Hiii ♥️ I'm 23 male and have been struggling really heavily with trying to understand and come to terms with my sexuality, I think I moreso lean towards straight most days but some days like today I'm not thinking about women at all and thinking about things with men, but the weirdest part to me is that it's only for men in fursuits 😅🤣it makes me blush heavily thinking about it, it sounds crazy to say but I just don't see or feel any attraction to a man until they put one on,at least a fursuit head,I'm not attracted to any other masks, only just furries 😭 I don't understand.

I want to try things with a guy so bad but i have a lot of social anxiety and paranoia and sensory issues with eye contact and skin contact, people just scare me in general, but the moment they're in a fursuit I would be fine with doing essentially anything with them >/////< I've thought about going to a furry con and hopefully trying to find a cute furry guy to help me with that, but I'm soo nervous and don't know how to approach one without being an absolute blushing mess 🙈♥️i tried approaching one once and I felt like I was talking to my first crush or something it was SO, EMBARRASSING,and before someone asks, yes I would absolutely love to do the same with a women but for whatever reason in moments like today I would rather do it with a man, wtf is wrong with me 😭 h e l p

40y

Recently single

Bi of course

Last two relationships (10y and 7y) were with men. Most of it was conditionally open at times.

I recently tried a couple of app, and am I on crazy pill gaslighting myself, or is the different in approach and connecting way way different between men and women?

Is it just me?

Like, I understand accept the following differences:

• 10-to-1 ratio of match men vs women
• Risk aversion
• Never putting sex first

But if I compare the 100's of guys I matched with vs the dozen of girls I matched with over the months, with whom there was a clear initial connexion, whats getting me is how little it takes to be unmatched with a woman:

• Being in the wrong area of town "I dont go out of such and such neighborhoods" (latest reason)
• Not being available on the specific day of the date ("now or never"), happened twice.
• Been single for not long enough
• I mentioned my ex twice in a convo

And thats not mentioning the ghosting, which is normal. People can simply lose interest.

Its rough out there. Thank god I'm bi so I have a sane humane baseline to go along with, with men.

So it's been maybe a month since I realized and mostly accepted I'm bi. The feelings come and go in intensity.

But it took me this long because, growing up in the 90s and 00s, the last thing you wanted to be was gay. And if you liked girls (I.e., got semi hard being near them and thinking about them), you knew you were good.

But now I've come to understand that, while Ive never felt too attractive to women, I apparently am attractive enough to gay dudes that they flirt with me and at least smile and make eyes and whatnot. And I was told by a gay coworker that I would do well if I ever came to a gay bar.

Which makes me think about high school: the culture was so different, right? Back in my time, saying something was "gay" was so common, I must've said it hundreds of times. "I don't like the new VW Beetle, it looks gay. The old one is alright."

Anyway, my point I'm getting to is that in my friend circle and on my sports teams were guys who would criticize me way more than other guys, saying I was being so gay about this or not. It made no sense because I wasn't actually doing anything effeminate...it was always something random.

But now that I understand I attract queer guys, it makes me wonder if the guys who were most critical of me weren't perhaps attracted to me a little. Maybe they are also a little Bi, and whenever I kinda triggered something, they had to behave shitty to me in order to not feel gay.

It makes sense to me, anyway. Plus, if I think about it, the dudes who did that to me were also kind of attractive to me. I wonder if it could be true at all. Anyway, life is crazy

So, I'm bisexual, and have been since I was 16, and that I'm genderfluid when I was 17, but upon realizing this, I've also realized that I'm DREADFULLY scared of talking to girls who are attracted to other girls, but not in an offensive way.

See, I always feel like girls are going to see me as a creep for talking to them or something. Since I'm bi and genderfluid, I worry that they'll see my identity as an excuse to try and get with them.

I'm curious. Do any of you have this sort of issue?

I believe I'm bisexual, though I often doubt it since it's such a gray area. I grew up in quite a conservative society where opposite-sex relationships were the norm, and there was absolutely no lgbtq representation around me. I had crushed on 2 guys before, from ages 10-16. Since realizing ( maybe?) I was bisexual a year ago, I've admired men physically but imagine a future only with a woman. How am I supposed to think? When I think of my future partner, am I always supposed to imagine 2 scenarios? How do I know whether I'm bi, lesbian or maybe even straight.

