i work with my absolute unicorn of a family and truly love coming to work for them each day. right now there is just 1 NK with #2 on the way.

my only responsibilities outside of watching NK is dishes and bottles related NK(s) and any toys that need washed. i have found myself doing other little random things here and there to help when i can like sometimes loading dishes in the dish washer, emptying the trash, sweeping the kitchen, and changing the diaper pail. they haven’t asked that i do anything extra and i really don’t mind helping out if i have the time however i don’t want to start a job creep where these regularly become something they expect of me, i don’t foresee this happening but i know it can happen. is there a way a can toe this line without making it part of my responsibilities in the future??

Why do parents never respect end time??? Even when in my interviews I specifically mention I am a human and need to be leaving at my end time not 5-10-20 mins later because parents walk in at end time and want to talk about the day after.

Genuinely may just be me and my OCD but I value my time and I just worked with your kid for 8.5 hrs and would like to go home???

I just think it’s so disrespectful 😭

so i’ve started working a nanny share a month ago with a 7 month old and an 8 month old. their naps were lining up which was great for me i got a break, but then quickly the parents of the 7 month old wanted to start transitioning from 3 naps a day to 2, which meant the nap schedule shifted. now their naps are the complete opposite one wakes up and the next go to sleep which means i’ve had no breaks at all for 10 hour days or i just have a 30 minutes break if it overlaps. i’ve brought it up to the 7 month old mom (actually i’ve said it to both moms but the 7 month old one’s schedule is the one that completely changed) like hey this is just something on my radar that i know babies are unpredictable i prepared for that but not only are they not even interacting which is a huge point of nanny share that they found important (but when i brought that point up the mom suddenly said that’s not her importance??) but it’s really not feasible for the long term i’m EXHAUSTED being on the whole entire day with no breaks and by the end of the day i have no energy to truly interact with them like i should be able to. i mean there’s also a ton more “issues” that is also a reason why i’m probably nitpicking on little things and wondering like is this worth it because to be honest me and the 7 month old family don’t really match that well but it’s just at bay enough to finish out our contract… anyways any advice is appreciated, am i just being a brat and i should suck it up because it’s what i signed up for? idk.

Hello!
I’ve been having some issues with my NF in my last 5 weeks of my contract. Context for leading up to this is below.
The questionable comment is “My name knows nothing.” Coming from NK and she shouts it and points to her nose and laughs. She’s 3 so it makes sense if “knows” is confused with “nose.” This happened last Friday, but it was towards the end of the day so I let it go and wanted to give the parents the benefit of the doubt.
But over the past three days, she has said it repeatedly and this morning said it in the kitchen while MB was in her office, just a few feet away. It obviously wasn’t acknowledged, but I’m really trying to think of anything else it could mean other than “Nanny knows nothing.” I asked NK who says that and she says MB does. What do you guys think?

Context:
On an intense night between the parents, DB reached out to me close to midnight to berate me about where I have slacked on the job and how it’s making MB work overtime. (I do more than what’s in my contract like grocery runs, returns, and package drop offs because I just want to be helpful and yes, I do follow my contract obligations minus changing bedding. I checked this after being accused.)
All while throwing her under the bus and calling her a bad manager. I addressed it saying it was inappropriate and unprofessional. Things did not go well the next day when I didn’t accept his apology. (I would have eventually, but it was too soon and he wasn’t supposed to be home so I was caught off guard.)
Things got heated, and apparently MB had told him that I had not done some of the things asked, but I revealed to him in our conversation that I was never asked to do these things. When he asked her if she was lying, I stopped them and said “this has nothing to do with me anymore.” I left 30 minutes early that day and took the next day off because it would’ve been too soon to see them.

The next day, I text MB (this was a mistake) apologizing for losing my cool and reiterating how I’m impressed that she keeps things afloat and I value our relationship and hope for it to go back to the way it was, but understand if it doesn’t. I explained that I want to apologize in person. I know it seems like I’m taking her side BUT the morning after the text, she verbatim tells me “I’m so sorry, I’m so embarrassed. DB has a problem with how demanding my job is and thinks if you aren’t working OT, then why am I and that has nothing to do with you. WE are good. I have addressed anything that needs to be addressed.”

