My husband died unexpectedly and I work a lot to support my son and I with little help. My family and husbands family are living hand to mouth and still working in their late 70s.

My work has gotten much more demanding lately. Longer hours more work etc but I’m lucky to have it. It pays decent and gives decent insurance.

My sons pre k had some kind of art fashion show event and I couldn’t make it bc it was 3pm on a Tuesday, and I work until 5 and the boss made it VERY clear we are not to leave early unless it’s urgent.

I told them I can’t go. I got such a fucking guilt trip over it. I get guilt trips over not putting my son in activities. I’m doing my damn best to survive and I genuinely 100% feel no guilt over this.

“Oh it’s so good for our students if parents participate” side eye.

Don’t you think I’d rather be there?!

Is it sad for my son? Yes. But it’s this or we are homeless. There are no safety nets. There is no help. I get 8 days PTO including sick time and I’m not using it for this.

It just makes me angry and I needed to vent over it. When the employee gave me a look I asked her if she wanted to pay my rent. No? Then stop with the attitude.

And yes I’m looking for new flexible work for a year now but the economy bites.

update: thank you all for the comments. I understand the rules and that there must be no exception. I guess I am more upset about the way she talked at us and walked away while I was talking. but we all have bad days I hope hers got better. For me and my son, I just got the game. we will definitely make better memories with it.

my son 4 and half and his friend 5 and half play at the public library 3-4 times a week. both are very mature for their age, they love reading books and playing board games. those two are my sons favorite activities. If I were to seat and read to him full day he would be content, we also play board games almost every night and he has won uno more times than i can count. Anyways today at the library, my son and his friend were playing SORRY( a board game) and the librarian came and interrupted them and made us return the game because the game is meant for older kids and it should be left for them. I tried explaining to her no one is playing with it and if anyone came and asked for it we will give it back. But she just said those are the rules and to put back the game and walked away while I was talking. the encounter makes me angry the more i think about it. am I overreacting?

I have a 4.5 year old and a 10 month old baby. My 4 year old has been asking me for months if he can share a room with his baby brother. I've told him that the baby goes to bed earlier then he does, and wakes up before him. I'm worried that they may wake each other up. I didn't share a room with my siblings growing up, so I have no experience with it. What are your pros/cons?

ETA: He wants to share a room because he sleeps much better (and I think feels safer) when someone is in the same room with him, like in a hotel. He's been having bad dreams lately.

Why are people downgvoting this??

I have been married to my husband for 2 months. We only got married because I was pregnant. Lately I am seriously considering divorce.

I knew he wasn’t the cleanest but we moved in together anyway due to the baby. He doesn’t clean or do any chores unless prompted. Prompting him to do chores makes him resentful and sulk. Sometimes he doesn’t talk to me for days and other times he tells me that I’m being “awful” and demanding and that he’s not my servant (and other cruel words).

He naps for several hours every day while I cook and clean and if I suggest a shorter nap or ask for help, I usually get in trouble (silent treatment, etc).

I’m considering staying just so that I don’t have to move while 8-9 months pregnant and so that I can have two sources of income while I lose 50% of mine on maternity leave. I accidentally brought up the idea of divorce last night and I am now getting the silent treatment and refusal to help with anything around the house. Should I follow through on my plans now or wait until after the birth?

She sends viral baby tips instead of asking about the baby.

She hasn't come to see my daughter since May, hasn't asked a single genuine question about how she's developing, and doesn't know her routine at all.

Instead, she seems me out-of-touch Facebook reels about babies (that she certainly thinks are helpful), but most of which don't even apply to my baby or our situation.

For example, this morning she sent a video with the caption, "Accidentally slept 6 hours straight last night. Now they’re acting all crazy like I’m going to do it again." ...celebrating a baby sleeping 6 hours like it’s a miracle. Meanwhile, my baby has been sleeping 10-11 hours straight every single night for probably 2 months. She has no clue because she doesn't care to ask.

