Anyone else ending up a virgin because they bloomed late?

Growing up, anything involving sex, nudity, or even basic attraction made me wildly uncomfortable. Being overly religious with severe OCD, made normal things feel like a taboo. My brain basically conditioned me to treat normal human desires like toxic waste.

I’ve done a lot of work on my mindset over the years, but intimacy still feels like uncharted territory for me.
The hardest part right now is the sheer insecurity of feeling so far behind. Things that most people do automatically like masturbating, having casual nsfw thoughts, or daydreaming about someone they find hot, literally didn't happen for me. I didn't even realize how differently my brain was wired compared to my peers until my mid-20s.

Now I’m turning 30, and the total lack of experience is giving me major anxiety. I’m also very angry and grieving. I feel cheated out of normal teenage and 20s milestones that everyone else got to take for granted while I was stuck in my own head.

I just feel my life could have been different if I wasn’t like this growing up. I feel so behind in life and don’t know what to do, I feel stuck.

JsiI've seen a lot of guys get teased or looked down on for being virgins. I'm curious if women experience the same thing, or if the social pressure is different. What's been your experience?

the problem is that i'm anxious and shy 😭 whenever a hot woman liked me, i felt nervous. i'm 20m, i need one woman that i can love all my life but idk how to find one because i don't have the balls to walk up to women irl, i don't wanna annoy a beautiful woman and ruin her day... but at the same time, i wanna be intimate, the urge to kiss a woman on her neck and call her mine is very strong sometimes lol... how do i stop being this nervous irl because if i don't talk to one, i'll probably end up lonely.

When I was 18, if someone told me "I can arrange for you to do it tonight", I probably would've said yes without hesitation, bc back then, I wanted to lose it bc i was really curious and my hormones were boiling, also bc social pressure.

But now I don't really care about the pressure anymore, the thing that hurts isn't being a virgin, it's the loneliness behind it.

Sometimes I think I miss the experiences around it more than the act itself, Holding someone's hand, being someone's favorite person, having someone excited to see you, feeling genuinely wanted.

I don't want to do it just to say I did it, I want it to be with someone who actually wants to be there with me.

41 year old virgin here who gets shamed by people who tell me that there is no excuse for me to be a virgin. It is depressing. Something about hiring a sex worker just doesn't feel right. First off, I am struggling financially so there would be no money to even do that but most importantly, paying somebody who isn't into you or the situation just seems sad to me. There is also the high possibility of catching a disease or whatever.

The idea of someone seeing what’s under my shirt and touching me scares me more than one day being a 40 year old virgin if I make it to that age. I’m not entirely sure what I want anymore and I just feel lost on this front. Everybody is fucking except me but I feel safe in an odd way like I’m shielded. I don’t have to explain what hides underneath and I don’t have to see the disgust or disappointment on someone’s face when they see all of me. It doesn’t help I have low self esteem and ashamed of myself and how I look. I feel like at least this is one thing I can control, it’s one thing nobody can see if I shield myself properly and nobody can take from me.

Whats even the point of me posting this? Perhaps to make you guys feel better, perhaps as a cry for help to the universe knowing only i can help myself.

I’m 31, living in a small town, and am lgbt (i have gender dysphoria, however still kinda identify as gay male) its very odd, and internally a living nightmare, this sentence alone does in my case explain why ive never dated,

I wanted to so much in high school, but being attracted to men as a male, and being super quiet AND being bullied for being different meant my options were 0, still its been years since i was 15/16/17/18, and in my early 20ths i did once go on a tinder date, this before my gender issues came back in full force…but the guy was so feminine in person, and looking at people in the cafe we went to, which i went against my will cause as soon as i met him god he was just so feminine, which is fine if you like that, but not attraction wise for me, it made me feel nauseous, so i was awkwardly there just wanting a hole in the ground to open up and swallow me, people were staring, he caressed my hand and i just wanted to barf… oh and one more thing, pretty sure im neurodivergent lol…

So thats the explanation as to why i personally have never dated, cause the moments in school i wasnt anxious, i was normal passing and even had 2 girls who were friends say they found me attractive, without even knowing i only liked men, once they knew, one of them joined the bullying too, before this she was a seemingly close friend so…yep

I am currently unemployed , with depression i try masking but i am so angry at the world for how it is and how life gave me these cards, its not the virgin part that makes me angry, that makes me sad and feel weirder than i am, my anger is towards why my brain has me question my gender daily, i like how my physical appearance is and body functions, but i have had these thoughts of girl me for years, still, last night i created a blank tinder account just to see what was out there, firstly…i saw one if my ex bullies, which defo triggered anxiety and upset, then i thought, its such a small town, and conservative , the amount of weird accounts, like a guy with a sock on his head with holes for eyes, and then the actual accounts of men were mostly over 22 miles to 200 i believe (cant remember the exact miles) so im like…whilst i live in this town i will not get anywhere, how do i get out?

