I didn't know how to approach things back then. I made choices I regret, but I couldn't have known any better without experiencing them myself. I came to understand certain truths through my pain, and becoming aware of them has ultimately brought me a sense of peace. I never stop growing; I'm always learning. A butterfly may still scrape and damage its wings from time to time, but a butterfly is beautiful.

Received a job offer today after being a SAHM for the last 6 years + leaving an abusive 16 year relationship. Starting over is so hard but sometimes necessary.

Was in a few relationships, gave my all to them, thought that if I just agreed and listen to them yap and nag they would pick me and that would prove I’m worthy. I would drive to them, help them even when I didn’t want to, even give them money. But one day my ex disrespected me (it was pretty bad, and I don’t want to disclose what he said) I felt like I’ve been through this exact thing before. My first instinct was to get out and leave. And I did just that.

Now, why am I putting this here. Because the old me would’ve just smiled through it and brushed it off. Every. Single. Time. But this time, after he disrespected me, I imagined myself as a little girl again, alone and scared. So I thought, “I love this little girl and I don’t want her to be scared or get hurt anymore.” I’m quite impressed I did it. It made me feel invincible and full of self love. It’s almost addicting when you start to love yourself and not settle for any disrespect. So ladies, always think of you as your childhood self. We have motherly instincts ourselves. We can protect ourselves, wipe away our own tears, and most importantly love and respect ourselves no matter what anyone says.❤️ this can be vice versa for men too!

Lately, I feel like I’m the problem in my relationships.

It’s not the first time, but it’s the worst yet.

Her last words were “Good job, fucker” and “You deserve that,” and then, nothing. Ghosted.

I gave it my all for 4 years (with a 6-month break), but the more I gave, the worse it got.

I lately had to prove myself, prove my worth, earn her respect and in the end, I couldn’t even be sure of my place by her side or of her love.

In my eyes, it was communication and I thought that if we’d just talk to each other, openly, mutual and benevolently, but I was weighed, judged, and deemed worthless.

Then, the next day, after it was over: She moves on as if nothing ever happened. Dating apps, dagin guys and enjoying life.

It’s eating me alive.

The feeling that I’m truly worthless, that I’ve done everything wrong, that my thoughts and feelings are wrong and that there is something fundamentally wrong with me.

I cling to the belief that it’s not true, but what I see and feel says the opposite, and it’s slowly getting harder and harder not to just accept that I’m simply wrong and worthless.

By Poet.Circle

After being invited by someone in their house, I was left unattended and was made feel as if I were non existent. I didn't even go there voluntarily, I was requested to be there not once but twice and then I received this behaviour. I felt humiliated and insulted. I already suffer from clinical depression and anxiety.

Independence is not about doing everything on your own or never relying on others.

Independence means that you don’t rely on others to tell you who you are.

You don't rely on external circumstances to define you.

You are who you are no matter what is happening around you.

Your self-esteem is not swayed by how others behave.

Your self-worth is not hinged on what you have, what you earn, what people say, etc. You are just worthy.

You don't wait for the world to tell you that you are enough, that you are lovable, that you are deserving of good things; you just know that you are!

It is so important to get clear about who you are because if you don’t know who you are, then you can’t know what you want for yourself.

You will look to the world to tell you, and the world has some truly shitty ideas about success and love and happiness.

Independence doesn't mean that you do everything alone, means that you are whole/complete as an individual and you happily team up with others in different capacities but never to feel enough (because you already are!).

