Meme

Hello. Do any other INTJ folks feel like just ending the conversation when people just keep talking over you? I recently just started walking away from conversations where I only get a few words out before the other person is already filling in what they believe I was going to say. It seems like this form of talking is getting worse.

At work I rarely ever made complaints on people unless it’s just something that is super serious or a repeated violation. I find when a lot people can’t read you, they start constructing this weird hateful view of you, so that tattle to management over ever small infraction you make. It’s so weird to me because I literally do not care or think about a person long enough for me to do anything that will have such a drastic impact on their life. They do it so mindlessly to.

I can't really point to any single instance but I see it a lot where people here will assume the worst out of people in every situation. This is not supposed to be a diss I'm genuinely curious.

Yes, this is venting. Kinda. People are too slow. I hate working with others

They exhaust me. The bolstering, the pridefulness, the people who think they are cunning; playing a game that is nauseatingly obvious. I feel as if I don’t have the energy, care or patience to do it. However I do want to move up the ladder in the future and have more than enough ability to do so. Any advice?

I like intellectual discussion.

Strongly dislike arguments with (what one might say) "a point to prove." Or perhaps, a strong emotional investment into a certain belief.

This is not to speak on the validity of the emotional ibcestment, just its impact on discussion.

For my intents and purposes, this is the distended between arguing and discussing.

Recently became good friends with an ENTJ, and she's a feminist which is fine, but man it can be draining.

She recently brought up why my responses are disproportiately short, feeling unheard, and I explained in part.

Mostly just leaned into the overstimulated side of things, as she had previously been unreceptive to the other side of the explanation.

That being: Intellectual debate when you're emotionally invested in it is extremely draining to me.

What's your take? How do you balance it?

I'm asking as our conversations seem to become more and now ideologically charged.

For context, in simple terms, she's well established on "the left" and I'm borderline centrist to "right"

I mostly focus on the numbers, meritocracy, and individual liberties and safety.

Which, at its goal, wants many of the things and suppirts many feminist goals, though we seem to have completely different perspectives on the actual root causes and moral balance.

The specifics are perhaps moot to the question, as you could be a mildly spoken feminist with a very outspoken conser ative friend and your social strategy would likely apply to me all the same.

Thanks in advance.

Just mining data. Since I'm strictly monogamous, no matter how successful I get I can't imagine myself dating multiple women. I believe in soul to soul attachment and the idea of having multiple partners I find repulsive by nature. would never do something to defy the code/. I've seen same pattern in guys from this sub. Just wanted to confirm.

What is your idea?

PSA: Most people would rather make their own mistakes than listen to warnings. They want hope over your harsh realities, and will even resent you for pointing it out.

So don’t waste your energy trying to tell them, let alone convince them. Give advice only when they ask for it. Let people learn on their own.

Edit: Some comments tempted me to explain myself, but I'll take my own advice and leave it at that.

Hey everyone I am looking for friends I am 27 years old introvert guy I love movies history anime and animals birds I need some friends.

Hello there !! I am a 17yr old student who currently works for a competitive examination. ( It means it is like a Battle Royale game. There is a rank, you have to pass others and have to be the best ) Before this exam, I did a non competitive one and I got 8As and a B on it. The maximum possible is 9As. What I wanna say is that I am not a lazy / not working student. Aaand now, I am completely cooked. I am addicted to my phone. Average time is 5h ( seems low for others, but a lot for a guy like me ) And I procrastinate my works ( do on last minute on maximum INTJ power ) And the worst thing, I make plans, execute them for like a day or two, abond it, make a new one, repeat. This happens like 35+ times and wasted more than 4 months. ( I have a diary ) And my family, it is ok. They buy me what I want and gimme full physical support I want. But they don't gimme that - that mental support ( I don't have ADHD or something - what I mean is caring and u know ) And I am now behind on this race. I only got 2 years left till this exam. ( Had about 2 years and 6 months at the beginning ) Guys, as fellow INTJs, gimme your best advice for me that can actually make myself better. Thanks You !! Have a nice day :)

Im hoping some younger INTJ's can help me with this. M (46) and I'm starting to get even more cynical and pessimistic as I age. I don't see how society in America can operate at this pace for much longer. I could make the laundry list of grievances against society, the economy and people in general but I'll spare you the rant.