She turned around on me and accused me of ignoring DB over the years and being disrespectful to him. (I was hurt because I would never do something like that.) She also accused me of never following through with tasks in my contract. And then she said “you need this job as much as I need mine.” And honestly that’s ringing heavy in my ear today. Since then, MB has been passive aggressive and the kindness is fake. Any kind gestures went out the door. And there is a power imbalance that is being used to full advantage by dangling my income over my head.

I was brought into an uncomfortable and disrespectful situation because of their marital issues and then I was used as the scapegoat to get their marriage back on track so they seem like a team again. And none of it had anything to do with me. With 5 weeks left.

I’m so done, but I raised NK for two years and want to cherish my time with her. There’s only 9 days left, but I won’t stay if she’s telling NK that I “know nothing.”

I’m beyond words for how hurt I am that this is where we are at.

TLDR: DB berates me for slacking on the job at midnight. I call out the unprofessionalism. I don’t accept apology because it’s too soon. MB who was “embarrassed” by his behavior and said there was nothing to fix in person, flipped on me and accused me of being disrespectful and not doing my job via text the next day.
We squashed it, but MB is passive aggressive and now NK is parroting rude and disrespectful things MB has said.

Edit to add: I will probably delete this in a few days because I’m not sure if NP use Reddit.

I have been with a family for a little over a year as a 40+ hour a week nanny and house manager. It has been very hard work. After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, pots, and HEDS, I need to retire due to chronic pain. I’m in my late 40s. Both parents are physicians and I don’t want to have to disclose too much personal info. How would you word your discussion/ letter of resignation? I am dreading this because I know it is going to be so hard on them to find another nanny. It just sucks on both ends.
Thanks for your advice!

B23 months loves The Lion King and says, “Coo coo Tata, no worries!”

I got a text from my NF during the weekend. The 3 girls will be in school full time starting August 17th and mom will be taking care of them in the afternoons. Which is great, they need family time. I adore these girls. They have taught me so much and we love each other. I’m sure this won’t be goodbye forever. And I’m honestly pretty burnt out.
That gives me a month to find another job. But I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do next. And I think I desperately need to switch careers.
I’m getting my certification to be a Spanish Medical Interpreter. I don’t think I’ll be done on time. But maybe I could find one time jobs here and there until I’m ready to start.
I’m just so scared to start over! And it feels nostalgic already. But the thought of a new family and the adaptation process makes me so much more anxious.
I’ve enjoyed my years as a nanny. And I’ve loved so many kids. But I just can’t keep doing it.
Maybe this is the push that I need. And maybe it’ll be better in the long run.
I’m grateful for everything I’ve learned and experienced as a nanny. And I hope to see my girls again in the future.

My nanny family has a six year old and a nearly three year old and I swear they forget how old their youngest is! They got rid of all the Lego duplo, they throw away pieces to the number and letter match puzzles, And when I buy things like color and shape cards and games, I get told it’s useless. The three year old doesn’t know their colors, can’t recognize their name, and struggles with animals and body parts as well. He is behind and I don’t know how to get it through the parents’ heads that he has interests other than what his brother likes and sports. He would kill for a kitchen set but they are buying him a bike for his third birthday in two weeks. They also don’t do out of the house one on one time with him at all, and the ND wrestles with him even when he screams and cries because he “likes sports”. He hates it and it makes me so sad.

Hi there! I need advice from the Bay Area parents and Nannies I don’t want to be taken advantage of again.

I’ve been a nanny/babysitter for about 3 years now, 1 years as a live in ages 2, 5, and 7 where I was left alone with them for weeks at a time due to single mom being in the military. Managed EVERYTHING completely independently that was related to them and the household besides mom’s schedule.
Now I’m looking at a job offer in the Bay where they want me to give them my desired salary. Same ages 2, 5, 7. Id be handling some household chores (kids laundry, clean up, dishes, cooking here and there etc) with drop off and pickup here and there in my car, and the 2yr old would be with me all day. They seem like a lovely family and have had Nannie’s before they moved as well so they’re not new to this.

