im in the worst state I’ve ever been in, basically catatonic. my life is beginning to fall apart at the seams because I can’t function. giving it time is actually making me worse, I’m completely out of energy to even move. it feels like my heart is not even beating. this doesnt feel like DPDR anymore, it feels like my body and mind are shutting down.

i cant explain it but it’s as if my sensory, memory and energy systems are off completely. I’m just a void, and you can’t function as a void. I have to keep a roof over my head and I spend most of my time down on the sofa or in bed. all I have in my head all day is loops of music, no coherent thought at all. I basically operate on muscle memory, that’s it. if I had to go off feeling and connection, I’d probably be on the street. I’m getting close to even losing my housing because of how bad this has gotten. each day of fighting just to make it through an hour, a minute. it’s suffocating. I’m not at home anywhere, because there is no history or self to connect to. I find myself even missing my childhood because at least I was me.

how do you get out of bed everyday when there’s no reality to interact with? when there’s no self or meaning, or even energy. it’s not even about feelings anymore, it’s that my energy is basically on 0% and I can’t find a way to recharge it, no matter I sleep, rest, meditate, ground, etc. it’s getting worse by the day and I’m just completely exhausted & can’t even make a decision about what to do next.

I‘m curious on if this is for other people as well, but when I think of people around me as a concept it’s fine, but when I try to have an emotional understanding of who they are it feels like that person is a stranger even if I logically know who they are. It doesn’t always feel this way though when I think about it, but it’s especially present when I look at someone. Looking at them it feels like looking at a stranger and then their actions feel odd to me, even though I know who it is, it feels like I don’t. Does anyone else find when they look at people it’s a worse feeling of disconnection?

Hi everyone,

Sorry if this is a completely naive or stupid question, but I've recently development derealization that only occurs randomly, and only for like 30 minutes to an hour, so I'm not an expert.

I had a panic attack or DPDR episode so severe that I took a month off work. Through therapy I've realized that I had a very neglectful childhood and carry a lot of trauma, even though nothing like sexual abuse or violence occured.

I'm wondering, for those of you who have these symptoms from trauma, did working through that trauma ultimately help you get past the symptoms?

Thanks :)

I’ve been suffering with severe health anxiety for 1 year now and DPDR for 11 months non stop.

Recently my dpdr has been through the roof, very bad brain fog/memory loss short term, headaches, severe tiredness etc. Obviously due to my health anxiety i’ve convinced myself i currently have a brain tumor. The thing that’s really pissing me off the most tho is the dpdr and lost track of time. Days are just days now, and it’s like they are just trickling on. Everything before this use to be so much grounded and felt like actual days now it just feels as if time is just passing very quickly yet so slow.

One of my biggest things is that my dpdr started and it was just nothing looked real but NOW nothing feels real at all. It started a bundle of existential thoughts and being terrified that we are on a pale blue dot in a galaxy upon trillions of galaxies. Fucking terrifies me. I just don’t get why everything’s now taken so serious and why the fuck people are so okay with what the fuck is going on around us. It’s crazy.

——

If someone wants to PM me and has similar experiences please do. I need to know how to get rid of this once and for all. And everyone who says “just live with it” or “just accept it” Can scroll on…

My doctor recommended that I have blue light glasses to calm my nervous system, does this actually work, everything just looks blue…

I'm taking mirtazipine but don't like it :( wondering what meds have helped your DPDR? I can't think after taking these, not that I think anyway but I feel way too slow and I'm already not able to walk far. I hate taking them when I can't feel my own head/body it feels like they add to it. I'm in hospital so tomorrow going to ask about alternatives, any advice appreciated !

Has anyone else experienced this during DPDR recovery?
Lately I’ve been feeling a weird kind of nausea in my stomach. It’s not like I’m about to throw up—it feels more like nervousness or anxiety sitting in my stomach. I’m not sure how to describe it.
One thing I’ve also noticed is that I’m able to sleep longer than I was before, which makes me wonder if that’s a sign that I’m healing.
Has anyone else had this strange stomach feeling during recovery? Did it get better over time? I’m just trying to figure out if this is part of the healing process.

Hi everyone,

I’m trying to figure out whether what I’m experiencing sounds more like DPDR or OCD centered around the fear of DPDR.

Most of the time I feel completely normal. The whole thing usually starts with an intrusive thought like: “What if I suddenly get severe derealization and it never goes away?”

As soon as I have that thought, I get really anxious. Then I start checking how everything feels, Googling symptoms, and focusing on whether the world feels “real.” The more anxious I get, the more everything starts to feel strange or unreal.

Once I calm down or get distracted, the feeling goes away completely and I feel normal again.
So for me, the feeling of unreality doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere—it always follows the intrusive thought and anxiety.

Has anyone here experienced something similar? How did you differentiate between actual DPDR and OCD/anxiety about developing DPDR?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences

I had a long conversation with my best friend tonight explaining how isolated I feel in this and how my childhood made me stuck at 34 years old in this horrible state. when I talk about the memories, it’s as if they didn’t happen to me, or even happen at all. I look out at the night sky and none of it feels real either. there’s no panic, no fear, just sheer disconnection from my reality and my history. it’s getting worse every month that passes by, and I don’t know how. I’ve lost everything about myself completely, like I can’t even comprehend it. I know I need to stop focusing on it, but it’s absolutely terrifying. fuck this disorder, so much.