My question is, am I just turning into an old man and this is the natural order of things as we age or are the younger INTJ's just as concerned about the state of this country?

Do you subscribe to the materialistic account, as of consciousness would eventually be reduced to mechanistic framework such as firing neurons, if so do you believe in the future it would be possible to replicate it, if so is it through computation?

Or is it a immaterial phenomenon better known as a soul transcending neurons, a secret marvellous power of freeing ourselves from the changes of time, of withdrawing to our secret selves away from external things. This presentation of ourselves to ourselves is the most truly personal experience upon which depends everything that we know of the supra-sensual world. Whilst all else only appears to be. It differs from every presentation of the sense in its perfect freedom, whilst all other presentations are bound, being overweighted by the burden of the object....

And how did it originate, is it how neo darwinism argue, natural selection and random mutation at play...

I've been trying to get better at writing poetry. I do write things down whenever the thoughts and feelings come by, and sometimes they dont make sense.

I wrote this tonight while trying to understand a feeling that didn't seem to fit into either happiness or sadness. It's about pausing without giving up, watching life continue, and trusting that one day you'll catch up to your own shadow. I hope it resonates with anyone who's ever needed a quiet moment before moving forward.

Anyway, thanks for reading. 🩷

1. I want a longterm/marriage relationship
2. I tend to take my time to form trust and j feel pressured to commit quickly
3. I have also ended things when my needs were not met, where I was forced to make decisions of commitment early on.
4. Not into traditional gender roles, I need things to be discussed like partners

I desperately need advice from fellow married intjs as I and finding it hard to find compatible men around me. I am social and love to get along with people despite my introvertness, and I want an intimate relationship to love and be loved, to connect and grow.

I have been involved in lots of activities and have put myself out there a lot. Rejected and got rejected, but still no success. I feel like I am either approached by creeps who just like the idea of me or feared and not approached. I met only 2 guys who I connected with but some practical things were not a match so we both agreed to end it.

EDIT :

Thank you everyone for your response.
After reading, I am reflecting on myself. To be honest I never dated with this list in mind but found myself frustrated meeting people I couldn’t get along with and thought it would be best to write things out…what is not being met.

I have always wished for a natural encounter as I find dating for the sake of finding someone makes me feel like I need to make decisions quickly. I have had times where I let things go for a long time when they couldn’t work out.

As for what I can offer: calm, supportive, I can also be fun if we share good conversations or interests, I am pretty, if you are chosen I shower you with love. I am giving and good at reciprocating.

Today was tense (I will not go into specifics) and I have been scrolling through here trying to diffuse the emotions of today.

I just laughed so hard that I made Top 1% Commenter over a picture of the "Double Identity" Spider-Man image.

I thought to myself, "I guess I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man," and I have tears in my eyes right now.

... particularily those of the CRPG kind.

You play a CRPG or, \gasp\ otome game, to experience feelings in an orderly, fictional, space. You join a fan forum and have deep thoughts about the character you like.

Cue the rest going crazy over looks, projecting on the character, and not getting your deep character analysis because it is 'too deep'. Or too close to the unvarnished truth.

Anyone else with the same experience? AKA you bring the shakespearean book club the the femme gooner party because that is how you're wired?

This is a tongue-in-cheek post. I would enjoy equally humorous replies, but it is not mandatory.

Cheers

Edit: Your downvotes amuse me, keep going.

I'm curious whether there's a common profile among INTJs. If you've taken a Big Five test, what were your scores for:

• Openness
• Conscientiousness
• Extraversion
• Agreeableness
• Neuroticism

From what I've seen, I suspect Openness and Extraversion are relatively similar across INTJs, while Conscientiousness, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism are much more variable but let's find out.

Pretty sure most of us here have seen and can foresee the inevitable dystopia we'll experience. How unfortunate. This post is basically just to share, and perhaps discuss how are you guys dealing with the things going on with the world and its people.

- I'm always being judged as cold but always considered the best in the team. I don't know but I couldn't get away with folks that are so sensitive even on the smallest things. For so long, I've been detaching the feelings as there's no point in sharing this with the majority. You'll only look like a fool to them anyway as we think differently than most of them.