They want me to give them a weekly salary, on a payroll system. My question is what’s reasonable for the Bay Area in the 510 area. I’m ok with being a little cheaper, but I don’t want to be underestimating myself either. I find that I am a people pleaser and it’s hard for me to ask for what I’m worth. It’s a big job I’ve done it before when I was 19 and naive, and I’m terrified of getting stuck again. Any tips or things I should bring up in the contract? Thank you in advance!!
Edit: long hours, 48ish a week

Just feeling super misunderstood and sad about this and want to chat. I was a nanny for a 1yo baby girl, I’d been with this family since she was around 2 or 3 months so I care about her a lot, she’s the sweetest thing. And I always thought I had a pretty solid working relationship with her parents.

NK isn’t walking yet so she pulls up on any furniture she can to “cruise”. Last week there was a wad of cash sitting on the coffee table where NK frequents. She’s at that age where she gets into everything and I didn’t want her to mess with the cash, didn’t want it misplaced and also didn’t want her to put it in her mouth (money is so filthy) so I moved it to the kitchen table where she can’t reach. Didn’t think anything of it.

But when I left for the day I got a text from MB in our group chat with DB and she asked if I’d seen the cash because it’s missing. I told her I had put it on the kitchen table so NK didn’t get into it and explained my reasonings. There was no response for about 20 minutes then MB replied and said she found the cash on the table but there was money missing. There had been $400 there and now there was only $250. Of course I was freaking out because she thinks I took it but I didn’t know what else to tell her other than yes I moved the cash but I absolutely didn’t take any. And that’s the truth! That was Thursday, I went to work Friday like usual and it was a little awkward but they didn’t bring up the cash again but then they fired me over the weekend over TEXT. Said they were letting me go with cause and referenced the missing cash so I’m not getting any severance and I suddenly don’t have a job with no reference letter from them.

This really sucks because previously I had no genuine issues with this family. I like their baby a lot and the position was supposed to last until she was 3, and I‘m devastated I won’t be able to see her grow into toddlerhood. And I just don’t understand how they could think I’d do something like that :/ Like I have no idea what happened to the cash….maybe she miscounted or maybe DB took it and didn’t want to speak up. Or maybe they wanted to fire me and just didn’t want to pay severance or give notice. But wth, it wasn’t me.

We've had our nanny about 5 months for infant twin girls. I work from home but stay in my office as much as humanely possible to give her and the kids space. No surveillance system. She's very nice but very young and I'm unsure if the problem is the job offering or the nanny.

Context: moderate COL area, 6.5 hours/day Mon-Fri, payroll, sick leave, $25/hour. All food is prepped so she's just reheating and serving. Cleaning is only their playpen area, highchairs and their dishes used for meals that she feeds them and loading our bottle washer (any messes made outside of her work hours are absolutely not part of her duties).

My concerns are she just seems to be on her phone all day, scrolling, phone calls, FaceTime. The TV is on all the time even though we've asked for very minimal screen time. If I walk by to sneak into the kitchen she'll put her phone away and act like she's playing with them. The bigger factor is she doesn't seem to do anything like play with them, developmentally appropriate activities, go for walks, or take them outside where we have a play area and their bouncers set up even though she's been directly asked to do these. We recently reviewed her contract with her and emphasized these things. Cleaning is hit or miss, we've had convos on being on time but she's young so idk trying to give her some grace. Otherwise she's mostly reliable, communication is fine, and she's very sweet to the kids.

I guess I just thought a nanny had more child development skills? Having a nanny is already a financial stretch for us so I'm wondering if we're just paying too low for my expectations and need to reconsider (although good luck finding two infant spots at a daycare) or if we're being taken advantage of?

TLDR: Nanny doesn't do any activities or play with the kids but everything else is mostly fine- are we not paying enough for a nanny or overpaying for an average babysitter?

