Why do parents never respect end time??? Even when in my interviews I specifically mention I am a human and need to be leaving at my end time not 5-10-20 mins later because parents walk in at end time and want to talk about the day after.

Genuinely may just be me and my OCD but I value my time and I just worked with your kid for 8.5 hrs and would like to go home???

I just think it’s so disrespectful 😭

My nanny recently got scan results that prompted her doctor to refer her to an oncologist and recommend a biopsy. She told me today that she might need 3 weeks of for treatment -- ok, fine, we understand, we'll figure it out....

But then, after a little more conversation, she reveals she is so scared of chemotherapy that she has not made an appointment with an oncologist and she will not get a biopsy, this "treatment" is something homeopathic frequency treatment that requires daily application for 6-8 hours a day, for 3 weeks, given by someone who is definitely not a doctor.

I can't force my nanny to get medical care (she has stated that she would prefer to die than get chemo), though I'm certainly going to try.

If she was actually *getting* chemo or a surgery or radiation, we would figure out backup care and how to navigate any changes in capabilities. But she's not.

I'm just not certain how to navigate this as an employer.

i work with my absolute unicorn of a family and truly love coming to work for them each day. right now there is just 1 NK with #2 on the way.

my only responsibilities outside of watching NK is dishes and bottles related NK(s) and any toys that need washed. i have found myself doing other little random things here and there to help when i can like sometimes loading dishes in the dish washer, emptying the trash, sweeping the kitchen, and changing the diaper pail. they haven’t asked that i do anything extra and i really don’t mind helping out if i have the time however i don’t want to start a job creep where these regularly become something they expect of me, i don’t foresee this happening but i know it can happen. is there a way a can toe this line without making it part of my responsibilities in the future??

You get in the car and your phone starts playing schoolhouse rock.

I’ve been a nanny for about 5 years, and in my previous nanny jobs, if the family was ordering food or getting coffee, I was usually offered something. I never expected it or felt entitled to it, but it was generally something that happened naturally.

My current family eats out constantly, often multiple times a day. They also frequently order coffee. I’ve casually mentioned that I like coffee, and there have been multiple times where they’ll talk to me about the food or drinks they’re ordering and I’ll say something like, “Oh, I like that too,” but they’ve never offered to get me anything.

When I interviewed, they actually asked if there were any snacks I wanted them to keep in the house for me. At the time, I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the job, so I said I would have to think about it. Since being hired, they’ve never brought it up again. I also do grocery shopping for the household sometimes, so it feels a little strange that they’ve never asked if there’s anything I would like them to keep around for me.

The only time they have ever offered me food was when they had guests over. They were offering food to the other people there, and because I happened to be in the room, they offered me something too. I had already eaten and said no, but I honestly found it weird that this was the only time they had ever offered me anything. It made me feel like I was only included because someone else was there.

I know this probably sounds incredibly petty, and I genuinely don’t expect my employers to feed me. I bring my own food to work and have no problem doing that. It’s more the fact that they eat out so frequently and have never once thought to ask if I might want something. Sometimes they’ll order food, leave all the bags and containers in the kitchen, and I’ll end up cleaning it up because I’m already cleaning the kitchen anyway. That part especially bothers me because I go above and beyond with things around the house simply because I like a clean environment and want to be helpful.

I think the bigger issue is that I feel invisible to them in general. I really value having a close relationship with my nanny families and feeling like I’m part of the household in some way. I feel like I’m always the one asking about them, asking follow-up questions, and trying to engage in conversation. They rarely ask about me or seem curious about my life unless I volunteer information myself.

To be clear, in other ways they are professional and respectful. They pay me properly and on time, respect my working hours, and acknowledge that I work really well with their child. I don’t have major complaints about the job itself. That’s almost why this bothers me so much. I feel like I’m treated well professionally, but not necessarily like a person they’re interested in getting to know or including.

