My MIL is careless when it comes to most aspects of baby/child safety, many examples come to mind, like when she tried to feed my then six month old spicy noodles, freely handing her choking hazards, attempting to put her on her stomach for sleep with a bunch of blankets. All those things are bad enough, but my main concern that I just cannot understand with her is car seat safety.

TW: infant death

MIL’s first child died in a car accident at two months old, he had been sitting on MIL’s lap in the passenger seat. Granted, it was the mid 80s, where I’m sure that wasn’t all too uncommon. I can only imagine how utterly heart breaking and traumatising it must have been for her, which is why I cannot understand how she continues to be completely reckless when it comes to the importance of car seats for children. She has proudly boasted several times that she never had her kids in car seats when they were young and that she’d even breastfeed my husband as a baby while driving. He was born in 2000 so there’s not really the excuse of ignorance at that point, car seats were very well established and required by law then.

I have told her many times that I do not agree with this and when it comes to my child (19 months old) she needs to be in a rear facing car seat, fully buckled, every time she is in a moving car. MIL will try fight me on the fact that it needs to be rear-facing, saying that it “doesn’t make a difference”, and the few times we have been in the car with her she actively encourages me to take my daughter out of her seat every time she’s crying or wants out and calls me mean for refusing to do it.

Needless to say, she is not allowed unsupervised time with our daughter, and especially not allowed to drive her anywhere. She pouts about it, but how could I ever trust her? I just couldn’t, simple as that. She has openly told me that she will defy my wishes and rules if I’m not around, so I know 100% that she wouldn’t listen to a thing I’d ask of her.

It’s really sad that she refuses to change her ways, even after what happened with her baby, but I could never forgive myself if something happened to my child under her care.

I’ve been told I’m an anxious parent. That I impose my anxiety on my husband with his parenting. We have a 19 month old & 12 day old. He placed baby on top of pillow, wrapped in a fluffy blanket inside bassinet. Because I’ve been told I’m anxious, not allowing him to parent, I asked “is it ok if in 10 mins we take the pillow out?” I already have anxiety about the thick fluffy blanket but the pillow is a complete no go for me for safety reasons. This is the first time he put pillow in bassinet so it’s not the norm. Anyways, He did not give me an answer and is stonewalling me. How would you go about it without causing an argument?

I’m not perfect bc last night I slept with baby on my chest on the couch out of bare exhaustion. So, that’s a safety hazard too. How would you go about it without causing an argument?

I hate hearing “oh well wait till they start crawling, walking, talking, etc” when I say I’m excited about something my baby is doing. I was talking to my husbands grandma about how happy I was about his cooing sounds and she was like “you say that now but wait till he starts talking” and the smile just dropped off my face because why did you have to turn this negative. Why do people feel the need to do this. I’m genuinely excited for him to do all those things and be able to watch him grow. I’m even excited for the emotional puberty stage. If you didn’t like being a parent just say that but there’s no need to try to bring an excited parent down. I know it’s hard but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to it. My job for 5 years before I had my kiddo was in home care for kids with developmental disabilities so I definitely know what I’m getting myself into by having my own kid. And the people saying this to me know that so I don’t know why they say it like I have no idea what’s ahead. Anybody else deal with this?

Hello! We have a booked a 3 night cruise in February on Oasis of the seas to travel with our 9 month old son. Only problem is I just called to reserve a crib for the room and they told me because of the room layout the crib is not an option (it never said anything in FAQ or when booking or I would’ve selected another room!) now we could upgrade but we booked with family and have adjoining rooms right now and if we upgrade rooms we won’t be adjoining or potentially even close to them which just isn’t what we wanted while travelling with an infant. We could bring our own pack and play from home but that a lot to fly with and I assume they wouldn’t allow it since they won’t provide one for that stateroom anyways?