It’s just severe depersonalization. Haven’t had a panic attack in two years. I feel left out when I see everyone in this sub talking about OCD & panic attacks. No hate to them though because those things do suck, a panic attack initially started this for me so I get it. But I just.. don’t have it anymore

hi! i’ve been suffering from dpdr for the last 3 years, and i had tunnel vision since then. recently i consulted a therapist who told me that when tunnel vision is caused by anxiety it cannot be constant, and recommended me to see an optician.

so i went to my family doctor to get a referral and she told me she can schedule to get checked check for glaucoma ( something that can cause permanent vision loss) and naturally now i’m shitting my pants.

i wanted to know if anyone else suffers from constant tunnel vision and if anybody who suffers from dpdr got checked for the same thing. i guess i’m just really scared and looking for some relief reason.

Today I had a vivid dream, see I know that vivid dreams are one of the symptoms of dpdr so some people see may see this symptoms as a negative. But while dreaming, these are the only times when I FEEL EMOTIONS , very vividly, like a normal person. And it's so amazing. It made me think that what a big disability that in dpdr people cannot feel emotions. You can't feel fully when you say bye to a friend who is going for a long and many other feeling and emotions sorry my post is not structured. I miss emotions not just because they felt heavenly awesome, another reason is the disability, you feel like a psychopath, Just living, surviving, nothing feels special.

I'm literally crying today I saw a dream in which I made a friend and was seeing off my friend, he was going and I felt weird emotions. I felt sad, and attachment to him. That was the time I felt human and then I woke up. BOOM, woke up in the plain emotionless world again! Feeling little to no emotions make us disabiling in a way that you lost people more easily, and I also can't feel that people get sad after breakup. Not beacause I'm cold hearted, just because I'm disabled. I have become disabled in a very weird way. I feel like shit. Actually I'm just thinking that I feel like shit becauss my brain knows at that moments people feel like shit but I'm not actually feeling like shit. I've always wondered why I felt so amazing when I was a kid and now I know it. Now I fucking know it!

And sorry for my broken english you cannot say nice read or beautiful post now LOL. I hope you'll read this and maybe share some thoughts if possible.These are some of my thoughts right after waking up from a nice dream.

Hello, I have been struggling with dpdr and diagnosed somatized anxiety and I was wondering if anyone else ever has this really annoying feeling of one arm feeling weaker than the other, I just had a neurological visit and they excluded neurological causes for all of these strange feelings that I have with anxiety but this one really scares me, does anyone else relate?

Just curious, how many of you struggle with true memory issues? I can BARELY remember or picture last week or even yesterday. I'm still able to learn new things, but idk it feels like my past is such a damn blur. Even memories from before dpdr started are all such a blur. Normal dpdr?

I have to move to a new house, not even far from my old one and my mind is freaking out about it. every time I want to do something, I go through this with my nervous system. it wants me to avoid, it sends me intrusive images of me feeling unreal or not myself.

i feel like a prisoner and all this over 3 panic attacks 4 years ago. the worst part is that now I can’t even panic, there’s no physical anxiety or feelings at all. just this disembodied self. my mind is afraid of literally everything, any sort of change. the sad thing is that I was the most outgoing and fun person before this. I went wherever I wanted, did whatever I wanted. I never had these thoughts or fears. the thing is, I’m living my life and doing these things anyways - but my system worsens my symptoms when I do.

it doesn’t matter what I do, or how I cope with this, it continues. I basically have learned to live in this selfless state, no body, no felt emotions. just nothing but this loop of fear that I’m going to be unsafe, im going to be trapped, im going to go crazy. never ends. I feel like a broken human, this is like living in a never ending trip you can’t get out of.

i don’t fight with it, but it’s horrible living this way. a non stop voice in your head sending you these images of danger, of unreality, of loss of control. There’s no physical sensation anymore because the alarm has never gone off, and my body is burnt out. I’ll never understand how a panic attack can ruin your consciousness this severely, I feel crazy and insane worrying about these things people do daily with no issues. I also constantly get images and thoughts of how life used to feel, my mind is comparing my current experience to the past 24/7. I can’t be present in life or do anything new, like how is this even possible?

So I’m gonna delete reddit while i recover from this but i need something to keep me going while i wait and also get a therapist. Especially because i really don’t know how much longer i can do this because my depression has gotten so bad. I’m pretty sure my dpdr was triggered by intense panic and a lot of built up stress from my fucked up fast food job, but i just feel so hopeless. Especially because majority of the stories here are saying they’ve been in this for 10 or 20+ years and it is not helping me

Why not try looking at this experience from that perspective? Through mechanisms that aren't exactly pleasant—like anxiety—we have managed to experience something that many true meditation gurus take years and years of practice to achieve. Admittedly, since this isn't something we sought out, it is absolutely terrifying, especially at first; yet, paradoxically, we might be gaining access to a reality that is more "real" than that of someone who never steps outside the illusion of the self.

Self-analysis can be an important stage of recovering from DPDR because it helps you understand what's happening. But healing often begins when understanding stops becoming constant monitoring. The thoughts and sensations may still arise, yet you gradually commit to living, connecting, and acting anyway. Over time, reality becomes something you participate in rather than something you keep checking for.

Even if it feels like it's "just in your head," or you worry that you're idealizing or exaggerating what you're going through, please try to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. There is a difference between describing your symptoms and letting them define your reality. Keep putting words to your experience without letting those thoughts become your entire identity. The goal isn't to convince yourself that nothing is wrong—it's to understand your experience while continuing to participate in life despite it.

Recovery, at least to me, isn't the absence of every strange thought or sensation. It's gradually becoming more invested in living than in constantly checking whether you finally feel "real" again.

Does anyone else have simptoms like intensified after image so that even you you look at something for a few seconds you have after image, visual snow like vision, a weird perception of depth when in open spaces and having difficulty to stare at something at times, it's so weird. I have been to an eye doctor and nothing emerged from it.