She lives less than 10 minutes away and has held her 3 times since she was born in April. The last time was May 4th. She was here to visit on May 24th, but had to rush out the door after 5 minutes because hey new husband (a rant for another day) called to say he cut his finger with a power saw.

My dad is here once a week or so, even if it's brief (they live a few doors down from one another) and this weekend she sent him with a bag of things to give us, which included a onesie that reads, *"I'm not SPOILED, my Grandma just* ***loves*** *me!"*

It pissed me off so much...and I put it straight into my donation bag with the things she's outgrown already. Like hell I'm going to put that on my daughter, who is going on 4 months old and her grandma who "spoils" her hasn't held her since she was 3 1/2 weeks!

She tried to visit on June 18th, by texting me, "coming up soon, waiting on Daddy!" and 2 minutes later, "on our way" - meanwhile I was frantically texting her back that it wasn't a good time, could we plan something, even later that evening? Or Saturday? She got out of the car, said that that night she had guests coming in and she had an event on Saturday. "We'll choose another time," she said. Then silence for a week until she sent more baby reels.

Practically the same scenario happened 2 weeks ago, except her response to my wanting to plan a little was, "is it okay to come see you guys at 1:30 PM on Friday?" - when I again suggested in the evening or on Sunday, same thing: guests checking in Friday, going to symphony fundraiser Sunday. "We will have to figure out another time," she says. I replied, "Okay, no problem. Let us know when you want to try for another time." She's texted me since about diarrhea lettuce, wildfire smoke, and of course, baby tips, but no scheduling a visit.

She can find time to be a church elder and an innkeeper and a historical society board member and a borough councilwoman and fly 3 states away to visit her new husband's family...but here I am right up the hill and I get the leftover, minimal effort scraps.

My cousin miscarried and the baby’s due date is tomorrow. She’s having a rough time. What can I send or bring over? (Food isn’t an option) I’ve never miscarried so I want to be sensitive to the situation. Thank you!

Hi everyone,

I recently read this article: https://www.voxmentalhealth.com/blogs/the-hidden-emotional-toll-of-duty-sex-in-long-term-relationships

As someone who experienced this in my early postpartum days it was very validating to read this.

I often see other moms posting on Reddit about having a low sex-drive postpartum, or having worries and negative feelings because their husbands needs are not being met. Not every one of these women is experiencing coercion, but this was the beginning of it for me.

Emotional coercion is a real thing. Marital coercion is a real thing. Here are some examples of what it can look like:

• Your husband is pouting or whining or giving you the silent treatment every time you say no (this is emotional punishment).
• He's keeping track of when the last time was and using it as an argument (this is using guilt/obligation)
• He's questioning your love or commitment or attraction to him
• He's asking repeatedly after you said no
• He tries to negotiate with something else like "just a BJ" or just touching/groping
• becoming cold or angry after a rejection
• Making you responsible for his emotions over the rejection.

Please don't engage in physical intimacy just to make your partner feel better or because you are worried about the relationship. Please don't put it on a calendar and "just do it" for the sake of getting him to stop his advances. We have plenty of evidence now that having duty sex further lowers libido and is just not good for you in multiple ways. It was traumatic for me.

I know we are given the 6-week clearance, but really it doesn't mean anything if you are not ready.

I’m really angry and upset at how my parents have shown they prioritize themselves during an emergency and I have to vent. I know I’m lucky enough to have parents who are healthy and live close by.

I have 3 kids. Ages 6, 3 and 10 months. Last week I had an emergency surgery. It was the kind of thing no one is really prepared for, especially as a parent. I asked my parents to watch the kids while I went to the ER. As soon as I was admitted and we knew what was going on, my husband drove home to put our kids to bed and let my parents go home to sleep.

Surgery was in the morning and my husband brought the kids to visit in the morning and my parents visited too.

I was discharged the next morning and my husband picked me up from the hospital. My husband works a typical office job and had to ask off 2 days for all of this. I also tried my best to recover at home while my husband wrangled the kids. I’m not allowed to lift more than 10 pounds so I can’t carry any of the kids. The only thing we asked is for my parents to take my eldest to his sports meet for an hour on Saturday morning.

