I went to the methadone clinic which unfortunately was not great. I dosed the methadone again and had the same reaction to it, a completely lobotomized feeling where I felt like I’d never return back to my head. No idea what day it was or what happened, got the sr17 which made the physical part much better but I went through two bottles like it was nothing and now it’s taken almost a week to get more. But anyway after the methadone basically made me trip on acid for (I still don’t know how many days) I shook it out on the floor many nights seeing the floor as the wall and vice versa. I shook that shit out like a beast. Anyway I also got some gabapentin yesterday which really got me back in my head finally cause I thought I was gone forever. Still some stomach pain and manageable anxiety and a few chills but I can’t believe I’m saying this. I really feel like this is my last day of discomfort. Just wish the sr17 would hurry up already. Now the emotional part has been hard.. idk what’s waiting on the other side of this because it’s been 12 years. But I’m sososo close 😭

https://www.reddit.com/r/OpiatesRecovery/s/J2J4d2wcN0

I'm starting to taper my cocodamol tablets. Vary between 2 to 4 (30/500) a day. Now down to 1. My mood is low and I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now.

How did folk manage to push through the mental stuff? Is going cold turkey a better option?

Since i quit opioids (specifically oxy) in june with the help of my parents i have asked to have narcan in the house just in case. but they dismiss me, their reasoning being that if i see it as a necessary precaution then i’m not 100% committed to staying clean.

Meaning if its really a necessity then they are going to put me through more intensive care until its not. I can’t get them to understand that its never not necessary for someone with my history.

I have no intention of going back to oxy but i’m also aware relapses can happen and OD risk is much higher after a period of abstinence. I’m just as scared as they are.

I’m no longer allowed cash for obvious reasons and every purchase i make on my debit card is seen by them. Plus even if i do get it somehow it’s of no use if they don’t know about it because they would have to be the ones to administer it should somrthing happen.

Do i bring this up with the specialist we’ve been consulting? idk what to do, every option makes them lose trust in me and will result in less freedom. Any help would be appreciated.

Hey folks.

So… life got to me bad these last several months. One parent’s dementia advanced severely and I had to sort out Medicaid and get them into a facility asap while my other parent kinda shut down and complained the entire time. Lost months of work over this because I’m also chronically ill. On top of it, my partner had become increasingly abusive in almost all ways, the stress led to a relapse of my illness and the pain symptoms first. I’m the only one earning money and I can’t handle the pressure of this at all.

I always keep a small emergency amount of p20s (~4 max per month, I cut them into quarters) for my periods, I have pretty bad endo and doctors just seem to ignore the pain I report. So… Okay. Whatever. But after my period about three months ago… I remembered the mental relief along with the physical that got me hooked the first three times.

I fucking relapsed. I’m ashamed. I just couldn’t take it. I hated being in my own home. I hated living with a parent who left me to pick up the mess of their own marriage (the dementia parent abused me so working on helping them with zero support felt like extra torture, honestly). Work simply wasn’t frequent enough to distract me. Every time I’d work at home on something creative that I loved, my partner would ruin it or center themselves somehow.

So my stupid ass relapsed. And I have to hold myself accountable for that.

As of now, since I bought more than my “limited amount” (which, fuck, I was so good and strict about it before my life crashed down on me again) after I realized I missed the “disconnecting from reality” sensation due to desperation, I have 11 p40s ER and 4 p20s IR.
I need to get off. I’ve done suboxone tapers twice. I can’t do it again. The first time was smooth, it was a staggered taper over the course of about eight months and it worked well. The second time? Not so much. I didn’t have the patience nor the privacy to stagger taper properly or as long as the first time. But I survived.

As for my daily intake, it varies. I guess anywhere between 10-20 mg, some days ~30-40 spread throughout the day. I know it’s a low mg but I’m a very petite person.

Today I went down a bit. I took a tiny piece of an ER before bed last night (this morning I guess, technically… I mainly do night shifts so my schedule is wacky, and didn’t dose again until maybe an hour ago (~8pm). Normally I’d have taken 5mg of IR the moment I got up. But I kind of just let myself sit with the discomfort as long as I could. The dose I took was too small to make me feel “relief” but enough to stop my body before it freaked out.

I’ve gotten off of it without subs before once. I remember a near week of brain fog, fatigue with bad RLS so no rest, and of course, the horrible stomach problems.

