I'm an ENFJ-T, and lately I've been questioning what I actually want to do with my life. I start college in a month and I’m so cooked.

I've realized that I only seem to feel truly fulfilled when I'm working toward something that has a large-scale impact. It's hard to explain, but I don't just want a stable job or a comfortable life. I want to build something meaningful or something important- I want it to impact millions. Recognition isn't the goal itself, but it feels validating when it's tied to making a real difference.

The problem is that this mindset makes choosing a career incredibly difficult. Every time I look at a profession, I end up asking myself, "Is this big enough?"
Right now I'm interested in healthcare, public health, science, and policy. I love leading, mentoring, solving complex problems, etc. At the same time, I enjoy research and thinking deeply about difficult questions. I thought about surgery but idk.
I'm curious if any other ENFJs have felt this way.
What career did you end up choosing?
Do you think ENFJs naturally need a mission larger than themselves, or is this just a personality trap?
Are there professions where you've found both purpose and the ability to create large-scale impact?
How did you separate genuine passion from the desire to do something "important"?
I'd especially love to hear from older ENFJs who have already gone through this process. I feel like I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to choose the "right" path, and I'd appreciate any perspective.

He randomly just swooped into New York and made everything better at a historically rapid rate.

All while being extremely personable and impossible not to like: those who seek to disparage him easily look like villains because he is so good at his job and so in touch with the people’s needs.

He is the embodiment of the ENFJ’s highest potential, I think.

Do you guys resonate with him as an ENFJ?

By the way, my take on the observable cognitive functions he might be using:

1. Fe-dom: this is quite self-evident for me personally! Lol.
   
2. Ni-aux: he is very much aligned with and publicly identifies as democratic socialist and everything he does in office stems consistently from it.

Some of his policies strongly suggest Si-aux as they are practical, based on daily life, and the basic concerns of New Yorkers long-held unaddressed. And also his family’s history, including his wife’s, also strongly suggest a very personal reason for running.

But the way he performs his job and the direction it takes is completely radical in that it doesn’t appeal to “what has always worked” (Si’s alley) but instead as to what “could work” based on political ideology (Ni’s alley)

1. Se-tertiary: very surface-level read of mine, but he seems completely in the moment when with people. You could drag him to the pool, to daycare, and all of him is there. He has incredible social stamina and incredible presence. The superpower of Fe-Se.

2. Ti-inferior: I don’t have much data on this, but his bold approach towards proclaiming that he will arrest Netanyahu but being transparent that his team is yet to fully confirm with existing laws whether that is authorized screams Ti to me.

Anyway, thanks for reading all that! Mamdani and ENFJs are just so deeply fascinating to me!!!

There's a stereotype that ENFJs like most people. I find the sociabillity of ENFJs fascinating. So I have two questions :

1. Do you as an ENFJ like most people or does it take a special kind of person to gain your favor ?

2. What seperates likable and lovable people to you ? What takes someone from being pleasant to being a special experience for you ?

Noticing that colors work to increase my dopamine levels, I consider it better to set my screen to black and white to avoid this unpleasant sensory stimulation.

I do the same on my phone.

Obviously, if I have to watch a movie / a series, I switch the colors back to normal.

What is your opinion?

My experiences:
being with someone doesn't seem that complicated anymore. Is this what true harmony is?
I've met the 3rd ENFJ that I know and got close to in my life. How easy it makes life be, when there is such harmony.

I (F, ENFP) had an ENFJ (F) flatmate and it was the easiest coexistence I had with someone. Easiest I had felt with their goldenheart. The more we shared each other our heartfeltedness towards life, more we got excited, talking and laughing frantically. There was comfort knowing it was true, they were true, with all their and mine shortcomings, they were not negative. It was as easy as loving the sun, thankful for it's warmth and being understanding when it's too bright or blinding. It was appreciating nature, with all it's beauty that brings a soul to the verge of tears.

Now in a romantic relationship with an ENFJ (M). Spending life as two in union, does not seem that complicated, nor frightening. Moreso, it is the safest I have felt. So, it is possible to feel safe in this life that is unpredictable, with all it's possible sadness and hardships? Union now feels safe, and I'm nomore the person who wants to be the lonewolf, independent and 'I do what I have willed'; their will is now mine, and mine was their's from the start. Harmony doesnt push. It just makes be. It makes be beautiful.

