What's going on with this subreddit? It just seems like there's a lot more teenagers in this subreddit than there was before. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that but it just seems like they miss more of the community that they had in high school than the actual joys and desperate wants of staying a kid/middle/teen forever. Maybe I'm just reaching, I don't know. What do y'all think?

Edit: Not trying to be rude or anything. It's just something I wanted to talk about

This is a genuine question, btw. I need different perspectives on this because my perspective is very negative.

I'm 19 and even though numerically I'm still a teenager your teen years practically end at 18 from a systemic/social standpoint, like I hate being a young adult this shit is ass, when you're a teenager (13-17) you have a strong support system as well as mentors and role models that you can go to whenever you need, you also have community and sense of belonging (schools, summer camps, youth clubs etc) making friends as a teen is easy and natural because you have a lot of social outlets, but there's no equivalent communal structures for young adults except maybe university but the problem with that is it's behind a big stupid ass paywall which prevents alot from being able to go, and if you're not privileged enough to go to uni then you're pretty much gonna be lonely and have a very difficult time making friends and finding a sense of community. your only option is really your coworkers at your job and most of the time they don't want to be your friend or get to know you they're just there to get their check and leave. It's just like once you turn 18 all of the things that made you feel human just immediately disappear. no safety nets, no community, nothing it's just you and only you. I'll do anything to go back to life before 18 because this ain't it.

That Taylor swift book at DT shocked me! It's $20 🇨🇦, they had it for 1.75!! I'm sooo happy with all my pretty books!

I am new in this community, so i wanted to get my thoughts out

The thing is, i want to be seen as younger… this is mostly a comfort thing, because i rely on others' help & adoration to keep me going. I feel younger irl, as if i am aging at a snail's pace. I act younger, too. Everyone around me agrees that i subconsciously act younger. I get extremely sad when someone perceives me as an adult. I already look young irl, but my looks are finally starting to catch up (i am 19).

I never lie about my age, but i don’t wanna have to tell it in the first place. Since childhood, i have always been the odd one out: Younger stature, younger features, younger personality, younger mindspace, younger whatnot. And now, these days, it feels extremely essential for me to be seen in that way. Like, i genuinely cannot stand being seen as 19, because it doesn’t make sense, plus i cannot relate to my peers or anyone even 4 years younger than me (i cannot get along with the concept of maturity, at all, because my internal clock is just so wrong). I do not know if this is “just” an agere thing, but i doubt that. Because i do not just regress. I always feel younger than i am, and my mind doesn’t try to salvage it via regression.(Did i word this correctly?)

Apologies for the intrusion, and thank you for your attention.

i have always been afraid of growing up, i would obsess over it since i was like 5. idk why. every birthday made me realize that ill never live that year again. im extremely sentimental and everything is painfully nostalgic, and idk why. i feel like i can't move on, but from what?? i'm super confused but i know it keeps me from moving forward with my life

I’ve been trying to organize my complicated thoughts concerning youth for a while now, and I think so much of the confusion I’ve felt is because of society’s obsession with binaries and contradictory ideas.

For instance, there are ideas that wisdom comes with age but also ideas that many children are “wise beyond their years”, especially in spiritual circles that believe in receiving the most essential truths “out of the mouth of babes”, despite their assignment of wisdom to others seeming mostly conditional on their own agreement with the assertions made. Even in societies which appear to value seniors over children, there is a certain fixation on gifted children who can outperform chrono-adults in specialized fields. The everyday lives of chrono-children also tend to be dedicated to learning, which increases their knowledge by definition and associates childhood with having an active and developing mind, while people continue to try and isolate a chronological age in adulthood at which the brain “stops developing”.

In literature targeted toward children or nostalgic adults, characters who think outside the box with their youth-given childlike wonder are often uplifted as superior to the stereotyped adults who focus on numbers and spreadsheets. While these adults are framed as individuals who lose the ability to think or be happy in the pursuit of survival thrust upon them with age, blamed for external factors that would make nearly anyone rush to Neverland if they had only known, child prodigies are established as having unrealistic sway over the unyielding conditions of the world that crushed maturing spirits. Even the children who do focus more on numbers and spreadsheets are portrayed as either more skilled than the adults with similar foci or at least redeemable for the youth their physical age guarantees them. Beyond that, these stories often fail to address the fact that nothing has truly changed about the world these children may grow up in, eventually dooming them to a loss of this wonder as well, which makes it even more difficult to ascertain whether adult audiences are wiping away tears of nostalgia or tears of grief.

