I honestly don’t know where to start. I think I’ve reached the point where I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I don’t know if I’m falling out of love, if I’m burnt out, if I’m traumatized, or if I’m just a horrible person.
I (24F) have been with my girlfriend (22F) for a year now. She loves me. I know she does. She has loved me loudly, thoughtfully and intentionally. But somewhere along the way… I think I stopped feeling.

I don’t enjoy kissing her. I genuinely don’t. I kiss her because she’s my girlfriend. I don’t feel butterflies. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t miss her when we’re apart. It feels like something I’m supposed to do. And I hate admitting that. The worst part is that I don’t even know if I can blame myself because of everything that has happened between us.

For almost our entire relationship, I have felt responsible for keeping her alive.
1. She once walked from Membley Estate to Kahawa Sukari (6k) in the middle of the night through a dangerous field where a girl had literally been raped shortly after she passed through there. I offered her money for transport. She refused it and insisted on walking anyway.
2. She has tried jumping out of a moving car while I was inside because she wanted to kill herself.
3. She tried jumping off her balcony. I had to physically pull her back while crying and calling her sister.
4. I locked us in her room, she wanted to leave to kill herself, and when I stood in front of the door because I didn’t want her leaving, she screamed at me, tried forcing the door open and broke the door handle. The handle is still broken. She has told me multiple times she wanted to die. One night she told me she was going to kill herself. I spent the entire night begging her not to.
5. She once told me she threw herself off the fifth floor of a building and somehow survived.
6. She has cut herself before and showed her ex-girlfriend.
7. When I finally gathered enough courage to break up with her, she threatened to either come to my parents’ house and make a scene or jump in front of a car if I didn’t let her come over to talk. So I let her come. And I took her back. Not because I suddenly wanted to. Because I was scared.
8. She later told me she was never supposed to make it to the end of 2025 and that I was the reason she did. Imagine carrying that. Imagine trying to leave someone after hearing that.
9. She went to therapy once, did some tests, then later told me she scored 100 on BPD, anxiety, depression and something else. She never got medication. She never got an actual diagnosis that I’m aware of. But during one of the suicide incidents she kept saying nobody understood what it was like to have BPD. I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore.
10. Back in high school she faked having tics until someone called her out.
11. She has also told me she traumatized multiple ex-girlfriends with suicide attempts or threats.
12. She lies. She lied to me about doing a degree. She was actually doing a diploma. It sounds small compared to everything else, but it shattered my trust because if someone can lie about something that fundamental for so long, what else have they lied about?
13. She isn’t ambitious. She talks about not wanting to graduate until she’s 30 or 35 because she wants to “enjoy her twenties.”
Sometimes she does things that make absolutely no sense to me and then I’m somehow left feeling guilty afterwards.
14. She also has this thing where she acts like she knows everything. She’ll confidently speak Spanish despite not actually knowing Spanish. She’ll say things that are completely wrong with so much confidence that if you didn’t know better you’d believe her.
15. She’ll insist I’ve orgasmed when I know I haven’t. Sometimes I’m literally dry. Sometimes it’s just discharge. Sometimes I squirt. She calls all of it “cumming.” No matter how many times I know what happened to MY body, she’ll insist otherwise.
It’s like she knows my body better than I do.
She also has sex rough. Sometimes it genuinely hurts when she goes in.
I’ve told her it hurts. Sometimes she keeps going before stopping, even after I tell her not to go in because it hurts. Every single time I end up wondering whether I’m overreacting.
16. Then there’s little things. We were watching Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. She’d already seen it. She wanted to watch my reaction. I naturally predict movies really well. I’ve always been able to figure out plot twists. I guessed two things correctly. She paused the movie. Got upset. Told me I ruined the experience. Paused it again. I apologized. She paused it AGAIN. Eventually she yelled that she didn’t even want to watch the movie anymore. I just quietly collected my things and went to her room. She later told me she didn’t know if she wanted to watch movies with me anymore because I “finish the story.” (I lowkey understood her her. I messed up here) Little moments like that leave me feeling like I’m always somehow doing something wrong.

