My partner, B, and I have been together for nearly 12 years. She truly is everything I could ever ask for. She takes care of me, her mom, and both of my boys (4 and 9 when we met). She stepped in from day one and has been an amazing parent to both of them.

She has supported me and loved me when I have truly been unlovable. I had a very traumatic childhood, and my mental health was very, very bad. I really can’t explain why, but I was extremely resistant to getting any kind of help for the majority of our relationship.

Over the last year, I’ve really been working on my mental health. I have a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar, autism, and ADHD, and I started doing Spravato (ketamine) treatments for treatment-resistant depression. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m getting there one day at a time.

My whole life, I’ve never been good at giving gifts. I overthink it and get overwhelmed and can never make a decision. The closer the holiday/birthday gets, I get more and more anxious, which makes it even harder to make a decision. In the end, I usually end up freezing up and either not getting a gift or grabbing something last-minute that is just something that I think they’ll like.

That said, her birthday was the beginning of this month. I had been in-and-out of the hospital for 2 weeks before her birthday, so I was a little concentrated on my health, but I ended up not getting her anything for her birthday.

I feel terrible, and I don’t know how to make it up to her. She deserves so much better, but I feel like I always mess it up in the end.

All of that in mind, does anyone have any ideas for things that I can do to make it up to her? I thought about doing a make-up birthday on her half-birthday in January, but I have no idea what to even begin to plan for it.

I just want to make my partner feel as special and amazing as I think she is. She means the world to me, and I want to be the partner she deserves.

TL/DR - I suck at gifts - how do I make my partner feel special?

Hello! My parter and I have been together for over 3 years. Right now we are struggling with our period cycles. Right now when one of us is ovulating the other is on their period. It’s been very annoying for us when it comes to sex.
Has anyone tried a short term birth control to try and sync periods with their parter or anything else?

This is a thread to introduce yourself and make new friends!

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This is also a normal free talk megathread, so feel free to comment selfies and cat pictures and things like that. Happy Friday!

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness and respect, not debating, and general codes of conduct still apply, but go ahead and share any and all content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

Reminder: www.Imgur.com is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

Hey ladies! After a solid year of reflection after a big break up I got back out in the world and on the apps and started dating. Lots of beautiful women but I very quickly felt bored and uninspired by most.

I recently went on a few dates with a woman who is pretty, but not my usual type looks and personality wise. After two dates I already feel really comfortable around her, she is sooooo funny and I'm always laughing and shes easy to talk to and get deep without trauma dumping. She seems so sweet but still too early to tell. We had our first kiss and to my surprise I really really enjoyed it. it felt really natural.

I'm pleasantly surprised but wanted to hear other people's experiences with dating outside their type:)

Need advice from your fellow lesbians?

Ask away!

This is a thread for singles to chat and post selfies. Please keep photos safe for work.

Reminder: Imgur is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

This is a thread to introduce yourself and make new friends!

Please practice internet safety by being cautious of accounts with low karma and avoid sharing information that is overly private. Never send money or nude photographs to unverified people. Selfies can be faked so video chat is the best way to verify someone is genuine. When in doubt, trust your gut.

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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Today, I’ve turned 30 years old.

Before today… I knew I wanted to, & was going to spend my birth date reflecting on my life thus far in its entirety.

At 30, a major lesson I’ve been learning & dissecting is how to deal with grief & how it comes.

How I initially intended to spend my 30th, did not come to fruition unfortunately.

I experienced a severe case of grief back in March of this year & at this point in the year, i am still dealing with the effects of it.

Despite the things I did do leading up to today… I wish I could’ve experienced parts of turning 30 with people I care about where I currently live.

Outside of that, I’m nervous for what my 30s will present to me in terms of a work life, & my personal life. I want to flirt with the curiosities of my 30s. The what-ifs in their full capacity.

I want to discover more of who I am as a creative woman, & a lesbian who has fully embraced myself as one after trying to figure it out for 15 years, despite knowing at 14.

I want to fall in love with life. That’s not really something I’ve done before or at least have felt like I came close to that feeling before.

I want to know myself inside & out, without someone shaping my experiences to where I feel as if I don’t know myself. I know myself, better than anyone else.

My intentions for turning 30, was for me to feel a sense of belonging. “Belonging” looked like safety, laughter, & closeness with people I care about. Friends I spent a significant amount of time with in my free time.

Especially after moving states away from what I’m used to, crafting friendships in my adulthood, & really just finding my footing with this adulting thing.

My late 20s have been heavily centered around exploring how I identify as a demisexual lesbian, building what feels like community to me away from home, emotional vulnerability, rediscovering my creative identity through photography, cinematography, & graphic design, & trying to develop a life that I deserve for myself by the time I’m in my 40s & 50s that maybe I can even fit someone into later down the road, as well as other hidden parts of who I am as a person.