I have a strong feeling one of my friends is an ENFJ because her Fe seems really strong. I've spent a lot of time reading about ENFJs and a lot of it reminds me of her. The only thing that makes me doubt it is that she's pretty introverted and also seems to use Ti quite a bit.

Part of me wonders if it's because of everything she's been through. I think, in the past, she would've been a much more stereotypical ENFJ (maybe even a 1w2), but after experiencing a lot of trauma, it feels like she's started suppressing her Fe as a way to protect herself.

She's been trying to be more distant, selfish and emotionally detached so she doesn't get hurt as easily. Even so, I don't think she's actually stopped using Fe it just feels buried under a lot of defense mechanisms.

Lately she's been working really hard on healing and accepting herself instead of trying to become someone she's isn't

Like I'm just thinking like how weird it is that Western countries think that there's like an afterlife and that there's like a goal to life. Cuz like when you're like immortal what are you working towards? Like you don't have to work towards anything cuz you're just going to exist forever and can just get it done whenever you know?

I am INTJ Male 32, and my mother is 62. As ENFJ what are the ways that I can connect with her in a better way ? . What do ENFJs actually enjoy.

Not small talk, not venting. Just good conversation about things that matter.

Some things I think about: where society is headed, the tension between individual and collective, what makes a life feel worthwhile, how much the world is changing and whether that's good. Also happy to go down random rabbit holes.

I like people who have thought about things and have actual perspectives, even if they're still evolving. Curiosity > certainty.

Comment or DM if any of this sounds like your kind of conversation. Always up for meeting people who are genuinely engaged with the world.

Can you tell when 2 people secretly like each other but are trying to hide it?

How would you know?
How would you secretly try to find out if they do?

Given that many enfjs are talking about being shy children and withdrawn, which doesn't align with the social butterfly many morph into at adulthood, I have a theory for that. Now i don't ascertain there aren't enfj's who were social butterflies all along, but it makes sense, when you are born with high social awareness and empathy, to see people breaking social norms and being that socially unaware as people being against you for some reason, because you expect that people should have a reason to behave this way, a young mind not being able to comprehend others are not similarly equipped. Thus, you can be withdrawn and even a bad communicator as a child, the latter because you expect others to read between the lines as well as you. Then, I don't know which function helps pick apart people and realise not anyone is as emotionally aware(to me it was Ti, but maybe it's a combination of all three), but you learn to deal with others who were not born with this soft installed.

Why would you emotionally toy/tease/try to trigger someone?
Do you like them? Are you just bored? Or what?

Hi guys!

I'm a female ENFJ and just encountered my first male ENFJ. First it felt strange, and now it feels like he is the blueprint of everything I could ever want in a partner! Loyalty, compassion, discipline, intellect, initiative, fun.

I'm shocked why it never crossed my mind before how a fellow ENFJ may be the answer!

Anyone here in an ENFJ x ENFJ pairing, or know of one? Please tell me about it!!

As an entp, that just graduated, I wanted to talking about my physics teacher with yall bro.

I genuinely have not met one man with a better personality than my enfj physics teacher. I am so deeply admiring this man, does anger not exist in him?

Like for example this one time, my friend and I were doomscrolling in this mans class, when he came to us, ofcourse he knew we werent doing physics, he just simply smiled and said “So, How is it going x? Do you understand it?”. At this point he had all the right to take our ipad from us because he saw what we were doing. We said we understood it and he went away, later he came by again (this man walks around the class offering help to people a lot) this time he said “x and y, come on please focus on physics right now, okay? You’re on your ipad, if you need help then let me know”. He left it at that and continued walking. You see at this point I was kind of ashamed so I kind of stopped but my istp friend continued doomscrolling.

Then he came by again, this man’s patience bro, everyone would get angry right now, this man did something else, he put his hands on my istp friends shoulders from behind, smiled and said “Come on y, I know you can do it, you are a smart person who is capable of passing this subject easily. Just put a little bit of effort in, you got an insufficient grade, I believe in you” etc as he was petting him like the CARE that he shows others is genuinely admiriable. Everything he says is with a tone of being concerned

WHAT?

At this point I literally said to my friend “Bro, if you continue right now then that would genuinely be disrespect” and I said it slightly loud enough so my teacher could hear it to let him know I appreciate him.

