I live with my girlfriend and a 3 years ago I bought an expensive tv. I mentioned to my gf that I’ll dust it etc so she shouldn’t clean it since she usually dusts the living room. She agreed to this.

Last weekend we were cleaning and she sprayed the tv and wiped it. The screen is now unwatchable. I mentioned to my gf that she needs to replace the tv or pay for the screen to be repaired. When looking at costs it is cheaper for her to just replace the tv.

She refused to do this and said It was my tv so I should replace it. I pointed out she was the one who broke it so it’s her responsibility. she said it was too expensive and I shouldn’t be expecting her to spend that much but I just repeated that it’s on her to replace since she broke it.

I pointed out if I crashed her car she’d expect me to pay but she tried to argue it was different.

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this or have any other views on it?

tldr my girlfriend broke the screen of my tv. When I mentioned she’d have to get a replacement she argued she shouldn’t have to because she didn’t mean to break it,

My fiance and I have bought a house and we have a shared account for housing expenses. We both pay into it each month.

She’s used it for things such as buying new things for the kitchen, such as replacing the fridge freezer despite the old one still working, she’s gotten a new bedside cabinet, a new make up desk and a few decorative bits. 

Our tv is a few years old now and I was thinking about upgrading. There’s more than enough in the shared account and would still have a lot left over. I mentioned this to my gf and she said I shouldn’t be using the shared account for it since it’s just something I want and not a need. 

I pointed out most of the things she’s used the account for were wants and if you total everything she’s bought, it’ll come to around the same price as the tv or even slightly more, 

She said again I shouldn’t be using the shared account. I tried arguing a compromise of using half from the shared account and half from my savings but she still said no. 

I told her it’s meant to be a shared account and she’s acting like it’s solely her money. I said I’m entitled to use the account just as much as she is but she argued I was being unreasonable, 

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this if have any other views on it?

tldr my girlfriend is arguing I shouldn’t be using the shared account to buy a new tv despite her using it regularly to buy things she wants.

I [23F] am constantly worried if my boyfriend [23M] is the one for me

I have OCD and relationship ocd so I constantly feel anxiety about whether our relationship is “right” or not. Does your partner always laugh at what you say, always understand everything you mean, always give you a look when you know what they’re thinking? Especially as we are getting to the age of marriage/engagement I start to worry. I love him and he is 95% perfect for me and everything. Is this how a normal relationship is? Do other people get married knowing their spouse isn’t 100% perfect for them? Does he always have to be perfect in order for me to be with him for ever? I know this sounds dumb but it makes it hard for me to fully enjoy. I find myself picking him apart and feeling miserable because I am nervous.
Context: we have been together 3+ years and will move in together in the next 2 years (not rushing at all). We have had 3 big fights our whole relationship. We see each other often and are very sweet to each other, love each other immensely.
TLDR: I’m wondering if you can marry somebody who isn’t a clone of you or 100% perfect for you in every single way. How do you know if somebody is “the one”?

My boyfriend [25M]was diagnosed with depression last year after getting into a car accident. He is still in recovery but is able to walk, but it hurts all the time even if he stays in bed all day. Because of this accident, I [21F] had moved in with him last year to help him with things around his house and to be his support system through his recovery. Fast forward to a year later, we seem to have found ourselves in a rough patch. He is currently not working as walking around at his job was slowing his recovery and causing him a lot of pain. I am currently working full time and also studying part-time to get my degree.

Recently, he has developed this habit of not telling me when he is upset about something, and would only tell me if I kept asking him about it. He would be very quiet the whole day, won’t eat and lie in bed all day, which is a tell tale sign for me that something is up. I know that all the above is common effects of depression, but normally he will eat with me because he enjoys eating with me, and he would play his computer games instead of lying in bed. He constantly has this idea that he is burdening me or that I don’t love him and it has recently escalated into fights. He would bring up some scenarios to prove his point, but most of the time, I feel that he just misunderstood the situation and didn’t bring it up to me, which lets him simmer in his feelings for too long. I overthink too, but I have learned that I need to bring it up to him instead of keeping quiet and assuming. I have brought this up to him before and he said he would try to communicate his feelings to me. With our recent “fight”, I told him that I am trying my best to help him and that I felt that it’s not fair to me if he doesn’t communicate his feelings and just assumes the worst of me. He does support me as well, especially when school or work is stressing me out, he always does anything he can to help me feel better. Yes, he is on medication and is seeing a psychiatrist.