Im 17 and always had a thing for other boys but i nerver told anyone and only had 2 relationships with girls exept i didnt even were really sexually attracted to them and couldnt stand them anymore after a few weeks. So how the hell can i finally find a boyfriend even if i werent in the closet i dont know NOTHING help😭🤞

Hello everyone. I'm asking for your opinion, based on your past experiences. I'm a shy, anxious 27-year-old who, aside from a kiss on the mouth with a girl at 14 and a strong erection, has never had a romantic relationship. Over the years, I don't recall ever having a strong visual/aesthetic attraction to women, but during my adolescence and even today, I sometimes find myself drawn to the beauty of boys and think, "Oh, how hot, what a handsome boy!" This doesn't happen to me with girls.

During middle school (ages 12-13), I developed a pantyhose fetish from looking at my young teacher's legs (she occasionally took her shoes off), and I've had this fetish for a long time: I like wearing them every now and then, I like seeing women's legs wrapped in stockings, and I also seek out lesbian content featuring this fetish. I still remember a Christmas dinner, when a distant cousin of mine, in her 40s, was invited. She was wearing a short dress, opaque tights, and high heels that showed her heels. I was immediately attracted to her, so much so that I joked about her shoes and spent the whole day hoping she'd take them off, which she did. I even massaged a friend's feet in tights, and I won't deny that, besides enjoying it, I was incredibly turned on.

As I was saying, I'm very shy and afraid of other people's judgment (I don't talk about my fetish with other people): when they ask me, "Do you like that girl?" I always get anxious, just as when I see a handsome guy, my heart races and I feel a warmth in my chest and I think, "Maybe I'm gay?"

It's happened to me in the past, and it still happens to me, that when I become friends with a girl (e.g., a coworker my age), I automatically seek physical contact, stand close to her, touch her legs in playful situations, put my arm around her waist. In fact, with this coworker, I occasionally try to massage her shoulders and hair, and I even got aroused (in the sense that my penis was hard...). She didn't wear tights, specific. (if u ask about my fetish). ATTENTION: she was always ok, I never touch (and I will never do) a woman without her consent. At a wedding, I saw a friend of mine dancing with a girl, and I went dancing with her too. I remember her rubbing her butt against my butt.

I wondered: maybe my sexual desire - as my psycho told about sexual responsive desire - with girls is based more on the reactivity of physical contact, while with guys my sexuality is based more on visual immediacy?

Is there anyone out there who's had the same experience?

Thank you so much <3333

Virgin male 22. Always romantic attracted to woman, but since three years I started to like penises. I have sexual fantasies involving both sexes, but in real life, I dream of a woman. Could this be a pornography addiction? I’m not attracted to male bodies or faces only the penis and the sexual act itself. I had the chance to have sex with a man but turned it down because, in reality, I found it repulsive even though I fantasize about it when I’m alone, sometimes even more than about sex with a woman.I like it when a man finds me attractive. Who am i? What should I do? Should I give it a try with a man?

I, 18F, have gotten myself into a super tricky situation. I've had romantic feelings for my close friend, 18F, since freshman year of high school, and I confessed my senior year. She told me she had feelings for me too, but that she also liked a boy. I let the situation simmer until she told me she no longer had feelings for this boy and that it was just me. I got hopeful, but nothing happened. We just stayed close as ever, with more tension in the air. I've tried making the first move a couple times: asking her to prom, starting conversations, etc. but no luck.

After several months of this, I began to wonder if it was going to actually go anywhere. I didn't talk to anyone else in hopes that something would change.

We were driving back to her house for a sleepover one night when we started talking about our classmate and close friend that passed away recently. She opened up about how they almost kissed, but she was scared to make a move because she didn't want to ruin the friendship.

I kind of realized that she might feel the same way about me so I decided to take a step back to not add extra pressure. She's going through a lot and I don't want to add more craziness into her life.

This is where the boy (18M) comes in. He DM'd me on Instagram and we started chatting naturally. I didn't think anything was going to come of it, so I didn't tell anybody (including my close friend).

He asked me out on a date, and honestly, for the plot right? I said yes and had so much fun. We went out a couple more times until he invited me over to his house......yeah....I know. I said hi to his family and again, had fun, but this time, things got a bit intimate, and we kissed. We hung out at his house two days in a row, and now we're getting pretty deep into the talking stage.

And, of course, my close friend decides to tell me she rejected a guy because she already had a crush on me. SO now I am probably a complete asshole who's playing with people's feelings. What did I get myself into and what do I do now?