Does anyone have recommendations for how to work around a safe sleep situation with our 9mo old? We would prefer not to cosleep and our cabin will have a king bed and pullout sofabed. Any and all recommendations on what to do are appreciated!! I’m

I’m pretty sure I contracted it. I don’t typically eat salads but I guess I was craving some Caesar salad last week and the week before. I bought multiple of the Caesar salad kits from Aldi and had a Caesar salad with my dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Turns out those salad kits are Taylor Farms packaged. My partner is a trucker and we have an almost 11 month old who is a typical 11 month old, needy lol. Not saying that in a bad way, she’s a baby. I started having diarrhea all day yesterday after noticing I dropped 3 pounds overnight on the scale. I had been extra tired the day before but didn’t think anything of it and I went to work yesterday. I only work part time so I figured I would be fine through that, and I was. After fighting my daughter to go to bed last night because I was so painfully tired, we both slept like crap. It has been a pretty rough day so far. Woke up, not having as much diarrhea, but plenty of exhaustion and muscle cramps. Feels like early postpartum exhaustion. I’m hoping I can get rid of it on my own quickly, as I am a healthy adult. Anyways, my partner is gone most of the week. Everyone I know works during the week or are too old to help me much. How are we taking care of babies by ourselves sick???

All too often I find myself surrounded by negative news that feeds into my own anxieties. I would love for this thread to be a place where people can share their good outcomes. Was there a part that you expected to go differently in your head? Something easier or harder than you had imagined it to be?
Did you have a partner or health care provider offer something you didn’t know you needed until that moment?

After confusing/painful/out of plan /powerful unmedicated third birth experience i want for the first time to gift myself a push present.

What's do u recommend?

My baby is 4 months old. We live in a big city in the south of France, and I just learned to drive, so I don’t feel confident enough yet to drive alone with her. But there is a lot of trains, buses and the subway.

I grew up cooped up at home, and that’s not what I want for her. I want us to be able to get out and about, but I still don’t feel comfortable taking the subway with her or going far away on my own because, well, she’s pretty restless, and I come home exhausted (I also had a lot of anxiety during the first few months, which didn’t help). Women who go out alone with their babies, how do you manage? Isn’t it incredibly exhausting? Where do you go? What do you enjoy most? What are your tips? I need some inspiration. Thanks !

I’m really struggling at the moment and could do with some advice from parents who have been through this.
My baby is 7 months old and I feel like I’m constantly behind. Between feeding, naps, entertaining her, washing bottles, trying to keep the house somewhat tidy, and just meeting her needs, I feel like I achieve nothing all day.
She wants a lot of attention, and as soon as I put her down to do something, she’s often upset. By the end of the day I’m exhausted, the house is a mess, and I feel guilty because I still haven’t done everything I needed to.
I know babies come first, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m failing at everything else. How do you manage to cook, clean, shower, or even have five minutes to yourself with a baby this age?
Does it get easier? What routines, hacks, or mindset shifts helped you? I’d really appreciate any advice because I’m feeling overwhelmed.

I’m a FTM to a 4 month old and am scheduled to go back to work in the next few weeks. We’ve started taking our LO to daycare twice a week to ease her into it (mostly for me…yay PPA) and I honestly just don’t love it. I hate being away from her and by the time I pick her up, we have maybe a full 60 minutes before her bedtime routine starts.

I’m highly contemplating not going back to work. My husband and I have looked at the numbers and we can definitely make it work on just his salary alone. We’d of course have to tighten our belts and wouldn’t save as much per month but I think it’d be worth it.

The one thing I keep coming back to is the job market and how terrible it is right now. I just wonder what reentering the workforce in 3-5 years would look like for me. I’d also be giving up amazing benefits like great health insurance, 401k, life insurance, HSA, etc.

If you can share your experience, I would greatly appreciate it. I feel very torn so any and all insight is welcome.

For months I have been reading subreddits on how my baby will eventually outgrow colic. We tried burping, exercises, gripe, gas drops, changing milk to lactose free ect. I would count the days and months. She would scream for hours at night at the same time before sleeping. Nothing can comfort her. There were nights she would fall asleep early and I though she wouldn’t cry but she would wake up and just start screaming and crying. Sometimes I would cry with her because it was so hard. I am a SAHM, my husband helps but my baby was very much attached to me. At the third month mark I thought it would be over and then came the fourth month and still the same. A little before the fifth month,I noticed she started releasing gas on her own and I have stopped giving the gas drops. At night the screaming and crying stopped and she just would latch til she falls asleep. My baby is now 8months. People would always comment everywhere what a happy baby she is and she would smile to everyone.

