I always knew my drug of choice was love.

My brother would be out
on the front lawn
selling ecstasy to the freshman
while I was out back
stealing kisses from the boy
across the fence.
It was enough for me.

The moment our lips would touch,
I was whisked away.
High on Serotonin and secrecy,
it didn’t matter if I was kissing
a prince or a toad
as long as the hit was hard
and the pull was long.

The others spent their time escaping.
Same void, different sutures.
Every slide of a nervous hand
down my jeans
was evidence that
I wasn’t as worthless
as they said.

Or that I hadn’t bled out
Yet

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/wUe1ar2iwb

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/NuPn1iZxha

A clock unwound, undone, uncoiled
someday, sometime, I’ll hear it chime
vast dreams from yesterday, all foiled
somewhere there rings an echoed rhyme
a yoke dragged on through tracts of soil
who tolled the knell, was there more time?

to prise and wrest, to sit bereaved
a dam deluged by lies assumed
bisect and cede, to this I cleaved
enmeshed, ensconced, entrapped, entombed
wrought by such dearth unearthed, deceived
a visage faded, yet exhumed

a house now aged, bricks under vine
the joy, the love, the strained belief
which dulls the glow of this lost shrine
where memories lie on every leaf
the streams won’t flow, the sun won’t shine
all swept away, the grief, the grief

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/4aulfZ5zUt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zG13ugZrRT

A dress is a simple thing.
Yet it is not.

It is cloth,
yet so much more.
It represents.
It clothes.
It warms.
It protects—sometimes.

It shines.
It glitters.
Sometimes not.

It’s long.
It’s short.
Tight, or flowy, or flouncy.

Is it beautiful,
or is it a cage?
A representation of the past?

Can a dress be anything other than a dress?

Is a woman wearing a dress
a step forward
or a step back?

Is it feminine,
or is it bold?
Is it safe,
or taunting?

When a woman wears a dress,
does it mean she is going back to the home?
Or does it mean
she is simply wearing a dress—
a dress that is beautiful,
something she desires?

A dress is cloth,
fabric,
plastic—
and yet not.

For some,
the representation clouds
the mind.

Such a simple thing—
this dress.

Oh, why can’t it be
just a dress—
something beautiful to wear?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3od71/comment/oz5lnqg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3s2i6/comment/oz5ggtn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

Sometimes I sit in the corners of my mind,
It’s not really a choice…
But neither am I looking to be found.

For the dust has settled,
And the light is low,
This peace that follows,
Is all I want to know.

A wallless room,
No noise, no time,
A place that doesn’t exist,
A place that’s all mine.

It almost feels safe…
Comforting and real,
But this world has no patience,
For things that aren’t fuelled.

So I wiggle my toes,
And name the things I can see,
I return to reality,
And I hope the stillness waits for me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1um5rtw/an_old_man_pleasures_himself/ 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v31jli/my_mother_is_an_oak_tree/

The fragrant flowers push through the sidewalk

Sun reflecting on still water of a lake

The rainbow shimmer of oil mixed with water

A single glistening tear, on a lonely cheek

.

The purr of a kitten lying in your lap

Trees blowing in the cool breeze

The cool spray of the ocean on your face

The deep copper red of dried blood

.

A master tinkling on the piano

The smell of bread baked with love

The dry taste of your favorite wine

Remembering a life of beauty.

.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QqT6uyI5RA

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/763GDARDlF

People don't understand
What it is to be trans

I was not "okay"
With being a man
Being a woman
Does not make me feel
Happy
Being a woman
Makes me feel

My euphoria
is not
Pleasure
It is simply
Me
Forgetting
My sorrow

There are those
Who wish
To take
My speck
Of joy

But I will hold fast
I will fight for me
And I will fight
For others
Like me
With all I have

I would die for my cause
And I would die happy

If I knew
My grave
Would hold
A woman's name

And in decades
Or centuries
Somebody
Would take a stroll
Through a
Countryside cemetery

Where they would see
My name
On a crumbling stone
And think to themself
"What was her story?"

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/pMxOWO4TrX

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/p3BI8uzQz3

“Hi!”

“Hi.”

“I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too.”

“How have you been?”

“Oh nothing much, He proposed to me!!!”

Proposed?

Proposed as in being in love?

Proposed as in being in love and getting married?

Proposed as in being in love, getting married, having kids, building a house, living a life varied and married…

in love?

“What about you?”

“Well… I’ve got a new job!”

A job?

A job as in 9-5?

A job as in 9-5 and a daily drive?

A job as in 9-5, a daily drive, paying rent, chasing paychecks, living a life structured and buried…

alone?

“Wow, I’m happy for you.”

FEEDBACK 1

FEEDBACK 2

An unseen dimension beyond
space and time.
every possible version of
reality
at once
it all exists

always all ways

not a direction
you move through
a field of possibility

All outcomes.
All moments.
All selves.
coexisting 
simultaneously

never directly perceive
A place we can only describe
never directly perceive

simultaneously 
coexisting 
All selves. 
All moments. 
All outcomes.

a field of possibility 
you move through 
not a direction

always all ways

it all exists
at once
reality
every possible version of
space and time.
An unseen dimension beyond 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3pqcj/comment/oz4wmh8/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3olkj/comment/oz504ce/

Love is self-harm.

