r/PlusSize 14d ago

/r/plussize “Thanks But I’m Not Actually the Problem Here” Resource List

89 Upvotes

Help us build a resource list for people who want to read, watch, and listen more widely around fat acceptance, fat liberation, anti-fat bias, diet culture, and fat people's lived experience.

The point is not to help people become smaller. It's to collect work that treats fat people as actual human beings, and that names the social, medical, cultural, romantic, professional, and everyday pressures fat people are routinely forced to face.

A lot of this list is especially relevant to fat women, because so much anti-fatness is tangled up with misogyny. That said, fatphobia doesn't only affect women, and this list shouldn't be read as women-only.

Books to start with:

Lindy West's Shrill is funny, furious, and very readable.

Aubrey Gordon's What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat is probably the clearest modern introduction to anti-fat bias as a social issue rather than a personal failing

Her follow-up, "You Just Need to Lose Weight": And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, tackles the claims fat people hear constantly.

Virgie Tovar's You Have the Right to Remain Fat.

Sofie Hagen's Happy Fat and Jes Baker's Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls are also accessible entry points for people newer to fat acceptance.

History and politics:

Sabrina Strings' Fearing the Black Body explains how fatphobia is tied to race, gender, class, etc, rather than being simply about "health."

Sonya Renee Taylor's The Body Is Not an Apology is broader than fatness but useful for thinking about body-shame and hierarchy more generally.

Marilyn Wann's Fat! So? is older but historically important.

Charlotte Cooper's Fat Activism: A Radical Social Movement is valuable for understanding fat liberation as an actual movement.

DaShaun L. Harrison, Belly Of The Beast. Anti-fatness, anti-blackness and gender

Tigress Osborne, "Weight and Wisdom: Find Yourself in Fat History"

Podcasts:

Maintenance Phase is great for unpacking diet culture, wellness cons, BMI panic, and how health language gets used to boulster prejudice.

Virgie Tovar's Rebel Eaters Club.

Food Psych and Rethinking Wellness, both by Christy Harrison, anti-diet and wellness-culture critique.

Fierce Fatty by Vinny Welsby.

“Why Won’t You Date Me?” Nicole Byer

Weight For It by Ronald Young Jr (also worth a follow on socials)

The Body Trust Podcast.

Film and TV:

Your Fat Friend is a documentary about Aubrey Gordon, fat activism, family, and ordinary discrimination od fat people.

The Shrill TV series based on West's book.

My Mad Fat Diary, Dumplin', Real Women Have Curves, Patti Cake$.

Fiction, memoir etc:

Roxane Gay's Hunger is honest about trauma, body size, and safety.

Jennifer Weiner's Good in Bed was significant for centring a fat woman's romantic, sexual, and professional life.

Julie Murphy's Dumplin' is a great YA option.

Talia Hibbert's Get a Life, Chloe Brown

Olivia Dade's Spoiler Alert.

Nicole Byer’s book #VeryFat #VeryBrave is a photo series of her rocking her extensive bikini collection

Health without weight-loss framing:

Lindo Bacon's Health at Every Size.

Christy Harrison's Anti-Diet unpacks how wellness culture repackages diet culture.

Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Resch is the standard reference for eating without restriction.

Ragen Chastain's Weight and Healthcare newsletter is good for research and practical scripts.

Decolonizing Fitness (Ilya Parker) covers movement spaces that don't treat body-size reduction as the goal.

People worth following:

Aubrey Gordon, Virgie Tovar, Sabrina Strings, Sonya Renee Taylor, Jes Baker, Ragen Chastain, Jessamyn Stanley, Vinny Welsby, Tess Holliday, and Tess Royale Clancy.

Read/watched/heard anything that made you think, lifted you up, informed, empowered or inspired you?

Please add below.


r/PlusSize 5d ago

FEEL GOOD FRIDAY POST! ❤️ Share your good moments and positive stories here!

4 Upvotes

#It's Feel Good Friday! 🎊

Post your feel-good moments and positive stories here. It can be anything: work, hobby, pets, kids, events, a book you particularly loved, a win of any sort, finding the exact right pair of shoes, mastering something, you name it, so long as it's positive. 🤗💖

Do please still refrain from any weight loss talk (save it for the Intentional Weight Loss Wednesday thread 😉)


r/PlusSize 6h ago

Fat + Art Art therapy assignments

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85 Upvotes

r/PlusSize 14h ago

Fat + Art Felt inspired by some art I saw on here the other day ✨

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199 Upvotes

I felt whimsical today and wanted to draw a beautiful fat fairy, and I’m really happy with how she turned out! :•)


r/PlusSize 1d ago

Discussion I feel sad when tv shows make sleeping with a “fat” woman the joke.