He continues, he came by again over and over and he never got angry at all. I observed him and genuinely no backbencher ever does something in his class, yet instead if anger he approaches with motivation. Like I was someone that wasted time, and like doing absolutely nothing, but out of respect for this man and how he motivated me I started putting more effort into it and studied more at school and at home.

He always works in stages, but even at stage 10 anger isnt an option. Other teachers force students to study at stage one, become angry or send them out. But this man is so different, in my 2 years of meeting him, he never showed an angry expression, he explains everything with so much passion and knowledge, he never snorted, never groaned or made any bad sound at all. He just does his job and does it perfectly.

If I can be reborn into a different personality type, I’m choosing probably enfj with a good enneagram type.

Love enfj’s

Does anyone know about this pair? How could be the long term relationship between them?

Trying to understand an ENFJ online friendship that slowly faded

I (18F, INTP if that matters) became friends with an online guy around my age who told me he was an ENFJ.

This was a completely anonymous Reddit friendship. We never exchanged photos and never actually saw what each other looked like. Despite that, our conversations became surprisingly deep over the course of months.

We talked about personality types, culture, movies, life goals, relationships, work, family, hobbies, and random daily things. Our conversations were usually long and thoughtful and he seemed to put effort into his replies.

At one point he described our friendship as feeling different from most online conversations and even mentioned staying in touch outside Reddit someday.

The confusing part is his communication style.

He works very long hours and sometimes disappears for long periods. Once before he disappeared for around two weeks and then came back apologizing and sending huge replies, so I learned not to panic immediately when he vanished.

Eventually he disappeared again for much longer.

Since then my brain has been replaying every conversation trying to find the sentence that ruined everything.

I wondered whether I talked too much about other friends, whether our opinions were too different, whether I came across as too independent, or whether I somehow disappointed him.

Recently after weeks of silence I sent him a lighthearted message related to one of our shared interests because I thought it would be an easy and pressure-free way to reopen the conversation.

It's now been a few more days and there is still no reply.

I think what hurts is that someone who felt kind, thoughtful and important to me slowly disappeared without me understanding why.

Ironically, as an INTP, I know I personally have the tendency to withdraw from people when life becomes overwhelming.

But during my own difficult periods, there was always a part of me that thought:

"I can't do that to someone who has been kind to me."

So maybe that's why this situation is confusing me so much.

For ENFJs or anyone who has experienced something similar:

Have you ever drifted away from someone you genuinely cared about?Does this sound like someone becoming overwhelmed and disconnected?Or does this sound more like someone who simply moved on?

I'm not looking for people to attack him or attack me.

I think I'm mostly trying to understand what happened.

So me enfj (male) and istj (male) used to be best friends in highschool till we split off. Also fyi i tend to ramble, i Never thought I'd actually ask for advice about this it feels like a long story but I'll try to keep it short as I can.

So freshman year I met my ex buddie, we met in art class and both being new to the school district had no friends so we where each others first friend, he talked to me first said he liked my vibe and he knew he wanted to talk to me, i beamed to make my first friend and i also liked this aura and his deadpan humor he had about him, immediately we agreed to be friends

After 3 weeks of that i made a plan to get into the popular friend group which was basically pretend i was already apart of it because it had so many members, the issue tho is i knew i couldn't do it alone i needed someone to talk to that knew me so it wouldn't be so obvious i didn't know anyone, so i thought hey this would be great to drag my istj into because he would make friends aswell.

I went over to him and told him my plan, he was horrified and i thought he would get over it because he was just nervous but this was good for him, so i tried to take him but he linked his legs around the Cafeteria lunch table and his hands, so long story short I had to rip him off and drag him to the table, I found us a seat between the extroverts and introverts because I knew he was shy, for me I immediately made friends and connections and i was worried about him if i made the right choice but i did the introverts where just his crowd, so basically it went really well and we both made good friends but I realize now that was not the best but I was a dumb teen

Now a couple key things I really appreciated about my istj, 1 is he was actually caring, it's hard for me to describe I grew up in a very tough love home and even tho he was quiet I could tell he cared and there where moments where I was a complete air head and he saved me from danger by pointing it out and even once saving me by pushing me out the way of a car (unfortunately I am that slow especially when I was a teen) and one time we where kinda joke wrestling over some item, I knew not to be rough but he nails where a bit longer then average and he cut my hand, I told him and to my surprise he took my hand in his and kissed the cut and said sorry, ig he realized what he did (side note he's the oldest sibling i thought this was probably why i might be wrong idk) and thought I would rag on him but I didn't I honestly appreciated that sorta stuff and accepted his apology and moved on but the place in my heart grew for him I saw him as a really good guy Now here's where stuff gets complicated.

