I don't even know where to begin but my boyfriend is an INTJ. It feels like he is bored of me all the time but it’s more because of my anxiety and less because he is actually bored of me. He is sooo objective and practical but also weird and emotionally expressive.

I mean he's not affecting me in a bad way, I would say my baseline happiness has increased after I met him and I feel a lot lighter than before I met him. He is sooo cute and low-key introverted and I can't get my mind off of him ugh. Help. I don't know how I manage to get with INTJs all the time, I mean, this man? He was behaving all extroverted before just to impress me.

I wanna know what you think. XOXO

Although my boyfriend is an ISTJ and I’m an ENFP, maybe we’re more compatible than people would expect🤔

I used to think I was attracted to chaos, but as I’ve matured, I’ve realized I actually want stability. Having a grounded partner doesn’t make me feel trapped. It actually gives me the freedom to explore and be myself✨✨

Ironically, the more grounded and secure I feel, the freer I become😌

I’ve also noticed that being with someone who naturally uses Te has helped me develop my own. He doesn’t try to change me, but I learn a lot from the way he approaches life💪🏻

Even our conversations reflect this!! I’m usually the one throwing out random ideas or weird scenarios, and somehow he turns them into memes and inside jokes we laugh about for weeks🤣🤣 Maybe that’s why we work so well!! I bring the ideas, and he brings them to life..!!😁

This relationship also made me realize how limiting stereotypes can be. Looking for patterns and understanding them is one thing, if I had judged him based on MBTI or a bad experience with someone else, I probably would’ve missed out on an amazing relationship!!✨✨

A bad experience with one person doesn’t mean everyone with that personality type will be the same. People are individuals first🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I realised most of my favourite characters are ENFP males. Where do I find a manic pixie dream boy? Do any of you all exist because it feels like ENFPs are probably 90% female, right? Where might these unicorns be hiding, as clearly I need an ENFP friend for random adventures and flirting. Ahoy!

Hello ENFPs!

Just curious to find out who we match with best for long term, healthy relationships?

I have 3 close friends who are INFJ, ESTP and ENFJ.

I have recently dated INTP, ESTP, ENTJ, ISFJ and none of them have worked out.

Id love to know what MBTI your partner is and what are the good/bad sides to your match :)

Hi! Do any other enfp’s out there genuinely feel joy and satisfaction with themselves? Mentally, do you feel like you have understood yourself and are capable of experiencing certain situations and still be okay and happy with who you are?

Hi everyone,

I’m an ENFP (at least that’s how I’ve always identified), and lately I’ve been struggling with something that I can’t seem to figure out. I’m curious if anyone recognizes this or has gone through something similar.

The past few months have been incredibly busy for me. I was finishing my internship, writing my thesis, pushing myself pretty hard academically, and trying to perform at a high level. Everything has now ended almost at the same time, including the person I was dating, and I currently feel a bit emotionally… flat or disconnected. It’s hard to tell whether that’s exhaustion, grief, or something else.

During those months I was dating someone who (I think) is either an ISTP or ISFJ. She was kind, emotionally safe, intelligent, attractive, and we genuinely enjoyed spending time together. We made a good team, and I honestly wanted to fall in love with her.
The problem is… I never really did.

I cared about her, I enjoyed being with her, and there were definitely moments of attraction. But I kept waiting for this deeper feeling to grow, and after about three months I was still thinking, “I wish I felt more.”
Eventually we ended things because it didn’t feel fair to keep hoping something would suddenly appear and she started to become insecure about it.

Now I’m grieving in a strange way. I don’t necessarily miss her intensely; I mostly miss the companionship, the routines, the conversations, and what we could have become. That makes me question myself. Am I expecting a feeling that doesn’t exist? Did I walk away too soon? Or was I actually listening to something important?

What makes this even more confusing is that before her, I had very strong feelings for someone else (an INFP). Ironically, that situation was almost the opposite.
Things actually started out pretty consistent between us, but towards the end everything became vague and emotionally confusing. We reconnected a few times afterwards, and every time there was still a strong connection, but it always remained unclear and never really went anywhere. That experience stayed with me for a long time, and I sometimes wonder whether my brain accidentally started associating uncertainty and longing with love.