Posting this for parents who are going through this. It was really hard. I felt like it really tested our marriage. It had given me so much anxiety. I wanted so much to enjoy the newborn phase but it was so challenging.

These days its better. She is standing up and crawling. It comes with its own challenges but wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I'm currently crying while my husband tries to put our 12 week old baby to sleep after I tried and couldn't take his crying anymore.

I feel like I don't understand him at all I don't get when he is tired, when I should be getting him ready to sleep, when he's overtired, etc.

I was trying to follow his wake windows, but when it got closer to 1.5h awake and I tried to put him to sleep he cried a lot. So I thought oh that's too much, I waited too long. But now, if I try to get him ready around an hour after he wakes up, the same thing happens.

This specific case, he had been awake for an hour and ten minutes, his eyebrows were red and he was getting fussy. I thought this must be the time. He has become very difficult to put to sleep anywhere other than the carrier. I strap him in and he starts screaming his head off. I feel like if I shush or speak to him, it makes him cry worse. At this point, he is red and sweating from the crying but will not calm down, no matter if I am trying to hold him, speak to him, walk with him. It's been about 15-20 mins by now. I managed to calm him temporarily while sitting on a yoga ball, but then he started screaming his head off again and I just couldn't anymore. I'd been trying to hold it together and not cry, but at that point I just couldn't anymore. I unstrapped him, placed him in his bassinet and walked away crying my eyes out.

My husband took over and managed now to put him to sleep within 10 minutes and minimal crying this time.

I just feel like a failure, like I can't do anything right. He is breastfed, I'm always home with him and I can't even calm him down and put him to sleep. I have no family close, and I missed out when my friends and family had children as I've lived abroad for the past 10 years, so I have zero experience with babies.

My husband was off today, but he will be at work tomorrow and Friday, and I'm already starting to dread having to be home alone. I was going out every day with the baby, trying to meet people, but now I feel anxious about leaving the house in case a) he starts screaming before falling asleep or b) start screaming after waking up, which he also does.

I'm at my wits end, please give me some advice, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I love my baby, I just wish I understood him better.

I posted asking about these diapers maybe a week or so ago, wondering if they were worth a try because I couldn’t find much online about the improved softer version. There were a few people saying they also would like to know so I am just posting this in case others are curious about them.

My kid is in size 5, so I can’t speak for the newborn poos but I like them and would buy again. They probably aren’t the most luxurious, but they seem to be comfy enough, and even with sensitive skin we have had no issues with rashes. As for absorbency, I was worried that they wouldn’t hold much and at first I didn’t plan to use them overnight. They did well enough during the day that I decided to just try them overnight as well, and have had no issues there either! Overall I would say if you’re looking for an affordable diaper, they are a good option! Of course every baby is different and ymmv but for us they work well :)

I’m a SAHM and by the time my husband should be getting off work I am so exhausted and ready to tap out. Unfortunately with his work I sometimes get the I’m going to be late text and the even worse I won’t be home till after bedtime text. For those of you that do some or many solo evenings what do you do to get through it?

Feeling at my wits end currently and need advice. My baby is only 3 weeks old so obviously still super new. He has not slept a wink in his bassinet or crib or really anywhere you can consider a safe sleep space since he was born. After 3+ days straight of being awake, I resorted to basically a version of chest sleeping. I don’t need any lectures on how it’s unsafe or anything, I know it’s not the safest option but I was quite literally hallucinating from sleep deprivation and this has been the only way I can get some disjointed sleep so please reserve your judgment. I did pretty persistently try a floor cosleeping “safe sleep 7” setup but baby will not sleep unless he is in my arms. My husband helps out where he can and will entertain baby for 2 hours at a time when he’s not working so I can get a nap in. and then I usually get a few broken hours of sleep overnight. I am currently exclusively breastfeeding and baby will NOT fall asleep unless nursing.

