Whats even the point of me posting this? Perhaps to make you guys feel better, perhaps as a cry for help to the universe knowing only i can help myself.

I’m 31, living in a small town, and am lgbt (i have gender dysphoria, however still kinda identify as gay male) its very odd, and internally a living nightmare, this sentence alone does in my case explain why ive never dated,

I wanted to so much in high school, but being attracted to men as a male, and being super quiet AND being bullied for being different meant my options were 0, still its been years since i was 15/16/17/18, and in my early 20ths i did once go on a tinder date, this before my gender issues came back in full force…but the guy was so feminine in person, and looking at people in the cafe we went to, which i went against my will cause as soon as i met him god he was just so feminine, which is fine if you like that, but not attraction wise for me, it made me feel nauseous, so i was awkwardly there just wanting a hole in the ground to open up and swallow me, people were staring, he caressed my hand and i just wanted to barf… oh and one more thing, pretty sure im neurodivergent lol…

So thats the explanation as to why i personally have never dated, cause the moments in school i wasnt anxious, i was normal passing and even had 2 girls who were friends say they found me attractive, without even knowing i only liked men, once they knew, one of them joined the bullying too, before this she was a seemingly close friend so…yep

I am currently unemployed , with depression i try masking but i am so angry at the world for how it is and how life gave me these cards, its not the virgin part that makes me angry, that makes me sad and feel weirder than i am, my anger is towards why my brain has me question my gender daily, i like how my physical appearance is and body functions, but i have had these thoughts of girl me for years, still, last night i created a blank tinder account just to see what was out there, firstly…i saw one if my ex bullies, which defo triggered anxiety and upset, then i thought, its such a small town, and conservative , the amount of weird accounts, like a guy with a sock on his head with holes for eyes, and then the actual accounts of men were mostly over 22 miles to 200 i believe (cant remember the exact miles) so im like…whilst i live in this town i will not get anywhere, how do i get out?

I have less than 2K in my bank, last night i completed one version of my CV, but honestly how do i get a job in another town and move? And then i fking wish it was just the town issue alone, these daily transgender thoughts and fluctuation of identity, cause i know i like men, only men but then my identity is all over the place , i feel i wear a mask a lot also knowing there are moments i like me, but its not fully me…

I defo believe i am destined to surpass that triggered 40year old virgin film, unless i force myself to have se.x with a tinder hook up…which im not gonna force myself to do something uncomfortable, and also i am not into anal at all, it freaks me out, so you see…if you think yr losing in life, trust me, yr not. You will be fine, and if you are reading this at say 33, 36, 37 you dont have my issues? Then put yourself out there and you’ll be fine too.

18F going into college, I’m terrified of not being able to find love when I hold high standards. I want someone who’s a virgin like me, and someone who will treat me right without the expectation of having a baby.
Throughout High School, it was incredibly hard for me to find someone who fit these standards.
Today I went on a date with a guy who was incredibly kind, and actually just a year younger than me. I didn’t expect him to be a virgin, so I thought for a moment that maybe I lower my standards. That was until he lifted his arms to stretch and I saw a fresh hickey above his belt. I felt sick and I told him I had to go. Turns out it was a girl he met at a party. It reminded me how naive and somewhat mormon I feel living in a big city in California, trying to find a loyal partner.
Little interactions like these make me lose hope. A few months back I talked to this guy I used to do robotics club with in High School, turns out he was sleeping with two other girls on the team for years. Again, I felt sick, so I ghosted him.
My dream is to find someone that loves me as much as I love them, and to settle at a young age. But with the expectation of finding another virgin, I feel less optimistic.
Thanks for reading, please give me useful input.

Would prefer responses from women only. Thank you for understanding.

I had very strict parents in high school, and, when I was 15, a family member sa-ed me. This made me very averse to sex for a long time and also made me not want to take care of my body or looks. I had very bad mental health problems after that and didn't go to college until I was 20. When I went to college, I was at a commuter school and lived with my parents. I didn't experience the college life in which people who didn't lose their virginity in high school lose it in college.