I don’t know if I’m breaking rules asking for advice and I’m sorry if I am. I just need a plan and supplement suggestions maybe? I have nobody to talk to about this irl.

Idk how to do this in a way that won’t alarm my elderly parent or tip off my abusive partner (both former opiate addicts but, FAR higher doses than I dare to take. So at least one would recognize the signs, I’m sure, and idk what my partner will do. I know he’ll accuse me of lying and cheating or some nonsense. And I know. I am working on getting them out of my life but it’s just too many things right now to focus on him)

Anyway.
I’m sorry. I shared a lot. I just want to be free of this and I’m scared. When I’m sober life is too much. When I’m high I hate myself for sliding backwards yet again.
I appreciate your time if you read this mess. ❤️

Hello, I'm not seeking medical advice, just asking about personal experience.I made an account just for help and advice. I'm in a terrible situation. I need help from sober people who have experienced this. I've been sober from everything over a year, have the privilege of seeing my children and also getting to the end of my legal issues because I've done so well. Well I guess not well enough, I have a huge, secret and I'm in hell. I need help from people who know. I started working at a gas station a few months back, and started taking these stupid, God awful Waka Mit pills. I didn't use the powder. I don't know if these are 7o or not.They're advertising them so innocently and I'll be honest I fell in. I am now taking 3 70 mlg pills a day, can't sleep without them. my significant other is 10×s worse. In this situation I cannot go to a rehab or use methadone or Suboxone and I can't lose all my progress over this. I'm so heart broken and afraid I know I started this, but I need help. The withdrawals symptoms are going to keep me from working and I want to stop and so does he. I never should've started this, I tried to cold turkey them and I got 12 hours into it and I couldnt go any further. I feel like a failure. Mental state crashing. I'm pretty sure they are about to stop selling them anyway. Even if they dont I'm tired of this. Is there any hope to do this myself or will I crash and lose it all.

Hey guys,
I’ve been taken oxy for over a month now. My doses started to get silly. 10/11 x 80mg oxys per day for a month with no days off.
I took my last dose on Saturday because I wanted to get clean.
On Sunday I had cold sweats, insomnia, diarrhoea, restless legs and I was freezing all day.
On Monday I couldn’t take it anymore and took about 6mg of xanax over 3 doses and managed to pretty much sleep the day away. It’s now Tuesday and withdrawals are back in full effect. I can barely leave bed, constantly yawning, too hot, too cold, can’t stop using the toilet. Should I use some more xanax today and then tomorrow I will be 3 days clean from Oxy?
I’m slightly worried however as I have had xanax withdrawals before (with seizures) and really don’t want to trigger those again but 2 days can’t hurt right?
I also have about 20 oxy 80s left over and was wondering if a taper might be a better idea but I’m nearly 3 days clean and think I should keep on battling?
Please let me know your thoughts.
thank you guys, I’m in absolute agony here.

10mg oxy twice daily. One at 10am one at 6 pm. Been on for 12 months. My last was 24 hours ago. Don't feel very well. Not sure how you high dose people stop.

Did those who made it 24 hours keep going on to 48, 72 etc?

Happy Tuesday everyone!
After waiting months for an appointment and dealing with multiple cancellations, I got another call this morning saying my doctor had to cancel again. Instead of accepting it, I pushed for another option and ended up getting scheduled with a different provider for Thursday.
A reminder: be your own advocate.
If something doesn’t feel right, ask questions, make calls, and speak up. Being persistent isn’t being difficult.
You’d be surprised how much can happen when you simply ask.
Take care of yourselves, and remember there’s always someone in your corner cheering you on.
How’s your day going so far?

Check in here!

Has anyone used these strips before? They are in micrograms not milligrams and seem conducive to the period of a taper when we get below 1 mg
I can’t believe I had not heard of them until today and that was bc they are used to treat restless legs

Hey all, happy Monday! Hope your day is going well.
It’s been a very early start for me and I’ve been nonstop up until now. I’m finally taking a lunch break. Honestly, it’s been the perfect pace today, busy enough that the day is flying by. When it’s slow, I feel like everything drags and takes forever. I’d much rather stay busy because the day goes faster and I feel more productive.
What are you guys up to today? How’s your Monday going?

Check in here!

Disclaimer: I am NOT looking for medical advice, just sharing a personal experience. Any personal experiences that relate would be welcome.