It’s Tuesday and nothing. I have had countless friends offer to pickup groceries, send door dash, come over to help with the kids, etc.

I’m a stay at home mom and don’t have childcare. My husband has a fiercely competitive job and we didn’t want him to ask off more than he had to. Thank god I’m healing well or else he’d probably have to take this week off.

My dad is retired and my mom hasn’t worked for 20 years. They don’t have health issues. They’re early 60s and don’t have hobbies or volunteer or anything that takes up their calendar. I haven’t gotten a single text to ask how I’m doing or to see if we need anything. Much less an offer to help me with the kids or maybe take 1 or 2 of the older ones to the park so I can relax with the baby.

As a mom, I can’t imagine knowing my child went through surgery and can’t lift their children and just sitting at home watching tv and playing on my tablet. But that’s what happened.

I’m incredibly hurt and frustrated. I knew I couldn’t necessarily rely on them but I really thought in an emergency they’d come through.

I think I’m just writing this to vent and maybe see if anyone has been through anything similar.

TLDR: I’m upset at my parents for knowing I had surgery and can’t lift my kids and just being okay with not offering any help or checking in. My village is my friends and I have to come to terms with it.

***if anyone is wondering I had to hire a babysitter to help out but obviously I’m still at home alone a lot with the kids and could really use my parent’s support****

We finally made it to the other side of my childs heart journey. From two appointments a week for the first 6 months, to every 6 months, to yearly, to the months spent preparing for their repair surgery and recovery after, we just got the news that we’ve graduated from yearly visits to every 3-5 years.

Its been a long 5 years, but they made it through like an absolute champ 🩷

To start, he has ALWAYS been a low sleep needs baby. Even as a newborn. Didn’t matter what we tried, he was always up until close to 9 pm as a newborn. Meanwhile, people have their babies and toddlers down for the night at like 7 pm….Anyways, my son is now almost 18 months old. I keep him busy all day with so many outings/activities. He has my husbands demeanor for sure -super energetic 😭 anyways, he goes to bed at 10 pm and wakes up around 7 am. Btw he’s still waking up 2-4x a night for a diaper change or sip of water. He takes 1 nap from 12-2 pm. It used to be 3-3.5 hours and I cut it shorter thinking maybe it would improve the nighttime sleep. Nope. Still no changes. He just went down at 10:00 pm tonight and I am beyond exhausted. It’s just an insane schedule and idk what else to do.

Does anyone else feel old even though they know they’re young? I feel like between my kids, job, and husband I’m run ragged. Despite working out every morning and having a skincare routine, fine lines around my eyes are increasing. Work used to be inspiring, but now I see younger coworkers get praised and promoted like I used to before I had kids. I’ve asked my husband (also 32) if he feels “old” and he said no—I’m sure this has to do with how society treats men versus women at this age. My life is 100% responsibility all the time. It’s hard to see my parents age as well. I feel like a drastically different person now than I did at 28. Sometimes songs from college come on the radio and it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I'm currently crying while my husband tries to put our 12 week old baby to sleep after I tried and couldn't take the crying anymore.

I feel like I don't understand him at all I don't get when he is tired, when I should be getting him ready to sleep, when he's overtired, etc.

I was trying to follow his wake windows, but when it got closer to 1.5h awake and I tried to put him to sleep he cried a lot. So I thought oh that's too much, I waited too long. But now, if I try to get him ready around an hour after he wakes up, the same thing happens.

This specific case, he had been awake for an hour and ten minutes, his eyebrows were red and he was getting fussy. I thought this must be the time. He has become very difficult to put to sleep anywhere other than the carrier. I strap him in and he starts screaming his head off. I feel like if I shush or speak to him, it makes him cry worse. At this point, he is red and sweating from the crying but will not calm down, no matter if I am trying to hold him, speak to him, walk with him. It's been about 15-20 mins by now. I managed to calm him temporarily while sitting on a yoga ball, but then he started screaming his head off again and I just couldn't anymore. I'd been trying to hold it together and not cry, but at that point I just couldn't anymore. I unstrapped him, placed him in his bassinet and walked away crying my eyes out.