I was kinda a art Prodigy and it seemed to really get to him he would make passive aggressive comments about how great I was which was outta character but me being me I just laughed it off and playfully called him a hater cause me and my friends ragged on each other all the time and I didn't think how it was unlike him, and there was also this girl he liked that he didn't tell me about even tho I was hitting on her I only learned from another friend and immediately i stopped and asked him about it and he was really dismissive and refused to answer the question if he liked her but I left it alone, later I found out his efforts of trying to get her weren't going well and she even slapped him ouch, and when I brought it up and seemed genuinely apologetic he seemed kinda guilty ig for probably secretly being upset about it but after that I no longer was trying to pursue her

But besides that at the time I talked to him alot outside of school and he didn't say alot but he was very supportive of me and very patient and listened to me talk and I appreciated any advice he gave me as simple as it was I could tell he really cared when he said it and i tried to be supportive and let him know I appreciated his presence and whenever he was going through stuff and usually refused to tell me I would give him advice and let him have space and he would come to me later saying how he appreciated it but he would obviously be embarrassed and move on quickly

Then covid happened and we hangout during it and had some moments that I'm honestly quite confused about I had no idea he had been bisexual which is another confusing layer i only found out after the friendship had ended, we hangout at this abandoned building by this lake and watched the sun set and he gave me a flower and we had a deep talk and I guess looking back I freaked out, punched him in the shoulder told him I could tell he still liked that girl etc and yeah looking back moment ruined horrifically, and when Christmas came around i saved up alot of money to get him a gift and i hand written him a note which was honestly isanely sappy, I told him I got him a present and when the time came my other closde friend estp was there and istj didnt want him to know which i thoght was odd so he made me sit at a bench with him not facing each other and pass my gift under the table, afterwards i told estp though and istj got embarrassed and stared daggers at estp when he wanted to see, Also side note apparently people thought we where secretly gay cause I brought him everywhere like hangouts and parties basically always made sure he was included and I guess we where more affectionate then the average male friendship and that kinda shattered the way I saw this friendship, the whole friendship I considered him different then other friends like more then a friend but like a brother now I'm not so sure cause the relationship is obviously different then my irl brother and other close male friendship

But anyway this is how the friendship ended when school opened back up after covid my popularity had reached a peak that I didn't want honestly especially because I was really going through it and my coping was just to be very Charming when i was dying inside and I was very bitter because no matter what I did eveyone just saw me as this perfect guy even teachers it lowkey was the Laura palmer experience, but I think istj could see I was lowkey insufferable cause of how miserable I was and he was worried but he seemed also kinda upset by how I just couldn't lose. Also istj told me at that abandoned house he didn't like that girl anymore so I decided to pursue her because she was honestly very kind to me and I desperately wanted that looking back she wasn't even a good fit and was more fit as a good friend to me but again istj had lied and this seemed to be the tiping point where sympathy started running low, i immediately realized and stopped but the damage seemed done because even tho i stopped me and her had been friends aswell for also years at this point and she was supportive of me and i wasn't gonna just cut her off but i told him i wouldn't try it again, he didn't even respond this time, and honestly im not sure if she did have feelings for me i think she did a little cause i was outgoing and nice but i realized she really did like istj and he had a real shot, but he obviously didn't believe me at this point

Fast forward to the party that ended it all I had invited him to a party like usual nothing too big but nice amount of people estp friend's idea. after the incident with the girl he liked he was ignoring me outside of school but again irl he was always by my side, latey he was alot more bitter tho outwards and at the party he ignored me the entire time and talked to other people he barely even know which was very unlike him and he embressed me and I was already having such a hard time

