im in the worst state I’ve ever been in, basically catatonic. my life is beginning to fall apart at the seams because I can’t function. giving it time is actually making me worse, I’m completely out of energy to even move. it feels like my heart is not even beating. this doesnt feel like DPDR anymore, it feels like my body and mind are shutting down.

i cant explain it but it’s as if my sensory, memory and energy systems are off completely. I’m just a void, and you can’t function as a void. I have to keep a roof over my head and I spend most of my time down on the sofa or in bed. all I have in my head all day is loops of music, no coherent thought at all. I basically operate on muscle memory, that’s it. if I had to go off feeling and connection, I’d probably be on the street. I’m getting close to even losing my housing because of how bad this has gotten. each day of fighting just to make it through an hour, a minute. it’s suffocating. I’m not at home anywhere, because there is no history or self to connect to. I find myself even missing my childhood because at least I was me.

how do you get out of bed everyday when there’s no reality to interact with? when there’s no self or meaning, or even energy. it’s not even about feelings anymore, it’s that my energy is basically on 0% and I can’t find a way to recharge it, no matter I sleep, rest, meditate, ground, etc. it’s getting worse by the day and I’m just completely exhausted & can’t even make a decision about what to do next.

I‘m curious on if this is for other people as well, but when I think of people around me as a concept it’s fine, but when I try to have an emotional understanding of who they are it feels like that person is a stranger even if I logically know who they are. It doesn’t always feel this way though when I think about it, but it’s especially present when I look at someone. Looking at them it feels like looking at a stranger and then their actions feel odd to me, even though I know who it is, it feels like I don’t. Does anyone else find when they look at people it’s a worse feeling of disconnection?

Has anyone else experienced this during DPDR recovery?
Lately I’ve been feeling a weird kind of nausea in my stomach. It’s not like I’m about to throw up—it feels more like nervousness or anxiety sitting in my stomach. I’m not sure how to describe it.
One thing I’ve also noticed is that I’m able to sleep longer than I was before, which makes me wonder if that’s a sign that I’m healing.
Has anyone else had this strange stomach feeling during recovery? Did it get better over time? I’m just trying to figure out if this is part of the healing process.

Hi everyone,

I’m trying to figure out whether what I’m experiencing sounds more like DPDR or OCD centered around the fear of DPDR.

Most of the time I feel completely normal. The whole thing usually starts with an intrusive thought like: “What if I suddenly get severe derealization and it never goes away?”

As soon as I have that thought, I get really anxious. Then I start checking how everything feels, Googling symptoms, and focusing on whether the world feels “real.” The more anxious I get, the more everything starts to feel strange or unreal.

Once I calm down or get distracted, the feeling goes away completely and I feel normal again.
So for me, the feeling of unreality doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere—it always follows the intrusive thought and anxiety.

Has anyone here experienced something similar? How did you differentiate between actual DPDR and OCD/anxiety about developing DPDR?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences

My doctor recommended that I have blue light glasses to calm my nervous system, does this actually work, everything just looks blue…

Hello, I have been struggling with dpdr and diagnosed somatized anxiety and I was wondering if anyone else ever has this really annoying feeling of one arm feeling weaker than the other, I just had a neurological visit and they excluded neurological causes for all of these strange feelings that I have with anxiety but this one really scares me, does anyone else relate?

hi! i’ve been suffering from dpdr for the last 3 years, and i had tunnel vision since then. recently i consulted a therapist who told me that when tunnel vision is caused by anxiety it cannot be constant, and recommended me to see an optician.

so i went to my family doctor to get a referral and she told me she can schedule to get checked check for glaucoma ( something that can cause permanent vision loss) and naturally now i’m shitting my pants.

i wanted to know if anyone else suffers from constant tunnel vision and if anybody who suffers from dpdr got checked for the same thing. i guess i’m just really scared and looking for some relief reason.

I had a long conversation with my best friend tonight explaining how isolated I feel in this and how my childhood made me stuck at 34 years old in this horrible state. when I talk about the memories, it’s as if they didn’t happen to me, or even happen at all. I look out at the night sky and none of it feels real either. there’s no panic, no fear, just sheer disconnection from my reality and my history. it’s getting worse every month that passes by, and I don’t know how. I’ve lost everything about myself completely, like I can’t even comprehend it. I know I need to stop focusing on it, but it’s absolutely terrifying. fuck this disorder, so much.