Another thing I’ve noticed recently is that I seem to have become hyper-aware of my own emotions.
Whenever I feel anything, I immediately step outside of the experience and start analyzing it:
“Oh, I’m feeling this.”
“What does this mean?”
“Is this enough?”
“Is this real?”
Instead of simply experiencing my emotions, I constantly monitor them. It’s exhausting, and it almost makes me feel disconnected from myself.
I’ve also realized that I struggle to distinguish between:
what I genuinely want,
what I think I should want,
and what simply fits the image or identity I have of myself.
For example, instead of noticing, “Do I actually feel like doing this today?” I often think, “Well, I’m someone who enjoys this, so I guess I should do it.” It’s like I know my preferences intellectually, but I sometimes lose touch with what I actually need in the moment.
It feels like I’m running into both old patterns and completely new ones at the same time. I’m trying to become more in touch with myself, but sometimes I feel like the more I analyze my feelings, the less I can actually hear them.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Especially if you’re an ENFP:
Have you ever struggled to know whether you genuinely liked someone, or whether you were waiting for a feeling that never came?
Have you experienced becoming overly self-aware of your emotions?
How did you learn to trust your feelings again instead of constantly analyzing them?
How do you distinguish between what you truly want in the moment versus what simply fits your idea of who you are?
And if you’ve ever experienced something similar, what helped you reconnect with yourself?
I’m not really looking for people to tell me whether I made the “right” decision. I’m much more interested in hearing how other people have experienced/ handled this and whether they recognize these patterns.
Thanks for reading :)

Am I the only one who has a genuine fear of being alone? Like having no one to reach out to when you need help or want to hang out?

And also like you can't just bear the thought of being disliked AT ALL.

Idk it's just been bothering me for a while and I wonder if other ENFPs feels this too 😭😭

I'm a cashier at Walmart, I've got a few customers that're regulars, they actually look for me when checking out. Anything from just being nice to them, to knowing I'll weigh their bags if they say they can't lift above a certain amount. One guy says he knows he won't get his bread crushed if he comes to me. I had a few people today pointing out that I seemed sad, I thought I was masking a bit better than that, but I guess that's the one thing I can't hide? My father passed in 2014 and his birthday was yesterday, honestly, the whole month of July is usually difficult. July was his antics for 4th of July, we'd go camping in the desert and ride dirt bikes, and his birthday.... because August was back to school. Anyone else just an open book when it comes to emotions? Are we that easy to read?

First post on the forum... I'm usually a lurker... so I hope this post is ok.

ENFP who lost her INFJ out of nowhere in the past few weeks.... He sent a song... and was gone. He's left before and I've gone after him, but this time... I just can't. So I'm slowly breaking apart and it's now just starting to hit me....

For any of my ENFP ladies who lost someone like this... what did you do to stop depression from setting in because it is. Thanks.

Don't know if this is an ENFP thing or a neurodivergent thing or a little of Column A and Column B.

Do you, upon first meeting someone, say at a doctor's office or your Uber or taxi driver, do you try so painfully hard to be "normal" in their eyes that you make yourself almost devoid of character? In any other situation, you might throw caution to the wind, but to avoid scaring the "respectable" people away, you just push it all down, down, down, becoming as it were a blank wall?

Well, do you?

Not sure if this is a me thing or an ENFP thing. I dont know any other ENFPs irl but everyone calls me weird for doing this.

When something really upsets me, I have to cry it out and be miserable until Im just not anymore. This can take anywhere between a few hours and a few days but once I hit a point of there not being any more emotion to get out of me, Im just over the situation.

I thought this was a pretty normal/healthy way to express my feelings but a lot of people disagree saying I just need to suck it up or pretend like Im okay but doing that just exhausts me into a depression and causes me to ruminate on the situation instead. I also get called "emotional" and "dramatic" a LOT for being like this.

Any other ENFPs manage their emotions this way?

So, just like the title says, I would like to know other people experiences.

PS: Hope everyone still suffering to get better and please be strong ♡

When I was younger, I kept a huge circle of friends by always being the problem solver friend. I would happily inconvenience myself and put my loved ones above me if it meant I can have all these people in my life.