820 Upvotes

Like in scrubs Turk is with a larger woman and she gets off him and you see him pushed into the bed. I love scrubs too. But as a fat woman myself, it does make me sad when shows make jokes about us like that. Like when the guy who can’t get any goes after bigger women because that’s all he can get. Like the whole joke is just that she’s big. Like damn bruh, I can’t even watch a show without getting roasted.


r/PlusSize 21m ago

Fashion Discussion Where do plus-size women shop office chic clothes? (Canada)

Upvotes

I’m starting a new job soon, and I need some workwear recommendations

The dress code is much more business casual/chic than what I’m used to, and I’m finding it really difficult to build a wardrobe. Jeans and T-shirts aren’t allowed, so I need outfits that are office-appropriate. I’ll be working with children, so I also need clothes that are comfortable and easy to move in. I don’t want anything low-cut, but I still have to be chic.

As someone who shops exclusively in the plus-size section, I find it hard to find stylish work clothes. Being in Canada doesn’t help either, since many of the brands people recommend either don’t ship here or become very expensive once you factor in shipping and duties.

I have a few tops from BloomChic, but they all have a pretty similar cut, and I’m worried my outfits will start to look repetitive.

I also love the look of wide-leg pants on Pinterest, but I never feel confident enough to buy them. I always end up going back to skinny pants because I fear the wide leg pants accentuate my size (Even if on pinterest I don’t think that, on me it is hard)

Do you have any recommendations for stores, specific pieces, or outfit? I love wearing dresses in the summer, but once September rolls around, it’ll be too cold, so I’m mostly looking for tops, blouses, cardigans, pants, or other office-friendly.


r/PlusSize 2h ago

Venting New York and Company

2 Upvotes

When did they stop selling plus sized clothes? I used to get all my pants there but I went to their website yesterday and they don't have plus size clothing anymore. Super disappointing.


r/PlusSize 20h ago

TW: Fat Shaming Abuse Dissed by Health Professionals

40 Upvotes

Have you ever been fat shamed by a health professional? I remember seeing an ENT and he had to mention that I was zaftig. Saw a physician for therapy and he was asking about past surgeries. I mentioned my knee replacements. He said that is what happens when the chassis is bigger than the wheels. I was in the hospital once and a nurse looked at me with a scowl and asked if I had diabetes. I said no. (She could have looked at my recent metabolic panel to confirm it). She then ordered a diabetes test. I didn’t have it. I don’t mind when my PCP mentions my weight in regard to my health problems if she is respectful (she is). These folks weren’t seeing me for a weight related problem so I feel they should have STFU. Has this happened to you?


r/PlusSize 37m ago

Recommendations Any suggestions for excursions in St John (US Virgin Islands)?

Upvotes

As a plus size person (around 270 lbs) I’d like to get some suggestions on what kinds of excursions to do. I unfortunately can’t walk very well at the moment due to recovering from a back injury but hopefully much better by the time I get there in a few weeks. Long distance hiking or walks (over ~1/2 mi) will be out though.

I’m thinking specifically of things like kayak tours or snorkeling as I love both. I know some kayaks have weight limits so I’m concerned about that. Mostly just wondering what my fellow plus size folks do/did for fun activities in St John. Any recommendations welcome!


r/PlusSize 1d ago

Discussion Have you found people assume you can't do something because of your weight?

99 Upvotes

I'm a size 18/20 in the UK, always been a bigger woman and child.

Recently I was lucky enough to go to the Maldives and went on a snorkelling excursion. For reference I generally suck at sports but I'm a decent swimmer in open water.

Even before we got in the water the people guiding the trip were like "don't worry we'll help you" directly to me. Meanwhile my dad (family holiday) can't even swim properly was sat next to me, nothing said.

During the entire trip in the water one of the crew members was within about 3 feet of me at all times, trying to encourage me to grab on to a float device even though I told them repeatedly I was fine and could swim well.

I found it ridiculously patronising.


r/PlusSize 20h ago

Recommendations Bath Towels

27 Upvotes

I’m looking for some recommendations for bath towels. I know it might sound kind of ridiculous, but I am so tired of having bath towels that are not big enough to wrap around my body! Does anyone have any recommendations for bath towels that I would be able to wrap around myself as a plus size woman and if so could you also link it?


r/PlusSize 21h ago

Relationship Advice How do you date without feeling super self conscious

15 Upvotes

Hi 23F here and it feels like dating is the most difficult thing in the world.