I’m struggling with these thoughts about wanting to date a girl often, I figured it was just my sexuality fluctuating often. But now I’m questioning what I want. I mean my bf is sweet and kind and he den a lot of time buying me gifts and trips deposits only dating for 4 months. But what once sorta started as what I thought was love is now causing me to question my love for him.

When I think about dating a woman it makes me wanna cry, like I’ve thought about dating a woman since I was a teen. I’m bi so I obviously feel attracted to men as well, but feel like I lose feelings with them easily. So when the feelings lasted 3 months instead of after a few weeks I felt like it was real, so we continued for a few more weeks before he asked me out and I agreed but asked to take it slow which he agreed. Now, 4 months later I’m questioning it again. I dunno how to bring this up to him, he’s bought us a trip to a con in like October this year, so I’d feel awful if I broke up with him or vice versa because of these thoughts, and he wasted his money. I know I’m attracted to women so to crave, wishing I was dating a woman feels wrong even with a bf. But now I’m not sure if I even like him now. When I look at him, I don’t want to kiss him, in fact I feel myself wanting to pull away. Which makes me feel nasty for only now realising I might not like him.

I know, I should just break up with him, or go in a break while I figure out my shit, but I don’t even know where to begin. Like “Hey sorry, I don’t think I’m in love with you anymore-“ or “I’m not attracted to you enough to wanna stay-“ I feel sick thinking about it. I know I should just man up but still, I feel awful for it. Especially just after 2 weeks ago I stayed down with him and he bought me stuff cause he wanted to. He’s one of the greenest flags I’ve ever met (minus some needing constant reassurance issues from an ex) Whay should I do? Should I go on a break or straight up break up? If so how should I go about it while hurting his feelings the least way possible…. I dunno how to bring it up.

14F I can’t consider myself a lesbian because I am attracted to men, but if I’m honest, I don’t want to date them.

Men are alright, and I can picture myself with one in the future, but this might be because my dad is homophobic and I want kids.

But women? A masc woman? I just want a gf so bad. I feel like I’d be so much more happy. I love women so much.

Help

As a man, im starting to explore my sexuality a little and im realizing i might be bisexual. I especially like feminine guys (so finsexual or whatever). But when i go on the internet to find a safe place with likeminded people (even on reddit, which is usually open-minded and left leaning) all i see is straight/bi women talking about how they would never date a bi guy because bi=gay somehow, or gay men saying they hate bi men because they're unfaithful i guess. Its to the point that i just dont wanna come out, im barely even attracted to men, especially not romantically, so its not like it'll be that much of an issue for me, but i cant imagine how bad it would be to not be in my position. Im sure this bigotry mainly exists on the internet, but still, why is being bi as a man considered so horrible, and why is this blatant bigotry being accepted even in LGBTQ communities?

Ever since I came out to her and went back in the closet due to her reactions essentially, things have been good cause the situation has been ignored in a way but I still get the occasional moments where she'll question everything still ....

It just sucks being a late bloomer I can't get over the fact that I feel like I ruined everything by confessing.

I'm scared of losing my relationship, and my kids.

Also, my ability to feel like I'm connected to God is on/off because of biphobia due to growing up in a homophobic household.

I feel like I don't have a right to be accepted by God or that I'm not worthy ...

I'm also scared of the thought of ever having to move on, to be honest I'd probably be single forever if I lose this relationship.... I don't know if I'll ever be ready to be out to the world so I wouldn't want to hurt anyone after being hurt t

I confessed to my gf cause I was already caught looking at things and she told me to it's ok to be honest, I thought it wouldn't turn out terrible which at first it didn't but it eventually did and now I never look the same to her...

I feel wrong but I feel baited too, she's a great person but this is part of her no no's and she's been dealing with it day by day like I have so I won't disregard her feelings cause she has her right to feel how she does but so do I....

Sorry just needed to vent.

This shit is scary and I feel like a fraud.

That’s it really. Just, fuck.

Helloo!! I'm a 27yo man who recently and finally came out after a lot of years repressing and doubting myself.

Long story short, some years ago I had some experiencies with a gay friend, which made me question my sexuality once again (and stronger than ever), and gave it a try. However, I wasn't feeling comfortable in the end, and assumed that I was then just hetero. But after years, I still have felt in some occasions some pretty non-hetero feelings... So after more introspection, I finally came to realize that maybe it was that I am indeed bisexual, but struggle with internalized homophobia (which would make a lot of sense because of some experiences when I was a child).