This happened last year, and I've always been curious about it.

I had a simple intake interview with Adventure Nannies where we mostly went over my resume and experience. After the call, I was invited to create a candidate profile and upload my references, certifications, education, and other documents to their portal.

I hadn't even finished uploading everything yet—this was only about two days later—when I received this email.

Has anyone gotten one of these and later ended up working with them? Or once you get this email, are you essentially out of consideration indefinitely?

Hi,

Thank you again for taking the time to chat yesterday! It was a pleasure getting to know you and learning more about your experience and background. Following your agency interview, the ___ family has let us know they’ve decided to move forward with another candidate. Because we invest between 10 and 15 hours in our vetting process for each candidate, we are intentional about the paths we pursue. At this time, we will not be moving forward with the next steps. Our goal is always to support successful placements and to invest in candidates where we see strong alignment with current opportunities.

We truly appreciate your interest and the care you bring to your work. and share in the disappointment that we’re not able to move forward. While our decision is final, it is a reflection of our internal process and policies, not a reflection on you, your skills, or your ability to support families in your community.

Wishing you all the best in your search for the right long-term opportunity!

Warmly,

NK1 is absolutely obsessed with the Roomba. NK3 is screeching high-pitched, climbing me like I’m a tree, afraid of the Roomba.

Which reminds me I need to do NK3’s fingernails

My MB just lost her great grandmother last week and now her mom is in the ER for how she’s been acting. She confessed to me that she’s worried she’ll lose her. Is there anything I can give her to help her through this?

I have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old. What are typical activities a nanny can do with the kids? I’ve had a more proactive nanny in the past, but I think my current one just kind of watches them in the house, though she’s nice. I have encouraged her to go to the park and library. What are fun activities that are reasonable to ask my nanny to do with my age kids? Is it also okay to ask my nanny to plan these out or should I figure the activities out?

So I started with this family recently and I'm so close to walking out. They keep the air at 76° and keep walking in and making the baby cry from separation anxiety and getting mad at me saying I'm not doing enough to make him stop even though I DID EVERYTHING!! he's also teething and barely knows me since I've been gone all week. They also keep waking him so he's gotten no sleep. He is 7mo and only allowed 30min-1hr naps. I have a list of things to get done and barely have time to eat or drink water. They've said I don't wear him out enough for naps. Mind you I did tummy time, read him book, sang to him, took him outside, fed him, and gave him a bath. I'm going crazy but need a job. They only pay $20hr which is 5 below what I charge for one kid and I have a 40 minute commute. I'm so desperate for a job and about to file for bankruptcy. Also let me know any other side gigs all do because I'm over this. Allssooo they want him to eat with a spoon and hands on his own with no help

I know nannies aren’t expected to get formal breaks but during naptime is when we’re supposed to recuperate after we’ve done all the tasks that we’re supposed to during that time. I’m in a nanny share and the moms are vastly different and it’s driving me up a wall. Mom B tells me to relax during nks 2.5 hour nap. Mom A assigns alls these stupid extra tasks that aren’t in my contract (my fault but what started off as one off ask is now built into my routine).

Granted the stuff she asks is child related like organizing and toy swapping or laundry but I’m not doing that for Mom B so it feels weird to do it Mom A. If her child slept the same I don’t think I would mind as much but her child only sleeps 75 minutes. On a bad day (maybe once or twice a week) I get zero breaks when their naps don’t line up. I work 8.5 hours. I’m not a robot.

Mom A will break me for ten minutes so I can shove food down my mouth but on days where I have an hour and she sees me on the couch she’ll ask me to something extra which pisses me off. If I’ve cleaned up everything and have done the dishes why can’t I rot my brain for a thirty minutes. Especially when my breaks aren’t guaranteed when I try to soak up extra time. If I have 2+ hours I will try to make myself busy but if I’m chilling for an hour she gets irritated. And mind you during that hour I’m not really resting the whole time since twenty to thirty minutes if that is meant for tasks while the rest goes to eating or resting.