I’ve never really been under a size 16 as a teen/adult. I fluctuated around a size 18 until covid hit and gained a ton more weight putting me at a 24/26. Then I was on ozempic for a year and dropped down to a 20ish now back up to a 24 and slowly working to get back down to a more comfortable size (for health reasons).

All that context is to say I dated a bit as a teen and then took a break for years and years and really only finally got the confidence to go out with guys again once I started losing weight. Now that it’s all come back, I’m trying to focus on loving myself no matter what because the right person won’t care either. I’ve never had a boyfriend which also ads a layer of complexity because I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to relationships.

That said, I went WAY out of my comfort zone last weekend and went out with 2 separate guys, one from Tinder and the other an old coworker that has been wanting to take me out for a while. The old coworker eventually said he didn’t feel any chemistry after a few days (even though I felt there was but whatever not going to argue with him over that). The other guy I went on a second date with last night and he just told me he enjoyed spending time together but he realized he wasn’t over his ex.

I know neither one of them said anything about the way I look but it’s so hard when my brain keeps telling me that’s the reason and they’re both making up other excuses to protect my feelings. Every time this happens it makes me want to give up because it’s the same story over and over again.

I’m also coming out of a hook up/friends with benefits situation that also feels like the same story - wasn’t over his ex but still wanted to hook up with me. Things ended a while ago but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that didn’t wish things had gone differently.

It just feels so hard to want to keep trying when it’s always a different variation of the same story.

The ex coworker I went out with told me I should take a break from dating, but my whole life has been a break from dating so that just annoyed me. Pretty much all of the guys that are attracted to me I am not attracted to, which really sucks. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to find someone who wants me.

If you got this far thanks for reading my rant :)


r/PlusSize 15h ago

Discussion Xlence plus?

4 Upvotes

Have any of yall attended or heard of xlence plus?

I’ve always been curious about it. I would love to attend more things geared towards us but i just want to hear first hand about it


r/PlusSize 17h ago

Venting Dating in 20’s as a plus size Female

5 Upvotes

Heyy soo please only answer if you are or were plus size. I am in my early 20’s and god knows how hard i have been trying to lose weight. I have lost a couple of kgs but the outer body and dimensions still look the same. I have had 4 crushes, all of whom rejcted me because they saw me as a friend or simply didn’t like me. But now that i am actively trying to fix my health the anxiety of losing my early 20’s to my health is too high.

I saw this really really beautiful guy and the gym and one at an event, i just wanted to be friends and talk but simply couldn’t get the confidence to get up and talk to him. I don’t necessarily want something romantic but just like, 0 courage to even talk. Plus he is always surrounded by a bunch of guys in the gym, how and what do i even say when he always has so many people or his younger brother around him.

I don’t want him to think i am sticking and talking for no reason. How do you even make friends mannnn aaaa

For context- i live in india


r/PlusSize 10h ago

Health Knee pain

0 Upvotes

Anyone had knee pain that went away eventually?

My knee started hurting recently and knee problems run in my family. Im worried my knee cup is already starting to give out but i really dont want to freak out about that yet. So does anyone get like shooting pain in knees that lasts a few days then goes away?


r/PlusSize 1d ago

Recommendations Postpartum Return to Work

5 Upvotes

I am having the HARDEST time finding clothes that fit my current body, are professional enough to wear to work, and that I can easily pump and nurse in. Not even looking for nursing specific clothes, just ones I can lift up or unbutton and wear a nursing bra under. My fave outfits for my office job are wide leg slacks and a cropped-ish (natural waist length) loose shirt, but I'm having a hard time finding these shirts and the ones I own no longer fit me...

Any ideas?


r/PlusSize 1d ago

Fashion Discussion Anyone jumped on the big chunky necklace trend?