Lately I’ve realized something that makes me feel physically sick. If she broke up with me, I think I’d be okay. Maybe relieved. Even typing that makes my throat tighten. Because she deserves someone whose eyes light up when she walks into the room. Someone who genuinely wants to kiss her. Someone who isn’t internally irritated by half the things she says. Someone who doesn’t question whether they’re staying because they love her or because they’re terrified of what she’ll do if they leave.

I don’t know whether I still love her romantically. I don’t know whether I’ve simply become numb. I don’t know whether this relationship has slowly broken something inside me. I don’t know whether I can learn to love someone again after feeling like this. I don’t want to hurt her. But I also don’t know if staying because I’m afraid of hurting someone is love.

Has anyone ever come back from feeling this disconnected? Or is this what the end of a relationship feels like before either person admits it?

Has anyone ever received head from a woman that has a tongue piercing? I wanna get mine but I’m afraid it won’t feel good on other women and then I have to take it out.

As the title says. At what point do you stop considering someone a baby gay? Is it a point in time? Or how many people they’ve dated? Asking as a (possibly) baby gay.

Okay so we’ve discussed this, I (gay FTM) used to have breasts and dated men, and have never had this experience, so we had to ask some more lesbians!

“It seems like over 50% of the time when I’m with a woman, they squeeze the ever-living daylights out of my breasts. Like it is not uncommon for me to get bruises. What is up with that??? Why do they do that??? Does this feel good to people???”

Anyways, we would love y’all’s input, we gotta know if this is a common experience or if there’s something specific about her twin salmons that bring out so many ladies’ inner eagle

I'm an ally and have known lesbian folk for 30 years.

I have a question that I don't have a clue about the answer.

I hope that this is the right place to ask.

I have a masc friend and I admit to wanting them to find love. Does that mean I want to be a matchmaker?

Anyway, are masc people attracted to other masc folk ?

I 19 female masc, and my girlfriend 20 femme have been dating for about 5 months but known eachother for over a year. Once we started dating it seems like she started to mention a certain ex a lot more, one she was previously in a 1 and a half year relationship with. She mentions things about how she was taller and bigger than me, sort of like more muscular. So I started to go to the gym when I had time and go on runs more because I am naturally skinny. I also started to take a lot better care of myself in hopes that if i look better than her ex, she’ll stop mentioning her to me. She hasn’t done this in maybe a month but consistently she still brings up how her and her ex were often intimate. I told her before I’m not ready because I’m a virgin still and just not ready I’d rather have sweet soft moments with her rather than sex. I feel like in this part I am disappointing her because I am not ready yet. She also emotionally compares me to her ex, she doesn’t talk to me about her feelings as much as i ask because she said that her ex thought she was too emotional and she doesn’t want me to think that about her. And it feels like she is still keeping up with her ex in a way. Once she’d brought her up and mentioned her ex had a new girlfriend and I was like oh how do you know, and she said a friend had told her even though I know that until recently they’d still been texting while me and her were dating. She tells me nothing was going on while they texted but won’t show me what they texted about. It doesn’t make me think there was something going on I guess but it makes me constantly comparing myself to her ex. And she has more than 1 ex but only compares me to this one. And i tell her that it makes me sad when she compares me to her but she says that she likes me how i am still and emotionally, her ex still has a big impact on her life so she still compares me to her emotionally, like how she thinks i’ll think she’s too emotional even though she has even said before i’ve never done anything to make her think that, it’s just her ex impacting her emotionally still.