We share a house cleaner and she complained the other day about the cleaner didn’t do a good job and that she feels like if she’s paying her money she expects more which fine and fair but the cleaner is cheap and she does good as far as I can tell. It made me wonder though if she talks about me like to Mom B and it rubs me the wrong way. My contract ends in a couple weeks and I’m excited for this to be my last nanny family. I am not the help.

I am just so frustrated with my job. I work for a nanny agency as a floater where I get sent shifts. I was hired under the idea I’d get full time hours and that hasn’t been the case. It’s been so annoying and so hard and I finally caved and found a nanny family. I start the first week of August. I’m very excited as this is a family I’ve floated with before and I’m ready to just have a consistent schedule and work with people that like me.

These next two weeks until I start I’m with this family that’s driving me crazy. MB texted me this morning (while I was here) and told me she wouldn’t need me tmr. Technically per agency policy that’s not allowed and she’d need to pay me anyways but I really need a break and I didn’t even press it I was just like okay no worries! And then I texted my mom and made plans with her and made plans with another friend. 3 hours later she comes to me in person and was like oh actually can you work 2 hours tmr I have an appt. I was caught very off guard and I was just like oh maybe I have plans with my mom now and I think we have reservations. I plan to text her when I get home and be like yes we do have reservations so I wouldn’t be available during that time.

But I’m scared because I am technically scheduled to work. I am just so done. I really need tmr off and I feel like I can barely stand to even come in the next two weeks. I need like 16 hours for my budget and I’m scheduled for over 40. I really would rather just back out fully and find someone to babysit for on Facebook for 2 days or something. The shifts are so awkward with this family because they have three Nannie’s including me for 2 kids and also the mom stays home. It feels like I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing because everyone else here is a regular and anytime I try to help I feel like it’s wrong. It’s so mentally tiring and makes the days feel so so long.

Idk basically I’m just ranting because I’ve been struggling so much with this job.

I posted a few days ago about how I hated my current nanny jobs and I got so much helpful advice so now I’m wondering where to find good nanny jobs? I feel like everywhere I look parents are offering $15 an hour which is just way too low. I’m in Utah so I’m not sure if that changes things? I have 6 years of experience and think I’m worth at least $18 an hour lol, any advice would be helpful!! Thanks!

Hey all! I work for a great family, but the 4 year old has become so frustrating. I dread going to work. When I first started she was 2 and an an only child (mom was expecting). She was a super easy kid, smart and sweet. Ever since baby sister was born it's all downhill. It's not just baby sister that is behind the behavior issues, it's also normal milestones as they start recognizing their independence and free will.

She does not share, listen or follow directions. She is about 98% impluse and 2% rational action. She spends all day pulling toys away from her sister because she can't stand to share. It's a game to do the opposite of what I say. Go wash your hands means run away and wipe them on the couch. Don't hit means hit harder. She's smart and smart kids are the most challenging. She hits and kicks when it's nap time. She grins at me when she misbehaves. "Isn't this fun?"

The problem is that the parents' method of discipline is time outs. It's pointless. She gets up, runs away, gets toys. I restart the timer a million times and it's just a fun game for her. There is no healthy respect for authority. She doesn't care about consequences because there are none that she fears.

My question is this - do you have any creative methods of discipline that actually work and don't violate the whole (ineffective, imo) gentle parenting method of child rearing? I am so glad I am from an older generation who demanded respect from their kids.

Thanks in advance for any tricks you may want to share!

A couple years ago I worked for a family with 4 kids. The mom and the kids are very slim. It’s clear she puts a lot of effort into making healthy meals.

Her son (9 years at the time) was described as a picky eater. He never finishes his dinner and doesn’t eat much at school. One day I brought lunch which was Jamaican stew chicken, rice and peas, and some steamed vegetables. That day the kids were having chicken and some steamed veggies. Mom doesn’t cook with salt so it was just chicken breast with a very light sprinkling of adobo and boiled veggies. He asked if he could have some of my food and the look on his face as he ate was priceless. After that I started bringing an extra plate for him but kept it to once a week because I didn’t want to offend the mom. I asked about it but she said she was just happy he’s eating something. At the time I was making Challah bread all the time so I would always bring a loaf for the family.