I'm tapering off of Tramadol, was down from 1200mg daily to 100mg daily, when my gallbladder decided to implode itself. I got acute cholecystitis and they've been giving me morphine or Oromorph for the pain, 5mg at a time I think, only a couple of times a day and I've had no tramadol while I've been here (since Sunday morning).
I'm really angry that I might've sent myself way back in my taper. I don't know where I'm up to and I've really got myself in a mess upset about the situation.

I haven't had my last sublocade shot since November and I'm constanty anxious and sick to my stomach. Sometimes I have no idea what is making me anxious. I feel as if something is wrong or bad is going to happen. Idk if it's sublocade related or something else, I'm hopeless that it'll get better

I’m almost 2 years into a Oxy habit. Long story short it started after a traumatic event and all the sudden things that come with that particular time in my life.

Fast forward 2 months ago I finally approached my GP and explained everything from how much I was using daily to where I got the pills from - she wanted to see if I could taper down from 100mg SR so she has been prescribing this for a few months.

It’s a mental battle Every. Singe. Day. Some days I take more and get angry so then take less the next…rinse and repeat.

I reached out to Drug and Alcohol (Australia) and had an appointment with an addiction psychiatrist and she suggested a fast induction to the Bupe injection.

Has anyone started a taper a bit wobbly then been able to get on a straight line?

I’m TERRIFIED of having to be in withdrawals for the bupe induction - could anyone give me their experience with induction?

I’m worried about how I’ll feel on the injection etc but maybe I’m overthinking the whole thing.

I have a new psychologist and psychiatrist which I start seeing in a few days to get on top of the mental health/trauma as I know these turn ON when you quit.

Just like everyone on here I’m so desperate to get off this, it’s causing havoc on my physical and emotional wellbeing.

I am currently about to start my detox tomorrow. I was buying what is supposed to be oxy 30s. Was always a mixture like the m30,a51,alg,k9 so I don't get how if it were all pressed that it would be all different ones and colors. I even would get the little Yellow ones sometimes. Never felt like fent at all which I used to do alot of in 2018 and quit fully. Relapsed after some surgeries. I was doing over 10 a day and past 2 days i did 5 yesterday and 4 today hoping it'll help at least a little so I can take the sub for 5 to 7 days like they do in detox just a rapid sub taper. I can't go to detox at the moment so have to do this at home before i lose it all and get deeper into this hell cycle.

I've tried a few times to stop with subs and 2 months ago i stopped for 2 weeks with subs only fot 7 days. Thing is subs used to take away at least 90% of withdrawals. Now it only helps a little. I tried a week ago but waited 24 hours took 1mg made it a tiny worse but not really much worse then an hour later took another 1mg and did the same which was a little worse. I can't keep doing this and have to stop this asap. Any tips ? Like should I take even less sub at first then yo it a little every hour afyer waiting at least 24 hours? I have an old script of 5mg flexeril, clonodine, few subs,some gabapentin, and melatonin only. I have some benzos but been prescribed them for years and tapering becuase i hit tolerance and they don't really do mich anymore so not sure if that will help me.

So does flexeril actually help? What dises have ya'll taken if it did help? Any tips om starting sub without precipitated withdrawal? O noticed when I first relapsed i was doing a few a day like 4 or 5 tops and I'd be able to take su. Less than 24 hours and felt great. Now I do alot more besides these last 2 days. I don't get it why did subs work so well same pills and person I got from but blow subs seem to not help much and im terrified of precipitated withdrawal. Got it bad years ago and got ptsd from it. I cant do Bernese method becuase i have no more 30s or much money at all. I don't know if there's weird crap in them now or something w.e it is I dont even think it's fent maybe some weird research chemicals. I just feel so stuck and ashamed with guilt. I jad 6 years almost with nothing fully clean and I messed that all up like a fool.

Im exhausted and just want out so please anyone with tips and if the flexeril will even help at all ir make restless legs worse? Please anyone with help is so appreciated. I am NOT seeking medical advice just peoples own real experiences. All these dr.s want to do is shove subs down your throat and they don't think percip happens much. It's like they have no clue how to treat this now. They need to make methadone easily prescribed for a week or something but nope its always subs for everything now a days. I have to work with what I got though. Sorry for the rant, I'm just scared and feel stuck and hopeless 😔. I HAVE to do it for real this time and live normally now. Thank you for anyone who responds to this.

Again I am NOT looking for medical advice, just peoples experiences.