So, I’ve been dating this girl coming up on two years now. And we’ve had a slew of problems. However, this one particular issue I find is kind of strange. When a guy asks her about her relationship status specifically with me. For instance, a man recently asked are we related. She said that she said no. And then he asked were we best-friends. She said that she said yes. This is not the first time something of this nature happening. As well as us discussing this before. I’m asking should I leave because she seems to be embarrassed to be in a lesbian relationship. On top of other issues we face consistently.

I’m 19 and girl that i’m dating is few years older.we met last month after texting for about 1.5 month.Our first date was amazing lasted 13 hours i felt just so myself,no flirting no romance or anything but it was an officially date.From that moment we went on 6 more amazing and usually 10+ hour long dates.I love the fact that we are going slow but i’m well confused about the treatment.

She admitted that she never been with a woman in any way before and thats the reason she is so lied back and awkward.And she mentioned googling advices and asking friends for them.

I totally understand her feelings and i empathise with them i think that figuring out your sexuality after relationships only with men is a tough task ,however she is a very dry texter,we never had a phone call and our dynamic is only nice when we are together in person.On the other hand she introduced me to her friendgroup and they always pulled the „i heard so much good things about you” card, she plans dates and she cares about me getting home and all of that. We had our first cheek kiss at 7th date and first time just hugging for longer than two seconds as well.
Another issue is that she is not showing interest unless she drank alcohol and even then she is extra awkward with that.I’m worried about getting into relationship with a person who drinks almost daily and is going out so often.
She is sweet and caring in person maybe except always somehow meeting a friend and then talking with them for 20 min in language that I don’t understand.I’m also disturbed about her history with substances since i’m strongly against drugs.
I just need someone’s else’s perspective hopefully someone wiser than my teenage self

currently in a debate. the other person is saying that if two girls arent having sex, they don’t count as lesbians. thoughts?

im a lesbian, but i like a man… i think hes the only man i will ever like in that way. am i still a lesbian? what is my sexuality?!?!?!

I'm a gay male, just to get that out of the way. I'm very curious as to what dating is like on the other end of the sexuality spectrum. It's easy to imagine a man striking out, but I can't seem to wrap my mind around what lesbians might go through. If you feel comfortable, please share.

Why some young woman do these weird gay hand movements when they talk?

hello everyone 😊

3 years ago I (21F) fell in love with my bestfriend (23F) and confessed my love to her, at first she said she wasn’t feeling the same but a few months after she kissed me at a party ! I was so happy and in love but what I thought would be the perfect love story ended being a very messy relationship

we dated for 6 months and she broke up with me 7 times because she felt too much pressure from her very homophobic familly (she hasn’t tomd them anything but the mere idea of them knowing about us make her litteraly sick). I tried to be as supportive as I could but unfortunately nothing helped, she couldn’t stand the idea of being with a girl 😕 so on our last break up i decided to tell her that this was the last time, and that from now on I wouldn’t let us get back together until she seeked professional help.

we stayed very good friends and kept seeing each other every day (because we are colleagues at work) but she has expressed multiple times her desire to get back together, the problem is that she hasn’t seeked profesional help at all

she says it’s too hard, that she doesn’t want to talk about our relationship to a professional because it’s too much pressure

the problem is idk what to do because i m affraid i will get hurt one more time 😅 but in the meantime, i feel like i m in the wrong for asking her to seek profesional help in the first place ? like i totally understand that it’s not an easy thing to do so it’s probably not something you should expect someone to do ?

then how to manage a relationship with someone whose familly is homophobic ?

any advices help, she is the first and only person i ve ever loved and i don’t wanna lose her

hello :))

I (24F) have always been pretty confident about my sexuality !

well, i used to be 😅 that was until i had my first wlw relationship with someone from a very homophobic familly and who had a lot of internalized homophobia, i tried to help but hearing all day long so much homophobic stuff kindda rubbed on me

now i have trouble accepting my sexuality so if any of you have advices to be a proud queer woman again, please tell me :))

I (15f) ​was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend(14f) for five months (both fourteen at the time but with jokes that I was a nonce). We never kissed but we went out rather frequently and gave eachother a lot of things.​but just before valentine's day (which would also be our six month anniversary) she broke up with me on a Friday. I asked for no contact for a week before we became friends again, but during that period a girl had been looking at me throughout ​thr ​school day and at the end, she said that my ex had kissed her last Wednesday.

