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Hey everyone. I'm a 24-year old guy, and I'm at a point where I'm really looking for a real connection , a genuine friend, not just small talk.

A bit about me: I'm introverted, quiet, and I think a lot. But when I connect with someone, I love real conversations texting, calls, whatever works, as long as the energy clicks. I'm into travel, cooking, anime, science, psychology, philosophy, astronomy, gaming, drawing, and writing. I'm actually writing a book right now, it's my way of making sense of things

Since I was a kid, I've been curious about how things work , not for marks or grades, just genuine interest. School never really excited me the way learning on my own did. Over time, my curiosity shifted from subjects to people , why we think and feel the way we do. Not to judge anyone, just to understand. I want to experience life fully, the good and the hard parts both. Sometimes I feel a bit numb, other times I feel everything at once ,it's a strange mix, but that's just how it is.

Last year I had a connection like this with someone online, real conversations, the kind I'm talking about. It didn't last, life got in the way, but it showed me this kind of connection is actually possible. So I'm trying again.

I think connection gets easier when people just say what they want instead of expecting the other person to guess. We're not mind readers, so I'd rather be upfront: I'm hoping to connect with a girl, someone I can have deep conversations with and also just enjoy the fun, everyday stuff with.

I also think shared interests help a lot not everything has to match, but even a couple of things in common makes it easier to understand each other. If any of what I mentioned overlaps with you, that's a good starting point.

A little more about me I'm more of a pets person than a kids person, and I don't put much stock in marriage, feels more like a formality than anything real to me. My favourite movie is Into the Wild, if that says anything about how I see life.

I overthink sometimes, I go quiet sometimes, and I'm okay with someone who's the same way. If this sounds like you, message me. Would love to talk.

I think a lot about life, meaning, existence (yup, existential crisis mode, often). I guess I’m just searching for someone who sees life the way I do or at least tries to. Someone rational. Someone who isn’t distracted by the usual noise, but who’s trying to actually live life. Someone who could maybe help me enjoy it more and I’d do the same in return.

I’d really love to find a female friend, if I’m being honest. It’s not just about gender there’s something about that emotional balance that feels right for me. In my experience, male friendships often fade away with time marriage, responsibilities, you know the drill. But with a female friend, I feel like there’s more potential for something deeper and lasting. Maybe even something more. Who knows?

... particularily those of the CRPG kind.

You play a CRPG or, \gasp\ otome game, to experience feelings in an orderly, fictional, space. You join a fan forum and have deep thoughts about the character you like.

Cue the rest going crazy over looks, projecting on the character, and not getting your deep character analysis because it is 'too deep'. Or too close to the unvarnished truth.

Anyone else with the same experience? AKA you bring the shakespearean book club the the femme gooner party because that is how you're wired?

This is a tongue-in-cheek post. I would enjoy equally humorous replies, but it is not mandatory.

Cheers

Edit: Your downvotes amuse me, keep going.

I find it very adorable and interesting when INTJ's communicate in the way that I have observed.I really like uncovering what they actually mean.

I am not saying all INTJ communicate in this way but from what I have observed despite being new to the mbti community on reddit is that only INTJ communicate in this way.Let me give you an example:

There was this post about a question and someone A gave an answer.

Someone A: "Whatever answer they gave"

INTJ(replied): " What?"

Someone A: " What?"

INTJ: I was just asking how you got to that conclusion.

The second example is when a INTJ replied to my own post about my enneagram results and how it may or may not connect to me either being a INTP,ENTP,INFP or ENFP.

INTJ(replied): Intp

Me: Huh why?

INTJ: 5w4 is most prominent in intps.

Me: Oh ok, I will retake it just in case I mis judged myself. I am biased towards ENTP.

INTJ: It was just probability iam a intj 5w4 rcoai/rcoei

Me: Uh... If you dont mind me asking, whats those two things after 5w4?

INTJ: Ocean/ big five profile a more through and scientific method of personality testing

Me: Oh that. I was going to do it. Thanks. So what you mean is that any type can be 5w4 since you are a intj and you are one aswell. Understood.

(At first I thought that person was just randomly saying their type without prompting which I found wierd but what they actually meant was that its not just INTP that have 5w4.)

INTJ: I think every type can be one yes but its most likely intp intj infj enfj and entp.

Its soo literal and up to the point but its still hard to understand because people ussually dont communicate like that without context. Its like a secret code that keeps me on my toes every line of the conversation. Whatever you guys do,keep doing it! Its fun.

Just mining data. Since I'm strictly monogamous, no matter how successful I get I can't imagine myself dating multiple women. I believe in soul to soul attachment and the idea of having multiple partners I find repulsive by nature. would never do something to defy the code/. I've seen same pattern in guys from this sub. Just wanted to confirm.