My husband took over and managed now to put him to sleep within 10 minutes and minimal crying this time.

I just feel like a failure, like I can't do anything right. He is breastfed, I'm always home with him and I can't even calm him down and put him to sleep. I have no family close, and I missed out when my friends and family had children as I've lived abroad for the past 10 years.

My husband was off today, but he will be at work tomorrow and Friday, and I'm already starting to dread having to be home alone. I was going out every day with the baby, trying to meet people, but now I feel anxious about leaving the house in case a) he starts screaming before falling asleep or b) start screaming after waking up, which he also does.

I'm at my wits end, please give me some advice, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I love my baby, I just wish I understood him better.

Y’all, my 4 year old has developed this new skill where she unlatches her chest buckle while I’m driving. I’ve pulled over, calmly explained why it’s unsafe, and rebuckled her multiple times. She‘s definitely in a boundary pushing phase 😅.

But all the suggestions online are about not going to the fun place, turning around and going home, or stopping in a safe space and not going until she’s buckle, etc. My child is only doing this when we‘re *on the way home*. She‘s procrastinating and acting out because she wants to stay doing “fun” things. (We are not short on fun things at home.)

I’m not to the point of using aftermarket products on her car seat, but am looking for some boundary setting ideas that will help with her specific reasons for this behavior. (Not wanting to go home.) TIA!!

Hey everyone. I’m due with my second baby in 10 weeks. We’re already covered on some items (crib, tummy time mat, baby swing, car seat cover) that my first has outgrown and I’ve already purchased a new infant car seat and dresser and have slowly started stocking up on more wipes and diapers. But what are some small things that I’m missing?

So far on my list of things I still need to get I have: bottles, bottle drying rack, a new thermometer, girl clothes (I saved all of our son’s clothes and put the gender neutral/not super boyish clothes aside for her, but obviously want some girl clothes for her too), mittens, socks, head bows (I know not a necessity).

I feel like I don’t remember anything that we used for our son when he was a baby so I’m really struggling here.

My neighbor's child was reading something off my phone the other day. The text is not complicated, any child should be able to read it. But he was mouthing a lot of the words and still couldn't really tell me what it meant after. He's 12.

It got me thinking because I've noticed it with a few kids his age - a few of my son's classmates included

Is this something other parents are dealing with? What does it actually look like in your house?

My sweet baby boys first birthday is coming up & i’ve got so many ideas i’m bouncing around, I just want it to be truly special!

I’m a Black mom about a year postpartum, and I’m genuinely curious about your experiences. I’ve noticed that many white women I know or see online appear to lose their baby weight relatively quickly. Was that your experience? If so, do you think it was genetics, diet, breastfeeding, exercise, or something else?
I’ve been breastfeeding for 13 months, and my weight hasn’t come off at all. I always hear that breastfeeding helps with weight loss, but that definitely hasn’t been my experience. I’m not trying to stereotype or offend anyone—I know everyone’s body is different. I’m just genuinely curious about your personal experiences and whether you feel genetics or other factors played

My 5 month old finally figured out sleep training and has gotten on a good schedule and naps around the same time each day. He goes down independently as well.

I’m a pretty social and family oriented person and my question is, how do you go out and do stuff and still have a life but not ruin your baby’s routine for the day and wreak havoc?

I’m struggling wanting to do things or spend the night places because I’m worried he won’t sleep other places or will nap way too long in the car rides or nap way before his wake window ends.

Please consider this your official invitation to the Fake Moms Club - the club for moms who "aren't real moms" because they have experiences outside the toxic Instagram perfect mom ideal. Flip the bird to the uppity motherhood gatekeepers and embrace your imposterhood.