As for the bassinet setup, we have a Snoo. I have tried putting him in it with its soothing settings as well as just using it like a normal “boring” bassinet. We have tried all the major swaddles. Heating the bassinet up before putting him in it. Putting him in in deep sleep. Putting him in drowsy but awake. Rolling him to his side first. Making his sheets smell like me. White noise. Pitch black room. Shush/swaddle/sway whatever. You name it, I’ve tried it. I went through a few days of super persistently trying to acclimate him with no luck.

I’m tired of “sleeping” (if you can call it that) on the couch. My ass hurts from sitting there night after night. I miss being in bed with my husband. I hate worrying that I will suffocate my baby at night due to our current setup but not having any other options. I’m so tired that I can’t even begin to think of how to work on the bassinet transition. Everyone says it will get better around 12 weeks but frankly I can’t imagine holding on for that long. I don’t really have anyone around who can help out. Please give me all your tips/tricks/routines to try to get this baby to sleep on a safe surface!!!! Step by step even is great because I’m at a loss.

I’m looking into birth control due to not wanting another baby, however I have never had any sort of birth control and not sure which direction to go. It seems like all options are 99% effective, some have more severe side effects than others. I’m thinking about an iud. My main goals are preferably no period, no more babies, minor to no side effects, and something that doesn’t require me to remember it due to me not being able to even remember my medication. For people who have experience with birth control, what worked best for you? What side effects did you have? How painful was it? I would prefer a surgical option but due to my age I would be surprised if they’d be willing to. The only thing holding me back from an IUD is being nervous it will be extremely painful. I plan to discuss everything with my doctor but I’m also wanting personal experiences before deciding what I want to do.

Our baby has us completely exhausted. She's 8 months old and she's an absolute whirlwind. A tiny tornado. She literally doesn't stay still for a second. We don't get a break during the day, and we don't get a break at night either. It's honestly amazing how much energy such a tiny human can have.

The other day she spent an hour in a baby jacuzzi doing exercises, even against the resistance from the bubbles. You'd think she'd be completely worn out afterwards... but nope. She still had enough energy for another couple of hours of playing at home, and then she slept terribly that night.

She's never been a good sleeper. Since she was born, we've probably had only 4 or 5 nights with just one wake-up. Most nights it's 3–4 wake-ups, and for the last few days it's been 6–7. Who knows... maybe teething, maybe a regression. With babies it always feels like there's something.

The exhaustion isn't just because we haven't had a decent night's sleep in months. During the day she needs constant attention. If you leave her sight for even a few seconds, she cries like the world's ending. You can't even go to the bathroom without triggering a full-blown meltdown.

She spends a lot of time on the floor so she can move around and develop her motor skills, since she's already army crawling everywhere. We give her toys (she has plenty), but she'll play with one for a minute, then start complaining. We hand her another one... same thing. Before long the floor is covered in toys, and nothing seems to make her happy. We honestly don't know what she wants. She seems to need constant stimulation and doesn't really know how to entertain herself or just sit quietly looking at an object, her hands, or anything else for a while.

Thankfully, we get to enjoy her amazing 30–40 minute naps... which is just enough time to eat something, shower, and get ready for the next round.

She honestly seems like a very demanding baby. And we don't really have anyone who can help, even though my parents would love to. She cries inconsolably if she's left alone with them.

It's really frustrating and incredibly exhausting.

That said, we absolutely adore her. She's the cutest little thing, and when she smiles our hearts melt. I just hope she'll grow into a slightly calmer, easier-going personality... although so far there aren't many signs of that.

Any other parents here with babies like this? How did you survive?

My 4-year-old is currently talking to my old dog about how much he loves her. She's his best friend and he is always telling me about the conversations they have. He's literally confessed to things that the dog has obviously done. However, she's slowing down. She's already 3 years past the average lifespan for her breed.