Ideas that set youth on a pedestal include those of childhood purity. For many, the division between childhood and adulthood seems to be one of change and trauma. Positive depictions of children show smiling mouths and big eyes bright with wonder, open to new experiences rather than weighed down by insecurities. The self-doubt and fear that come from unintentional and uncontrolled change to oneself or one’s environment are framed as altering the free spirit associated with childhood into the receiver of conditions associated with adulthood, with growing up cast as a transition into a lack of agency as one is forced to realize the flaws of the world and ultimately give in. Since the change is often depicted as inevitable, growing chrono-children are expected to face it, even though change to the world around them is not considered inevitable in the same right. Bitter chrono-adults become set in their ways, continuously reaching for the incomplete memories of a better life “before everything changed”.

One commonly-discussed instance of trauma coinciding with the end or destruction of childhood seems to be puberty. It’s a situation of changes to the body having more sway on how someone is viewed than changes to the mind, a change that supposedly happens to their “self” without their own control, and someone’s mind can become locked in place trying to preserve what personhood and identity was seemingly forcibly stripped from them by flesh. It’s a stage where people are expected to become more aware of their bodies rather than continuing to live in them happily without concern or insecurity. Even the way someone uses their body becomes less confident and caring, especially as it continues to develop health issues while routinely failing to represent oneself properly. Once the body has begun to prioritize one’s reproduction over their own wellbeing, society seems all too content with following suit, and in a world that believes innocence is bliss, sometimes the belief that you are no longer innocent removes the obligation of others to keep your life blissful. Mature conversations are shared with someone and their appropriate participation expected, even if they do not have the capacity to engage appropriately. The enforcement of binaries blamed on the body puts additional social pressures on people that only worsen their ability to perform well or feel well about it. Even though I never went through puberty, just being treated as an age at which I shouldn’t have been thought to experience that would improve my efficiency and state of mind by further distancing the idea of me from a time period where chrono-children are expected to diverge into objectifiable biological roles.

Due to how society juxtaposes young and old, growing out of childhood into anything that isn’t seniority feels in many ways like a step down. At that point an individual is expected to take on responsibility and be held seriously accountable for any shortcomings, but their autonomy to make decisions and express themself is not respected. The individual is replaced with a category as their biological development becomes confirmation of additional stereotypes that can be applied to them. They are not considered to have the crystallized intelligence of a wizened elder, but they are also no longer considered to possess the childlike wonder of those who are “the future”, already feeling so old that their lives are over and no longer the topic of plans or improvements. Even though how wise someone is believed to be also depends on how much people agree with them, a chrono-child who isn’t believed to be wise can still seemingly change to eventually acquire virtues and progress that chrono-adults are thought to be stuck lacking.

The association between youth and intellectualism or skill is part of what drives me to cling to it. I want others to believe I am still growing and that there is much more I am capable of, surprising others with how much I know instead of how I don’t know everything. That association inspires my interest in immortal childhood as well; it’s the perfect idea that a child can live for centuries or longer, acquiring knowledge and power over that timeframe that far surpasses what most human lifespans enable, while still possessing the youth and youthful, androgynous appearance that allow them escape from mature categorizations and topics, sympathy and pity for their suffering, grace for and growth from their flaws, and low-commitment expectations that they can surpass in a time of need or want. At least if I already feel isolated from and critical of greater society, I should have the diplomatic immunity to pass through it without being snared.

When people say they used to believe something or do something and then “grew up”, or when people say “you’ll understand when you’re older”, what does that actually mean? Is it simply the passage of time that changes how people view the world? Is it the collection of additional experiences? Is it the kind of experiences? Is it the pressure to meet expectations or desire to conform to some idea of maturity? People of all ages seem to say this.

I was talking to my daddy about how I wish there was a law that was passed that allowed us kiddos, middles, and teens to live freely and he asked me what the law would be called, and who better to ask than the community, hehes?