I was distraught and contacted my ex to ask her if this was the truth. She confirmed. She did not say sorry and instead said 'No, I thought it would be better for you if you didn’t know, but I didn’t wanna keep lying to you'. I fully analyzed the text (predicted 9s in both categories of English) and found that she wanted to act as a saviour by constantly using direct address. The last part was the only thing trying to sympathise and it wasn't enough.

It's been six months at this point… and I'm honestly still obsessed with my ex. She's spoken about so much in school due to being popular and I hate her. I'm friends with her best friend who sometimes will talk about her. I overhear everyone speaking about her in passing and there is a poison in my chest. I can't get over her since it was my first relationship and ended so horribly.

So cut to a residential trip. It was for humanities and 25 people were there including me and my ex. No one there knew that she was my ex though two knew I had an ex who cheated on me. They also called me obsessed from talking about her (I've never actually been told I'm obsessed but ig boys are more direct). And on the last night we spent there, me and the girls were playing Uno on the toilet (fist act of teenage rebellion) past lights out and we almost got caught so me and my ex rushed into a singular stall and I had to remind her not to laugh.

he was the only one who I had the number of so when she gave me a power bank for my phone I said I'd unblock her so she can add me to the trip groupchat ( sent 400 messages in an hour from just 4 people). I said it was awkward and she finally apologized. It felt fake, but I accepted ​it.

I'll just copy and paste the messages cause this is kind of hurting a bit too much now. I know I'm not healthy. I'm sorry.

Me:​So can you add me?

Her:​Yepp :))

Me:Dang, this feels awkward

Her:Yeah I know I’m really sorry

Me: It's okay. I hope we could be friends again at least

Her:Yeah I’m so grateful, I would understand if you’re mad at me

Me:I still kinda am but I want to get rid of the poison in my chest

Her:Yeah I get that, I just really want to like tell you that it wasn’t at all you and it was more like me not being able to communicate at all back then

Me:Yeah ​Thanks

A day later, I sent this message.

…I want to get this off my chest.

Part of me wants to be friends and the other part wants to slap you. I hate your voice. I hate the way you speak. I hate how loud you are. I hate how present you are in conversation. I hate your posture. I hate your smile. I hate your attempts at humour. I hate your outfits. I hate how you walk. I hate how you speak to anyone I want to talk to. You've corrupted so much of which I used to like. I hate how you ignore me because it means you realize how shitty you are. I hate when you notice me because then I get a stabbing pain between my ribs and collar bone. I hate how frequently you come up in conversation like a plague that will engulf me with your name just being mentioned.

I understand that you are not perfect. I knew that when we were together. I looked past all that I did not like about you or any red flags I saw because I liked you then. It was only after you broke up with me that I looked at the pile and found you to be rather… unsatisfactory. And when I found out what happened, I was simply filled with anger that still has not vanished. I cried for three hours on the floor whilst avoiding my parents and I cried when I told my mum that I unblocked you. I don't know why. If I could explain it, then I would.

I understand that I am not perfect. I knew that when we were together. I'm both too clingy whilst pushing others away. I overshare so much and I am sure I am in this message. I admit I have horrid mental health. I tear at the flesh upon my foot and claw at anything I feel I want to show my agony but I hold myself back from scratching my face at least. My hair feels like it is being pulled nearly every day from stress; some stress you caused, some you did not.

But anyway, this message is getting a bit too long and I feel I've made some things clear.