My mother-in-law's dog passed away earlier this year. My kid was semi-close to her but understood the death and we've had good conversations about it. We got the Fred Rogers book about a pet dying when that happened.

What are the things I can do before she passes away? Any good keepsakes to prepare now?

I know it's gonna be awful. He doesn't realize that she could die soon (or that she will ever die). Would it be better to prepare him for it ahead of time or is that gonna make it more stressful?

Hi all! I remembered sharing my birth story with my first baby so I want to do it again !
I was 38w&2 days yesterday and I had my second baby.
Technically I was in early labor since Saturday morning , I had lost part of my mucus plug and having irregular contraction. I ended up needing to go to the hospital Sunday morning for some elevated blood pressure reading and home, due to being dehydrated 🫣 but I was checked and i was already at 3cm. I thought maybe they’d keep me but my contractions fizzed out and I was sent home. I had contractions all of Monday and Tuesday, i was in so much pain! The timing of them was so off so I couldn’t go back to the hospital and I didn’t have another OB appt until later this week. Finally I had enough at 3pm yesterday I called L&D and asked if I could be seen even with irregular contraction because I was in so much pain. They thankfully said yes and funnily enough on the way to the hospital I felt a POP and my water fully broke!
At this point I was terrified I wouldn’t make it in time for an epidural, but I was! I got to the hospital at 4pm at 6cm almost 7cm. I asked for an epidural which they did within an hour and I was relaxinnngggg. Gosh I love epidurals lol
Baby was a little high up so they moved me to my right side and she came down FAST. My Dr wanted me to do practice pushes but said lol jk her head is literally crowning.
And at 9:30pm I pushed her out in two pushes 😎 still so proud of my self!!

I wish luck and safe deliveries to all mamas 💕

When does it get one molecule easier? Right now they are 3 years + 1 month and 17 months and I need to know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. 1 more year? 10 more years? I’m a SAHM, we currently can’t afford meaningful childcare and don’t have any family in the area so it’s all us all the time and we’re so tired 😵‍💫

Tw: mental health; depression

I'm 5.5 months postpartum with the sweetest baby girl. I also have a 21 month old. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD in college (4 years ago), but never actually got treatment.

I was doing okay and now I'm not. My daughter's pediatrician has me fill out that ppd screening every appointment. At her 2 month, I scored high enough that in the appointment notes it was flagged and said someone would call me or discuss treatment or something. No mention during the appointment, no call or anything. I only know because I was looking through my daughter's notes. At her 4 month appointment, I had been doing really well. Little to no depressive like symptoms, and even my pp anxiety was doing better. Now I'm 5.5 months pp and at the beach for a vacation and it feels like too much.

Prior to the vacation, I thought it just wasn't getting enough sleep since my daughter still wakes every 2 hours at night to eat and she's EBF so I'm the only one that can feed her. Lately at home though, I just constantly have these dark thoughts of wishing I could go back to before I had kids. Back when I could actually do what I wanted when I want. I love my kids, so I don't want to wish them away. My baby is teething and upset, my toddler is teething and going through the terrible twos, and half the time by the time my husband gets home I've already cried and/or yelled at least once. I'm just so overwhelmed. My house is never quiet. The white noise/thunderstorm sounds my baby needs to sleep feel like buzzing in my head. Someone always needs me. I have no patience, I'm constantly irritated, anxious, angry, or just sad for no reason. I use mild cuss words a lot now when I never used to. I've yelled at my toddler multiple times and though I apologize, I feel like such a bad parent.

It feels like my cup is empty, but I don't know how to refill it. Napping doesn't help. I don't even know what my hobbies are anymore because they either require two hands and I'm too tired by the time the kids go to bed or after they do, I just want to talk to my husband before bed. I've tried getting some me time while at this beach vacation by doing the annual puzzle or studying japanese, but I feel awful because I get so hyper focused on it that I physically can't make myself stop. I then get irritated when my kids get up from nap and need me or try in vain to do it while they're awake. I feel like I can't hang out with any of my husband family on the trip because the kids constantly need me and somehow their naps keep conciding with a time when everyone is busy. I can't help cook because I'm chasing the toddler and or feeding the baby. I just feel like a fly on the wall, forced to watch from the outside but unable to join in. Every couple hours I have to retreat to our bedroom to feed the baby. I try feeding her in the common area with a cover, but she hates it and I don't want others to have to hear her cry.