Now that I've healed some wounds and stopped running away from certain things, I still love people but I operate completely different. I now have a very small circle of friends and never overextend myself, but here's the thing.

It's happened multiple times now where I meet new people and we hit it off right away, but then I notice them hesitate and I completely pull away. Is this relatable to anyone and is it a bad trait to have?

For example, if we're mid-text conversation and the other person just stops replying, I don't ever double text. I'll wait for them to start things back up even if it takes weeks (or months). Sometimes that means we never talk again, even if we had good chemistry.

I have this thing now where I hate feeling like I'm chasing someone or begging them to be in my life, so I just refuse to. Is this something I should correct? I don't want to lose out on potential connections over being petty.

I'm an INFJ and I believe my friend is an ENFP. He has all the quirks, high energy, super smart, always busy doing various projects. He did the 16 personality testing (i think it is flawed, btw) and got ENTJ which he feels like that is more him. ENFP is often described as disorganized, distracted, and can't get things done, so he feels like he doesn't resonate with it. He does have a workaholic side to him and he excels in achieving whatever he sets his mind to. He did say he was not that way growing up and kind of ADHD so he worked hard to improve himself. However, i think you can still be an ENFP and achieve all that. I feel in his "essence" he's an ENFP through and through. Just wondering what you guys think of your own type. Do you think my assessment is far off? My friend also brings out creativity and quirkiness in me whenever we hang out. I don't think any other type could really do that. We have good conversations with serious and dumb topics lol

Im an enfpt but lately i feel like i dont wanna talk to anyone and juat be alone and recharge and have fun on my own but i feel like im mean if i dont respind to people and somethinga wrong with me for wanting peace ad quiet and just chill.

So im wondering what would happen if i just continue ig forcing myself to interact with others (over the necessity bar)

Thanks guys!!

Any other ENFPs who tested as ENFJ for years, and then all of a sudden started testing as ENFP?

Let me explain. I’m autistic and have ADHD, and for years I felt like I had been masking who I really was. Since my divorce, I’ve gradually become more and more myself. I’ve started accepting my limits and flaws, and I’ve become much better at reinforcing my boundaries. Now I consistently test as an ENFP.

Has anyone else experienced a shift in their MBTI type?
Just curious. 🧐

I (Enfp, F) unfortunately have feelings for my friend (Intj, F).

I don’t even know how this happened. I had swore she is a platonic best friend. Then somehow on some random day, I started having feelings for her and dreams after dreams of me always searching for her in every scenario my brain made up when I was sleeping. The feelings are deepening that I am starting to lose my spontaneity and carefree personality around her, because I’m starting to feel anxious and self-conscious and also worrying that anything I do or say or how I exist is stupid and would push her away from me. Yet the irony is I end up self-sabotaging and being avoidant which pushes our dynamic further apart, and I hate this curse I am put through, because she means a lot to me and I don’t want to lose our friendship. Life has been difficult for me, so the very few deep friendships I have mean the world to me, since aside from my sister, I don’t have any other family to turn to.

Okay, I kinda wanna ramble about my dreams. In every dream, I would attend to some random event and then go searching for her after. My subconscious obviously sees her as some sort of grounding presence to return to.

I had one dream where I was stuck in some liminal office space for hours but my only thought was to find her as soon as I navigate out of that space. In that dream, I was talking to a very old friend from my primary school days that I don’t talk to anymore. He seemed to be not aware that time has passed and we are all different people now. I think no one was aware except me. He asked me questions indirectly to figure my feelings because he wanted to confess. I just told him that actually I have someone else in mind and she’s (description of my intj friend). I just interpret it as me still feeling like I cannot answer to what life expects of me, but yearning for something else. I eventually escaped the liminal space and found her in the dream. My primary school guy friend oddly mirrored her real-life behaviours by indirectly wanting to walk back with me to spend more time with me, but I rejected it because it wasn’t her. He eventually understood and left me the freedom of choice but I just caught up to her on the street and said hello. I didn’t tell her anything else. All I was happy for was that I found her still being characteristically her in her cadence of speech and her general demeanour.