Her:Yeah, it has, I wish I could do something to make it easier, and I wish I didn’t do what I did. Please tell me if there’s anything at all I can do, I’ll understand if you never want to talk to me

Me:But I do want to talk to you. ​I selfishly want to be near you so this feeling will stop

Her:Idk what you want me to do, I’m so sorry

Me:Once a month, can we meet up like normal friends do?You can deny if you want

Her: Yes if you’re sure, that’d be greatI’m so sorry for the late reply, my brother forced me to do the laundry

Me: Good.Thank you

Is this the wrong choice? Am I only feeding my obsession? Please can someone give me advice?

Hi everyone I've never posted on here before and I will probably delete but I need some advice. I'm sorry if this is long, but please help a girl out.

I have a friend I've known for a few months now, we get along pretty well, we sometimes flirt around jokingly but nothing serious (mostly ?? but one time she said something I did was "hot" in all seriousness and that she got aroused, which I honestly can not tell if it was a joke anymore). We both know we like women. I'm pretty physically attracted to her but I wouldn't wanna date her. We have also both talked about being open to fwb (not with each other, but as a general thing).

So the other night we go to the bar, and as we keep drinking we're getting a bit more touchy. She is not a touchy person at ALL. She hates hugging, she is the least physically affectionate person I've met (not just with me, with everyone). We have been drunk together before, but it never involved any touching. So first it started with brushes on the arm, pretty basic normal stuff. As the night goes on, we're talking to other friends, she puts her arm around my shoulder, around my waist. A little later when we're moreso alone, we're both stroking each others arms, waist, back, shoulders more. Gets to a point where we're sort of in an embrace doing this with my back against a high table and her in front of me, occasionally she will put her head on my chest/shoulders. We're still kind of talking?? A few times when we're looking at each other she raises her eyebrows suggestively, but nothing comes from it. I would say this alone went on for like 10-15 minutes.

Anyway so we're leaving the bar, she's throwing up, but our speech isn't slurred, we can walk relatively fine, she is leading the way to public transport. Every time we go back to walking (taking intermittent rests), she immediately either holds my hand or links hands (which I can attribute to her wanting stability after throwing up, but this was just so out of character for her??). When we stop at pedestrian crossings we're embracing again. She takes me to my train platform (which she's never done before, her way home is another direction), which again I can attribute to her just looking out for me? We have another embrace before my train comes and I go.

I just need some opinions about what happened here because I can't talk to anyone in my life about this lol. Thank you all <3

I was at a meetup a couple weeks ago and I started talking to a girl there. After it ended, she asked me if I wanted to join her and her friend for drinks and I did. I spent several hours with her and we both got a little drunk. I was starting to like her and hoping I could get a date with her in the near future. I told her I wanted to see her again and asked if we could exchange numbers. She agreed and we did. As I was about to leave she said, “I just want to let you know I’m gay, are you ok with that.” This threw me off and I said, “so you’re not bi, you’re fully gay” and she said yes. I then told her, “I’m going to be honest, I was hoping to go on a date with you but I didn’t realize you were a lesbian. I understand you are now and that’s ok but I would be glad to be friends still.” She told me she would be glad to be friends as well and hoped to see me in the future.

We haven’t seen each other again but we have messaged each other and she recently told me she wants to make plans soon.

My question for you is do you think this was a bit odd? She spent several hours with me and never mentioned anything until the end. When I was last in a relationship, if I met a girl I tried to be friends with, I would mention my then girlfriend as soon as possible just so she understood I wasn’t hitting on her and only wanted to be friends. Wouldn’t it essentially be standard protocol to mention being a lesbian as soon as possible just to avoid any misunderstanding?

My (F19) girlfriend (F19) brought up an issue with me last night, an issue that I genuinely had no clue existed still. We had touched on this topic many times in the past, it had been a bit of a rough patch in our relationship, but i thought we had cleared everything up... obviously not.