The weird thing is though, I'll feel really low, have been crying, etc, but then something happens that distracts me long enough that it doesn't feel worthwhile to tell anyone because I'm not crying anymore. It's like I can get distracted for a few minutes or hyperfocus on something and feel a small high and think I'm okay, but within a few hours come crashing down again and I'm so confused. Idk, just needed to vent before my head explodes.

Tldr; feeling low but occasionally high and super overwhelmed with motherhood

My baby is almost 11 months old. Our plan is to gradually drop daytime feeds sometime between 12 and 14 months, keep a bedtime/night feed for a while, and then slowly wean that when we’re both ready.

Tonight, I was rocking him to sleep and he wanted to nurse, so I did. I was feeling a little touched out. For context, I’m a nurse caring for a medically complex toddler during the day, and I haven’t been feeling well today, so I wasn’t really up for a long nursing session.

Then he fell asleep in my arms, and it suddenly hit me that this won’t last forever. Rationally, I know 14, 15, or even 16 months is still a long way off. But in that moment, all I could think about was that one day there will be a last nursing session, a last time he falls asleep in my arms like this, and I just completely lost it. I ended up sobbing into my little guy’s head while he slept.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I’m 9 months post partum now and am still struggling with no appetite. If I wouldn’t have to eat and nurish my body because I still breastfeed I’d probably forget eat until dinner. I lost nearly 60 pounds so far and am
below my pre pregnancy weight. All my blood tests etc are good and everything else is also fine. I just have really bad health anxiety currently. And am wondering if it’s the hormones.
Everyone in my life is telling me to be excited but I just want to feel good.

I’ve heard of putting a new one under while changing, a wet wipe on their tummy to let them pee before changing, etc. I’ve also seek rocket poops and blowouts😂, what are your best hacks for such situations? I know you should size up if you get a blowout and all, but please drop them below!

Let me start by saying, she is OBSESSED with her baby sister (6 weeks). She is so kind and sweet and doesn't take her emotions out on her. But she has also become obsessed with....me. Which is of course...what I expected...but I'm now wondering if I'm somehow making the behavior worse by being SO available all of the time within minutes to her out of guilt.

Side note: We are doing everything "right". She gets SO much 1:1 play & cuddles with me. We don't blame the baby for being busy. We tell the baby "hold on, I'll get to you in a minute because your sister needs me right now!". We give her so much praise. We let her help out. Etc.

My question is....at what point do we stop gentle parenting so much and feeling bad for her bc she's having big feelings about the life change, and start setting real boundaries again / enforce SOME kind of consequences for not listening?

For instance, last night...she woke up at 1:30am screaming for me. Pushing her dad away and screaming and being mean when he tried to console her. She didn't have a bad dream...just is stuck on this cycle of mama mania, as we call it. He gave up and she came into the baby's room (where I'm sleeping as I'm EBF) crying. I was feeding baby and couldn't hold her. I also do NOT want to make this a habit so I didn't want to give in to her demands. Was also EXHAUSTED bc it was middle of night. I nicely & firmly said "you need to go lay down with dada. mama will be in there soon". Over and over. Husband and I tried and tried to console but all she wanted was me + my bed. I lost my temper because honestly, the volume of yelling she does is unreal and the overstimulation is very real. I ended up crying and feeling so guilty and just rocking her in bed while he took the baby. Then, she went back to the other bed with dada. But it was an hour long ordeal. I don't have an hour of sleep to spare! I don't know where the line is though. You don't get to scream and throw things and demand things. You have to listen to mama and dada. But yet, she can't self regulate and I know that. I'm just tired and doubting myself and looking for solidarity or someone to tell me when this will pass lol.