Trauma played a huge part in my 20s as well.

My grief took up space for a lot of those things, but I think the bigger picture is how I now choose to occupy those spaces at 30 for myself.

My 30s belong to the art I’ll make, how I identify as a lesbian, being gentle with myself, resting, healing, platonic relationships & the intimacy that comes with it, & a career change among a variety of other things.

I want to do everything that I want to do that brings me happiness without finding myself putting my emotional & mental state in the hands of someone who is making a tangible decision to feed my traumas back to me while knowing the negative impact those events had on me.

Turning 30 today doesn’t feel less special because I didn’t spend it with people I care about, but I think the special part is spending it with honesty.

Grief, growth, solitude, reciprocity, creativity, longing, yearning, all of those concepts I hope to genuinely discover through future interactions with people I haven’t met yet.

Moving forward… I just want to create & do well for myself in life, without feeling as if I’m solely surviving. I’m going to now allow myself the freedom to freely explore how I identify. I do not want to shrink myself to make someone else feel seen. I want to give myself a life of more peace, despite not having peace while dealing with my grief.

Here’s to good experiences in my 30s.

This is also a normal free talk megathread, so feel free to comment selfies and cat pictures and things like that. Happy Friday!

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness and respect, not debating, and general codes of conduct still apply, but go ahead and share any and all content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this question, but i'm posting anyways because i'm gay!

Hey y'all, I am 18 (F) and like to drink and eat weed gummies sometimes. And by sometimes I mean i've eaten maybe 3 in the past month and a half. I've been drunk maybe 3 times in the past couple years and I drink maybe two to three times per month. My girlfriend hates it. She doesn't want me to tell her that i'm drinking, she doesn't WANT me drinking, and she tells me that she's scared i'm going to do something dangerous, say something I shouldn't, or something is going to go wrong. She gets pretty mad at me and I don't really know what to do.

It's similar with the gummies i've taken. She doesn't like when I eat them. Also, just about every time i've been under the influence it has been with parents or some other guardian figure with me. I have never drank unsafely or recklessly. Not sure what to do? I've tried talking to her about how I do it just to make fun times more fun but she claims she's scared i'm going to start relying on it for my mental.

Help?

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

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Need advice from your fellow lesbians?

Ask away!

This is a thread for singles to chat and post selfies. Please keep photos safe for work.

Reminder: Imgur is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

There was a fun Twitter thread I LOVED but can’t find anymore that was like “things I think are butch lesbians” and it was stuff like drum sets, beavers, hammers, grilled cheese sandwiches, st. bernards etc and I want a femme version LOLL

so far I have the moon, birdbaths and gummy multivitamins if you have more ideas I really want them. You don’t have to be able to explain them it doesn’t need a direct tie to the culture it’s just a guttural feeling. Intuition.

(ALSO IF YOU KNOW WHAT THREAD IM TALKING ABT HAVE THE LINK CAN YOU SEND IT??)

This is a thread to introduce yourself and make new friends!

Please practice internet safety by being cautious of accounts with low karma and avoid sharing information that is overly private. Never send money or nude photographs to unverified people. Selfies can be faked so video chat is the best way to verify someone is genuine. When in doubt, trust your gut.

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness, respect and general codes of conduct still apply. But go ahead and share any content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

Reminder: www.Imgur.com is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

This is also a normal free talk megathread, so feel free to comment selfies and cat pictures and things like that. Happy Friday!

This is a thread that is less moderated than the rest of the subreddit. Our rules of treating one another with kindness and respect, not debating, and general codes of conduct still apply, but go ahead and share any and all content that may not fit in elsewhere, such as celebrity crushes, how your week has been, that cute photo of your cat, or a picture of yourself if you slept through last Wednesday’s megathread - anything goes (:

Reminder: www.Imgur.com is a great hosting site for sharing images via links in threads. Please be mindful of your username if it is different than your reddit handle, and to choose whether you would like your post public or hidden.

Hello everyone! I just need some advice, because I've been having a hard time in my social life and making friends, etc. I've been working on myself, both mentally and physically at the gym to work towards a body that I'll feel more confident in, making myself go to events solo (despite still being scared to try and start conversations), etc. I am also intending on starting therapy soon as well.