Afterwards istj and me my other friend estp hangout at my house cause I enjoy more intimate hangouts aswell and it had been a while since we properly did one so I decided perfect time my house is only 2 blocks away, the entire time istj was quiet so me and estp talked giving him space, me and estp where also tired from the party so it was genuinely a really relaxed conversation, I told estp though a family member gave me a joke creepy doll and he suggested to show it to istj, I half heartly took it out and showed him not even teasing but all if a sudden he punches the doll ig he immediately assumed I would tease even if I didn't do it immediately, the thing was I was holding the doll and he hit my hand and didn't even realize at first till I said, me and estp just looked at each other and he cut my hand with his nail so I was bleeding a little, he went pale said he needed to go home already and literally ran out of my house

Me and estp had a conversation about how he had been acting super weird latey and estp wanted to text him to check on him and I said heck no because he had been not able to stand estp latey( which I do get he is alot but also a good guy genuinely) so I decide to text him and I had noticed latey he would stim alot when stressed so I asked if he was autistic (not my brightest move I know never is) and I asked if I'm just genuinely not supporting him like im supposed to be but I think he thought I was insulting him and only read the word autistic and blew up on me and I was stunned especially by what he was saying but I was so upset I barely remember

he then ignored me for a week and I texted Him saying its honestly not okay to treat me like this that I care about him and he can be upset with me but I don't want him to avoid me because I'm lonely and I can stand to lose eveyone else but him, he seemed really guilty and told me I deserve better then him And I always have etc and I was just so confused where this was coming from, we then tried taking it slow and did late night calls usually, I think it was the only thing I could do with my nerves we talked a bit and usually I played games on calls but after a bit of that he sent me this strange text that him and that girl had gotten together and I told him I was happy for him and I would even throw him a party but somehow that seemed like the wrong thing to say and at the time I was questioning my sexuality and came out as bisexual and he called me the f word and I will admit me and my guys friends did that as teenage boys but this time seemed different and I was genuinely really taken aback, he was also super supportive of LGBTQ tho at the time i had no idea he was bi but idk it seemed like he wanted a reaction outta me like he was upset I was okay with him being with that girl or something idk and I wasn't even okay with it looking back I felt like I was going to lose him but I told myself it was all in my head and I was being weirdly possessive over just a friend then he started bringing up my sexuality and all the time and I confronted him this time I went off on him about how pissed I was after eveything i had done for him and how I cared for him and I didn't wanna lose him

And he felt really guilty said he didn't know what was wrong with him and I should find someone better someone without issues and i told him I didn't wanna lose him and he told me I lost him a long time ago?? I said wth does that even mean I was crying he said give him a year to clear his head but he didnt text me after that year so I texted him and he was super weird he was like Psychoanalyzing me and why I cared so much about him and my attachment issues and every time I would talk and see a little crack that he still cared about me deep down he would freak the heck out and go off on me, nothing as intense as before but self depreciating and asking what was wrong with me and what was wrong with him then after a week of this he texted me this messed up message how he had moved on and I needed too too but he was being so cruel about it and I snapped told him what if I was doing bad mentally and he wasn't there for me and how would he feel if I did get hurt and he never saw me again, he didn't text me a reply I think that was too much after that I swore I was done with him but well now it's been years and tmi recently I broke down on a random sidewalk and it was outta nowhere cause i just started doing good in life and I just felt all the grief I had told myself was anger at him but it really wasn't, I kept asking myself how did I mess everything up even though I know its not completely my fault

I just genuinely thought he would be my best friend for life and I don't know why but I imagined basically spending my life with him and in my head I thought well he will get married and have kids and then I'll also be there always like a annoying uncle and I told him this once and he got this weird look on his face like he was touched, probably confused but also sad he mumbled something about being better then his father was and I responded saying he would make a great father and he moved on after that like he didnt wanna talk about it.