I have less than 2K in my bank, last night i completed one version of my CV, but honestly how do i get a job in another town and move? And then i fking wish it was just the town issue alone, these daily transgender thoughts and fluctuation of identity, cause i know i like men, only men but then my identity is all over the place , i feel i wear a mask a lot also knowing there are moments i like me, but its not fully me…

I defo believe i am destined to surpass that triggered 40year old virgin film, unless i force myself to have se.x with a tinder hook up…which im not gonna force myself to do something uncomfortable, and also i am not into anal at all, it freaks me out, so you see…if you think yr losing in life, trust me, yr not. You will be fine, and if you are reading this at say 33, 36, 37 you dont have my issues? Then put yourself out there and you’ll be fine too.

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I was a freshman in college, and I had a class with this beautiful, thick, Black girl. Every time she would walk, her tits and ass would jiggle. We had similar interests; we were both nerds and MCU fans, and she was a dream. We would talk here and there. One day near the end of our spring semester, in one of our last classes, she was sitting with me and some other guys. We were talking about something random—I think it was celebrities—and she randomly came out and said jokingly, I don't want to see you beat your shmeat out loud. I was so embarrassed, I wanted to die. I couldn't even look at anyone else. Shmeat means small meat, btw. It got worse a few days after that. I invited her to watch Marvel's Echo with me in the library. We took one of the private study rooms, and we were in the middle of the episode, and she started rubbing my leg and something else. I was frozen. She felt my dick, and she said, Aww, it's like my little cousins, and giggled. We finished the episode and went to class, where she gave me her Instagram and said, Later, shmeaty. I texted her a few weeks later, and she said she wasn't interested anymore and was talking to a new guy, and said to take this as a learning experience. After I sent her a dick pic for blowing me off. After a while, I found her TikTok and saw her throwing it back. I became a real loser when I saw that (I jerked off to it) she was throwing it back, and I did some things. I felt like a loser. I recently saw that she joined a sorority and is thriving, and she looks great and is doing very well. I think she has a boyfriend now, idk, just saw a picture. I later found out that she did share my dick pic; it got shared around. I overheard some girls talking about it, they pointed me out and everything, when I was getting lunch. I did try to talk to her, but she is a part of a sorority now, and I wanna keep my balls. ( still got the text messages, just ask)

18F going into college, I’m terrified of not being able to find love when I hold high standards. I want someone who’s a virgin like me, and someone who will treat me right without the expectation of having a baby.
Throughout High School, it was incredibly hard for me to find someone who fit these standards.
Today I went on a date with a guy who was incredibly kind, and actually just a year younger than me. I didn’t expect him to be a virgin, so I thought for a moment that maybe I lower my standards. That was until he lifted his arms to stretch and I saw a fresh hickey above his belt. I felt sick and I told him I had to go. Turns out it was a girl he met at a party. It reminded me how naive and somewhat mormon I feel living in a big city in California, trying to find a loyal partner.
Little interactions like these make me lose hope. A few months back I talked to this guy I used to do robotics club with in High School, turns out he was sleeping with two other girls on the team for years. Again, I felt sick, so I ghosted him.
My dream is to find someone that loves me as much as I love them, and to settle at a young age. But with the expectation of finding another virgin, I feel less optimistic.
Thanks for reading, please give me useful input.

Would prefer responses from women only. Thank you for understanding.

I had very strict parents in high school, and, when I was 15, a family member sa-ed me. This made me very averse to sex for a long time and also made me not want to take care of my body or looks. I had very bad mental health problems after that and didn't go to college until I was 20. When I went to college, I was at a commuter school and lived with my parents. I didn't experience the college life in which people who didn't lose their virginity in high school lose it in college.

Now I'm 24, going into my 5th and final year of college. I live in my own apartment now with a roommate, have been for the past year. I haven't clicked with anyone romantically during that time though, probably since I prefer someone my age or older but am surrounded by people younger than me and don't have the opportunity to interact with people in my age group.

