My best friend Sarah and I were inseparable since 11.Everyone assumed we were a couple, but we were genuinely jus best friends. Her parents were extremely strict, but because they trusted me, we were allowed to hang out alone.

When we were 18, I took a break from all friendships because I needed some space for personal reasons. We didn't talk for months. During that time, Sarah got really sick and spent few days in the hospital.she told her friends not to tell me, but one of them accidentally brought it up. So I bought her favourite stuff and went straight to her house.

When she opened the door, she pulled me straight to her room. We were yapping like before. But then she told me that everytime someone visited her in the hospital, she hoped it was me. She started hitting me with a pillow while crying. I pulled her into a hug and gave her a quick kiss on cheek.

Something happened. One thing led to another and we started kissing and touching. Then her mom knocked on the door and invited to lunch. We stopped immediately. Lunch was awkward and I left right after.

We never talked about it. Over the next few weeks at group hangouts, vibe was totally off. She became distant and eventually started ignoring me. I tried to fix things, but she kept pushing me away, so I gave up and we went silent.

Months later on my birthday, she texted me and she confessed that around that time, another friend had tried to force a kiss on her after she rejected him, which freaked her out and made her pull away for all guys.

When I brought up what happened in her room, she said " it was you. I don't care"

Yet she insisted she had no feelings for me. Even though we both knew that wasn't true. She then asked, can you at least just be my friend?

Looking at everything that had changed, I told her no, wish her well and cut all ties.

It's been few years , but every single year on my birthday, she still texts me a birthday wish from one of her friends' phones.

My cousin was meant to get married last month, they had been planning it for over a year and it was a pretty big wedding. Venue was paid, dress was done, relatives were already flying in, my aunt had basically turned her whole house into wedding storage. There were boxes of decorations everywhere, I couldnt even sit properly in the living room without moving something. She was really excited too, like this wasnt one of those couples where everyone already knows theyre miserable, she genuinely thought she was marrying the love of her life.

About a week before the wedding I went out with a few friends and saw her fiance at a bar with one of the bridesmaids. I knew the girl obviously, not super close with her but ive met her loads of times. At first I didnt think anything weird because theyre both in the wedding and maybe they were sorting something out, plus there were other people around. Later on though I went outside to get some air and saw them near the side entrance kissing. Not a quick drunk mistake either, they were properly all over eachother and his hand was under her top. I just stood there for a few seconds thinking surely im seeing this wrong because WHO does that a week before their wedding, in public aswell??

I took a short video because I knew nobody would believe me without proof, especially that close to the wedding. I didnt confront them, partly because I was honestly shocked and partly because I didnt want them deleting messages or making up some story before I spoke to my cousin. The next morning I called my aunt first because I thought she would help me figure out the least horrible way to tell her. Instead she asked me to wait until after the wedding. She kept saying they had already spent nearly 30k, guests were travelling, everything was non refundable and maybe it was just one stupid mistake before marriage.

I thought she was joking at first, like genuinely. Then my mom called me and said basically the same thing, that my cousin was already stressed and telling her now would “humiliate the family.” I understand the timing was awful, I really do, but I couldnt stand next to her at that wedding knowing what I knew. I couldnt watch her marry him, take photos, sign everything and then tell her once the catering had been eaten because apparently that would be more convient for everyone else.

So I went to her apartment and showed her the video. She watched it twice, asked me to send it to her, then went into the bathroom and stayed there for nearly an hour. I was honestly scared she had fainted or something but she eventually came out and just said the wedding was off. The next day he admitted it had been happening for months, not once like everyone kept assuming. Apparently it started around the engagement party, which is also when that bridesmaid was helping my cousin choose decorations and acting like her best friend. I still cant wrap my head around that part.

My cousin keeps telling me I did the right thing and that she would never forgive me if I let her marry him knowing the truth. Somehow half the family are still angry with me though. My uncle said I shouldve confronted him first and given him a chance to explain, my aunt keeps bringing up the money they lost, and my mom said I “dropped a bomb” and then left everybody else to clean it up. I didnt leave anyone to clean anything up btw, I helped call guests, returned things, sat with my cousin for days and even dealt with his family when they came over arguing. But because I was the person who showed her, theyre treating me like I caused it.

The bridesmaids parents also asked me to delete the video because its damaging their daughters reputation. My cousin told me not to, incase either of them starts lying about what happened, so I havent. Now thats apparently me being cruel and trying to punish people. I havent posted it anywhere, havent sent it around, literally the only people who have it are me and my cousin.