In all honestly, I am trying not to break. I am trying to juggle school, work, my social life and having breakdowns due to our fights. I have tried looking up some advice to help improve my mental health like working out, meeting up with my friends, having some alone time, doing things I like etc. I am doing all these things because I want to be strong for him, so that I can be his support system. I want him to get better because seeing him like this breaks my heart. I don’t tell any of our friends or family about our current situation because I don’t want them possibly judging him. I have considered going to therapy as I feel like I need a someone to hear me and help me through my feelings, but I am worried if I bring it up to him, he will think that he is burdening me. I also fear that I might be too immature to be his support system due to our age gap. This is my first time being with a partner that has depression and I’ve never had depression before so I can’t know exactly how he is feeling/thinking. How do I navigate through this and help him get better? Any advice on how to keep myself together? Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: My boyfriend has depression and I need advice on how to be there for him and stay strong myself.

My girlfriend was flying home from holiday but her luggage was overweight and had to pay extra fees at check-in. She was stressed, people queuing behind her, unexpected costs. The business class rate wasn't much more than the fee, so she called me and asked me to find out what an upgrade to business would cost (she thought it might be cheaper than the desk).

I tried. The booking couldn't be managed online because the flight was too close to departure. So then I looked up that exact flight and sent her the current economy vs business prices so she at least had the difference to work with.

That wasn't what she wanted. She wanted the exact upgrade price, which I had no way to access. I found out later that what she wanted was for me to try and find as many different avenues to a solution, e.g calling the airline, asking people etc.

When I wasn't able to find a solution, she was furious, shouted down the phone, and called me useless. When I told her the two things I'd searched, she said "leave it." I was angry at being spoken to like that, but I didn't show it. In the end, she didn't even have to pay the fee. I completely understand that she was stressed, frustrated and her partner wasn't able to provide for her, so I didn't make a big deal at that point.

After she landed, she kept going over how I should have found the upgrade price. I explained what I'd tried. She said I "never have solutions" when she asks for help. I told her I'll always try my best, she can always ask me for help, but trying doesn't guarantee I'll have a solution every time. I also told her that shouting at me and calling me useless was out of order.

She hasn't apologised. Her response was "that's how I felt in that moment" and "were you useful? no, what else was I supposed to say?" When I said I wasn't happy and wouldn't accept that her behaviour was okay, she said she was "done with this". We've now swept it under the carpet yet again, but I do feel really frustrated and resentment building.

How do I bring this up to her without it going into an argument?

TLDR - GF faced an overweight bag fee at check-in and asked me to find the business upgrade price mid-queue. The exact price wasn't accessible remotely, so I sent her the closest thing, economy vs business fares for that flight. She screamed at me and called me useless. She ended up not paying the fee at all. She refuses to apologise ("were you useful? no").

TLDR: I feel pain and emotional emptiness after putting so much into previous relationships

So, I'm 20, a guy. Back when I was 18, I met this girl, 20F. We were together for about six months, but it just didn't work out. The reason she broke my heart was because her brother was trying to set her up with his friend, who was apparently some big shot manager with a lot of social status. She really put me down with that whole idea, like she was seriously thinking about it. So, I just told her straight up that if she was looking for a better life, that guy was probably a better option than me. I told her that if she truly loved me, she would have picked me. I really cared for her, and I made sure she knew that. After that, she left, and I was left with this massive hole in my heart and a ton of pain, but I tried my best to get through it.

After a while, I dated another girl, 19F, for a super short time. But in just a month, she started ignoring me, and honestly, I got sick of all these relationship dramas. So, I decided to focus on myself and ended up doing some pretty amazing stuff for my age. But sometimes, when I'm all alone, I feel this deep emptiness inside. It feels like nobody truly cares about what I'm doing, and there's no one to share my successes with, though that feeling wasn't too strong at first.