Anyway I texted him this year and it went better then expected but also a disaster in some ways, I feel like I can't win, he told me to get lost basically but I was persistent but not trying to overwhelm I apologized for what I said last time and he actually heard me out, I told him I miss our friendship but I don't expect anything from him we started talking again and I got excited it was going well and I said some really weird stuff like it could be just me and him again and it could be great and he seemed desperate so I got more excited then I'm ngl I sorta sounded a bit obsessed and he he closed up immediately, saying I deserve better etc and he can't do it, I tried to talk him down he seemed emotional then I found out the girl he was with left him, and I admitted I was unsure if I had romantic feeling for him or not and after that the conversation got too tiring for both of us so we decided to continue tomorrow,

Tomorrow came and I suggested calling and to my surprise he was calling me and he sounded horrible but after a while we started talking like old times again and I got him to laugh a bit and I had missed that so much and he admitted he doesn't even remember why we stopped talking, and I told him my perspective and all I knew and he said wow that was it? that's really nothing and I said yeah and then I admitted how much I missed him and it got a bit emotional and I could hear him get emotional aswell and he said from the bottom of his heart he was sorry, sorry that be missed do many years being there for me etc but that he was right I really do deserve better then I asked if he ever cared about me and he said he cared about me alot how our relationship felt magical and I forget the rest but it helped alot not to feel so guilty that made the friendship was forced on him, he said I made every day feel like a adventure and told me he honestly doesn't know if he can be a friend to me right now because he's so depressed and I told him that was okay that I would wait for him but I was tired of acting like this didn't matter, also he said he didn't have romantic feeling and I was probably just confused because he felt the same way like things where magical etc but it wasn't romantic but he sounded tired and I said just to forget i said anything that he was probably right and I felt guilty for even bringing it up at all but overall the conversation was good he told me to text him and he would try to respond

Then the next day came and I honestly don't know how it got brought up but he asked If I was single and I said no because I had just gotten into a new relationship and then he stopped texting me he only said I don't understand and he deleted the texts he sent me, and I started losing it because this was a new relationship and I had no idea if it was going to work and thought maybe it would maybe be okay if I had istj like old times but now and I feel selfish now for thinking that

So In summary I can't decide if this is gay or just friendship and if I'm bad for istj or istj is bad for me or maybe we just dont fit as anything, this is also my first reddit post so sorry if it sucks, any advice would be helpful literally anything especially if you can clear up if istj had feeling for me or not I'm not sure if I provided enough information idk

It's not like I enjoy being naggy or bossy but some people only respond when you're firm with them. A few of my family members can make things miserable for both of us if I ask them to do something, whether it's fixing something, cleaning or any other chore so I always find myself acting like that

Sometimes my family even asks me to talk to someone else on their behalf because they know I'm more "naggy" or "bossy" and that person is less likely to say no to me

I've 28M always left parts of me out of the picture. Parts I didn't think relevant to the outcome. I'd wanted someone to get to know me beyond my online profile. To love me for my character.

Man or woman, you might find it relatable.

I would tell of my positive inner state, my personal vulnerability, my need for connection and support, and my aim moving forward.

For someone with emotional intelligence, you've done essential healing work. You might want someone to see you.

I might even make side posts including my riddling wits and strong masculine benefits in some sexually suggestive material.

I'd only just realized what I was doing was advertising my personal attraction to smart people.

Yet, I wouldn't share hobbies, finite details on my career path, or even what makes up the woman I'd love. All of the...dumb things, because I valued connection. I'd attempt to exclude people, create incredibly strict and isolating requirements, and expect the numbers to shed the braindead like it was a science. I wanted so little, leaving out the desirables, yet most people wouldn't get past the first few paragraphs, attacking me for writing. I was targeting a thought form, by communicating my mind, believing it would capture the woman right for me. The whole post would sit, a stack of undeniable proof of competence, and I'd get zero messages.

Zero Messages, Negative Comments, Bans for Being Different, some women would be smitten, but none compatible for me to do the right thing with.

I might not ever make a post this thorough and relatable again. But if it works, I might not have to write one to that end. Many people enjoy the talk of commonalities and they think that's what a person is. I think a bit differently, but I'll play along with this. Let me just set the record straight before giving it a spin. We're souls. We each have roles. Much of what you're doing makes up who you are, but you are so much more. I love you.

I spent many years healing from Narcissistic Abuse, and that gave me my truth. My entire life was a lie, and I had to piece together the skin that was torn from me to feel whole again. The world that I formerly knew was forgotten, and I had disciplined myself into virtue and confidence in my own leadership. To find the light at the end of the tunnel, and discover that that light was within me. At the end, I was it. I am now a gift, the source of truth that many come to for help when they need self-awareness.

My life being what it is, the largest obstacle still not properly set in motion, I'm meant for more. I haven't been triggered in years, yet I'm sure I still have work to do. Like anyone else can say, I'm not perfect. If I were, I wouldn't be asking for a girlfriend.