I know some people will probably say I shouldve let him tell her himself, but what was I supposed to do, give him a deadline?? “Hey tell her by friday or I will” so he can cry, delete everything and convince her it was some innocent misunderstanding? Maybe I handled parts of it badly because I was panicking, but I dont regret telling her before the wedding. I regret that she got hurt, I regret that everyone lost money, but I didnt make him cheat and I didnt make the bridesmaid betray her.

Still somehow im the one who “ruined the wedding” and not the man kissing a bridesmaid 7 days before marrying someone else. Right okay.

Some six years ago I was broken up with by what I thought would be the love of my life and I was never quite the same after. It was the first time experiencing true, violently overwhelming love, and watching that end outside of my own control truly changed something deep inside of me. Over the last two years I've done some work to actually move on, and I felt successful, but still every relationship after felt flat by comparison. That is, until I met my current girlfriend; and that feeling came back. I've fallen for her, uncontrollably, deeply, and the happiness I always had is now being shared.

A few nights ago I dreamt and somehow found myself in the same city as where that girl from six years ago lived; I dreamt that I cheated on my girlfriend, with this person - we kissed. I felt terrible. Not just because I cheated and that's an evil thing to do; but because I felt like I ruined my life. Like everything I had going for me had been burnt to the ground, by myself, with only me to blame. Everything good and innocent had just been wiped out I was left with nothing but a churning stomach and a bad taste in my mouth. In my dream, I was faced with a decision: stay with my current girlfriend on whom I just cheated, or rekindle with this old ex. The only defined thought in my head was this: I do not actually want to rekindle things with this ex. I want my girlfriend. She's all I want. But I ruined it; I cheated. It can never be what it was. And even still, I did not want my ex - I wanted what I had already, all this time, but it's out of reach now.

And then, mercifully, I woke up. Soaked in cold sweat and gratitude, that these ruins existed only in my dreams . I gave my girlfriend a kiss, who stirred slowly, turned around and threw her leg around me, and I felt strangely stressed out by an overwhelming peace. I feel liberated from the prison cell I had carefully constructed in my own mind for over six years.

This has been sitting with me for two years. I've never told anyone, including my sister.

At her wedding I was in charge of the reception music, running the laptop during dinner and later during the open floor. She'd made a whole playlist, every song picked for a reason. Inside jokes with her husband, family memory songs, stuff like that.

One song was in there because it reminded her of her college boyfriend, not her husband. She probably didn't think anyone would notice, just a title buried in a long playlist. But I knew the story because she told me years ago during a late night phone call after they broke up. I don't think she remembered telling me, or that the song was still sitting in an old playlist she'd reused parts of.

About an hour before it was set to play, I sat there with the laptop trying to decide if this was my business at all. I didn't want to bring it up to her, that felt like it would ruin the night over something she probably wasn't even thinking about. But I also didn't want that song playing at her wedding to someone else. So I swapped it for another track later in the list with a similar feel, moved a few things around so it wouldn't stand out, and nobody noticed in the moment.

She never brought it up after. I don't know if she never realized, or noticed and just let it go. Her husband has no idea any of this happened. I've almost told her a few times since, usually after a couple drinks at family stuff, but I never know what it would actually fix at this point.

It still crosses my mind sometimes, usually when that playlist comes on at some family event and I hear the swapped song instead. I think I did the right thing. It still feels strange that I quietly edited someone else's wedding without them ever knowing.

I posted earlier about a little thrill I had in auto and feeling so emboldened by getting that off my chest, I want to share something much more intimate.

Last Sunday, it was pouring rain, trapping me and my husband inside our house. I decided to tidy up my pubic hairs down there and headed to the bathroom. To my surprise, my husband followed me. He leaned against the doorframe, watching me for a moment, before asking in this low voice if he could do it for me.

I hesitated but the look in his eyes made me melt. I said yes.

While laying back and letting him take the razor was intoxicating. The contrast of the cool and warm deliberate hands had my skin tingling. He was so focused, spreading me open with firm, confident fingers, being a little rough but so careful with the blade. Every slow stroke of the razor sent a shiver straight up my spine. I was completely at his mercy and I was incredibly, embarrassingly wet.

When he finished, he leaned down to place a soft, warm kiss right on my freshly bare skin and I nearly lost it.