4 Upvotes

Hi! I love the big chunky necklace trend. It leans a little y2k and I think the colors are fun. Has anyone found any that are plus size friendly? Maybe 20 inches? Or anything adjacent?


r/PlusSize 1d ago

TW: Fat Shaming Abuse Disses from Health Pros

3 Upvotes

Have you ever been fat shamed by a health professional? I remember seeing an ENT and he had to mention that I was zaftig. Saw a physician for ketamine therapy and he was asking about past surgeries. I mentioned my knee replacements. He said that is what happens when the chassis is bigger than the wheels. I was in the hospital once and a nurse looked at me with a scowl and asked if I had diabetes. I said no. (She could have looked at my recent metabolic panel to confirm it). She then ordered a diabetes test. I didn’t have it. I don’t mind when my PCP mentions my weight in regard to my health problems if she is respectful (she is). These folks weren’t seeing me for a weight related problem so I feel they should have STFU. Has this happened to you?


r/PlusSize 1d ago

Recommendations Leggings with Pockets

2 Upvotes

I have been looking for what feels like forever for some leggings with pockets, specifically ones that aren’t athletic material/style. My favorite leggings are Sonoma leggings from Kohl’s, same pairs have lasted years, and those I am allowed to wear at work, but no pockets. I have owned and worn Torrid leggings in the past, but after a few months they always acquire holes from chub rub.

Any recommendations? Are torrid leggings better now? Last time I had some from torrid was 3ish+ years ago. Love their bike shorts though! Thanks for any help!


r/PlusSize 2d ago

Self-Pics - Sundays Only! Loving my outfit today 💗

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1.4k Upvotes

r/PlusSize 2d ago

Relationship Advice Is my boyfriend a fetishist?

44 Upvotes

Hi, so I'm 18F and I recently got into a relationship with my now boyfriend, 18M. My boyfriend is average build, so like average weight and stuff. He said he's always preferred curvier/chubby/plus size women. I'm plus size, about 220 pounds and 5'4. Im just kinda anxious that he might be a fetishist, because hes really into my body. A lot if the times we have alone time, he likes to lift my shirt up and look at/touch my belly, he's obsessed with every part of me but loves my stomach especially. I think as a plus size woman with low self esteem, I naturally just find it strange that I can be atttactive to people. So I dont know if he just loves me or its something more. We were cuddling on time, he had his head on my chest, and he squeezed me and said 'Never lose weight. ' in a jokey manner I suppose. He also frequently touches my rolls and fat parts. He said he'd still love me even if I got bigger, but he doesn't try to overfeed me or anything like that. He always says hes dreamed of girls like me and now his dream has finally come true and I'm the prettiest girl hes ever seen. Opinions?


r/PlusSize 2d ago

TW: Fat Shaming Abuse Why do only skinny women come after my weight?

131 Upvotes

I’ve noticed this pattern throughout my life that whenever I have a disagreement with a skinny woman, the first thing she points out is how “big” I am. I am not sure if I’m considered plus sized or midsized, but I know im not skinny. I have curves and big hips and while most people don’t think im fat, it’s only skinny petite girls that have this opinion about me, especially when they’re angry. Why is that?


r/PlusSize 2d ago

Health Tea tree oil body wash and heat rash

20 Upvotes

Hello plus size,

I was getting a red rash line under my belly and where my thighs meet my hips for YEARS and YEARS every summer. This summer I started something new based on advice I read on here. I am using the tea tree oil body wash from Trader Joe's and my red rashes have totally gone away. it's a life changer. I just wanted to spread the info in case other people are still struggling with this issue. Oh, and I dry the crotch/under belly region with a hair dryer when I get out of the shower, I think that is helping too.

anyways I hope we all have a great summer and survive the heat.


r/PlusSize 2d ago

Self-Pics - Sundays Only! Pool ready!

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322 Upvotes

Some motivation for my beautiful plus size kings and queens to put it on this summer and not care what other people think!!! 💖💖💖


r/PlusSize 1d ago

Fitness for health and wellbeing workout help needed

4 Upvotes

I am running (well jogging) a Hyrox this year!

I have had a couple issues though throughout the training process, and I am looking for some guidance/assistance!

1.) I am in dire need of a HIGH impact bra. However, I want to be able to breathe and every super high impact bra pushed my boobs so far into my chest I cant deep breathe. So far I have tried : Fabletics, Aerie, Buffbunny, Alphalete, target, and VS with no luck.

2.) Every time I run, my calves BURN. I mean like on fire burn, I push through it but what am I doing wrong? Are my Muscles too weak? Should I strength train them more than I already do or is it because of my weight?? I have tried different shoes, so far my Hokas and ON Clouds have had the least amount of foot and calf pain but it is still a distinct burn.

3.) I am getting rubbed raw where my butt cheek meets my inner thigh. My butt is a bit large and has a deep crease at the bottom, the bottom of my butt cheek rubs on my thigh continuously when I run/jog/walk. I have tried many many different pairs of leggings with the sameish outcome. It is so bad that after a 5k jog/walk this weekend, I wasnt able to walk for the remainder of the day due to the pain. It is raw and gets swollen.

Any ideas or help is greatly appreciate!