There is a part of me that wants the support of a romantic companion. If I were to be a starseed preaching of universal harmony, I don't think I'd want this. Alas, I am human, conscious, and out in the open. Earth is my plain, and I intend to honor it while I'm here by making it my domain. That's why I'm asking for a little more charm under my arms. A girl that would challenge me, a woman that would unravel me, and a partner to invest in goals with.

So an extensive bit about me:

I'm in touch with myself. Unlike a large portion of the population, I self-reflect. A lot. I invented my own self-reflection and healing modality. I mirrored back the lies I told myself, and when honoring what would serve my health, I developed consecutive streaks of self-awareness by doing the thing that was right for me, and others.

Without having undergone such intensive care, it wouldn't matter how I got here. Even if I shared the exact same struggles, I would be a completely different person. Life is very much how you respond to it. That's why critical thinking, the capacity to question one's own thought process, is so invaluable a development of unbiased self-reflection. That's something ai, other people, even a journal doesn't do. You have to be very intentional with the words you give power to and speak over your life's truth.

So that gave me me. It's important to know. I now help others in their growth with their mental and emotional health. Wellness. Well-being. Think creative conflict transformation in group dynamics. The transformation of relational trauma. Transcending suffering. Transmuting your pain into your purpose. Transformer. Yeah. That kind of deep inner work. The most meaningful and most diffcult, yet it yields the most results in every part of a person's life.

Quite honestly, I believe most of people's problems would be resolved if they learned to self-reflect in an objective way. To act on that newfound conscious awareness by putting to death cycles of thought patterns that spiral them downward and follow through on what serves them so they can uplift their state and continue upward. If everyone could face themselves, and help themselves, the world would most practically and effectively become the best place - because loving the self and the other at the same time becomes one's natural default state.

To make my message come to light, I'm integrating a need for online presence to be extensive. I can't make the level of impact I need to make without it. To proceed in hiding would be to deny my light, and deny that light to shine for others to be inspired by and to find their own light. If I'm to draw it out of anyone, I can't be helping people behind the scenes and in the darkness anymore. I must present.

My deeper more hidden gifts reside in entertainment, performing, and doing things musically as well as physically that draw in the world more than any other medium can. My life as an artist, a performing artist, is intentionally weak in the universe's current path for me. Yet, the entertaining side of my personality is a feeling I am actively opening up to the public to create interpersonal harmony.

That space is intended to be the birthplace for everything beyond it. Spreading awareness from my pocket, while entertaining connection that won't put a stop to it. Being solely educative, or solely personal, or solely entertaining isn't' enough for me. There is a middle channel that I can fathom the world needs, and it isn't random.

This would progressively be shaped by podcasting, forward unto dawn and into the direction of holding such a container and more through live streaming. This is a major skill, while much of the world is ashamed of how people present themselves in this internet age.

Online community containers, meetings between leaders, interviews, collaborations, actual call to actions within conscious demographics for people to commit to following through with, e-learning, live in person events, speaking engagements, concerts and a movement of consciousness...Do you see the pattern? Everything is communication and presents toward the forward momentum that is connection.

At the risk of not being able to control relationships, this is the grand hull of my mission. Due to the nature of how unpredictable people are, it's also what can sink it.

So that's a bit on my story, and where I'm going. I'll leave out my list of accomplishments.

Now for hobbies:

Honestly, if you gave me money and told me to go have fun, I'd probably A) invest it in my projects which help me draw closer to my goals, 😎 deepen my learning and self-education, C) spend it on something practical that I think would improve my quality of life, D) find a way to gift or reward someone I know, E) just have fun.

I am wired for growth. Because the things I enjoy are so in alignment with my talents and abilities, or what I'm good at, I genuinely love the work that I do as it's on point with what I'm meant to be doing. I'm drawing out of me the expression that best breathes life into the world around me. And it improves myself as well. Not only do I find that enjoyable, but I also find it rewarding.

Here are a few talents of mine:
Martial Arts, Speaking, Healing, Leading, Animals, Dancing, Entertaining, Performing, Rapping, Writing, Singing

If I had to write down other things outside of that, I'd signal that I enjoy learning. Not sure if that qualifies, haha. Music and making music, err err, talents. Making videos...This factors into work. See how conflicted I am?