I asked if I could return the favor. He agreed, sitting back and letting me take control. Tracing the razor around his balls feeling his breath hitch as I handled him, was an absolute horny trip. It was the best decision I made that day. I ca say I enjoyed it so much, it’s definitely going to be a regular routine for me now.

Just thinking about the next rainy day gets me worked up.

I've never really understood sex. Like I enjoyed it and there were times I thought I had an orgasm...

Today during solo play I orgasmed a proper orgasm and now I think all the other times I just got to the edge.

Im almost 30!!!

I don’t know if this is the right sub to post this in, but I wanted to tell someone, and also gather some thoughts on whether it was the right thing to do.

I have a neighbour who lives directly across my back alley, and I have noticed for months that they seem to not understand that people can see into your house at night if your lights are on and blinds are up.

They very often have the blinds mostly up at night and you can clearly see them walking across what would seem to be upstairs bedroom/hallway/closet. Their downstairs is visible as well.

I debated for awhile about saying anything, but I am personally sensitive to the idea of voyeurs purposely looking at people (have been victimized in the past), and while I understand people have the right to privacy in their own home regardless, I feel like they should be aware and empowered to better protect that privacy.

After much thought, I decided to walk over today and tape a simple note to their door:

“Hi. This is a bit awkward, but I wanted to let you know something in case you weren’t aware. At night, when your lights are on and blinds are open, it’s very easy to see into your house from outside. I apologize for brining this to your attention, but I thought you’d want to know so you may better protect your privacy.”

I didn’t want to note to be overly detailed or to be overtly telling them what to do, but after deliberation felt like if it was me and I really was not at all aware about this issue, I would rather have the information so I could protect myself.

(I am aware that some people are exhibitionists, and obviously it’s something I have wondered about. I haven’t personally spent time watching or anything (would never do that) to actually try to gauge the behaviours to see if they actually want people to look. But I figure if there is no change after my note then that may reveal if this is the motive.)

Let me know what you think.

When I was in 8th grade, I had constant relapses in my self harm. Over time, I realized that no one would care.

One day, after a very empty(?) Afternoon I broke a glass bottle on the sidewalk outside, picked up a shard and cut my right cheek.

I was right.

No one cared.

And now I have a scar to prove how little my life matters.

Every time I look in a mirror.

By month before this needs to be done. And believe it's not as easy as it seems and i know because I have attempted a few different times a few different ways. But I've done my homework this time and have a 3 step plan because I know life will want to fuck me over one last time so Ill have 2 other things happening at the same time to assure it gets done with maximum effectiveness. Am I sad? Yes. Am I angry? Yes. Do I deserve this? No. Will I die in peace? No. Will I die alone and when I'm found my two precious kitties will be eating my body cuz I said they could already.

Ok, that was a joke because I have less than 30 days to find them a good home. Had one set up but she found out i was arrested and changed her mind.

There is so much more to any story and didn't know how graphic i could get here so I'll stop here. But again, just wanted to be heard.

Thanks

My roommate never picks up her hair from the bathroom floor that she blow dries everywhere, so I pick up the hair and put it back in her hair brush... Am I going to hell?

I feel so lonely and desperate for companionship and love. Age 40 and have never been in a relationship. Last time someone asked me out was 12yrs ago. I knew it wasn't a good fit and he made me uncomfortable, so I said no.

Since turning 35, I get deeply depressed very regularly at the fact that I am no one's priority. I have no one to love and take care of.

I just feel really pathetic most of the time.

In my work and everyday life I present a persona of confidence and show thoughtfulness and strategic thinking.

I tell everyone who asks that I don't mind being single and I'm happy. I don't even try to put myself out there anymore because the rejection and disinterest of guys worsens the pain of my loneliness.

I have a national role where I travel the country, it can be intensely stressful at times. Particularly with some stakeholders who are combative, confrontational or just plain not nice to work with, these are the people I’m paid to “please” if you will as the Project Manager. So any problems or questions I need t have an answer - and I have found on my way to these - listening to the new Wrestlemania 42 version of Roman’s theme song legitimately gets me in the mindset that I run this show and these mother fuckers are going to acknowledge me.., and it works… call it corny, it is I suppose…. A tame confession here compared to others but didn’t know which other sub to get this off my chest. But yeah that’s it and it works for me.