He is definitely not a picky eater but the foods I brought were definitely not as healthy as what his mom prepares.

Hi yall…very rare but I’m kind of stuck in a bad situation for the next month or so and could use some advice! I’m this lil guys first caregiver outside of grandparents for some context.

This kid is very cute but oh em gee. If I so much as pretend to pick him up with his parents around he screams. If his parents say goodbye and leave the room for the whole day he just screams. With a rare day of being chill. Doesn’t really make anything better when he knows one of his parents is somewhere in the apartment. This still happens 2 weeks in.

On top of this, his mom has told me they stopped contact naps months ago (11m) and she wants me to get him in his crib or even just on their bed for nap. He doesn’t transfer at all anymore. I got him down for maybe 4 crib naps all together (which ofc only lasts 25 mins as i’m sure you’ve assumed these people aren’t sleep training yet) but now if i even move my hands to try to put him down he will wake up and scream so I’ve been doing contact naps and his mom brings it up every time i do. Every transition also means screaming. Diapers, going outside, coming inside, waking up, going to sleep, getting the high chair, eating food, getting a bottle, finishing a bottle…like EVERY THING.

So my questions are…how on earth am I supposed to get this kid in his crib with no tears?? also any rare tips on separation anxiety when the parents just culturally aren’t trusting of others? (Southern Asians) It took me a good 7 days to convince them that they don’t need to come out everytime he cries for more than a minute or 2 so he’s been conditioned to know crying gets what he wants eventually which makes it all worse ofc lol

Hi! I (25f) am a nanny to two girls, 4 and 7. I’ve been working for the family roughly 15 hours/week for about 10 months now. The last two months, the 4 year old girl has had pretty significant behavioral changes toward me.

During the school year, I spent the majority of my hours with the 4 year old alone while the 7 year old was at school. Since the start of summer, I watch both girls pretty much 100% of the time. The 4 year old and I had a great relationship before, calm days, with her expressing her love for me daily (literally saying “I love you,” haha).

About two months ago, I noticed some changes. I witnessed my first several “toddler tantrums” from her, scream sobbing and all the usual. There are times where she sticks her tongue out at me and spits when I say something she doesn’t like, she frequently ignores me/pretends she doesn’t hear me when I ask her to follow the rules or stop doing something that her mom disapproves of, says things like “I don’t have to listen to you” or “this is my house not yours.” I’ve tried to regulate by keeping a neutral/calm tone, saying things like “I talk to you with kindness and treat you nice, can we both try to be nice and kind to each other?” Or saying “when you do XYZ, it hurts my feelings. Can we try to be kind to each other?” During her tantrums, I tell her that I’ll let her feel her big feelings and she can come talk to me when she’s ready (she often screams “leave me alone” in these moments).

Yesterday, she ignored me when I asked her to stop doing something, again. The behavior escalated as she started fighting with her older sister (physically fighting over a shared object), and spiraled into her falling over after I tried to intervene by standing in between the two. At this point, my anxiety is escalating and I feel myself less regulated during these incidents. I’ve gently informed the nanny mom of the behavior the last several times I watch them, but I’m starting to feel anxious that I’ll be replaced if I keep reporting bad behavior every time. I have an excellent relationship with the family, and truly want to find a way to work through this. Part of me thinks that it might be a result of the nannying time being shared vs solo time with me. I go back again today, and have a loose plan to bring a fun activity with me to reset.

I’m looking for any advice on the situation. I’ve talked with the nanny mom, and she says that the 4 year old has had trouble listening to her and the dad lately as well, so I don’t think the behavior is isolated to me. I feel awkward continuing to talk about her daughter’s treatment of me. I’m not looking for the girls to be absolute angels, I know that’s not realistic. I just need some help with ways I can regulate myself/not feel so frustrated during these moments, as well as approaches I can take to hopefully regulate this behavior. I appreciate you listening!