Then, five months ago, I was gaming online with this guy, 20M, who lives in a totally different country. Over time, we really started to like each other. Now, for me, being in a gay relationship is a huge no-no in my country and with my family, and it would be really tough. But I told him I didn't care about those rules. I'm the kind of person who loves with all my heart and doesn't care about the cost, and I was determined to make this difficult situation work. I also found out he wasn't even gay.

We were together for about three months. I really loved him, and he brought so much joy into my life, making me appreciate all the things I'd accomplished. I'd eagerly wait for his messages every day. I poured everything into that relationship, always trying to be there for him, showering him with gifts, and giving him all my support. During that time, I tried to tell him about all the important things that might make our connection tricky. I wanted to be open from the start so I wouldn't get too attached only for things to fall apart later. But after three months, he told me he wasn't used to a gay relationship and really wanted to talk about our situation, wanting us to decide together whether to keep going or end it. But I never wanted to pressure him, so I encouraged him to do what he wanted. I agreed to his wishes, telling him that his happiness was my happiness. My feelings for him were real, so I genuinely wanted him to choose whatever made him happy. He decided to end the relationship but suggested we stay friends, and I still send him messages sometimes.

Now, though, I'm feeling way more pain than before. This emptiness is super intense

My boyfriend [23M] and I [F21] have been dating for a year and a half, we’ve had our ups and downs as most couples do. I made many mistakes in the beginning which led to him not trusting me (no cheating involved whatsoever). I did take accountability for my wrongdoing and vowed to fix it and gain his trust back.

I feel like I’ve done everything I can to gain his trust, including cutting people off, focusing on myself and our relationship, and much more that he requested I do. I’ll give him a lot of credit for allowing me to earn his trust back and for forgiving me.

The problem came in recently. After a year of working on everything, I finally felt like we got to a place where we were equals and not one having moral superiority. He is allowed to do almost anything he wants to do (I’m not a very controlling person) But I must listen to everything he says, if I fail to do so I’m told a multitude of hurtful things including that I’m “different” now or that I don’t truly love him or that this isn’t what he wants in a relationship. I’m getting worried because I’ve started being irrationally scared of his reaction to me doing very normal things like going out with friends past a certain time, going to a dinner that includes more than one guy, etc.

He doesn’t mean the things he says, he says them to gain control over me because he knows the type of person I am. Is there anyway we can work through this? This is my first long term relationship, is this normal and should I just put up with it and hope things change? Before anyone asks if I’ve brought this up to him, I have, he says we’re just different people and that’s why things seem unbalanced.

I know a lot of people are going to tell me to leave but I am so in love with him and if he wasn’t as controlling he’s the perfect guy.

TLDR: I feel like our relationship is unfair, he disagrees and feels like this is how it has to be.

