I pushed so many people away because I believed I was a bad person. I couldn’t bear the thought of the people I loved getting hurt because of me or having to stay beside someone like me. I wanted them to find someone better, someone who could give them the peace and happiness I never felt I could.
Life with me always seemed exhausting. I’m a deeply gloomy person, and I never wanted anyone’s pity. I didn’t want to burden them with my problems or cast a shadow over their days. I wanted them to experience life at its brightest, surrounded by people who could make them smile… not someone like me.
And yet, when I see they’ve moved on and found the life I hoped they would, my heart still breaks. It hurts more than I can put into words. But I tell myself there’s nothing I can do, because maybe this really is what’s best for them.
Everyone who enters my life seems to end up carrying a weight they never asked for. Maybe I hurt them, or maybe I only believe I do I honestly don’t know anymore. I just can’t see myself as someone who could truly make another person happy. Everything around me my family, my life has always felt heavy, and I never wanted that darkness to reach the people I love.
Now I’ve made a terrible mistake, and all I can think is that I should leave everyone behind. I want to push them all away, so it will be easier for me to let them go… and easier for them to move on without me.

I hate myself. And I find it pathetic. This whole community is pathetic. Just wallowing in self loathing instead of just doing something. Just starting. Just one step a day. But you are so addicted to a version of yourself. So attached to feeling shit. I go out of my way to make my life worse. And the worse it gets the more I hurt people around me. It’s so selfish.

i would be happy if I were white, I would be beautiful.

I'll never be beautiful, I hate my shit colored skin so much. I hate summer, I hate my 3c hair. I hate my lips, my nose, I hate when people refer to me as what I am, I hate, hate, hate hate when people ask me what I am and I have to say what third world country my parents are from, I hope my children come out with beautiful European features.

I low-key feel like i'm ugly like every guy I like always rejects me everyone around me are getting into a relationship but I just can't even get into one. Like I don't think i'm ugly but I guess everyone around me does. Im I bad person for being jealous that my friends are into a relationship like what can I even do I'm just a helpless person who wants to find someone to love me and craving for the love that my parents never gave me. I'm I bad person???

I am a rotten apple. I make everyone around me depressed because I'm always overthinking about something and there is honestly nothing happy that I ever share with anyone.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and we have hardly ever gone on dates because my parents are strict and they don't let me date. Plus we're in college and preparing for a very hard exam. He failed it twice while I passed it in the first attempt. He failed the first time because he got into drama with his friend group in the first year of college (before we even met) and lost focus. The second time we had started dating and he had a good chance of clearing the exam but he failed by 3 marks. And before the exam I used to annoy him so much because I was afraid he was still talking to his ex or using me because she had started posting again and he was still following her, and even though nothing happened I was so anxiously attached to him that I made him so depressed by asking for constant reassurance and I KNOW that he failed the second time because of me and I can't get over the guilt and I'll always live with it. However he used to hangout with his friends for 3-4 hours before the exam so that might have made an impact too but the blame is mostly on me(at least that is what u try to tell myself to bury the guilt deep down inside of me)

I stopped my toxic behaviour of being obsessed with his past after he told me to and I knew I needed to change but there were still so many unsolved problems with my anxiety. I would always call him to tell about my day and I would only talk about something negative like "yeah I felt so embarrassed and awkward about that thing that happened in college today, I'm never doing that again" and I would always cry because I thought it didn't affect him, but recently he told me it did and it's making him depressed too to the point that he started talking less to me.

His 3rd attempt is coming up and he told me he needs a 2 month break so he can prepare for it without any distractions and I told him I didn't have any problem with it because I know I keep going back to my old habits and I'm toxic. I even tried breaking up with him because I was constantly doing this but he wants to stay together and trusts that I'll fix it.

He wants me to be more expressive and stop pushing people away that like me and take care of myself even if we don't last, but I feel like I'll disappoint him all over again. Not only him but all other relationships that I have. Also I'm too broke for therapy, which I did consider once.