But, even now, after accepting that I am bisexual, I still find myself having doubts about that. Mainly because of how I feel attraction. Trying to keep it short, I find myself feeling atracted to women with ease, but when it comes to men, I very rarely find myself comfortable with finding them attractive, and I only find a very few men to my liking, mainly I only feel attracted to bears in gay slang. Only being attracted to a specific body type makes me feel uncomfortable with my attraction to men, and in the end my bisexuality in general.

TLDR: In conclussion, I struggle with internalized homophobia and with how narrow is my attraction to men, making me feeling not bisexual enough. I would love some advice about that from people who have struggled with it and have had similar experiences!

Okay so recently I’ve started to become repulsed by men. Sort of. Like I find them attractive and I can have crushes (I guess you could say) but when it comes to sex the whole time I’m just like “please cum quick” or I zone out during the whole thing. It’s never good and so I go long stretches without having sex because it’s not good. Whenever ever I do bite the bullet I feel worse than I did before.

Here’s the thing though. I find women attractive but I’m sort of picky with them. I enjoy making out with them (never slept with any). I don’t know what I am anymore I just know that recently I don’t really like men right now but also I only see myself marrying a man? But I don’t know if that’s just internalized homophobia or what.

Please help and tell me if that’s normal or what cause idk.

Also I’m a girl just to make that clear

Hypothetically if I wanted to try stuff without being caught by friends and locals, how would yall go about trying stuff without being caught or noticed

Ok without going into too much detail…

So I’ve doubted my sexuality for a long time or at least rebelled against it, because I’ve always liked women- (26 M). But I have a gay friend who has fancied me for a long time and by pure chance I ran into him and his friends at a pub. It was a great night drinking and talking, then I noticed he was coming onto me whenever there was a chance no one would see. He’d put his hand on my thigh or glance at me. To be honest I don’t really fancy him, but every time he touched me I felt electric. He has mentioned many times that he is in an open relationship and I am single, he even mentioned it at the table.

When we had a moment alone he told me how handsome I was and that we could have a moment together if I dropped him home… So when it was finally time to go home, he cleverly asked for a lift to the station and as soon as he was in my car he was like “soooooo” and that’s when I got so nervous! I was like “ummm where am I driving?” We stopped off at a quiet place and he was really chill thankfully. I felt like an absolute virgin (I guess i was to this) despite having sex with girls. He didn’t put any pressure on me, he just made it clear that he wanted me, and I kind of needed him to make the first move. He stroked my hair first and put his hand on my lap, which felt amazing.

Then I’m not sure how much detail I can go into, but we started kissing and the rest unfolded as you can imagine in my car. Kissing him was a little awkward and to be honest I wish he was more handsome. At times I felt like I should have been touching a woman, like when I reached for his breast and there was nothing there 😂. But the experience really made me laugh and made me happy. I don’t know why I couldn’t stop laughing. It felt like a relief. He actually topped me as well… which was mad, but I wanted it 😬. I moaned and my breathing was fast, it felt great.

I realised even in the moment, that I wanted the intimacy of a relationship. This was fine because this was just a hook up, it was the perfect opportunity. Feeling his touch, even holding his hand was amazing. It wasn’t romantic and I really do want to find that romanticism, probably with a girl, which I told him. But it was nice to be wanted, because I’ve been alone for a long time. It was nice to hold someone close.

Afterwards I said to him, “so you reckon I’m not completely straight?” Which was crazy and definitely confirmed my bisexuality. I did ask him to keep it a secret between us because I’m just not sure if I’m comfortable with everyone knowing in our friend group, but I’m really glad that it happened and there is even a chance we will meet again. As I said I am waiting for the right girl to have a relationship with, I would just rather a girlfriend i think. But he did say not to completely close myself off to potentially something wonderful one day with a guy. Anyway I thought I would share this experience. This was my first time with a guy and it was safe, really funny and very pleasurable ☺️

I'm a 22 yo gay guy.

I feel like a guy, but I suffered from genital dysphoria, so about a year ago I had PPT vaginoplasty (which, I promise you, turned out really well after spending almost €30k). Let's just say it closed off possibilities with some guys, but opened them up with others. Anyway, I did it for myself, and now I feel good in my body.

So anyway, about two weeks ago I went out with a bisexual guy who I'll call Kevin.