I [22F] and my boyfriend [22M] have been together since March (a little over 4 months). We met in college (he was a senior since graduated and I’m going into my senior year this upcoming semester) everything has been amazing and we are a perfect match for each other.
Towards the beginning of our relationship I noticed he had a lot of female friends which I don’t mind but at one point we were hanging out and one of his friends called we’ll call her Liv. Liv called my boyfriend a decent amount to drive her to classes and study sessions and the like. Which also wasn’t an issue but when I really questioned anything was when she was having a hard time he went to her dorm to help and then a few minutes later came back and told me they were going to go drive around. After that I asked a few times if they had ever been a thing if feelings had been involved etc. He said there never was and they were just friends. Less things happened and then the school year ended. No worries.
Fast forward and now insert a different girl we’ll call Ari into the mix. Ari is a girl he apparently met at the gym. I have never met Ari but my boyfriend is consistently talking to her. I thought it was just streaks at first until the first time I actually looked at his phone (not out of going through it but I’m nosey and we are both open like that). I looked through their snaps and noticed he’d been sending her very similar things he’d send me (cars or flowers of her favorite color talking a lot etc.) I talked to him and without mentioning Ari I said it made me feel less special and other things. He apologized and I thought it got better. She left my mind and I wasn’t worried.
The other day I had forgotten my phone when we went to the pool so I was scrolling on his TikTok. I found a video I liked and went to send it to myself but I seen Ari was above me on his recent sent list. I didn’t know he sent her videos. This got me looking. I looked through their snaps and TikTok’s and while nothing was “wrong” some things through me off.
1) they talk a lot. On many forms. He sent her his tattoo ideas and he also texts her on messages and now he’s talking to her through at least 3 apps if not more.
2) something that really bugged me we had gone to the gym and I helped a girl with a car issue. He texted Ari saying that he helped a girl with a car issue. No mention of me.
3) when digging into her account (one of my burner accounts) she posted on TikTok 2 videos around when me and my boyfriend got together one saying “just met a new gym baddie” another saying “gym friend just gave me chocolate chip banana muffins” which we had made around that time. To note this was before we were officially dating but when we had started talking.
4) he streak is only 5 days longer than mine making me think he met her similar ways he met me not through the gym.
All of this is driving me crazy and affecting my mood. I know he would never cheat and I trust him completely (plus we are constantly together) so I’m not suspicious of anything I just don’t feel comfortable with the attention and amount they are talking and how they are talking.
I don’t want to be the girlfriend who says he can’t be friends with someone but I also don’t feel great about how often they talk and how they interact. How do I tell him without seeming too insecure and without seeming too demanding. I’m also worried because of the amount of times I brought his other friendship and this one up earlier that he’ll start thinking less of me. (He’s been amazing every time I bring it up and gives me no reason to think he would think less of me but it’s still something I’m working on and wrapping my head around) please help.

TLDR: boyfriend talks to another girl often and I don’t know how to bring it up

I[20NB] have known my friend J[21F] since elementary. We live in the same town and have our whole lives. Over a year ago she got into a relationship with S[25M]. Throughout it S has been not only emotionally abusive (guilttripping, lovebombing, DARVO) but also incredibly invasive with J's boundaries. He has gone thru her phone multiple times without consent, stalked her previous hookups/lovers, and destroyed/thrown out her things. They have broken off and gotten back together multiple times. Last time was for a month or two, I spent the entire time trying to get her to block him and keep him blocked. She ended up deleting most of her social medias in that time in order to be more present ig? Her mom made a big fuss about that.
S and J got back into a friendship, then fwbs, and then an unofficial couple. Which means, back together just without the labels and without telling anyone but me. I've been urging J to get therapy throughout the entire break, and even into the reunion. I see S as a very mentally&emotionally dangerous person for her to be around, and have been really worried for her. I've tried not to press her too much on it unless she comes to me in worry that it might upset her. I care so much about her, and I'm extremely worried. I found that J had blocked me today on the only social she still had. I texted her normally over messages this evening trying to make sure she was okay. Last time she cut me off was because she was trying to isolate after her original break off.
Her boyfriend has tried to push that I'm a shitty person onto her for not being in a heteronormative relationship model (not for being bi, but for remaining friends with those ive dated in the past, being polyamorous, etc). AKA having good boundaries with the people I surround myself with and making peace with those I've loved.
I don't know what to do. She hasn't responded to my message, I'm extremely worried her boyfriend is trying to cut her off from everyone who cares about her. I'm hoping J will still be in contact with mom as they were scheduling a get together for food sometime soon. I'm afraid J is in danger and I don't know what to do. I've tried my best to convince her to cut contact and I'm lost and I don't want to lose her, or even worse to happen.

TLDR; my friend[21F] has been on and off in an abusive relationship. Today she blocked me, I'm extremely worried for her and I'm unsure what to do.

Please give me advice or something. I'm worried sick and I don't know what I can do to help her.

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. He’s always said it takes him a long time to trust people, and I understand where some of that comes from.