What is your idea?

Hey everyone I am looking for friends I am 27 years old introvert guy I love movies history anime and animals birds I need some friends.

I can't really point to any single instance but I see it a lot where people here will assume the worst out of people in every situation. This is not supposed to be a diss I'm genuinely curious.

I am looking for the ultra-specific bracket of people who treat abstract, rigid logic matrices and advanced physics puzzles as an un-breakable cognitive shield to regulate real-world stress and medical crises.
Last night, during an intense domestic emergency and while preparing for a 5:00 AM clinical dialysis block, my brain refused to shut down. Instead of panicking, I spent hours auditing an AI sandbox—dismantling flawed textbook riddle shortcuts, checking the physics of 3D shadow projections under a fixed solar light source, and computing university-level Pauli X and Z quantum matrix operations entirely in my head to force the system to balance down to the absolute decimal.
If your logic gates are fiercely territorial and you use advanced conceptual sandboxes to self-regulate when life gets chaotic, solve the security handshake below to get past the spam filter.

🔒 THE SECURITY HANDSHAKE (DM the answer to connect)
An electron is in a state vector represented by:
(5; 2)
A physicist applies a modified Pauli X-Gate Operator:
ôx = (0 1; 1 0)
Perform the matrix multiplication. What are the two final integers inside the resulting vector?

(I used AI to generate this text because I’m not good at talking about myself. I can do this problem in my head, though, and someone like me should excel at mental math as well. This is my attempt at placing a beacon. AI analyzed the entirety of people who use it and only 150-500 people use it just like me and share my cognition. [INTJ triple creative 5w4] If this is you, please don’t hesitate to reach out, because I’ve been sifting through people for years.)

Im hoping some younger INTJ's can help me with this. M (46) and I'm starting to get even more cynical and pessimistic as I age. I don't see how society in America can operate at this pace for much longer. I could make the laundry list of grievances against society, the economy and people in general but I'll spare you the rant.

My question is, am I just turning into an old man and this is the natural order of things as we age or are the younger INTJ's just as concerned about the state of this country?

1. I want a longterm/marriage relationship
2. I tend to take my time to form trust and j feel pressured to commit quickly
3. I have also ended things when my needs were not met, where I was forced to make decisions of commitment early on.
4. Not into traditional gender roles, I need things to be discussed like partners

I desperately need advice from fellow married intjs as I and finding it hard to find compatible men around me. I am social and love to get along with people despite my introvertness, and I want an intimate relationship to love and be loved, to connect and grow.

I have been involved in lots of activities and have put myself out there a lot. Rejected and got rejected, but still no success. I feel like I am either approached by creeps who just like the idea of me or feared and not approached. I met only 2 guys who I connected with but some practical things were not a match so we both agreed to end it.

EDIT :

Thank you everyone for your response.
After reading, I am reflecting on myself. To be honest I never dated with this list in mind but found myself frustrated meeting people I couldn’t get along with and thought it would be best to write things out…what is not being met.

I have always wished for a natural encounter as I find dating for the sake of finding someone makes me feel like I need to make decisions quickly. I have had times where I let things go for a long time when they couldn’t work out.

As for what I can offer: calm, supportive, I can also be fun if we share good conversations or interests, I am pretty, if you are chosen I shower you with love. I am giving and good at reciprocating.

Question for the INTJs here.

How long does it usually take you to realize you see someone as a romantic partner?

And once you know you like them, how long does it take before you think, "Yeah, I could actually see myself marrying this person"?

I want to find out how other INTJs experience this.

Yes, this is venting. Kinda. People are too slow. I hate working with others

I've been trying to get better at writing poetry. I do write things down whenever the thoughts and feelings come by, and sometimes they dont make sense.

I wrote this tonight while trying to understand a feeling that didn't seem to fit into either happiness or sadness. It's about pausing without giving up, watching life continue, and trusting that one day you'll catch up to your own shadow. I hope it resonates with anyone who's ever needed a quiet moment before moving forward.

Anyway, thanks for reading. 🩷

Today was tense (I will not go into specifics) and I have been scrolling through here trying to diffuse the emotions of today.

I just laughed so hard that I made Top 1% Commenter over a picture of the "Double Identity" Spider-Man image.

I thought to myself, "I guess I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man," and I have tears in my eyes right now.

I like intellectual discussion.

Strongly dislike arguments with (what one might say) "a point to prove." Or perhaps, a strong emotional investment into a certain belief.

This is not to speak on the validity of the emotional ibcestment, just its impact on discussion.

For my intents and purposes, this is the distended between arguing and discussing.