I think what’s bothering me is less the actual food and more what it makes me question about how they view me. Am I overthinking this, or would other nannies also find this dynamic a little strange?

so i’ve started working a nanny share a month ago with a 7 month old and an 8 month old. their naps were lining up which was great for me i got a break, but then quickly the parents of the 7 month old wanted to start transitioning from 3 naps a day to 2, which meant the nap schedule shifted. now their naps are the complete opposite one wakes up and the next go to sleep which means i’ve had no breaks at all for 10 hour days or i just have a 30 minutes break if it overlaps. i’ve brought it up to the 7 month old mom (actually i’ve said it to both moms but the 7 month old one’s schedule is the one that completely changed) like hey this is just something on my radar that i know babies are unpredictable i prepared for that but not only are they not even interacting which is a huge point of nanny share that they found important (but when i brought that point up the mom suddenly said that’s not her importance??) but it’s really not feasible for the long term i’m EXHAUSTED being on the whole entire day with no breaks and by the end of the day i have no energy to truly interact with them like i should be able to. i mean there’s also a ton more “issues” that is also a reason why i’m probably nitpicking on little things and wondering like is this worth it because to be honest me and the 7 month old family don’t really match that well but it’s just at bay enough to finish out our contract… anyways any advice is appreciated, am i just being a brat and i should suck it up because it’s what i signed up for? idk.

How bad would this look? I’m so burnt out. I’ve never done this, but basically my NP’s are in the med field and MB will have days where she’s post-call. She usually wont have to work, but may get called in (she said she probably won’t) and lets me know at like 5:30AM. Yesterday as I was leaving she told me that DB would be late so I had to keep NK3 home from school (I usually have him twice a week bc exhausting with hours/they want him in school) with NK10mo. I’ve been awake since 5AM, didn’t get off until a little after 6PM and my 40 min drive turned into almost 2 hrs due to a ‘standoff’ on I-75. I won’t be home until about 8PM. I’m getting gas and about to sob lol. I love my family, but it’s a lot and bc I love them I do ample activities with the kiddos/work hard as heck. 😭 I don’t take time off very often at all - if ever. Would it be unprofessional to ask to take PTO if I’m not needed tomorrow? Usually I’ll go in late (11-12), MB will shop or whatever and then grab NK3 from school. So I’m there for maybe 4 hrs or less! So it feels silly and last minute, but just the commute and the exhausted dreadful feeling I’m having rn is beating everything. Thanks guys.

Hello!
I’ve been having some issues with my NF in my last 5 weeks of my contract. Context for leading up to this is below.
The questionable comment is “My name knows nothing.” Coming from NK and she shouts it and points to her nose and laughs. She’s 3 so it makes sense if “knows” is confused with “nose.” This happened last Friday, but it was towards the end of the day so I let it go and wanted to give the parents the benefit of the doubt.
But over the past three days, she has said it repeatedly and this morning said it in the kitchen while MB was in her office, just a few feet away. It obviously wasn’t acknowledged, but I’m really trying to think of anything else it could mean other than “Nanny knows nothing.” I asked NK who says that and she says MB does. What do you guys think?

Context:
On an intense night between the parents, DB reached out to me close to midnight to berate me about where I have slacked on the job and how it’s making MB work overtime. (I do more than what’s in my contract like grocery runs, returns, and package drop offs because I just want to be helpful and yes, I do follow my contract obligations minus changing bedding. I checked this after being accused.)
All while throwing her under the bus and calling her a bad manager. I addressed it saying it was inappropriate and unprofessional. Things did not go well the next day when I didn’t accept his apology. (I would have eventually, but it was too soon and he wasn’t supposed to be home so I was caught off guard.)
Things got heated, and apparently MB had told him that I had not done some of the things asked, but I revealed to him in our conversation that I was never asked to do these things. When he asked her if she was lying, I stopped them and said “this has nothing to do with me anymore.” I left 30 minutes early that day and took the next day off because it would’ve been too soon to see them.

The next day, I text MB (this was a mistake) apologizing for losing my cool and reiterating how I’m impressed that she keeps things afloat and I value our relationship and hope for it to go back to the way it was, but understand if it doesn’t. I explained that I want to apologize in person. I know it seems like I’m taking her side BUT the morning after the text, she verbatim tells me “I’m so sorry, I’m so embarrassed. DB has a problem with how demanding my job is and thinks if you aren’t working OT, then why am I and that has nothing to do with you. WE are good. I have addressed anything that needs to be addressed.”