Recently I brought up wanting to go to the Ne-Yo/Akon concert. Of course I’d want to go with him, but he said he doesn’t want Akon and Ne-Yo to be his first concert. My friends don’t listen to either artist, so I asked if I could just go by myself — I’ve gone to concerts alone before with no problem before I got into a relationship. He said I can’t drink if I go alone, because he doesn’t trust me when I’m drunk. My personality is empathetic and caring toward pretty much everyone, including strangers, and he thinks that if a guy hit on me I’d just assume they were “being nice” and wouldn’t pick up on it. I don’t think that’s true — when guys have approached me before, I’ve always said “I have a boyfriend,” even back when I was actually single, just because I didn’t want to be bothered.

Last month I went to his graduation party with his family and met all his cousins and friends. His cousins are heavy drinkers, so it was basically shot-o-clock every couple minutes. I’ll admit I got too drunk — more than I’ve ever drank before. Near the end of the party, one of his cousins, who was also super drunk, kept trying to talk to me and kept telling me to come over, so I did. He mostly just kept saying “take care of T” (T is my boyfriend) and gave me a long talk about me taking care of T. My boyfriend tried to step in and pull me away from the conversation, but I wasn’t listening to him at that point. I could tell his cousin was really drunk, so I kept asking if he wanted water instead.

What I didn’t hear — but what happened (there’s video proof) — was his cousin telling me to come over in a pretty disrespectful way, which is why my boyfriend kept trying to get me away from him; he already knew his cousin was just talking drunk. I genuinely didn’t catch that part, and being drunk myself, I was a little slower to pick up on things than usual.

When the party ended and he was driving me home, he was extremely upset that I hadn’t listened to him. I get that I should have — but I was trying to hear his cousin out, and being drunk didn’t help. Ever since that night, he’s brought this incident up as if I was acting inappropriately with his cousin, which I absolutely was not. I was just trying to be sisterly, but he doesn’t see it that way, and he still brings it up.

I get why he was upset in the moment, but I’m stuck on whether it’s fair that he keeps bringing this specific incident up as proof he can’t trust me, when I genuinely wasn’t doing anything wrong other than not listening to him — I just didn’t hear the disrespectful part before he tried to pull me away. How do I get him to see the difference between “she didn’t listen in the moment” and “she can’t be trusted,” or am I missing something here?

TLDR At my boyfriend’s graduation party, I got too drunk and didn’t listen when he tried to pull me away from a conversation with his very drunk cousin (who I later found out was being disrespectful, though I didn’t hear that part). He’s brought it up multiple times since as proof he can’t trust me. I don’t think what I did was actually inappropriate, just that I didn’t listen in the moment. Trying to figure out how to address this with him without it turning into another fight.

I [23f] have been with my boyfriend [31m] for a little over two years now and have recently been having some serious problems within our relationship concerning boundaries. (That’s a post for a different time) a huge thing for me is that he still has the promise ring that he gave to his previous girlfriend. That girl was his first relationship and they were together for some years however that ended over 8 years ago. He used to often talk about her and how “horrible” she was as a person and that he felt forced to be with her. He talks about how he “had no choice but to financially support her” and makes it seem like all of this was against his will. But he still has this ring. When I asked about it he tells me it was a funny story about the ring that he got it for her for Christmas and they ended things three months later. I missed the joke I guess. I find it disrespectful and it makes me feel like he still wants her. We live in an apartment together and I’m the breadwinner. I work full time, cook, clean, and go to school full time. He brought this ring to my home. I asked why he still had it and he kept saying he wants to sell it but it’s been 8 years that you haven’t sold it your in an entire new relationship. I don’t know how to react about it. It’s a beautiful ring. It’s bring me a lot of anger though and my impulsive thoughts make me want to text his previous girlfriend because she frequently stalks my page on social media and give it back to her and tell him to go with her too. He has told me that she has begged him to go back to her and that she said “she messed up with a good man” I want him to get rid of it throw it away but I don’t want to have to tell him that I want it to be his decision

TLDR he has the promise ring that he got for a relationship that was 8 years ago and still hasn’t gotten rid of it. I hate it, I find it disrespectful and want it gone

Am I toxic for thinking this is way? How would you react?