Obviously I'm asking those who hopped off the fence, decided to have a child, and actually managed to have one. I have many fears about having a child at home to care for, which is why I'm asking for people's experience.

wife (29) and I (29) have two 2 and under nephews who we adore. i’ve always loved kids as an older sibling of 3 sisters, my wife has more recently fallen in love with caring for little kids since our nephews were born. we watch them every week and while it’s exhausting we love it. bc we are CF we have so much time and energy to play with them, make them gifts, build them things etc. really struggling with the idea of whether we should focus on just putting all our potential parenting energy and attention into them, or possibly having one of our own. to the aunts and uncles out there, how did you decide if you should be parents yourselves?

I heard from many moms (and dads too) thay you never stop worrying about your kids. Is that true? Like I don't wanna have kids and be in a constant state of worry for the rest kf my life.

I understand worrying about them as babies, school aged children and teens, or if your adilt child has disabilities . But other than that, the worrying has got to stop at some point right? Like what if your kid is 35 years old and doing well in life (is financially well off, healthy, has hobbies, married with kids of their own, has their own plave to live), will I really be worrying about my 35 year old grown ass adult kid? Or will I be 80 years old and STILL worrying about my kids instead of enjoying my retirement? Like constant angst and worry and stress isn't good for you

for the hundreds of things to consider when having a child, one that has consistently hung me up is the changes to my body. i know it is quite vain- but i am so scared to not only look different, but feel different. it seems some moms i see lose weight easily after birth, and some are very fit and active etc. i am currently quite fit and active and hate to think about being unable to do the things i enjoy. i know bodies change permanently after giving birth, but is it possible to still look and feel 90% as good as you did pre-pregnancy?

i am looking for stories or experiences from moms who were able to continue to do the things they loved and somewhat return to a pre-pregnancy weight. what was it like? how long did it take? thank you for your time, i really appreciate any responses.

Hi,

My husband and I don’t really talk about having kids but just wanted to get a sense of direction. My husband has a feeling he might have bipolar or adhd and wants to get it checked out. I actually think that before we even think about having kids we make sure that we have or don’t have certain illnesses. Is this something you all have experience with? My mother passed down depression to me and I think it is important to recognize that.

I’ve (f27) always considered myself childfree, when I was child I’d always say I never wanted kids, when I feel like it wasn’t as popular.

Lately, my grandfather passed away & my mum didn absolutely everything for him. He had 3 daughters & 2 did jackshit, only the 2nd one stepped up in the last few weeks.
But it got my thinking how I hope when I’m that age someone can look after me like that. My sister has always wanted a family, she went into teaching for it but the dating world is so tragic it just hasn’t happened and I also haven’t met anyone so we’re both single. We both also moved a state away from our parents so at times it can feel isolating.
Seeing our extended family was a shitshow, my auntie who didn’t help out at all complained the day after my grandfather died, in front of everyone about the cost of fuel, bc it’s about 1.5-2 hours drive. A drive my parents have made almost daily for weeks. And they are retired. She brought up their income and tried to move the date for laying my grandfather to rest just to suit herself.
Anyway, all my cousins have their own families now or are married. I’m feeling a bit lost in my decision, I mean, what if I do end up alone & on my heath bed with no one to help me. The guy next door from my grandfather was alone, he was coughing terribly making sounds that sounded like he was in pain and uncomfortable. While my grandfather was able to leave this earth peacefully thanks to my mum.

So, I know ppl say you can’t have kids just to have someone help you when you die, bc my family is a good example of that. 3 daughters only 1 genuinely cared for over 3 yrs to make the end comfortable. The others 1 did minimum & one did nothing but complain.

But what does everyone make of this ? I always thought well I can just pay ppl. Put myself in a nursing home but my mum had to tell the nurses to not take blood or no physio up until the day before he died.
Does anyone whose cf have plans themselves?

I’m not sure whether this has just shaken me up since the hospital visits and seeing my aunties act like that & knowing everything my mum did or if maybe I’m on the fence? But then I think in my regular life I was so certain on my decision, even when I was a kid I was adamant. I think death always has a way of shaking you up anyway.