She turned around on me and accused me of ignoring DB over the years and being disrespectful to him. (I was hurt because I would never do something like that.) She also accused me of never following through with tasks in my contract. And then she said “you need this job as much as I need mine.” And honestly that’s ringing heavy in my ear today. Since then, MB has been passive aggressive and the kindness is fake. Any kind gestures went out the door. And there is a power imbalance that is being used to full advantage by dangling my income over my head.

I was brought into an uncomfortable and disrespectful situation because of their marital issues and then I was used as the scapegoat to get their marriage back on track so they seem like a team again. And none of it had anything to do with me. With 5 weeks left.

I’m so done, but I raised NK for two years and want to cherish my time with her. There’s only 9 days left, but I won’t stay if she’s telling NK that I “know nothing.”

I’m beyond words for how hurt I am that this is where we are at.

TLDR: DB berates me for slacking on the job at midnight. I call out the unprofessionalism. I don’t accept apology because it’s too soon. MB who was “embarrassed” by his behavior and said there was nothing to fix in person, flipped on me and accused me of being disrespectful and not doing my job via text the next day.
We squashed it, but MB is passive aggressive and now NK is parroting rude and disrespectful things MB has said.

Edit to add: I will probably delete this in a few days because I’m not sure if NP use Reddit.

NK1 is absolutely obsessed with the Roomba. NK3 is screeching high-pitched, climbing me like I’m a tree, afraid of the Roomba.

Which reminds me I need to do NK3’s fingernails

Hi! I’ve been working with the same family for a long time (multiple years). Been with this kid since he was born. Not sure if I did something wrong but I have a really hard time dealing with him. Feels like the behavior is kicking up particularly hard now over the summer. Lots of chirping (negative things about me, how he hates me, I’m stupid, etc). He has a very hard time cooperating with me although I am calm and compromising. Like he will not do anything - won’t tell me where he wants to go that morning, what he wants for lunch, if I ask him to do it, whether or not it happens is basically up to his mood. He categorically does not want to talk to resolve things (this is my primary intervention). Idk if he lacks the ability to do this? He is 5 but I know everyone is different. It seems like he only does this to me. Parents are unhelpful (obviously!). I’ve heard a few times this is a boy thing (I just find that hard to believe but maybe I’m wrong). for other reasons, I have found a different position and it’s starting in a month. Is it worth it to try and resolve some of this before I leave? Or do I just keep my head down and push forward even though I feel seriously concerned about my relationship with this child. I don’t think he’s bad, I just think he’s going through something I don’t understand. I definitely put up firm limits with him and have lost a lot of patience with him at this point. Has anyone dealt with this before?

Hello everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster. So I’m having a big dilemma. So today I took my two NKs (6 and 8, boys)the neighborhood gated off pool to play naturally as six-year-olds do he ended up throwing a temper tantrum over a pool toy, and it ended up getting so bad that he tried to run out of the gates of the pool out into the street to run home. Obviously, at that point, I decided to leave and he kept on fighting back saying that he just wanted to walk home and I ended up having to grab him by his swim shirt and wrangle him to the car, as he was screeching and flailing. I don’t play about safety when I work, and that was the most unsafe situation a child has EVER put me in. I’m pretty sure I have decided that tomorrow I’m going to put my two weeks in because of the situation and that I can’t trust that this kid won’t put me in a situation where he could get seriously hurt on my watch again, that’s such a liability issue. They’re normally pretty difficult kids but today cross the line. Am I justified in putting in my two weeks tomorrow or should I stay?

Hi there! I need advice from the Bay Area parents and Nannies I don’t want to be taken advantage of again.