Kevin, like a lot of guys, was, let's say, curious about sleeping with me, but even so, from the very first moment he was such a sweetheart. You know, one of those people you look at and think they wouldn't hurt a fly.

He was a bit awkward but super cute, and after a few minutes I already had butterflies in my stomach. I won't bother explaining what falling for someone feels like, since everyone already knows.

Anyway, after dinner he said he'd forgotten his medication at home and asked me to walk him back. I walked him home, and, without getting into details, we slept together. Kevin didn't last very long, but I have to say he was really good 😂

Afterward he said it had been amazing, I smiled at him, and then he added, "Wait, let me get the door for you, the handle's a bit stiff." HONESTLY, IT FELT LIKE A PRETTY BLATANT EXCUSE TO SEND ME HOME.

I don't know if he said it with that intention, or if he's just so sweet and clueless that he wanted to help me without even thinking I might have wanted to stay over.

Today he texted me, "Want to come over tonight? 😘" I said, "Sure, what time?" and he replied, "Whenever you want, after 9pm, I'll be home waiting for you 😘"

On one hand it was really sweet of him to use those emojis, but on the other, I don't get why we're not having dinner together first???

What do you guys think his intentions are? I mean, I fall for people easily, but with him I really, truly have so many butterflies, and I don't know what to think.

Drop your best prose down below

No one can stop you

we’re both in our 20s. every girl and gay friends that we know ship the two of us saying that they have never seen two people closer together. we don’t deny it and just laugh through the rumors. I don’t thinn he’s ready to come out or fully understands his feelings. I think I’ve fallen for him.

He’s really smart, nerdy, and if I ever need help he always tries finding a solution. we sleep together in the same bed every night and I big spoon him to sleep. which I think goes beyond what fully straight guys do. We start making cute voices / noises at each other. I’m a powerlifter and even when I started bulking and felt insecure about my belly that was forming he said it was his favorite part and loves the way it felt on him back when he cuddled. I also let my excited little guy poke him in the back which only made him scoot back to me even more. he lets me touch his cheeks and even encourages it through the day. If I ever need to stop cuddling or turn he always finds a way to have a portion of our bodies touching when we sleep.

Sometimes I think as a bi sexual man it is harder to attract women because if you have a really good vibe with women and you can talk about the same stuff they just often assume that you’re just only gay🤷‍♂️What are your thoughts on this?

I've been seeing so many posts here sharing experiences of biphobia against men in particular, and I just wanted to show some positivity and love for them by sharing my story.

Long, long before I ever figured out I was bi, I LOVED bi guys. The thought of being able to share thoughts about boys... to a BOY?! I would fantasize about one day meeting a bi guy who might even take me out on a date. Of course, I was not popular enough to have any boy fawn over me in high school back in a time when we called pretty boys 'metrosexual' ^{(yes, I'm old)} - much less one brave enough to be out. But hey, a girl could dream.

By some miraculous serendipity, university decided that should change with one of my first flatmates. By some further miracle, both of us managed to stumble through enough clumsy flirting for me to ask him out, and he even agreed!

I remember mentioning to my sister in our first year that he was bisexual and before I could add, "isn't it crazy he gets flak for that?" she threw me off when she shook her head and said, "Mm-mm. I couldn't do that. What if he cheated?" Well, jokes on her, because we're still together 15 years later!

Ironically, the whole cheating thing was pretty irrelevant, because we're thriving as a poly couple. So the next boy I dated, well, he was bi! The boy after that came out as bi after a while. And the boy after? Well, he was straight. Until 4 years ago, when he realized he might be bi. (That one and I have been going strong for 9 years!)

I don't purposefully seek them out, I swear! I just happen to fall for bi boys. Even the ones who didn't know, there's just something about them, a whole package of things I love. They're more open-minded, they dress nicer, they're better at treating women as people, they tend to open up more, and best of all they can be just as goblin-like as me! And also, they like me. I wear my hair short, apparently I'm both bubbly and intimidating, and my appearance belies the fact that I'm a domme... a lot of men don't like the last two points.

I love all the things that make bi guys who they are. Not every bi guy are those things, of course. And not every bisexual is non-monogamous. But I am, and I love that about me because I love seeing other people love my partners the same way I do. I want everyone to experience the privilege of dating bisexual men.

Don't like straight men? Congrats, date a bisexual man! It's literally that easy.

Bi men are the BEST. Don't ever let small-minded dates make you think otherwise.