that makes your brain stop.

The sentence that feels purposeful.

The sentence that you know was an accident.

The sentence that you wonder whether they realised that hurt.

The sentence that still remains prominent.

The sentence that couldn't be helped.

The sentence that could have been avoided.

The sentence that takes you back to a past moment.

The sentence that makes you feel disappointed.

The sentence that makes you angry.

The sentence that makes you want to scream.

The sentence that makes you want to cry.

The sentence that makes you wish this was all a dream.

The sentence that makes you wonder if this will ever hurt less?

The sentence that confirms you are powerless.

-------

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/F6o0dkqEHm

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/bWtlwLoJ74


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please The Stars that I see

2 Upvotes

Stars in the night sky,
running from their own orbit,
dazzling stars, scourging my eyes,
jealous stars, judging each other,
radiant stars who shine out of guilt,
roaring stars, shrieking to be extinguished,
irritating stars
who disrupt my dark

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/MowVTA3Gob

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/VkBm4pAwHm


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Feedback Please Self-Harm

5 Upvotes

Love is self-harm.

You cut yourself.
You torment yourself.
You agonise yourself.
You cut people.
You cut your desires.
You keep on cutting.

Until one day,
there is nothing left to cut.

Then you realise
you cut your friends,
their plans,
your own self,
your own interests.

For whom?

Did I ever tell you…

Love is self-harm.

Not because it asks you to bleed,
but because it convinces you
that bleeding is another way of loving.

You don’t notice the wounds
until everyone else has left
and you’re the only one
still holding the knife.

Love is self-harm.

By the time you put the knife down,
there is nothing left
that remembers
who you were
before you started cutting.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QolYiuTqOJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/93ui9c6E2m


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing light it

Upvotes

I don't think

I did this life right.

Can we try again?

Because, I think

I'm ready for this

one to end.

--------------------------

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3w2ev/comment/oz7pj0d/; https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3pqcj/comment/oz7qe0e/


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing the wanted woman

Upvotes

Three shots to the head, the PI said
‘Bout nothing left from the neck up
The megaphones fizzled all around
What kind of man, asked the town
Could ever commit such an evil act?

Well, a man could never, she thinks
Stabbing a needle into patchwork
Three bullets? It had felt like twenty
But things, of course, feel strange
When there’s a body upon yours
That isn’t supposed to be there

Sheds slam open, pitchforks drawn
There’s a cold-blooded killer loose
One who killed a good, honest man
There’s a woman, ramming a bat
Against her pelvis, hoping, hoping

Two months later, she buys pants
Understanding that an honest man
Rots beneath the ground, and rots
In the depths of her swollen body

When she is found by her mother
Three weeks later, she can’t speak
With the pain, wrench in her hand
Rug soaked red with desperation
But she breathes now, greedily

Her mother is numb with shock
And, shakily, moves her limbs to
The phone booth across the road
While her daughter pleads for a
Washcloth, a minute of her time

Shackled, she sits, body aching
The young sheriff quietly stutters
Under state law, she has taken a life
No pitchforks - only drawn curtains
And whispers behind cupped hands

-

1 2


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Feedback Please The Fifth

5 Upvotes

An unseen dimension beyond
space and time.
every possible version of
reality
at once
it all exists

always all ways

not a direction
you move through
a field of possibility

All outcomes.
All moments.
All selves.
coexisting 
simultaneously

never directly perceive
A place we can only describe
never directly perceive

simultaneously 
coexisting 
All selves. 
All moments. 
All outcomes.

a field of possibility 
you move through 
not a direction

always all ways

it all exists
at once
reality
every possible version of
space and time.
An unseen dimension beyond 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3pqcj/comment/oz4wmh8/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3olkj/comment/oz504ce/


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please Out of my control

3 Upvotes

I miss the time when your actions didn't feel as unpredictable

as the wind on a stormy day.

I miss when your presence made me feel safe,

and not like I was standing in a thunderstorm,

never knowing when the lightning would strike.

I miss when your calls had meaning,

like the trees give life through the air they create.

But just like nature, you're out of my control.

So I sit inside, like on a snowy day,

overflowing with nostalgia

for the sun that once shone.