I thought about losing my virginity to a random and got on dating apps. However, I never felt comfortable meeting anybody on there in real life. I just don't want to lose my virginity to a hookup. I don't know if it's petty or a bad idea to be so conservative about it, but I can't help it. I want to lose it through a relationship. Is it okay that I am kind of delaying it? Or is it better to just get it over with to avoid stigma, even if I don't feel comfortable or fully ready?

Mass Majority of relationships nowadays are loveless, transactional, and completely one sided. Maybe there is intimacy, but it won't be passionate at all. The intimacy would just be to keep them around, and isn't an attempt to engage in pair bonding between each other.

You can call me trying to make peace with my situation, but honestly I think it is a good way to feel a lot better about yourself. My friends who ended up relationships all had to go through this.

Soy virgen y tengo 22 años, veo a mi alrededor y literalmente las personas que se me hacen atractivas ya tuvieron varias parejas, no me considero desagradable para nada y varias personas no me creen cuando les digo que soy virgen pero es lo que es, soy muy nerviosa y no confío rápidamente, siento que hasta seria mejor solo perder mi virginidad como sea para sentirme libre de andar con alguien que ya tuvo su primera vez, no se me confunde mucho...

By this I mean at which age I will quit feel horny and like will understand that there is no way back and its already late for me to even try to have any relationship? At which age I will feel blessed because I will know that I have lived being a virgin and have rejected many girls(already 3) just to feel liberty from those animal desires?

Just wanted to see how many other virgins out there own and use sex toys like myself

Fear of the fact that I don't or meet the standard heck tbh I don't get what's attractive about Male body why would a girl even want to have sex with me besides l also fear like could I perform well ? could I ensure I don't orgasm really quickly or have enough energy for the sex to last ?

Thinking about ending it all. I've tried my best but my best isn't good enough to get even one kiss over then span of 36 years. If trying my best, going to clubs, talking to women, using dating apps, asking my friends if they know anyone who might be interested, working out, and having great hygiene, isn't enough for even one kiss then I don't see the point in going on. I know my autism plays a big role but there's nothing I can do about that either. I can't un-autism myself no matter how much I want to. It's hopeless. I want to die.

I'm a 30 year old asian guy living in the US and working in tech. I have a high net worth and make good money. I worked hard my entire life to make myself financially stable. And I've tried dating apps for a bit, been told I look decent, gotten some first dates and some second dates. However, dating in tech is pretty hard, because of the gender ratio in west coast. And at my age, people aren't looking for hookups anymore.

And as soon as I tell someone I'm a virgin, either in real life, such as a girl I'm on a date with, or someone online, they look at me like I'm the strangest person in the world. There's a real stigma with being a virgin at this age. Even online, if I tell someone I'm a virgin, they automatically assume there is something wrong with me. They say things like "you're not normal" or "you haven't been competitive". I'm tired of hearing this. People blame YOU if you tell them you're a virgin. I'm tired of being treated like I'm an abnormal freak as soon as someone hears I haven't lost my virginity. I worked hard my entire life and I feel like being a virgin is a major blow to my self esteem. I'm not some guy who doesn't shower and lives with his parents with no job, yet they treat you way.

I'm thinking of going to Japan, in a soapland bathhouse, to lose it so I don't have the stigma anymore. Japan seems like one of the safer countries to do it. It's exhausting. I'm just tired of the odd looks and judgement.

I have a fear that if I got involved in a casual encounter, the other person would be disappointed by the size. I'm also worried I won't experience, or be able to make someone else experience as much pleasure in general.

I'm 19F and I've never dated anyone Because of that I have one very specific requirement I want a boyfriend who's also never dated anyone. No exes no "it was just a situationship, no "we were just talking 😭

I've talked to quite a few guys, and the moment I found out they had an ex... I respectfully disappeared

The funniest part? Almost every guy I rejected because of this got so offended Like sir, I'm not saying you're a bad person you're just not my type Everyone has preferences and this happens to be mine

I know a lot of people will probably call this unrealistic or immature, but I'd genuinely prefer someone with no dating history ,,just like me

Am I the only one who feels this way, or are there other people with the same preference?

I wanted to share my story because I thought it was too late for me.

I'm 32 years old, and this week I lost my virginity to a woman I really like.

For 17 years, I was addicted to video games. They became my escape from life and I spent years isolated.

Last August, I decided to quit gaming and porn. Last winter I joined a gym and have been training consistently since. In February I downloaded Hinge. Since then I've been on around 20 dates, learned a lot about myself faced rejection but kept going.

This week, everything changed.

If you're over 30 and you're feeling desperate I understand that feeling better than most. I can't promise things will happen as they did for me but things don't need to stay as they are.

Feel free to ask me anything.