So I’m gonna delete reddit while i recover from this but i need something to keep me going while i wait and also get a therapist. Especially because i really don’t know how much longer i can do this because my depression has gotten so bad. I’m pretty sure my dpdr was triggered by intense panic and a lot of built up stress from my fucked up fast food job, but i just feel so hopeless. Especially because majority of the stories here are saying they’ve been in this for 10 or 20+ years and it is not helping me

Self-analysis can be an important stage of recovering from DPDR because it helps you understand what's happening. But healing often begins when understanding stops becoming constant monitoring. The thoughts and sensations may still arise, yet you gradually commit to living, connecting, and acting anyway. Over time, reality becomes something you participate in rather than something you keep checking for.

Even if it feels like it's "just in your head," or you worry that you're idealizing or exaggerating what you're going through, please try to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. There is a difference between describing your symptoms and letting them define your reality. Keep putting words to your experience without letting those thoughts become your entire identity. The goal isn't to convince yourself that nothing is wrong—it's to understand your experience while continuing to participate in life despite it.

Recovery, at least to me, isn't the absence of every strange thought or sensation. It's gradually becoming more invested in living than in constantly checking whether you finally feel "real" again.

It’s just severe depersonalization. Haven’t had a panic attack in two years. I feel left out when I see everyone in this sub talking about OCD & panic attacks. No hate to them though because those things do suck, a panic attack initially started this for me so I get it. But I just.. don’t have it anymore

Today I had a vivid dream, see I know that vivid dreams are one of the symptoms of dpdr so some people see may see this symptoms as a negative. But while dreaming, these are the only times when I FEEL EMOTIONS , very vividly, like a normal person. And it's so amazing. It made me think that what a big disability that in dpdr people cannot feel emotions. You can't feel fully when you say bye to a friend who is going for a long and many other feeling and emotions sorry my post is not structured. I miss emotions not just because they felt heavenly awesome, another reason is the disability, you feel like a psychopath, Just living, surviving, nothing feels special.

I'm literally crying today I saw a dream in which I made a friend and was seeing off my friend, he was going and I felt weird emotions. I felt sad, and attachment to him. That was the time I felt human and then I woke up. BOOM, woke up in the plain emotionless world again! Feeling little to no emotions make us disabiling in a way that you lost people more easily, and I also can't feel that people get sad after breakup. Not beacause I'm cold hearted, just because I'm disabled. I have become disabled in a very weird way. I feel like shit. Actually I'm just thinking that I feel like shit becauss my brain knows at that moments people feel like shit but I'm not actually feeling like shit. I've always wondered why I felt so amazing when I was a kid and now I know it. Now I fucking know it!

And sorry for my broken english you cannot say nice read or beautiful post now LOL. I hope you'll read this and maybe share some thoughts if possible.These are some of my thoughts right after waking up from a nice dream.

Just curious, how many of you struggle with true memory issues? I can BARELY remember or picture last week or even yesterday. I'm still able to learn new things, but idk it feels like my past is such a damn blur. Even memories from before dpdr started are all such a blur. Normal dpdr?

Why not try looking at this experience from that perspective? Through mechanisms that aren't exactly pleasant—like anxiety—we have managed to experience something that many true meditation gurus take years and years of practice to achieve. Admittedly, since this isn't something we sought out, it is absolutely terrifying, especially at first; yet, paradoxically, we might be gaining access to a reality that is more "real" than that of someone who never steps outside the illusion of the self.

Does anyone else have simptoms like intensified after image so that even you you look at something for a few seconds you have after image, visual snow like vision, a weird perception of depth when in open spaces and having difficulty to stare at something at times, it's so weird. I have been to an eye doctor and nothing emerged from it.

A few months back I had a suspicion that my DP/DR was related to neurotransmitter clearance, specifically glutamate. Since then I found out I have an intermediate COMT/MTHFR genetic mutation that slows down the clearance of chemicals in my brain. Most doctors are black and white when it comes to this (either you have it or you dont) but having a slow clearance system can cause problems as well.

I started by removing everything I could find that triggers glutamate or sensitizes the NMDA receptors (mostly supplements, coffee, adderall, and alcohol which has a rebound effect).

Then I got my COMT/MTHFR under control with hydroxycobalomine, P5P, folinic acid, and creatine.

Then I added oral BPC157 to fix any gut issues as a lot of our nerochemical production comes directly from the gut.

I found a lot of healing just from those few things. This made me comfortable enough to introducing heavier support via peptides.

Phase 1 (complete): continue oral BPC, COMT/MTFHR stack, and add Thymosin Beta 4 (not TB500). This helps repair the mylein sheathing that may have been damaged from years of alcohol, nicotine, and stimulant abuse and reduces overall systemic inflammation.