My credentials: I've been told I'm not a real mom because I don't breastfeed.

My best friend isn't a real mom because she had an elective C section.

**Why are you a fake mom?**

[Note: this is in no way poking fun at people who are proud of having a painkiller free birth or of breastfeeding, for example. Only those who are toxic and try to gatekeep the motherhood experience by putting down other mothers].

so this is half a vent half a genuine question, idk.

my kids are 3 and 6. saturday used to be the day we actually did stuff together. now saturday is the day everything that didnt get done all week lands on me at once.

by the time i get the laundry going, the mowing done, the beds weeded, snacks made, its 2pm and ive barely looked at them. my 6yo asked me last weekend if we could do something "just us" and i said maybe after i finish the yard. she just went back to her tablet. that one stuck with me.

and its always MY list somehow. my husband will happily grill or take a kid to the park but the running list of what actually has to happen lives in my head only. the yard especially, i dont even know when it became my thing but here we are.

i know some of you are gonna say lower your standards and honestly fair. but the grass genuinely does need cutting every week this time of year, thats not me being precious.

how do you all claw back even a couple hours on the weekend. i feel like the household manager who occasionally waves at her own kids.

every single week there is a new cheap plastic trinket or some weird holiday craft with three pounds of loose glitter on it. It goes straight from the cubby to my purse to the trash can the second he's asleep. why are we still doing this in 2026? Please tell me I'm not the only one throwing this stuff away immediately

I really don't know what to say. Other than my son is so hard. I'm trying to figure it out. He is 4.5 years old and as of lately I'm pulling my hair out and questioning everything.

He is on a destructive streak. Takes his sister's things a ruins them. Messing up her puzzles, grabbing and throwing her toys she is playing with. If I ask him to do anything it's no and a hissy fit that becomes huge. Throwing anything in sight screaming and sometimes bites.

After he calms down I have him fix what he destroyed or if he throws his toy I take it for the rest of the day.

This morning he wanted jelly on his breakfast but I was finally able to make my food and told him when I'm done eating yes I can do that. He got upset and threw his breakfast on the ground. I allowed the dog to eat it and when he was calm we cleaned it up together and he had buttered toast. I really don't know what else to-do in those moments because he doesn't want help to calm down and it makes it worse.

He then a few minutes later took apart his sister's finished puzzle.

If I tell him to do anything it's 5 reasons why he can't do it or he says let me do this and this and this then I'll do it. When I say no and grab him to guide him to do it. His brain glitches out and he can't function and makes weird noises and facial features and hand gestures. Like his brain short circuits.

He is starting PreK with an IEP and Speech therapy. But I'm drained. I'm sad. I feel like I'm ruining him because my methods don't seem to work.

newborn and toddler with a fever. Has anyone else dealt with it? I feel like I’m at my breaking point.

I have a fresh three week old at home. We have been isolating to the max pretty much staying home except one wellness visit at the pediatrician. My two year old woke up with a high fever after nap yesterday and I’m devastated. This is the last thing I need. I developed a uti after birth, then antibiotic resistant mastitis, now this…. I just don’t want my newborn to get sick. We did everything right and my worst nightmare still happened. I’m just looking for other families that have dealt with this? We’re in a three story townhome and toddler is in the living room sleeping in a pack and play with dad and I’m upstairs with the newborn. We did this almost immediately after the fever but I’m afraid the damage is done. Newborn is eating ok and feels nice and cool for now, but I know all illnesses have an incubation period.

Hi, I am 25 years old and a mom to a 19 month old. I’m currently a sahm, but really want to get out there and start working. Not looking for a career right now, just something to get me started. I was wondering if any of you moms have worked at chickfila but specifically when your partner or husband gets home from work? I want to work but we don’t want to do daycare because of cost. I would be able to work 5-11pm if I were to be hired. The one closest to me closes at 12am so I guess 5-12 is when I’d be available week days and then obviously open availability on Saturday. Just wondering if anyone has done this before and how did it go? TYIA