In one of my latest dream, me and my sister were trapped in this place because of some post-apocalyptic gang hunt, and my intj friend somehow showed up next to us. We were all lost but I felt like I had shelter regardless of the situation. In every dream and every situation, I felt like I was one step away from expressing how I feel but I kept it to myself and just really took in the moment because I wanted to preserve every interaction so badly. In one dream, she hugged me from behind and didn’t want me to leave. I think that even though she doesn’t feel the same way as I do, I do truly have an internal wish that she would always cherish my company platonically. Life has also been busier than it used to be and made us more distant than we used to be, but I do miss the time when she asked me to stay with her because she moved to a new place and would prefer company. I sadly didn’t end up staying over because I was stressed with my own stuff and preferred to stay in my own home. But sometimes I keep thinking about it and wonder if that could be the last time we would ever have such closeness and things will just drift apart from here.

Anyway, that’s enough of me rambling.
I do wonder if it’s an amalgamation of feelings happening here. 1) I am mourning a friendship because I’m anticipating for the worst to happen somehow and I miss her greatly because of how busy life has been. 2) I started figuring I do like her and it makes me hate myself for it because I do think that’s affecting my behaviour and ruining things by me being emotionally guarded. She’s a great person, but the tragedy is that in this life I can never like her because it will just make me yearn endlessly in misery for something that will never be. I don’t want to stop being friends with her either. And I also don’t want to share my feelings with her as some catharsis because it will put her in an awkward position.

So I guess just help me get over her by telling me she’s better off as a platonic found-family sister. Be silly and creative with it.

Hello ENFPs,

We've all taken the 16 personalities test, with typical questions like "are you organized or spontaneous" on a 1-5 scale.

I'm wondering if it would make sense to add questions that are more type-specific, to actually pin down the type instead of just measuring general traits.

For an ENFP, one example could be that we have a tendency to fall in love with the idealized potential version of someone. If someone answered 4-5 out of 5 on that, it would then strengthen the ENFP hypothesis.

Another one could be "you have a graveyard of unfinished projects".

Curious what you think: would questions like these help, and what would you actually add to catch an ENFP?

Read a post here that really got to me.

Everything he said about being an ENFP who's lonely I feel it too, most days. And judging by the comments, so does half this thread.

But it got me thinking if two lonely ENFPs found each other, wouldn't that just... solve it? At least a little?

So why aren't we actually trying that here?

I keep seeing people in this sub say they've lost hope.

So why not just try it on reddit see what happens. It might not work out.

But for someone who's given up on the idea entirely, even a small shot at something is worth it.

Even if 2 people are no more alone i feel this post will be successful.

Iam 21M enfp BTW.✌️

I’m starting a research internship at my university having just graduated.

It’s me and a guy and two lecturers. I’m nervous. It’s paid so that’s cool. And I do like my uni campus

My anxiety/ocd has also been at me being like “the analytical thinking is gonna turn u into an entp”. But then I remember I’ve done year 1 and year 2 and year 3 of psychology and it’s fine and so I’m being irrational and overthinking. I don’t want my anxiety to ruin my day. I just want to experience it and hopefully enjoy it.

I’m trying to remember that using analytical thinking is just a skill. Like breaking news: psychology graduate uses psychology skills at psychology internship. And remembering Anne of Green Gables in the book is able to study and analyse and still enjoy imagination and appreciation and comforts. She’s my favourite character ever I love this book

I’m also just anxious about the day in general, even though the people are really nice. And the campus is gonna feel weird because it will be empty when it’s normally filled with people. Maybe I could bring comfort items or notes does anyone have any ideas or general tips or reassurance or encouragement? Xx

I heard there like 9 types of enfp, how do I know mine?

It’s wild how much my personality shifts. When I’m at home or with a close friend (but only if I'm super comfortable with them), I'm super outgoing and can talk to anyone. But the second I'm on my own around people, my confidence vanishes. I get stuck in my head, overthinking every single word instead of just being myself.

Every time I take a personality test, I get ENFP, but I feel way more introverted. I just don't get why I can't act the way I do at home. I really wish I could be myself around others, and I worry I won't be able to make real connections because of this. Seeing my friend talk to people so easily and just be herself makes it harder, because the moment I have to talk to someone, my whole personality changes. Does this happen to any of you guys too?