I'll consider these anything I might give my time to...

playing pool on a pool table,

hiking and exploration,

competition,

select videogames,
making people smile every chance I get,

anime,

good movies,

swimming at the beach,

self-reflection,

fishing,

reading (not my favorite/best learning modality),

side hustles,

I don't drink or do drugs. I've never done anything beyond weed and alcohol. Given that my spiritual journey was conducted through the transformation of pain, there isn't much benefit in doing any mind opening substances either.

At home, I don't intend on living any sense of a conventional lifestyle. The sooner I am able to, I'd prefer to exist in collaboration within the collective container of an intentional community. Preferably, one I'd build. Yet, I'm not opposed to joining one because the former requires a large amount of resources and people, and building one would require experience and resourceful people. This solves hundreds of problems and creates a support system that any nuclear household removed from life as a tribe is consequentially infested with.

Contradictory to what's conventional, I might be open to having a traditional partner in the sense of a relationship dynamic and the roles fulfilled within it. They call it a trad-wife, or traditional wife. However, I'd imagined my partner would help me in business. She'd have complimentary skills and traits that I don't have, and she likely doesn't have mine. This means she fills the gaps that I can't fill, and our mutually benenficial structure of a relationship gives us a solid build together.

My work life is centered around operating my own business/es, so I'm often focused on serving people that need my help. This includes risk and reward, and is not for everyone. If someone entered my life, they'd need to understand that the cost of operating a business is the quality time, funds, and energy that would otherwise be dedicated to her or other parts of one's life in the relationship and investing it toward the business. Yet, it leads to and funds a freedom and joy that other qualities in life would imprison you by. It's less predictable and determinable earlier on, but that can change long-term. A large portion of success in the relationship would be about making that possible.

As for my character:

I'm at peace within myself. Neutral. Never triggered. And can be vulnerable.

My thoughts are focused and centered on connection. Give me friction, and I'll get us back to neutral instantly. If you're crazy there's a very valid maybe that we won't connect towards that. But listen, and we've got ourselves in a good position.

I've looked myself in the mirror and transformed thousands of thought patterns. With that comes wisdom, emotional intelligence, a whole lot of self-awareness, and a lot of confidence as I built momentum in my life early on. There's not many potentials that can challenge me and my thinking. I tend to be right, yet I don't have to be, and I'm more open than anyone you know to be. It's important to understand that with these developed traits comes heat, and you will be put under the fire by being a part of me.

I want a drama free environment. The last thing I want after a day of challenging peoples' beliefs, my own, and becoming a better person for it is to have my free time caught up in being challenged some more. A feminine woman in touch with herself, and my masculine containment are best when they're compatible, not resisted. I'm not a man that's hard to open. I'm freely open and completely vulnerable. So I need someone who won't make me closed, because I can trust her with all of me being exposed. A woman who likes to violate that would be a hard NO.

I'm a bit unusual for a man. I don't like sports, cars, politics, bars, gyms, or celebrity stars. There's other things to give my attention to, and exercise that's more thrilling than one place you'd dedicate yourself to. I value connection, communication, people, relationships. Realistically, these are my gifts and what I'm here for. I'd rather double down on it than do all the other things someone else can have a thing for.

Having a relationship would be a positive source of connection and support. A reminder of my well-being as a man, and the positive effects of my goals moving toward. Physical support is more of what I'm looking for. Mentally and emotionally, I don't have a need. Yet of course, I want to be seen. Spiritually would indicate alignment with me, and what I'm meant to be doing.

I'm attracted to intelligence. I won't describe the ideal woman because most of what's there would be some form of a mirror image of me, my character, and the values I have as a part of me. Someone who knows how to love, and love healthily. You don't have to be perfect. Don't even think so. You just have to be worth it. The amount of life invested in a romantic relationship is the most important return on investment one could ever find in a decision. Protect your life with it.

Thank you for your time. While I didn't let my entertaining personality shine here, or have my riddling intelligence draw any hard lines to hear, younger or older, your age is not a concern for me. What matters is energetic compatibility. If this post it up, let me know how you relate. Please be thoughtful. Your intention matters. I love you.

What characteristics do you look for in a partner? The whole parts to compatibilty and connection...