You cut yourself.
You torment yourself.
You agonise yourself.
You cut people.
You cut your desires.
You keep on cutting.

Until one day,
there is nothing left to cut.

Then you realise
you cut your friends,
their plans,
your own self,
your own interests.

For whom?

Did I ever tell you…

Love is self-harm.

Not because it asks you to bleed,
but because it convinces you
that bleeding is another way of loving.

You don’t notice the wounds
until everyone else has left
and you’re the only one
still holding the knife.

Love is self-harm.

By the time you put the knife down,
there is nothing left
that remembers
who you were
before you started cutting.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QolYiuTqOJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/93ui9c6E2m

I still sleep with my feet angled
To the middle of the bed
In hopes to feel yours

And when I’m half asleep
Half living
Half hearted beating
I swear I felt them!

But with every sunlight comes
A Dark reminder-
It’s just a dream
A sleepless dream
Forever desired
Internally incomplete

A real, damm dream
The kind you can never forget
A story to tell your kids.
Please, tell your kids
Of a dream that now, will forever
Be
Just a dream

Held captive in a mind’s deepest corner
Prying to get out
Forced to stay within
Waiting to be again
Like a ghost fighting to breathe
Without the lungs he was given

Until that day comes
I sit here

And just keep

———————————

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/3pCKt5DHgo

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WQOdYoxr99

To be like you.
To look like you.
To be amongst you
To have that freedom
To have that love that can only be seen from afar
To be so white that my feelings are visible
To become your shade, if only for a moment.
To hold the sun away from you.
To give you one quiet moment beneath me.
To always have to wonder, where did we go?
Perhaps we are somewhere amongst those clouds.
So high up we could’ve never made it
at least not together.
when it rains our worlds unite
I always hated the rain
But the rain is the only way my soul can reach you.
And that’s why I always hated it.
But perhaps we are somewhere
Amongst those clouds.

feedback
Feedback

Keep calm, they say.

Justice will smite us soon.

The wall you've waited so long to crumble will be asphalt for the one that covers the moon.

Feedbacks:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/HsBdBqaXUv

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oZYafRsg6f

my rain catcher gathered him,
then he poured through a sieve

my fogged breath slowly drips
onto the lips of his farewell letter

we were timeless, yet ticking;
our hour's seep glided off my cheek

for longing requires ready hands
steadily cupped together to collect it

so my dreams become a creek,
where yearning laps along its bank

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WhZ4eblDKN

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xpyhaMm6Lo

the shadow
the future 
the wrinkles 
came a lot faster
wasted 
down
screaming memories
dandelions 
chlorine 
take me back to a place 
when i cared
where i loved you 
until i was numb
stumbling  
the times quicker 
the world is shining 
my heart got stuck in a vase, 
incubated, 
then carried its belongings
across the USA 
just to find my eyes kept shrinking
the presence of the woman i look up too
lost 
performing eternally
blind 
angry 
jealous
the bike flying  
these thoughts 
are an ugly orchestra
stuck from a time before i could speak
but tried desperately to for five years
i should have stayed

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/3KQLj5qQ6f

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Yy6oE3uZyQ

I miss the time when your actions didn't feel as unpredictable

as the wind on a stormy day.

I miss when your presence made me feel safe,

and not like I was standing in a thunderstorm,

never knowing when the lightning would strike.

I miss when your calls had meaning,

like the trees give life through the air they create.

But just like nature, you're out of my control.

So I sit inside, like on a snowy day,

overflowing with nostalgia

for the sun that once shone.

__________________________________________________

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gbwiLSJKsh

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jI8EyFxWW8

She awakens to the silence she is allowed to exist

The world is boisterous, clumsy and incomplete

A laughing mountain, her voice like a song 

humming the melodies, words of creation

She opens herself from the chest first

Like a present to the world

Unguarded and vulnerable, heart exposed

Feeling the absolute temperatures of emotion

Shunned by that radiant hope

That turned the inner child sour

Now it seeks the sun

To see to sweeten and shine

Slow healing of the child within

Blessings of light surround it

Still sour but bright like a kumquat

Dip them in manuka honey

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3mbik/comment/oz4keo6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3le9w/comment/oz4lxz1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

i’m no stranger to the engine roar

that scores my bolting thoughts.

my hands wringing in my lap,

too damp to grip my seat,

i can only stare ahead.

the scenery, distant and blear

it pulls me into a trance

and when it floods my peripheral,

i’ve crossed the line of no return.

i befriend the flora and fauna

the solar might, the crops’ order

how people eat and work and play

i project my life into theirs,

a shapeshifter stumbling upon kin

i am one with this territory

i am a citizen of this town

the steering wheel jolts away

forsaking my precious town!

the scenery morphs into another

my vision blurs, my sight shifting

into another distant and blear view

i find myself alien again

the whirling engine deafening my thoughts,

i can only stare ahead.