Despite all of this, I still feel hopeless for the future, afraid that women are going to want someone more interesting/more attractive (I try to be interesting but I still feel like many people lead much more eventful lives lol). So I'm trying to be content by myself in the meantime. But where is the novelty there when you've been doing everything by yourself: going to the movies, going out to eat, going on solo trips. Pride month especially has been difficult, as I don't want to go to any pride events by myself knowing I'll be seeing everyone with their friends and partners, so I've just been focusing on work, gym, etc. I've been to a pride event by myself and it just felt awkward to be honest 💀

Are there any suggestions as to how I can genuinely be content with being single for the time being and not feel sad at seeing couples? Like I hope I can find my one and only one day but I know i have to "love myself" first, and there's no telling how long it'll be before I find someone 😅 and I'm 28, so I feel like time is tickin'. Any advice is appreciated.

Instead of asking "how do you make friends?" - I'd like to know what makes you consider someone for a friend, especially those of use over 30, 35? How do you go about hanging out? What fo you enjoy about them? Why do you keep them close?

​

I am trying to make more sapphic friends because I realized, after those I had started families, I was left with some guy friends I gamed with and they start to get bolder despite knowing I'm a lesbian.

Vi muitos posts aqui falando sobre como a violência doméstica entre lésbicas quase não é discutida, e isso me fez pensar no que aconteceu comigo.
Eu estava me relacionando com uma pessoa que tinha TPB. No começo, ela era uma pessoa doce e carinhosa, mas com o tempo começamos a ter muitos conflitos e ela passou a me ferir psicologicamente de forma constante. Enquanto é “só” psicológico, muita gente não dá a devida atenção, mas eu percebi depois que aquilo era apenas o começo.
Primeiro sempre se atentem as red flags e foram várias, mas eu estava cega e apaixonada mas a desregulação dela era gritante.
Continuando.. depois das agressões psicológicas ela começou a bater na parede, dando soco durante as crises. Depois passou a socar travesseiros, jogar o próprio celular na parede, quebrar objetos dentro de casa e arremessar coisas em mim, como controles remotos, pilhas e o que estivesse ao alcance.
Em uma ocasião, descobri um segredo dela que não vou expor aqui. A reação foi ela pegar no meu pescoço e apertar com força. Na hora fiquei tão assustada que quase não consegui processar o que estava acontecendo. Foi algo tão absurdo que eu sequer pensei em fotografar ou registrar qualquer marca.
O episódio definitivo aconteceu no término. No meio de uma discussão, ela fingiu que queria conversar comigo, me levou para o quarto e, de repente, puxou meu cabelo, me jogou na cama e me deu um soco na boca. Minha boca começou a sangrar. Logo depois ela começou a tremer e dizer que não tinha feito aquilo, espalhando para outras pessoas que eu era a agressora. Isso era mentira.
Eu consegui reunir fotos, vídeos e provas suficientes para solicitar uma medida protetiva, que foi concedida.
Além das agressões, havia também uma constante campanha de difamação. Sempre que tínhamos problemas, ela procurava amigos em comum para contar apenas as partes da história que favoreciam ela, construindo a narrativa de que estava sofrendo por estar comigo.
O que mais me fazia questionar isso era: se alguém está sofrendo tanto em um relacionamento, por que não termina? Com o tempo percebi que existiam outros fatores envolvidos. Ela não tinha uma estrutura familiar ou financeira que permitisse sair da situação facilmente e dependia muito do ambiente em que vivia.
Outro fator que agravava tudo era o uso de medicamentos misturados com bebida alcoólica. Isso parecia aumentar ainda mais a agressividade. Mas também percebi que, mesmo sem beber, ela apresentava crises intensas, episódios de paranoia e um comportamento extremamente instável. Ou seja, eu estava lidando com uma pessoa que tinha um transtorno sério e que não estava recebendo o tratamento adequado.Mas quero deixar uma coisa muito clara: transtorno mental não é desculpa para agressão. O que mais me incomoda é como esse assunto é relativizado quando envolve duas mulheres. Quando você chega a uma delegacia ou conta sua história, muitas pessoas olham de lado, como se a violência fosse menos grave porque aconteceu entre duas mulheres. Não é.
A violência aconteceu. O medo aconteceu. As agressões aconteceram, além das ameaças constantes de expor segredos meus por não aceitar o término.
A própria família dela, com exceção da mãe, praticamente normalizava esse comportamento. Ela cresceu em um ambiente onde agressões físicas eram comuns, mas isso não torna a situação aceitável.
Eu também sou uma pessoa de temperamento forte, sou reativa, fico com raiva e me altero. Mesmo assim, nunca agredi ninguém fisicamente.
Depois descobri que ela já tinha perseguido uma menina por também não aceitar o fim, fiquei mto mal de ainda descobrir essa história.
Estou compartilhando esse relato porque quase não vejo esse tema sendo discutido. Violência doméstica também acontece entre mulheres, e muitas vezes é minimizada ou ignorada. Mais alguém já passou por algo parecido?