I'm a 28F from a tier-3 engineering college, and I've been working as a software engineer for the last 5 years. I currently earn around 18 LPA, so objectively I know I'm doing okay.

But I often feel like I'm lagging behind when I'm around people from IITs or people who are exceptionally smart.

It's not even about coding or academics. For example, my ex was from an IIT. Through him, I learned things I didn't even know existed, like writing resumes in LaTeX. The way he approached problems, learned new things, and thought about everyday topics felt very different from mine.

It's not just career-related either. Even the books, movies, TV series, or random topics they discuss often make me realize I've never even heard of them.

Sometimes it makes me wonder whether I'm simply not intelligent enough, or whether I just didn't work hard enough at the right time in life.

The confusing part is that when I interact with friends from backgrounds similar to mine, our way of thinking and approaching things feels much more alike. So I keep wondering if this difference is because of the environment these people grow up and study in, or if I'm just romanticizing IIT and putting it on a pedestal.

For those of you who've studied at IITs or have worked closely with IITians:

Is there really a different culture or atmosphere that shapes the way people think?

Or is this just confirmation bias because I've met a few impressive people?

If you've felt behind intellectually, how did you bridge that gap?

I'm genuinely open to criticism if you think I'm looking at this the wrong way. I just want to understand whether this feeling is real or mostly in my head.