Sharing this to try and feel less alone. . Not sure if this is the right space to share. Just let me know

I'm 13, and I pass for maybe 8-10, but I wanna look even younger. I don't know if there's much more I can do to look much younger, though. for reference, I'm 4'10, thin, have somewhat of a babyface, have long curly disheveled hair, and I wear clothes that are a bit too big for my body. I don't have many secondary sex characteristics. is there anything more I could do?

For those here who have dated and are in a relationship did you tell your partner you were NGU right away? or did you wait to get to knowing each other on a deeper level first?

I dont know what to do anymore. do I just suck it up and live as I want? I cant afford any ways of making myself look less grown. I cant get breast reduction or lipo or anything that would make me look smaller but I also can't go back to having an ED either. is it okay to be a kid in this body? am I doing something wrong? is there something wrong with my body? I see everyone talking about surgeries and it makes me feel like thats the only way I'll ever be allowed to exist. i dont know what to do

Hi all,

I love the diversity of ethnicities, nationalities, cultures and religions that we have here!

I'm curious to know, do you live in the same area that you spent your chrono-childhood (or the part of it which aligns with ur age identity if you lived in different places as a chrono-kid or still are one)?

It will work on those assigned male at birth. So I went through Voice Feminization Surgery with something called a "Wendler Glottoplasty", and it was only prescribed to raise the pitch of my voice but not do any further feminization. I am nonbinary so naturally I wanted to at least achieve neutral vocals. Anyway, what I found without doing any voice training is that I was often perceived much younger than I am. I'm over 30 and was being read as a 14 year old boy in online games. Obviously I had wanted to achieve "girl sounding" or "neutral sounding" but the result was second best! I still prefer that I sound young over what I sounded like before. It's not a bad thing or a bad turnout because it still made me sound better than I did before. I can always do more vocal training when my mental health improves but for now I am settling for younger voice. I thought this would be cool to share as a possible improvement for those who are willing to fork over money to sound younger. I never heard of anyone doing that just to sound younger, but maybe there's someone here who feels bad about their voice and may want to pursue it. Any questions, ask away!

Hi all - life update,

Currently I'm at holiday camp (using gov-funded childcare vouchers due to my financial situation), and it's been alright so far. There are several fun activities to do: a friend did nail art, and I've also done some colouring (it matches my unicorn diary set!)

There weren't as much questions about my NGU-status as there were about me being trans, my hair (I'm currently wearing box braids & am biracial) etc.

What "childish" activities do you like to do in your free time? Lmk, I'd love to hear about your fav hobbies and activities! 😀 Wishing everyone all the best.

Lots of love,

Bella 💖

(P.S. We are all valid as NGUs regardless of chrono-age or how many years our dysphoria spans. Even tho I'm technically a chrono-minor, I still experience age dysphoria from time to time, and am atypical from ppl my chrono-age - my friends are all quite younger than me physically)

Just curious if you went on any sort of holiday club, camp etc., to know your feelings about it. If you did, pls tell me ur honest experiences so I can get to know more about you.

this is rex and he uses a special chair to help him like me!! havin a puppy like him makes me happy n smiley

(Note: I'm aware that you don't need dysphoria to be transgender, just felt like the easiest way to phrase the title. Also if this is an insensitive question let me know so I can exut this post to be less offensive or take it down)

I'm curious, I've noticed a lot of people in this community are trans

Are there things that give you gender euphoria but age dysphoria, or age euphoria but gender dysphoria? Or things that give you both age and gender dysphoria or euphoria? Does your age identity affect your gender identity in any way or vice versa?

This book is absolutely beautiful. All the stories were originally published in the 50s and 60s (1 or 2 from 1948 I think). I absolutely love children's books from that time. Definitely my favorite Era to fantasize about if I had been a biokid in it!

mine mental age according too vineland adaptive behavior scale is 4 1/2 - 5 years old and i cannot do college or work or adls or own mine own place hide it i cannot do very many thing

this is what i srruggle with with mine mental age being so low

i coulsd never be able do college or hide mine mental age oer mask it

thats what i not understand

are we talking about different things?

i think a majority of you guys are talk about a different thing when you say mental age and talk about still be able too do college, work a job, own apartment or house, be in a relationship, do adls, etc

cause if a majority was there mental age for example someone who says there mental age is 2 they would not be able do adult things like go college or work job or understand any of that and other stuff