And they’re having the first great-grandchild in the family 😭 I seriously don’t know how I will handle any future holiday gatherings. Send help

Hypothyroid, subserosal fibroid, lean PCOS, and now they are thinking I have silent endo. Oh and the cherry on top my bicornuate uterus <3333 love it here. Never knew about a single one before I started TTC.

First round of IUI and was hoping my problems would magically be solved. Getting my hopes up and then watching them come crashing down really sucks. But at least I can still kill a project interview? Welcome to the life of a corporate showgirl! 🤡

Her Instagram is still safe y’all

Background: I had a a MMC and a chemical in my first 12 months of ttc, while investigating that we found a genetic condition as well so I begun ivf thinking that’d be an easy fix because “everything else looked great!” 🙃

It quickly became clear that things were not great when none of the embryos would stick or stay stuck,
But apparently that was only clear to me as I have spent the last 3 1/2 years fighting the medical system to find an answer and some who’d believe that I have infertility and not just “bad luck”

Finally after paying a lot of money for a second opinion I have a diagnosis, silent endo and a unicornuate uterus

However no one seems to be able to agree on whether I should have excision surgery or not and to be honest I can’t afford the surgery now anyway because I spent all my money trying to make ivf work

Dealing with useless doctors been such a huge emotional toll that I think I’m ready to give up

Like OMG at this point is there something in the water??? And if so which water so I can devour it😭😭😭😭

Not only am I finally getting my period a week after taking the last provera pill to kick start it, but my birthday is tomorrow and I get to be bleeding/cramping and without my husband to comfort me cause he is out of town for a few weeks for work. Then to top it off, just realizing the dream I had was rather traumatizing but I was so tired that it did process till now. My mind decided I needed to suffer a loss in my dreams too. Like bruh. The hell? 😒😭

Me every cycle tracking all my “symptoms.”

I had really bad nausea today. Logically I know there’s no chance I’m pregnant because I’ve not even ovulated since my miscarriage a few weeks ago…

but can a girl not even just imagine this is a *sign* or a *symptom* while I’m feeling sick anymore??

Bro I just wanted to WATCH THE GAME!!!!!!! I couldn't tell you what happened for the first 4 innings because the baby was staring at me the entire time and I was trying desperately not to cry. After the game my husband was like "I thought you were fine because I assumed you would have asked to switch if it was bothering you" but I didn't say anything because I was trying to not be dramatic or annoying. I should have just switched and let him + the parents feel whatever about it. At least we won I guess.

I haven’t seen my neighbors in a year and of course, they have a 1 month old baby now…meanwhile, I’m on year 5

45 minutes worth of videos and 5-7 question quizzes in order to be able to sign informed consent for our IUI.

lol what is this life

1) I’m about to have retrieval #4 on Thursday, no banked embryos or living children. I have like a 2% chance of success at this point. We’ve been TTC for 8 years. She knows all of this.

2) YOU CHOSE TO WAIT TO FIND OUT THE GENDER. YOU LITERALLY DID THIS TO YOURSELF.

Okay, between my ADHD and schedule, knitting baby items is my favourite because a) it’s fast to get a satisfying item b) I don’t need as much yarn and c) I love how silly some of the styles can be.

Until now I’ve only knit such items for friend’s babies but soon I’ll be starting treatment. I’ve decided to manifest through knitting and my well meaning friend just told me she didn’t knit for her baby until a few weeks before she gave birth because it’s “bad luck”.

In terms of her attempts to "help" it's not the worst but I didn't even know how to respond. She has not seen M3gan, obviously

They can't say I didn't warn them...

*partner rant incoming*

We’ve been TTC for nearly a year, which I am very much aware isn’t long in comparison to a lot of other women who try for years with no joy.

HOWEVER…

We accidentally got pregnant in month 4 of our relationship when actively trying to avoid pregnancy. This resulted in a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

Roll on 2 years and my cycle was never the same since then with spotting and mid-cycle bleeding and lots of pain. My GP sent me for some tests and confirmed I have Adenomyosis. She’s since referred us to the fertility clinic for additional tests and the potential to try suppression and progesterone etc. We’re also still waiting on my partners sperm test appointment. For those who don’t know, adenomyosis is progressive and there’s no known cure, it can make implantation difficult, and I’m 34 so feel like the clock is ticking before it gets any worse as intervention can take a good few years in my country.

Meanwhile I’m watching every friend and colleague get pregnant within 3 cycles 🫠

Every cycle I make sure to time sex to perfection and have had a lifestyle overhaul, taking all the supplements under the sun, lost nearly a stone (was creeping towards overweight before), prioritising sleep, zero alcohol etc. to reduce my inflammation and try and improve my Adeno holistically until intervention is an option/I decide to. Meanwhile, we don’t know if his sperm is a factor.

I generally remain upbeat and also avoid speaking to my partner too much about it in a negative way because he’s commented before that I put too much pressure on it, but last night, I felt really deflated because it feels like I’m constantly living in 30 day cycles which always end in disappointment.

His response was:
- We’ve not even been trying very long (true, but there’s enough of an issue to get a fertility clinic referral)
- You’re wanting to pump your body full of drugs and put your body into early menopause, do you know how crazy that sounds? (That’s what Lupron does if the fertility clinic suggests it, it’s basically to give me uterus a break before trying again)
- I’ve told you before go speak to a herbalist (I am interested in this, but not until we get his sperm test back in case he has any issues so I’m not wasting money, which leads me onto his response to this)
- It’s definitely not my sperm!! 😤

He lives off of frozen food and is not taking care of himself. He was when we last got pregnant and I pointed this out politely to him.

While I get that yes, I’m probably the main issue here, that’s even more reason for his sperm to be in tip top shape rather than it just being me who’s having to look after myself. Also, he’s very anti western medicine (although he has said previously well go down the IVF route if needs be), but if there’s literally nothing you can do for Adenomyosis other than have medication, what tf do you expect me to do?

The atmosphere between us is so weird today, I just wanted a vulnerable conversation and a bit of support when I already feel alone in this, and he just got wound up. I don’t get it 🫠

i’m sure she just meant it as a term of endearment. but since I started cutting back on drinking during TWW I feel like everyone I encounter has been on high alert. already feel self conscious because I’m so bloated.

It's not socially exceptional to answer honestly every time someone asks "Hey, how are you?" Lol

Leaving my monitoring ultrasound today with two dominant follicles ... on the side of my closed tube ... for the second cycle in a row. BLESS. Now we decide if we do another letrozole cycle or do IVF ... did I cry during the stretching segment of Pure Barre today? Yes, yes I did

Welcome to My TTC Grievance Committee (AKA My Villain Origin Story): After almost a year of trying and one chemical pregnancy two months ago which devastated me, I’m starting to crack. Here is a list of things that have pissed me off greatly during this journey:

My pregnant friend telling me she absolutely loves my recently deceased mother's name and that if her second baby was a girl, she might use it. The baby was a boy.

Sitting in NHS urgent care actively miscarrying while a woman in the waiting room picked up her baby, swung it around the room like she was in The Lion King, and danced around with it.

Having a chemical pregnancy.

My niece announcing she was pregnant with twins the day after I miscarried.

A friend saying, "I don't want you to feel bad because I know you're struggling, but I accidentally spawned my second child."

Being invited to two baby showers in the same month. Because apparently I haven't built enough character already.

A friend informing me that she "just has to look at a penis and she gets pregnant."

Another friend telling me I'd better "get busy" because I'm 35. Ah yes, thank you. I was completely unaware of both my age and how babies are made. Remind me again, which hole is it supposed to go in? Quickly, I’m running out of time!