I’ve been a nanny/babysitter for about 3 years now, 1 years as a live in ages 2, 5, and 7 where I was left alone with them for weeks at a time due to single mom being in the military. Managed EVERYTHING completely independently that was related to them and the household besides mom’s schedule.
Now I’m looking at a job offer in the Bay where they want me to give them my desired salary. Same ages 2, 5, 7. Id be handling some household chores (kids laundry, clean up, dishes, cooking here and there etc) with drop off and pickup here and there in my car, and the 2yr old would be with me all day. They seem like a lovely family and have had Nannie’s before they moved as well so they’re not new to this.

They want me to give them a weekly salary, on a payroll system. My question is what’s reasonable for the Bay Area in the 510 area. I’m ok with being a little cheaper, but I don’t want to be underestimating myself either. I find that I am a people pleaser and it’s hard for me to ask for what I’m worth. It’s a big job I’ve done it before when I was 19 and naive, and I’m terrified of getting stuck again. Any tips or things I should bring up in the contract? Thank you in advance!!
Edit: long hours, 48ish a week

When the infant is napping and all household tasks are complete, would NF prefer a nanny to be using the phone or reading a book?

So I started with this family recently and I'm so close to walking out. They keep the air at 76° and keep walking in and making the baby cry from separation anxiety and getting mad at me saying I'm not doing enough to make him stop even though I DID EVERYTHING!! he's also teething and barely knows me since I've been gone all week. They also keep waking him so he's gotten no sleep. He is 7mo and only allowed 30min-1hr naps. I have a list of things to get done and barely have time to eat or drink water. They've said I don't wear him out enough for naps. Mind you I did tummy time, read him book, sang to him, took him outside, fed him, and gave him a bath. I'm going crazy but need a job. They only pay $20hr which is 5 below what I charge for one kid and I have a 40 minute commute. I'm so desperate for a job and about to file for bankruptcy. Also let me know any other side gigs all do because I'm over this. Allssooo they want him to eat with a spoon and hands on his own with no help

I have been with a family for a little over a year as a 40+ hour a week nanny and house manager. It has been very hard work. After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, pots, and HEDS, I need to retire due to chronic pain. I’m in my late 40s. Both parents are physicians and I don’t want to have to disclose too much personal info. How would you word your discussion/ letter of resignation? I am dreading this because I know it is going to be so hard on them to find another nanny. It just sucks on both ends.
Thanks for your advice!

B23 months loves The Lion King and says, “Coo coo Tata, no worries!”

I got a text from my NF during the weekend. The 3 girls will be in school full time starting August 17th and mom will be taking care of them in the afternoons. Which is great, they need family time. I adore these girls. They have taught me so much and we love each other. I’m sure this won’t be goodbye forever. And I’m honestly pretty burnt out.
That gives me a month to find another job. But I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do next. And I think I desperately need to switch careers.
I’m getting my certification to be a Spanish Medical Interpreter. I don’t think I’ll be done on time. But maybe I could find one time jobs here and there until I’m ready to start.
I’m just so scared to start over! And it feels nostalgic already. But the thought of a new family and the adaptation process makes me so much more anxious.
I’ve enjoyed my years as a nanny. And I’ve loved so many kids. But I just can’t keep doing it.
Maybe this is the push that I need. And maybe it’ll be better in the long run.
I’m grateful for everything I’ve learned and experienced as a nanny. And I hope to see my girls again in the future.

This happened last year, and I've always been curious about it.

I had a simple intake interview with Adventure Nannies where we mostly went over my resume and experience. After the call, I was invited to create a candidate profile and upload my references, certifications, education, and other documents to their portal.

I hadn't even finished uploading everything yet—this was only about two days later—when I received this email.

Has anyone gotten one of these and later ended up working with them? Or once you get this email, are you essentially out of consideration indefinitely?

Hi,

Thank you again for taking the time to chat yesterday! It was a pleasure getting to know you and learning more about your experience and background. Following your agency interview, the ___ family has let us know they’ve decided to move forward with another candidate. Because we invest between 10 and 15 hours in our vetting process for each candidate, we are intentional about the paths we pursue. At this time, we will not be moving forward with the next steps. Our goal is always to support successful placements and to invest in candidates where we see strong alignment with current opportunities.