I’m going from 3mg dilaudid taken orally (fast acting) to 1mg. How bad is this gonna be? My doctor isn’t allowing comfort meds. So any other tips are great

Hey everyone, Happy Saturday! Hope your weekend is going well so far.
The wildfire smoke has rolled back in today, so it’s pretty dark and hazy outside, and we’re supposed to get some rain later too. Not exactly a great day to be outdoors. I’m running a few errands and checking in on how my sister is settling into her new apartment.
I was at the grocery store earlier and noticed they’re already putting out pumpkin spice coffee creamer. Of course I grabbed one. Chobani makes a great one 😉 It feels like every year the fall stuff shows up earlier and earlier. I love fall, but we’re still in the middle of July!
What are you guys up to this weekend?

Check in here!

I made a post on here 2 years ago asking how people have gotten clean and stayed clean and I mentioned how I was completely against mat and I didn’t want to go that route. 2 years later I am finally finally clean and sober and doing the mat program . I also within a year went from oxys to smoking fet 😭 but methadone has saved my life honestly. I’ve quit so many times and only stayed sober for a couple weeks before going right back but this time I’ve been sober for 3 months and I feel absolutely amazing. It feels incredible to wake up and not have to feel sick and like you need something right away to get the day started, to actually have your own money and lastly to get the people you love back.. ur personality back.

If you’re in the process or you’re trying to get sober please keep going!! It took me 7 years to get it right and now here I am ((:

74 days sober.
I never imagined how much of recovery would have nothing to do with the substance itself.
The cravings get talked about. Withdrawal gets talked about. But the guilt… the guilt is something I wasn’t prepared for. I’ve talked ok the group about the guilt I felt for my actions

I carry guilt every single day. Guilt for the choices I made. Guilt for living with a secret. Guilt for feeling like I wasn’t the person I wanted to be.
I work in a profession where people know me and respect me. I was terrified that if anyone found out, they would only see my addiction and not the person I’ve always tried to be. I never told my employer, and I still wrestle with that decision. The shame of carrying that secret has been one of the heaviest parts of my recovery.

The only person who knows is my husband.
He’s been supportive from the beginning, and I’ll always be grateful for that. But now it’s almost like none of it ever happened. We don’t really talk about it anymore, and while I know that’s probably his way of moving forward, I’m still carrying this every single day.
Recovery can be incredibly lonely. But to him when I decided to get sober, that was the end of it.
.
Everyone else gets to move on because my addiction is no longer visible. But I don’t get to move on that easily. I still wake up every day and consciously choose sobriety. I still carry the guilt. I still wonder if I’ll ever fully forgive myself.

From the outside, my life looks the same. I go to work. I take care of my family. I keep the house running. I do the kids extracurriculars and sports. I smile. I laugh. I do everything I’ve always done.
But inside, I’m rebuilding who I am.

One thing I’ve learned is that addiction doesn’t always fit the stereotypes people have in their minds. Sometimes it’s hidden behind someone who appears to have it all together. Sometimes the biggest battle is the one no one else can see.
Today, I’m 74 days sober.
I’m proud of that, even if I’m still learning how to let go of the guilt. I’m proud because I chose to stop. I’m proud because I’m doing the work, even on the days no one notices. And maybe one day, I’ll stop defining myself by the worst decision I ever made and start believing that recovery says more about my character than addiction ever did.
If you’re carrying guilt in recovery too, I hope you know you’re not the only one.

Hey everyone, happy Friday! We made it. Hope your day is going well.
Even though I recently started a new job, a friend of mine reached out and asked if I’d be interested in interviewing at a 90-day treatment program where he’s the director. The job is about 30 minutes from home, and honestly I’m relatively happy where I am right now, but he told me if I came in for an interview, he could make it worth my while.
I agreed to sit down and talk with them next week. The interesting thing is I’ve wanted to get back into this field for quite a while, and I actually had a dream about it recently, so it’s kind of funny how this opportunity suddenly appeared. We’ll see what happens.
Anyway, what are you guys up to today?

Check in here!

I started a GLP1 in February and have only used once. I'm reaching four months today and since that one slip, I have not wanted to use at all and have had access to them. This glp1 has had me realize something in my brain was screaming to calm down, maybe undiagnosed ADHD? I wish these glp1s were around years ago and could have saved lives.

Anyone else on a glp1 and recovering from opiate user?

July 17, 2026 for my own accountability