The guilt is killing me and I feel like I don't deserve anything that I've achieved but my parents are dependent on me and I have to do something for them.

I once used to think I was an amazing person who made everyone feel good but turns out to be just an emotionally manipulative person.

I am not seeking sympathy here, all criticism is welcome, I deserve it and I need people to be brutally honest with me as I feel that is the only way I can be better and not repeat this again.

I stopped meth after 60 days and all I am is a gay loser with no money, no boyfriend, no career living in sober living. Life is unbearable and i can't do this if every second is emotionally unbearable. Unless I can get money, a high paying job, and boyfriend then I give up. The only thing harder than being gay is being gay and poor

Like bro I'm 30 and ugly af , I'm terribly jealous of good looking people and feel disgusted everytime I look in the mirror . I wear a medical mask everyday to cover my face so that nobody can see how ugly I am without it, not to mention this ugly stubborn double chin I got. Yes regardless of what I wear or what I try to change my face is still my face, the medical mask is the only thing that helps a little when I'm in public.

(I got no friends so I'm just letting it out here)

I'm fat and I know it bro. I may be a teen, but I know I'm not skinny. And I'm too lazy/unmotivated to actually do anything about it so I fall into a spiral of self-hate and then anger. And I get girls coming up to me talking about how they're so fat as if I'm not two sizes bigger than them OBVIOUSLY. Like how can someone be that fucking dense?

I'm also sick of all this body positivity bullshit. I'm not happy in my body, I wanna do something about it, no amount of 'omg love urself' or 'people would've gone to war for u' is gonna make me feel better. how can ppl not read the fucking room??

And I'm too lay do actually do anything to get skinny. I've tried half assed to do workouts and shit but it never sticks. And I know I eat like shit, but I can't fix that either. it's genuinely so fucking annoying and frustrating that I can't get myself to just workout and be healthy.

everyday i wake up, i remember the bad things that i did in my life. bad decision's , bad choices , bad things and etc. i just feel empty. i hate myself. i always think of suicide but im scared of death. with the matter that i hate my life and myself, i am still scared. but im just done with my life. i did things that i cannot even explain to my parents. i just dont want to exist,

i want to distract myself by doing things that makes you think more, but i cannot,

i pray everyday to make myself calm, but it just doesnt work. i did things that, i just regret, the moment that i was doing these things, i wasnt myself. i dont know why did i even thought about doing something like those...

i cant take it anymore. but still im scared. im scared of suicide , scared of death, scared of my own life ... i dont know what should i do...

trying to work through depression and anxiety without bothering anyone nothing in this world is more important than being there. Being there for those in my life, but some days my world is crumbling around me and no one knows it because im good at hiding pain with a smile, but if you ask me how im doing my response will always be. im good even when im not

i don’t have any motivation for the things that keep me going. moving my body is exhausting and i feel constantly caked in dirt and grime. i’ve gone through all of my hobbies for the past two days and nothing is giving me any dopamine whatsoever. when am i gonna feel something again?

i started talking to an old friend. it’s nice, but honestly it’s making me so self conscious. i keep thinking i’m bothering him and he doesn’t really want to talk to me no matter what signals he gives.

i don’t want to make him think i’m miserable. i don’t want to be in his mood down every time i’m around, but everyone seems to treat me like a black hole for all happiness lately. no matter how much i do the right facial expressions and tones of voice they all see through it. wish they would just stop fucking asking me about it. i don’t have an answer.

not sure what to do from here. just sleep my life away? that’s probably what i’ll do if nothing works some time soon lmao

I truly hate existence I've pushed forward through so much shit trying to look for reasons to get better or improve but I don't enjoy anything anymore.there really is no greener grass on the other side I have absolutely 0 friends online or in person, and generally dislike most people. My childhood was so fucked in genuinely upsets me just to see someone having a happy healthy relationship with their parents or something simple like that.

My mother will be able to take care of my dog and she's probably the only one who would slightly miss me anyways as I am basically her handyman. I've been dropped by numerous therapists.

Fuck this stupid shitty rock, and the united States mental healthcare system that's on it.