Recently became good friends with an ENTJ, and she's a feminist which is fine, but man it can be draining.

She recently brought up why my responses are disproportiately short, feeling unheard, and I explained in part.

Mostly just leaned into the overstimulated side of things, as she had previously been unreceptive to the other side of the explanation.

That being: Intellectual debate when you're emotionally invested in it is extremely draining to me.

What's your take? How do you balance it?

I'm asking as our conversations seem to become more and now ideologically charged.

For context, in simple terms, she's well established on "the left" and I'm borderline centrist to "right"

I mostly focus on the numbers, meritocracy, and individual liberties and safety.

Which, at its goal, wants many of the things and suppirts many feminist goals, though we seem to have completely different perspectives on the actual root causes and moral balance.

The specifics are perhaps moot to the question, as you could be a mildly spoken feminist with a very outspoken conser ative friend and your social strategy would likely apply to me all the same.

Thanks in advance.

Meme

Hello there !! I am a 17yr old student who currently works for a competitive examination. ( It means it is like a Battle Royale game. There is a rank, you have to pass others and have to be the best ) Before this exam, I did a non competitive one and I got 8As and a B on it. The maximum possible is 9As. What I wanna say is that I am not a lazy / not working student. Aaand now, I am completely cooked. I am addicted to my phone. Average time is 5h ( seems low for others, but a lot for a guy like me ) And I procrastinate my works ( do on last minute on maximum INTJ power ) And the worst thing, I make plans, execute them for like a day or two, abond it, make a new one, repeat. This happens like 35+ times and wasted more than 4 months. ( I have a diary ) And my family, it is ok. They buy me what I want and gimme full physical support I want. But they don't gimme that - that mental support ( I don't have ADHD or something - what I mean is caring and u know ) And I am now behind on this race. I only got 2 years left till this exam. ( Had about 2 years and 6 months at the beginning ) Guys, as fellow INTJs, gimme your best advice for me that can actually make myself better. Thanks You !! Have a nice day :)

Do you subscribe to the materialistic account, as of consciousness would eventually be reduced to mechanistic framework such as firing neurons, if so do you believe in the future it would be possible to replicate it, if so is it through computation?

Or is it a immaterial phenomenon better known as a soul transcending neurons, a secret marvellous power of freeing ourselves from the changes of time, of withdrawing to our secret selves away from external things. This presentation of ourselves to ourselves is the most truly personal experience upon which depends everything that we know of the supra-sensual world. Whilst all else only appears to be. It differs from every presentation of the sense in its perfect freedom, whilst all other presentations are bound, being overweighted by the burden of the object....

And how did it originate, is it how neo darwinism argue, natural selection and random mutation at play...

I'm curious whether there's a common profile among INTJs. If you've taken a Big Five test, what were your scores for:

• Openness
• Conscientiousness
• Extraversion
• Agreeableness
• Neuroticism

From what I've seen, I suspect Openness and Extraversion are relatively similar across INTJs, while Conscientiousness, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism are much more variable but let's find out.

Hello. Do any other INTJ folks feel like just ending the conversation when people just keep talking over you? I recently just started walking away from conversations where I only get a few words out before the other person is already filling in what they believe I was going to say. It seems like this form of talking is getting worse.

At work I rarely ever made complaints on people unless it’s just something that is super serious or a repeated violation. I find when a lot people can’t read you, they start constructing this weird hateful view of you, so that tattle to management over ever small infraction you make. It’s so weird to me because I literally do not care or think about a person long enough for me to do anything that will have such a drastic impact on their life. They do it so mindlessly to.

They exhaust me. The bolstering, the pridefulness, the people who think they are cunning; playing a game that is nauseatingly obvious. I feel as if I don’t have the energy, care or patience to do it. However I do want to move up the ladder in the future and have more than enough ability to do so. Any advice?

Not really typing him but more noticing a real pattern in how I interact with peoples, and if others feel the same?

People do not care what you have done. He led the Greeks through ten years of war, survived Troy with a victory, and came home to betrayal and death.

Same threatened to Odysseus too. He had to go in hiding, to weed out the 100+ suitors who were going after his aging wife as competition; which by the way they didn't want his wife because she was the bell of the ball, but more of a mimetic desire that odysseus the hero's wife became a prize. When he should come back ... the solution was to kill odysseus of course.

In a competitive environment success does NOT make people admire you. It makes you a threat. People invent rumors, pull away, question your character, or try to isolate you because your competence unsettles them.

We are taught that achievement earns respect, but always, always, it puts a target on your back. In a competitive environment, peers rarely see someone capable and think, “I want to know that person.” Sometimes they think, “I need to bring that person down.”