We truly appreciate your interest and the care you bring to your work. and share in the disappointment that we’re not able to move forward. While our decision is final, it is a reflection of our internal process and policies, not a reflection on you, your skills, or your ability to support families in your community.

Wishing you all the best in your search for the right long-term opportunity!

Warmly,

Ok don’t yell at me please. I’m pretty sure I’ve done something stupid.

I’ve been working for this family full-time for almost 4 years now. During this time they have only asked me to stay overnight for one night about two years ago and they did pay me an overnight fee. Our contract does not specify anything about this because it has never come up.

About two weeks ago, the mother asked me if I would be willing to take one of their children to my hometown city for a summer camp experience. I would stay with that child overnight at a hotel (sharing a king bed) for three nights. I will be dropping her off at Camp in the morning and picking her up in the evening.

In the past, the parents have been very good at compensating me for extra effort. One example of this is that I cook for parties that they throw and they give me a couple hundred dollars in return. We never discussed that extra compensation, the mom just added it to my paycheck at the end of the month.

When they asked me to bring their child to my hometown I automatically said yes because it sounded like fun! I love the little girl and I would be able to see my family while she was at camp. I just assumed that I would be paid extra, at least an overnight fee… I don’t need this trip, in reality I already have plans to go back there next month and it’s only a 3 hour train ride away.

Here’s what’s made me nervous:

Yesterday, the Dad texted me asking if I would like to accompany him and the children on a fishing trip this weekend. He added that this invitation was a friendly invitation and would not be paid. I declined the invitation as I had plans but now I’m worried that lines have been blurred and I might not be compensated outside of my regular pay when I take their child out of state next week.

Is there a way to ask the mom about her plans of additional compensation without making this super awkward? Have I just made my bed and now have to lie in it if they were never planning on paying me extra? Im willing to take this as a loss if necessary and just decline to do anything similar again. Am I just spiraling? After 4 years of being treated fairly it seems ridiculous that I’m worried now..

Hey all! I work for a great family, but the 4 year old has become so frustrating. I dread going to work. When I first started she was 2 and an an only child (mom was expecting). She was a super easy kid, smart and sweet. Ever since baby sister was born it's all downhill. It's not just baby sister that is behind the behavior issues, it's also normal milestones as they start recognizing their independence and free will.

She does not share, listen or follow directions. She is about 98% impluse and 2% rational action. She spends all day pulling toys away from her sister because she can't stand to share. It's a game to do the opposite of what I say. Go wash your hands means run away and wipe them on the couch. Don't hit means hit harder. She's smart and smart kids are the most challenging. She hits and kicks when it's nap time. She grins at me when she misbehaves. "Isn't this fun?"

The problem is that the parents' method of discipline is time outs. It's pointless. She gets up, runs away, gets toys. I restart the timer a million times and it's just a fun game for her. There is no healthy respect for authority. She doesn't care about consequences because there are none that she fears.

My question is this - do you have any creative methods of discipline that actually work and don't violate the whole (ineffective, imo) gentle parenting method of child rearing? I am so glad I am from an older generation who demanded respect from their kids.

Thanks in advance for any tricks you may want to share!

My MB just lost her great grandmother last week and now her mom is in the ER for how she’s been acting. She confessed to me that she’s worried she’ll lose her. Is there anything I can give her to help her through this?

I have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old. What are typical activities a nanny can do with the kids? I’ve had a more proactive nanny in the past, but I think my current one just kind of watches them in the house, though she’s nice. I have encouraged her to go to the park and library. What are fun activities that are reasonable to ask my nanny to do with my age kids? Is it also okay to ask my nanny to plan these out or should I figure the activities out?

