Hello everyone,
First of all, sorry for the long post, I just had to get it all off my chest somewhere. I understand it if it's too long to read for many of you.
I'm completely new here. I am so tired of my situation that I am just looking for any way out, so I figured I'd look up "Money" on Reddit, join this sub, put my story out there, and maybe somebody has some golden advice for me. I've got nothing to lose, so here goes nothing.
I'm currently 30 years old. I'm from the Netherlands. After high school / secondary education, I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, so I took some time off to travel, in the hopes of finding out what I wanted to do in life. I did not want to take out a massive loan from the government to finance a bachelor's degree if I wasn't sure that I'd obtain it.
Unfortunately, after years of traveling and working random jobs in different countries, I'm now 12 years older, and haven't moved an inch forward in my financial situation since I was 18.
Over the years, I've dealt with gambling addiction, drug addictions, alcohol addiction, etc. Since I was about 25, I've managed to turn all of that around, and I am now over 4 years clean from all drugs and alcohol, and I've been working extremely hard on my health since about 1.5 year.
I've constantly been struggling financially all my life, and can't even count how many times I've been *completely* broke to the point of not even being able to buy food anymore. I'd literally have to choose between putting my last $5 towards gas or a meal for the day.
Last year, I got married to my beautiful wife from Mexico whom I met during my travels. This also cost us a lot of money. Our situation sucks now, because even though we just got married, we can't even be together due to my financial circumstances. She is currently working in Canada because she has bills to pay and she doesn't have a permanent residency here in The Netherlands. I've been forced to move back in with my parents here in The Netherlands because I literally couldn't survive anymore in the situation I was in and the bills that were stacking up.
Moving in with my parents definitely saved me, and I know that I'm blessed to even have that option, but obviously, it's not where I want to be. I do not have a house, a vehicle, a job, any assets apart from about 1000 euros in my bank account. I managed to get a job as a window washer here after applying to like 50+ different jobs, but that turned out to be an extremely toxic environment, and they didn't extend my contract after 6 months anyway due to "a lack of work" for me.
Now, I've been unemployed again since March, constantly applying to any job i can apply to with my profile, but it just seems freaking impossible to get a job here. Every single position I can apply to has 100+ candidates applying, and they always give me a generic answer that they've decided to move ahead with other, more suitable candidates.
Even if I do get a job here, it's just a minimum wage job, because any high paying job requires a degree of some sort, which I don't have. I also don't have the money to study, even if I wanted to.
I know it probably comes across as just a bunch of excuses, but I'm so lost at this point. I just don't see a path to financial success. I wish I had some glorious business idea or had an innovative mind and knew what to do and could just do it.
I've been going to the gym extremely consistently now and have made great progress. Working on my physical health is very straightforward. All I have to do is just show up every day and be consistent and stick to what I know is good for me. I wish financial health worked the same way, but I just have absolutely no idea what to do.
If I knew what to do and that I just had to do it consistently, I'd do it. But I feel so trapped, like the only thing I can do is keep applying for shitty jobs in the hopes of making minimum wage. Which is better than nothing, but realistically doesn't get me anywhere either.
This whole situation is starting to take a toll on my mental health now, because I feel like a failure for not being able to provide for my wife and enjoy our life together, and living with my parents at 30 years old on the other side of the planet from her, still broke as hell despite having fixed all my health issues and struggles with addiction.
Our future together seems to be falling apart before it has even started. She can only migrate to the Netherlands if I have a minimum 12-month job contract. We don't even know if we want to live and settle here. She has responsibilities in Mexico, but I'm not a permanent resident there either and my Spanish isn't amazing. She is now considering working in the US next because she says she has no options since I don't have a job and she can't move here.
I can't believe how much money (or rather the lack thereof) is controlling my life right now. I've been so stressed about all of this, but now I've come to a point where I've pretty much just surrendered to it all because stressing is not helping me get anywhere either.
I've spent years looking into alternative ways to make money, starting online businesses, dropshipping, flipping, etc. but never figured out how to actually do it. My mind has just gone completely blank now, I think I'm just overwhelmed with stress and I'm so tired of it all.
Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated. I am willing to try anything at this point.