-

this is my first poem in 4 years, so i'm aware it's not that great. that being said, don't hesitate to give me some feedback, it'd really help me out :D

-

1 / 2

Your insides are so red

Your dangling form so blue

I'll keep your heart so close

It'll be just me and you

I've heard it tastes metallic

But i find you so sweet

How will He have your heart?

Now that i stole your beat

You make my mouth so salty

Can I sip you to cleanse

My heart jumps as it coats my tongue

Weaving strings, cold and dense

My first ever poem so i know i would've managed to fuck up in a plethora of ways 💔💔🥀, any feedback and reviews will be duely appreciated

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/NquN8M1gGc

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9CZ200Rumz

I know nothing of flowers,
but to me,
you are the most beautiful rose.

I know nothing of prose,
but when it comes to you,
I could write for rows and rows.

You devour my works.
My thoughts devote hours to you.

I could try to let us go,
but I want to postpone
my heart being alone.

I know nothing of real sorrows,
I only know thorns that keep me away.
They poke at my heart
that you borrowed
but won't return to me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ia0hY6YZoI

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9HRZs29pAz

Stars in the night sky,
running from their own orbit,
dazzling stars, scourging my eyes,
jealous stars, judging each other,
radiant stars who shine out of guilt,
roaring stars, shrieking to be extinguished,
irritating stars
who disrupt my dark

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/MowVTA3Gob

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/VkBm4pAwHm

Confidence.
  ..and self-doubt..

People picked up
on your shallowness far
quicker than you imagined.

  Confidence.
...but there was always
the worry of, "Will I ever
  be good enough?"

    Confidence?
They say just be your
    self and you'll do fine.

..but what If you know yourself?
Your skiddish mannerisms, your persistant
hesitation, your constant uncertainty...

Like the pins of a Voodoo doll.
  was confusion and immediate
disinterest, all I had to offer?!

!?What was it?!
    Where was it??

ǝɔuǝpᴉɟuoƆ
You Never Loved a women for herself,
only for her gifts and what she
has to offer...

Confidence... It hurts,
doesn't it? Knowing you've adopted the
mindset of a Cold-hearted machine,
never to feel worth
or the warmth of true compassion
because your too preoccupied Performing,
not looking Bad, Giving people something to
judge...

confidence.
You worry too much. Your insecurities are
deafening! It never helped making others
understand.

Confidence!!!!
within the span of twenty-three minutes, you
could flush it all away–
her wanting to know you! flirt with you! be
with you!..

Negligence.
O' how I rejected the sorrow,
but I've grown too comfortable here
and now
I call this place home

comment 1
comment 2

The sentence that

The sentence that hits a nerve.

The sentence that makes your heart drop.

The sentence that reminds you.

The sentence that makes your brain stop.

The sentence that feels purposeful.

The sentence that you know was an accident.

The sentence that you wonder whether they realised that hurt.

The sentence that still remains prominent.

The sentence that couldn't be helped.

The sentence that could have been avoided.

The sentence that takes you back to a past moment.

The sentence that makes you feel disappointed.

The sentence that makes you angry.

The sentence that makes you want to scream.

The sentence that makes you want to cry.

The sentence that makes you wish this was all a dream.

The sentence that makes you wonder if this will ever hurt less?

The sentence that confirms you are powerless.

-------

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/F6o0dkqEHm

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/bWtlwLoJ74

Around my lady’s throat,
there lies a silver chain,
on which there hangs a crimson stone,
from which I must refrain,

from leaning over gently,
to take it on my tongue,
wet lips wrapped tight round crystal glass,
Her head is backwards flung.

A soft, delicious suckling,
my servile eyes on Her,
shaking hands caress Her waist,
my eyes, devoted, blur.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8X6HoCPGPA

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/9uqN2pBBVA

I want to make you belly laugh
but my Punchline flew away
That damn bird stole my riddle
now he headlines on Broadway

He flies across the stage spinning emotion
Casting it out in a wide net
Capturing the dumbfounded
making us belly laugh

His one bird act just doubled
Pulled himself out of a hat
Now there's two birds chirping
Witty, jesting com-pun-ions

It flipped and flopped skipping to the top
brimming with the springtime
Birding into mammal
Horsing clippity clop

One final act for the night
Unstable steeds merge back together
What do you call a slipper that has
two eyes, eight legs, one tail
and can outrun your very thought?

Written in collaboration with my good friend the duke.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3f5mx/comment/oz4uq07/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3hu9x/comment/oz4oefr/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

One of the hardest funerals a person will ever attend is the burial of someone who is still alive.

We bury them deep within our hearts not the person as they truly are, but the image of them that once existed in our minds, an image slain by the harsh realities of human nature. We imagined someone full of innocence, only for that innocence to be wounded by the faults committed by their own hands.

God sends us lessons through our trials with others. And as much as I would love to preserve the image of that innocent person within my heart, perhaps it is better to set it free like a dove disappearing into a cloudy skyand never look back.

Perhaps, in Heaven, I will meet the person I once believed I knew: not the worldly version shaped and scarred by this life, but the person who lived within my mind and accompanied me for a time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Hq9OnCpepD

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/nj5ugqwG9c