I got invited last minute to be a travel nanny for this family I’ve never met. Their assistant found my Facebook post and had me send over my resume and references. The mom called and sounded nice said they are going to aspen for two weeks and their current nanny cannot make it and they need a last minute step in. They said their current nanny is actually going to be leaving and as they reside close to me this may be a permanent position once they get back home. It’s next Sunday to August 9th. Super last minute and I’m scared what if they are mean? What if they are great and I miss out on an amazing opportunity? It’s for one child 19 months old. Has anyone traveled last minute with a family before? I have been wanting a high net worth position and this might be my chance but I’m also scared I will be meeting them for the first time at the airport

Hello all, this is my first Reddit post. Please be easy on me lol. I have taken a 10 year hiatus from nannying for 10 years to go to esthetician school and attempt to grow my business during the pandemic. I reside in Florida but am originally from New York and am trying to get out of an abusive relationship where I can be independent and use my nannying skills to make a secure living. My esthetician work is no longer a survivable option sadly. I am a very young, active, healthy 40 year old with a plethora of experience. Most of my previous NP’s I would be able to contact but not 100% sure for a reference as I’m not sure a couple of the phone numbers are still accurate. I also have many other professional references. I am passionate about nannying and have 10 years under my belt as well as a lifetime of raising my much younger siblings and cousins but do not have early childhood ed experience. I did go to private school in NY and have some college education from a private catholic university in the tri-state area. I have ran my own esthetics business for 10 years and am extremely organized, value hard work, professionalism, excellent intrapersonal skills, and punctuality above all else. I was also raised by someone very high up in local nyc government affaires and high level security. I am extremely familiar with nyc and was raised to be street smart. I think my question is would I have any shot in hell at getting a live-in position or a ROTA position with my gap in experience through a high level agency anywhere in the US (NYC preferred). Making preferably$80,000-$100,000+. I truly appreciate all honest answers and have a super thick skin! I’m just scared of trying and getting met with no because of lack of current experience. Any help is wonderful! Thank you all. ✌️💕

Hi I just wanted to come on here and ask for advice on how I should go about this situation or if I’m just overthinking this.

So I work for surgeons and I’m almost always working 6-6 and they only see their kids(2) maybe about 30min until they put them to bed for bedtime. And they’re on call most weekends so either I come in or they have someone else come in if I’m not available. So I’ve been observing my NK (T3) and I’ve noticed he’s always had behavioral issues. I’m just worried that this might be something he has to go to a specialist or therapist for because I feel like now it’s going to the point where he’s just not kind at all or even wants to be kind. He’s been aggressive even after his sister was born. He’s been very aggressive towards her to the point he laughs when she’s hurt or any kid at that. He always says mean things about everyone like “I don’t want to share” “I want them to go away” “I want such and such to never come back” he always also wants to decide for everyone and always says things like “he doesn’t want to play with my toys””he or she doesn’t want water or to eat” “he or she hates playing with me” etc. He would say he wants to put his sister in the oven and says he’s going to k*ll or wants to and that’s when I immediately told his parents but they just seem to not want to take it seriously and say he probably meant it as kissing or doesn’t know what it is so I feel like maybe I’m just over reacting since they are ped surgeons. I feel like he’s very smart for his age and he knows what he says because he’s said to me the oven is hot and his sister needs to go in there to get hurt. So I know he knows what can happen. Whenever we go places he’s always being aggressive if a kid gets by him and he likes to only be on his own. I hosted a birthday party for his sister one time and he went to the living room to play by himself instead of the playroom area where everyone was celebrating and playing games. I’ve made a folder on my phone documenting things he does that bring a concern to me or a red flag he might be on the spectrum or have some type of behavioral disorder because everyday is a tantrum and he always says he doesn’t want to calm down he wants to be bad and sad. If it’s not a bribe with a matchbox car he won’t be nice or kind. Anytime I ask him to be gentle he doesn’t want to and says he likes being mean and that he doesn’t have to be kind. I just want to know how to go about this or if this is normal for a toddler his age to do? I’ve been nannying for years but never a case like this where no matter what I read up on or try to do like deep breaths or time out or cuddling or support he chooses to hit me scream in my face with no type of control because he says he doesn’t want to be nice. I know it also has a lot to do that he doesn’t see his parents so that’s why I don’t know how to go about this or talk with his parents in a very serious manner. Like what do I say to them even after already documenting everything and writing it down in their everyday journal?