__________________________________________________

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gbwiLSJKsh

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jI8EyFxWW8


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Feedback Please Red leg

1 Upvotes

The first time I bled I saw what my insides truly were

I thought I was blue like the veins coiling my arm

But my nectar was red released to severe alarm

See when I first bled it wasn't dramatic,

a scrape of my knee

As my dad would say caused by being a spastic

But there on the concrete part of me remained

Just a gentle reminder of the cause of pain

Because he held me that day, or atleast I think he did

His presence was comfort as tears washed me thin

But now he's gone I know apart of me remains

On the blood dripped concrete where my innocence was claimed

Because that day I hadn't felt anything like it

A presence of my own body without it's skin

The loss of him so young I wonder what his insides were

was he red as well, were we so alike

I know he knew how to fix me when I felt that pain

But he wasn't there to help me and he won't be again

1 )https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/m7UTdeemiH

2)https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/bt2jHSOgwl


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Just Sharing Live life

1 Upvotes

Deep thoughts, deep sighs
A view of grey ceiling in my eyes
Its like a staring contest, and then I realized
It is everyones first time to live life

What is a mistake? What is fate?
Was it a mistake or just fate?
Is free will real or fake?
Many questions and answers I couldnt take

Dont do this, you do that
You do this, dont do that
So I do this, and then what?
My mind just couldnt do the math

Fast moving thoughts but steady sight
Well, Maybe fate is what we make
Now decide and make it happen
Because, well, you know what?

Its everyones first time, so, live life

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3va8h/a_clock_unwound/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3t6d8/just_a_dress/


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please Learn to Know

1 Upvotes

As the sun begins to set, I recognize the air has grown heavier,

like a deep exhale into the screened silence.

‘Try turning it off and back on again,’

I yell to you, from far away on another continent.

Deep beneath our feet the wires run,

crossing the ocean floor,

making connections while simultaneously confusing the order.

Is it pasta then boiling water?

Run then walk?

Lover then friend?

 

I hear my own shadow nervously follow behind me.

I’d rather not try to turn around and look.

I’d rather just chew my chewing gum.

I’d rather search for bird nests in the treetops.

I’d rather learn to know when the moon will crest,

and cast its bright shadow on my quiet windowsill.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3tkcr/comment/oz74bro/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3unnz/comment/oz73w54/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please My Lady

2 Upvotes

Around my lady’s throat,
there lies a silver chain,
on which there hangs a crimson stone,
from which I must refrain,

from leaning over gently,
to take it on my tongue,
wet lips wrapped tight round crystal glass,
Her head is backwards flung.

A soft, delicious suckling,
my servile eyes on Her,
shaking hands caress Her waist,
my eyes, devoted, blur.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8X6HoCPGPA

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9uqN2pBBVA


r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Feedback Please Inner child shine

3 Upvotes

She awakens to the silence she is allowed to exist

The world is boisterous, clumsy and incomplete

A laughing mountain, her voice like a song 

humming the melodies, words of creation

She opens herself from the chest first

Like a present to the world

Unguarded and vulnerable, heart exposed

Feeling the absolute temperatures of emotion

Shunned by that radiant hope

That turned the inner child sour

Now it seeks the sun

To see to sweeten and shine

Slow healing of the child within

Blessings of light surround it

Still sour but bright like a kumquat

Dip them in manuka honey

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3mbik/comment/oz4keo6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3le9w/comment/oz4lxz1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Feedback Please A sleepless dream

4 Upvotes

I still sleep with my feet angled
To the middle of the bed
In hopes to feel yours

And when I’m half asleep
Half living
Half hearted beating
I swear I felt them!

But with every sunlight comes
A Dark reminder-
It’s just a dream
A sleepless dream
Forever desired
Internally incomplete

A real, damm dream
The kind you can never forget
A story to tell your kids.
Please, tell your kids
Of a dream that now, will forever
Be
Just a dream

Held captive in a mind’s deepest corner
Prying to get out
Forced to stay within
Waiting to be again
Like a ghost fighting to breathe
Without the lungs he was given

Until that day comes
I sit here

And just keep

———————————

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/3pCKt5DHgo

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WQOdYoxr99


r/OCPoetry 5h ago

Just Sharing Tuesday Morning

1 Upvotes

Confidence.
  ..and self-doubt..

People picked up
on your shallowness far
quicker than you imagined.