Background info:

My girlfriend is lesbian and I am bisexual (is relevant), she is a very bubbly social person (ADHD) that likes to make new friends, while I am more shy in social settings generally (I'm AuDHD and find friend making scary)

Problem:

There is a girl we work with, we will call her Penny, that my GF has slowly been growing a friendship with over about the last 6 months. I have no issues with her making new friends. I often encourage it. But this time, I was getting very off vibes and some flirty mannerisms. Even my girlfriend told me Penny has said/done some odd things. We had many conversations about my thoughts on Penny and I really tried to become friends with her too, but she just doesn't seem interested, she is also kinda shy so I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Yesterday, my GF asked to have a serious conversation out of nowhere. Well, Penny was the main topic. I will try and summarize what my GF said to me.

- she feels like she can't make friends with girls because I have "big jealousy issues"

- she really likes Penny as a friend and wants to be able to hang out side of work with her without worrying about what I think

- she feels like she can't talk to me about it or i will get mad and upset

- she doesn't want to keep feeling guilty about having a friend ship with Penny, just because i don't like her and have worries that Penny likes her.

These were her main points. I really tried to listen and make sure I didn't misunderstand anything.

But then she said this...

"Now I do need to tell you something, I did keep a secret from you, I got so scared that you would be mad at me that I just couldn't tell you earlier. Yesterday when I went out with (insert her male friends name) I also invited Penny. And we all had a really good time. I know I didn't tell you and I'm sorry"

She had gone out the day before this conversation for about half the day with what I thought was just her long-time guy friend who we also work with, and she was telling me all about it and I asked questions. The entire time she hid the fact that Penny was also there, when we had literally had a conversation a few weeks prior about why I feel uncomfortable about the friendship and my GF said she would try and keep it to short conversation just at work.

Now I wanna know if I'm going crazy and am just really jealous or should I be worried she's keeping something from me.

Oh yeah and she is currently out clubbing with her guy friends, and Penny. Which she only told me penny was coming, through text, once she had left the house.

Please help I'm losing my mind..

I’m sorry if this post drags on but I need to get this off my chest lol. I (19F) was talking with my younger sister (14F), and she said that she’s totally comfortable showering with her friends, using the bathroom in front of them, and just being entirely naked together. She also said they cuddle together. They’re all very straight.

I could never be comfortable like that in front of my friends. Sure, I’ve used the bathroom with them in the past if we don’t want to get separated at a party, and changed in front of them for sports and such when I had to, but I’ve been uncomfortable every time. The only person I feel comfortable doing the aforementioned things with is my girlfriend. And even then, I still don’t like us shitting in front of each other lol I get grossed out.

My question is, how are girls (particularly straight girls) so comfortable with their friends? Does me being lesbian automatically make me uncomfortable in these situations, or am I just shy? Do other lesbians experience similar discomfort?

Also, why would you want to do these things with your friends outside of convenience? To feel closer to each other? I just don’t understand. Straight girls continue to baffle me with how loose their boundaries are with each other.

I’ve dated before, but this was my first relationship with another woman, and I’m honestly struggling to move on from it.

I know I have communication issues, and I’m working on them. She said my communication and me ending the relationship are why she reacted the way she did. But at the same time, she had been disrespectful to me before that too, and looking back, I probably should’ve walked away a lot sooner. We weren’t even together that long.

Now I feel like I’m constantly overthinking everything and questioning myself. I don’t want her back, I just hate that this relationship affected me this much.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you stop carrying it into future relationships?

I’d love to know the tell tale signs you knew about yourselves looking back, environments you grew up in and how you were raised before during and after the label and what not. 🫶🏽

I 20f have been seeing a girl for a few weeks and we’ve slept together a few times. Prior to her I had never been with a girl before, so I’m not very experienced. The last time we slept together tho I couldn’t help but feel like it was a bit monotone, I do get pleasure out of it but we always do the same thing, hands, breasts, and oral mostly. I want to vary things to keep it interesting how do I go about it, does anyone have any suggestions?