I'm 62 years of age, and, for most of that time, I have not really had access to my emotions the way other people seem to. I don't really feel happiness, and, when my mood stabilizers are working, I don't usually feel all-encompassing rage or overwhelming depression. Just nothing. Over the decades, I've learned to fake happiness or concern or whatever the moment calls for, because I know that I live in a society with people and those are the kinds of things that normal people feel.

This has been going on for 45 years or so, both while I'm on medication and while I'm off it.

Skip to yesterday afternoon. I was flipping around on YouTube and I encountered a clip of the "My friends, you bow to no one" scene in The Return of the King, a movie I have seen innumerable times since it first came out. As I watched Aragorn take a knee in honor of the hobbits, I felt something wrong with my eyes, and I cannot stress strongly enough how surprised I was to find that I was crying. What the hell...? I didn't know what to do with the information.

Today I watched the scene in Avengers: Endgame where all the good guys start coming out of the portals, and I see the weary relief in Cap's whole being, knowing that he wasn't going to have to carry the weight of fighting Thanos all alone any more.

I started crying. I'm crying now as I type this.

I don't know what's going on. I've wanted to feel emotions the way others do, but I don't understand why this has happened so suddenly. I'm also wondering how far this will go. I don't have any experience marshaling strong emotions.

I'm confused and, to be honest, a little concerned. What's happening?

The guy in front of me in the Circle K made a hotdog right? No boat or napkins so whatever that's cool. Until he has to pay...THIS NASTY MF put his already half eaten hotdog, bare bun on the dirty counter to pull out his wallet and pay.

I'm 27 and I haven't peed myself since I was a little child. I didn't even think it was possible. I know there are always jokes about how you shouldn't use the toilet in your dreams but I didn't think it was possible to actually pee yourself as an adult. Well, last night it happened.

I used the toilet in my dream. It was a trap. But the thing is, I do sometimes have dreams about peeing but it has always stayed in the dream. Until yesterday. Thankfully though, I didn't completely wet the bed, only my underwear and pyjama pants but it didn't get on the bed, so that's a relief at last. Thank fuck because in the dream I remember peeing much more.

I always pee before going to bed and about 95% of the time, I get up at least once a night to pee, so I don't understand why last night I didn't wake up in time. Sometimes I wake up needing to pee but feel so tired that I just fall back asleep and still, I never peed myself.

This has just unlocked a new fear. It's happened, so who's to say it won't happen again? You can't affect your dreams or wake yourself up in time. I'm still completely horrified and embarrassed about what happened and feel anxious about going to sleep tonight. I felt anxious last night too, I was worried it would happen again but the worst thing is that apparently it can happen any time.

And I'm a little worried that the more I think about it the more likely it is to have a similar dream again.

When I was a little girl I always used to tell people I wanted to live outside of the USA. I remember at 5 years old saying when I was older I was going to move to Australia or Peru and would name like 5 countries I was going to move to when I was considered an adult. I am a 30 year old female that is Carmel color with curly hair. I still live in the USA. I never moved out of the USA but since I was a little girl it was always in the back of my mind that I would go to another country outside of the USA because I always knew I would be poor just like my parents were and their parents and the generations before me. Idk why I just always saw it coming that I was going to become an adult and I was going to hate my life in America because I wasn't smart enough to be a surgeon or doctor or lawyer or something prestigious and make tons of money. at 30 years old I think it's time for me to go somewhere else on this planet. There are lots of countries out there in the world I just have been doing my research. I just knew when I was 4 years old I didn't have it in me to break the cycle of poverty in the USA. I don't have any children yet so I think I could go somewhere else and envision a new life for myself... somewhere where i am not stressing that I don't have Chanel bags and Louis Vuitton and everything that is considered popular and trendy. luckily I don't have a criminal record but I was getting desperate recently for money and started thinking about breaking the law to make some money for material things. But then I watched tons of YouTube videos about people who were pulled over by the police when they were smuggling drugs in the USA or they were caught stealing money from their job or something. I knew I would probably get caught if I did something shady for money. But yeah, I just always knew since I was 4 years old that I would repeat the cycle of poverty in the USA. I tried to hold on to hope that I would work my way up in low paying jobs I had but those jobs took a toll on me and I would quit and start over at a new minimum wage job. At this point I rather live in a hut in Asia or something.

I was just at home working in my bed when I needed to fart, so I let it rip.
I was not a fart, my pants filled with shit :(
Writing this from the toilet.

Thought I could stop the flow with my cheeks, but the floodgates weren’t strong enough :(

Just showered too, FUCK.