  Confidence.
...but there was always
the worry of, "Will I ever
  be good enough?"

    Confidence?
They say just be your
    self and you'll do fine.

..but what If you know yourself?
Your skiddish mannerisms, your persistant
hesitation, your constant uncertainty...

Like the pins of a Voodoo doll.
  was confusion and immediate
disinterest, all I had to offer?!

!?What was it?!
    Where was it??

ǝɔuǝpᴉɟuoƆ
You Never Loved a women for herself,
only for her gifts and what she
has to offer...

Confidence... It hurts,
doesn't it? Knowing you've adopted the
mindset of a Cold-hearted machine,
never to feel worth
or the warmth of true compassion
because your too preoccupied Performing,
not looking Bad, Giving people something to
judge...

confidence.
You worry too much. Your insecurities are
deafening! It never helped making others
understand.

Confidence!!!!
within the span of twenty-three minutes, you
could flush it all away–
her wanting to know you! flirt with you! be
with you!..

Negligence.
O' how I rejected the sorrow,
but I've grown too comfortable here
and now
I call this place home

 


comment 1
comment 2


r/OCPoetry 11h ago

Feedback Please shapeshifter

3 Upvotes

i’m no stranger to the engine roar

that scores my bolting thoughts.

my hands wringing in my lap,

too damp to grip my seat,

i can only stare ahead.

the scenery, distant and blear

it pulls me into a trance

and when it floods my peripheral,

i’ve crossed the line of no return.

i befriend the flora and fauna

the solar might, the crops’ order

how people eat and work and play

i project my life into theirs,

a shapeshifter stumbling upon kin

i am one with this territory

i am a citizen of this town

the steering wheel jolts away

forsaking my precious town!

the scenery morphs into another

my vision blurs, my sight shifting

into another distant and blear view

i find myself alien again

the whirling engine deafening my thoughts,

i can only stare ahead.

-

this is my first poem in 4 years, so i'm aware it's not that great. that being said, don't hesitate to give me some feedback, it'd really help me out :D

-

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r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Poetry Contest Burried Alive

2 Upvotes

One of the hardest funerals a person will ever attend is the burial of someone who is still alive.

We bury them deep within our hearts not the person as they truly are, but the image of them that once existed in our minds, an image slain by the harsh realities of human nature. We imagined someone full of innocence, only for that innocence to be wounded by the faults committed by their own hands.

God sends us lessons through our trials with others. And as much as I would love to preserve the image of that innocent person within my heart, perhaps it is better to set it free like a dove disappearing into a cloudy skyand never look back.

Perhaps, in Heaven, I will meet the person I once believed I knew: not the worldly version shaped and scarred by this life, but the person who lived within my mind and accompanied me for a time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Hq9OnCpepD

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/nj5ugqwG9c


r/OCPoetry 11h ago

Feedback Please " "

2 Upvotes

She sits there staring

I watch her

SILENCE

I wish I could speak

Her wrinkled hands

Her sunken eyes

Her placid tongue

They speak when she doesn’t

“You’re late”, they hiss

“What’s the use”, they stab

Her blood, my root

Her heart throb, my history

I wish I could speak

SILENCE

I watch her son

The man who gave it all up

For us. For me

They sit in silence

His hands more veiny than ever

Hands I imagined the world in

They look tired

They’ve carried for years

The weight sapping the life from them

And yet he laughs.

And yet they rest, tranquil.

SILENCE

I wish I could speak

I love them

I love her

My words disappear

She will forget me

Would I be the first family she forgets?

No words

Too late, useless

So I watch her

Silence consuming us

 

*long time reader, first time poet. lemme know your thoughts!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v31fw3/comment/oz4f8th/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v2xzjz/comment/oz4e3sc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 16h ago

Feedback Please Beauty

4 Upvotes

The fragrant flowers push through the sidewalk

Sun reflecting on still water of a lake

The rainbow shimmer of oil mixed with water

A single glistening tear, on a lonely cheek

.

The purr of a kitten lying in your lap

Trees blowing in the cool breeze

The cool spray of the ocean on your face

The deep copper red of dried blood

.

A master tinkling on the piano

The smell of bread baked with love

The dry taste of your favorite wine

Remembering a life of beauty.

.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QqT6uyI5RA

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/763GDARDlF