Now I'm 24, going into my 5th and final year of college. I live in my own apartment now with a roommate, have been for the past year. I haven't clicked with anyone romantically during that time though, probably since I prefer someone my age or older but am surrounded by people younger than me and don't have the opportunity to interact with people in my age group.

I thought about losing my virginity to a random and got on dating apps. However, I never felt comfortable meeting anybody on there in real life. I just don't want to lose my virginity to a hookup. I don't know if it's petty or a bad idea to be so conservative about it, but I can't help it. I want to lose it through a relationship. Is it okay that I am kind of delaying it? Or is it better to just get it over with to avoid stigma, even if I don't feel comfortable or fully ready?

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I was a freshman in college, and I had a class with this beautiful, thick, Black girl. Every time she would walk, her tits and ass would jiggle. We had similar interests; we were both nerds and MCU fans, and she was a dream. We would talk here and there. One day near the end of our spring semester, in one of our last classes, she was sitting with me and some other guys. We were talking about something random—I think it was celebrities—and she randomly came out and said jokingly, I don't want to see you beat your shmeat out loud. I was so embarrassed, I wanted to die. I couldn't even look at anyone else. Shmeat means small meat, btw. It got worse a few days after that. I invited her to watch Marvel's Echo with me in the library. We took one of the private study rooms, and we were in the middle of the episode, and she started rubbing my leg and something else. I was frozen. She felt my dick, and she said, Aww, it's like my little cousins, and giggled. We finished the episode and went to class, where she gave me her Instagram and said, Later, shmeaty. I texted her a few weeks later, and she said she wasn't interested anymore and was talking to a new guy, and said to take this as a learning experience. After I sent her a dick pic for blowing me off. After a while, I found her TikTok and saw her throwing it back. I became a real loser when I saw that (I jerked off to it) she was throwing it back, and I did some things. I felt like a loser. I recently saw that she joined a sorority and is thriving, and she looks great and is doing very well. I think she has a boyfriend now, idk, just saw a picture. I later found out that she did share my dick pic; it got shared around. I overheard some girls talking about it, they pointed me out and everything, when I was getting lunch. I did try to talk to her, but she is a part of a sorority now, and I wanna keep my balls. ( still got the text messages, just ask)

JsiI've seen a lot of guys get teased or looked down on for being virgins. I'm curious if women experience the same thing, or if the social pressure is different. What's been your experience?

When I was 18, if someone told me "I can arrange for you to do it tonight", I probably would've said yes without hesitation, bc back then, I wanted to lose it bc i was really curious and my hormones were boiling, also bc social pressure.

But now I don't really care about the pressure anymore, the thing that hurts isn't being a virgin, it's the loneliness behind it.

Sometimes I think I miss the experiences around it more than the act itself, Holding someone's hand, being someone's favorite person, having someone excited to see you, feeling genuinely wanted.

I don't want to do it just to say I did it, I want it to be with someone who actually wants to be there with me.

Anyone else ending up a virgin because they bloomed late?

Growing up, anything involving sex, nudity, or even basic attraction made me wildly uncomfortable. Being overly religious with severe OCD, made normal things feel like a taboo. My brain basically conditioned me to treat normal human desires like toxic waste.

I’ve done a lot of work on my mindset over the years, but intimacy still feels like uncharted territory for me.
The hardest part right now is the sheer insecurity of feeling so far behind. Things that most people do automatically like masturbating, having casual nsfw thoughts, or daydreaming about someone they find hot, literally didn't happen for me. I didn't even realize how differently my brain was wired compared to my peers until my mid-20s.

Now I’m turning 30, and the total lack of experience is giving me major anxiety. I’m also very angry and grieving. I feel cheated out of normal teenage and 20s milestones that everyone else got to take for granted while I was stuck in my own head.

I just feel my life could have been different if I wasn’t like this growing up. I feel so behind in life and don’t know what to do, I feel stuck.