- I don't mind being called clumsy. The physical world is a curse to me. It's always fun to delve deep to the subjective world of our thoughts. Because of that, there are some basic physical routines you fail to accomplish as you're mentally preoccupied. And when you deal with the people, they tend to either get intimidated, like "what did I do?". When you confront them about it, they won't admit it anyway. What a pain to deal with. Then you'll go back to your man cave of thoughts and you either analyze it or just let it be. I'm at a point that I'll just have to not control what I can't control as it'll just be my own destruction. The never ending frustration I observe oh boy.

- In my country, our government is full of greed. So many things could have improved it. Could have competed against other countries on so many things. Sadly won't be able to see its fullest potential. It makes me think, that the demise of the world is caused by ourselves. Some just try to live, some just try to improve things, and then these people who are so fixated with the superficial things that they've forgotten what their purpose is and drag others down with them. And here I am, frustrated and just observing from afar once again. Crab mentality sucks.

- Just like any of you, my social circle is small. I'm confident to say though, I can have a bigger one. If only there are things that I'm not so bothered about such as how they think, how they react, and how they approach things. I don't mind being seen as intimidating and evil. You can't please anyone. It's tiring. And meeting new people, you have to do the same script of self-introduction and "getting to know each other" phase then end up just detaching that person because they're just not worth it.

- I've been into conspiracy theories as well. At this point, it's been a double edged sword to me. So many things we didn't know and yet the more you obtained information, the more hurtful it has become for the inevitable dystopia of the world. Just broadens your perspective. Even if we tell the normies about it, they'll call us crazies and such. Whatever. Feel free to become sheep. We've been in this kind of situation throughout the centuries. They have succeeded, the elites. What's frustrating is, it's beyond our control. We know what's gonna happen, yet there's nothing we can do about it.

Not really typing him but more noticing a real pattern in how I interact with peoples, and if others feel the same?

People do not care what you have done. He led the Greeks through ten years of war, survived Troy with a victory, and came home to betrayal and death.

Same threatened to Odysseus too. He had to go in hiding, to weed out the 100+ suitors who were going after his aging wife as competition; which by the way they didn't want his wife because she was the bell of the ball, but more of a mimetic desire that odysseus the hero's wife became a prize. When he should come back ... the solution was to kill odysseus of course.

In a competitive environment success does NOT make people admire you. It makes you a threat. People invent rumors, pull away, question your character, or try to isolate you because your competence unsettles them.

We are taught that achievement earns respect, but always, always, it puts a target on your back. In a competitive environment, peers rarely see someone capable and think, “I want to know that person.” Sometimes they think, “I need to bring that person down.”

People can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves.

I've spent most of my life keeping to myself and I know a lot of people here can probably relate so I won't get into that. Over the years I've become very clear about what I want from a partner and I've realised that mental stimulation matters to me more than almost anything else. Once that's missing I lose interest very quickly. I've mostly dated older men because I thought maturity would solve that problem and in some ways it did. There were fewer games, more accountability and a stronger sense of self. What it didn't solve was something I didn't really have words for at the time.

The more people I meet the more I feel that most of us don't actually try to understand each other. We form an impression, decide we've figured someone out and then interact with that version of them instead of the person who's actually there. As a neurodivergent INTJ woman I know that being independent, intense and direct makes people read me a certain way, and my appearance doesn't exactly help because it often leads people to assume I'm far more superficial than I really am.

I genuinely thought meeting people from different countries would expose me to a different mindset but honestly it hasn't. I've met intelligent men with impressive careers and interesting lives, yet I kept coming away with the same feeling. Intelligence and understanding aren't the same thing. One is the ability to analyse, the other is the willingness to question your own assumptions about someone. Lately I've started wondering if that's actually the rarest quality to find, not intelligence itself but the ability to look beyond the first impression and stay curious long enough to discover who's really in front of you.

Over the past year I’ve worked through most areas of my life I used to be unhappy with — nutrition, fitness, finances, discipline, daily structure. My mindset is basically: if something bothers me, I treat it as a solvable problem, build structure for it, and solving it actually feels satisfying rather than stressful. For things I genuinely can’t control (someone dying, someone else’s problems), I just accept them, feel the emotions, and move on — that doesn’t count as a “bad phase” for me, just a hard event.