Basically my first girlfriend was very abusive towards me, but she wasn’t/isn’t abusive towards her ex and her current partner. She also appreciates things about him that I also had, that she didn’t appreciate about me

Basically it’s hard for me to put this behaviour on her and who she is, because her abuse was specific to me, and makes me think I brought it out of her. She’s not just an abusive person, and I can’t just tell myself that and that she would’ve done that to anyone. She was just abusive to me, so it makes me just hate myself. She was just THAT unhappy with me. Thought maybe she’s like that with everyone, but now I see that she isn’t. So her behaviour wasn’t just who she is, she is actually a loving person apparently, she was just like that to me because I guess I was that bad? And because it was my first romantic experience, I don’t know if maybe I was the problem 😢

Like if I was just someone else she never would’ve treated me terribly. That it was me that was the reason of the treatment, not her. If I was her new guy she never would’ve done that maybe? I don’t know. But I met her in a very dark time in my life and she made it a thousand times worse

All the advice I see about abusive people doesn’t work for me, because all those stories are about people who abuse everyone, so that’s just something in general broken inside them, and that fact helps victims. But I don’t have that. All I have is self hate after it all, because the first girl to ever like me abused me, which at first just made me think I just got unlucky with a person who is abusive, and that it’s not personal, but then she showed me that she’s not even abusive to other people. She easily and voluntarily treats her bf the way I begged to be treated and she never could for me. So it was just me? I was so unlikeable she couldn’t help but be terrible to me? The abuse was because I deserved it? And now I don’t even know if it had anything to do with her, maybe every woman would treat me like that? It looked like she was mad at the fact that she was stuck forced to try to like me. Just the fact that I’ve never had an experience outside of her to compare makes me not know and scared to ever open up again

I don’t know if I can explain this right, it’s just such a complicated situation 😢. Has anyone ever experienced someone who was only ever abusive to you and no one else?

It’s so hard to try to start loving myself when I was just beginning my journey on that before I met her, and then I met her and no matter how good I was to her I was treated like trash, and then shown it was exclusive to me, so it makes me feel less of myself more than anything ever has 💔

My parents are good people, but I never truly had a relationship with them until I was 19, and I'm only 21 now, and for a long time left unsupervised on the internet and met bad people, leading to me being groomed, only leaving my groomer at 18.

Other than the obvious grooming part I won't go into detail, they were an asshole, and I started acting the same way because I thought it was normal, I met them really young + Not sure if it can be listed as a reason but as someone on the Autism spectrum I struggle with knowing how to act, and even today I basically copy and paste behaviors I learn/see from others, and trying to figure out how to act as a person by seeing traits I think are good.

I treated people badly in my teenage years, to both friends and family. I think that behavior was most prevalent up until I was 19, where it began to tone down and despite it just two years ago, I feel like I've matured a lot especially thanks to friends who hold me accountable and I'm close to my family now who Ive learned are good people and not the bad people my groomer convinced me they were, and they often share life lessons with me.

Yet despite me knowing I'm a different person, that I just replicated what I thought was normal, I still feel bad, because it was only 2 years ago I started to change, it's quite recent. I want to forgive myself or at least not feel that bad about it. What do I do?

My partner and I had a fight and she went no contact. I’m alone in my house and I’m struggling so much. I’ve tried to see friends and cuddle my pets, but I’ve never struggled so hard it cried so long in my life. Please help me love myself in my despair Reddit

Worth isn’t something you have to prove to someone who cannot, or will not, see it.

I just want to post it here to let it off my chest. I will have a good cry about this soon, but I also want witnesses to how I feel right now.

In my self love journey, my genuine self love has recently been labelled as selfish and narcissistic by my own partner.

I have done so much for them, they know it, we have talked about it. For years I have been adjusting for them because I was used to setting myself aside for other people.

Now that I have learned my boundaries and the kind of love I would want to receive, the dynamic has changed. And tonight I have been labelled as narcissist, and selfish. It hurts to hear those words because I know I am not that. I have asked my therapists and my cousin who is also a therapist and I have consistenly been told I am not.

I will be okay. It is just too much of a pain to hold it all at once right now. I am thankful for this space. If you read until the end, thank you for being my witness.

I know parents disappoint but its different after forgiving them, you know. Especially now since they know what I have been dealing with they might use that as amo. How do I embrace it all? Soon enough when I make a silly mistake they are going to point it out and say that im judging them for their mistakes but I make mistakes too. Doesn't make sense. Idk how you can expose me to abuse then get angry when I forget to buy something and say that those mistakes are the same