Phase 2 (just started): continue BPC and stack, drop TB4, but added SS-31 which works in the mitochondria to stop Reactive Oxidative Stress (ROS) and repair cardiolipin.

Phase 3 (to come): BPC and stack, drop SS-31, add epitalon and pinealon to repair pineal gland and remodel sleep structure.

So far so good, still some "floaty" feelings here and there but nothing bad enough to stop my day. I think getting rid of the triggers was huge but the SS-31 seems to be another heavy lifter. Overall mood is high and physically feeling great.

This has been months of research and design but I think returning to normal (or at least a new normal) can be done.

Will update at the end of Phase 3 with more.

Keep fighting, dont give up, Peace be with you!

Hi guys.

Right now I’m having those thoughts again that I don’t recognize my husband. I know who he is, but it feels as if I don’t feel anything for him. I find myself thinking, How can he even exist? Who is he to me? Why are we together? I feel uncomfortable around him. I keep wondering whether this is a sign that I don’t want him anymore, or whether this whole feeling is coming from the fact that I no longer want to be with him. Anyone else?

It's been 2 years since I had my initial 'dissociative break'. I lost all sense of self, the memory of the last 30 years of my life became inaccessible, and I spiralled into the living nightmare that dissociative cognition can be.

After 18 months of therapy I've been feeling so so so much better. Not recovered, not the person I was, but able to return to reality, step back into my body, feel emotions and think in a manner that I recognise as 'normal' ... even engage with the future. Until this weekend - 48 hours just vanished. I know I did things from the evidence around the house but I wasn't present. I guess I had a dissociative episode and the cause? The cause was that I had a truly marvellous therapy session where I walked out and felt relief for the first time that I can remember.

I really don't want to return to this hell, it's left me feeling so scared again. Asking the question that we often ask ourselves as to whether this is an illness of the mind or an illness of the brain. Asking if I've the strength to go through this again. Knowing that in fighting this illness it's not going to be linear - that the successes might now come with a huge cost even. How perverse is it to have a positive experience and for that to trigger an episode? CPTSD ... I'd rate it as a 0/100.

I have had a persistent unusual visual-perceptual sensation for about seven years. It started approximately 15 minutes after I used cannabis and experienced a severe panic/high episode. During that episode, I became extremely frightened and felt as if I was disappearing or dying.

My vision itself is generally clear, and I do not have double vision. The problem is not that I cannot see clearly; it is the way the visual experience feels.

When I close both eyes and slowly open them, I feel as if the visual world is gradually reconnecting with or being integrated into my brain. When my eyes become fully open, I suddenly get a strong sensation that everything has “snapped into connection” or has suddenly been fully processed. The sensation feels very similar to what I experienced during the cannabis episode when it first started.

I can sometimes experience a similar sensation when opening one eye after keeping it closed, when shifting my gaze from side to side, or when changing focus from a near object to a distant object. I sometimes also notice a similar feeling with changes in sound or other sensory input. Normal blinking usually does not trigger it.

The sensation can occur spontaneously even when I am not deliberately checking for it. However, when I focus on it, analyze it, or repeatedly test it, it becomes more noticeable and distressing.

Along with this, I have chronic depersonalization/derealization symptoms. I often feel as if the world is unreal, dream-like, or disconnected, and I sometimes feel detached from myself or from my surroundings. I also experience significant anxiety, existential thoughts, excessive overthinking, doubts, fears, and inner restlessness.

I have had some OCD-like tendencies since childhood. When I receive an explanation or reassurance about my symptoms, I may feel relieved for a short time, but then new doubts and fears return and the anxiety comes back.

I would like a proper assessment of this persistent visual-perceptual symptom, as well as possible depersonalization/derealization, anxiety, and OCD-spectrum symptoms. I would also like to rule out any relevant eye or neurological causes.

So can you please tell me what I have !!

Hey, long time derealization haver here. It started like a lot of people here with a bad marijuana trip. I dealt with some pretty significant unmedicated and untreated anxiety after, with me starting meds about 3 years later. Since then I've been on tons of different medications over the years and have some success with my current 800 gabapentin, 100 pristiq working well.  I notice my anxiety is generally moderately low with some swings depending on lots of reasons. My main question for everyone here is can the foggy feeling ever truly go away? Is the medication now the thing making me feel this way? I’ve tried going off medication in the past with my anxiety becoming severe and my derealization becoming much worse. Has anyone here gotten off medication after over a decade of ssri, snri use and found you had worked through it?