I'm due with our first in December and due to the nature of my partners industry (live theater) we are having to make some of our decisions now to work around show schedules.

I have 16-18wks of leave through the state (depending on vaginal vs C-section), but won't be going back to work after, so will just be using it all at once.

My partner has at least 12wks through the state, so that's what we're counting on until we have a more final idea of their work leave later in the year. They are union and have tons of protections, so their job would only have more leave, not less.

Our current sort of plan is for them to take at least 1 month right off the bat, with the potential for 2 if it's feeling dicey. However, we'd really love to save the last 4 weeks for the summer when baby is ~6mo old and a) they usually have some dead time anyway, and b) we could drive up to see family and stay for a couple weeks.

I'm a nanny of 12 years and have worked with very new babies, so I know what the newborn care bit is like, but not the postpartum part.

Based on your experiences, will I first off, want the 3 months of help right off the bat? And secondly, is it way too overzealous to believe we could manage a 7hr road trip with a 7mo old baby? We can stop overnight to split it into two ~4 hour days.

My baby is 11 months and had a skin prick for egg done.

Allergy confirmed.

Blood drawn - no idea why! Anyway it’s gone to the lab!

Does egg allergy ever resolve? Any personal experiences by when it resolved?

The histamine prick resolved an hour earlier than the egg prick. :/

My baby had very dark, nearly black eyes when he was born. Now at 10 weeks, they're a medium blue. I doubt his eyes will stay blue, as both me and his dad have dark brown eyes. Did anyone have their baby's eyes do this and they ended up brown?

My husband is the youngest of three siblings—a surprise baby born when his mother was 45 and his father was 50. We’ve been married for nearly four years and recently had our first child. This is the first grandchild for both of our families.

We live five minutes from my parents, whom we are very close with; my mother watches the baby while I work. We attend church with my parents weekly as well as have supper with them throughout the week. My in-laws, on the other hand, live across the country. Before the baby was born, we typically saw them about once every six months. Since the birth, they have visited monthly, staying with other local family members.

My mother-in-law (MIL) has always been kind to me, though not necessarily warm. She never made much effort to build a relationship with me outside of being her son’s wife. In fact, throughout our four years of marriage, I was never invited to her home state or introduced to her extended family—until I was heavily pregnant with their first grandchild. During my third trimester, we flew out for a baby shower MIL organized with her side of the family. My doctor cleared me to fly, but it was -25°F and miserable. While everyone was polite, I couldn't shake the feeling that I hadn't truly been accepted into the family until I became pregnant.

Our baby was born healthy, but due to minor complications, he spent his first few days in the NICU. He was discharged on a Sunday, and MIL flew in from across the country to visit by Tuesday. Although it felt overbearing of me, I simply asked that she shower and change clothes after traveling before visiting us; she obliged. Two days later, my father-in-law (FIL) and sister-in-law (SIL) arrived as well, and I made the same request, which they also honored.

That visit quickly became tense. My husband put immense pressure on me to let his parents act as "grandparents." As a new, hormonal postpartum mom healing from a delivery tear and struggling to navigate breastfeeding with a house full of near-strangers, I felt overwhelmed and uncomfortable. Rather than supporting me, my husband was playing Mario Kart with his sister, leaving me to act as a host—brewing coffee and catering to my father-in-law. I still hold a lot of resentment toward my husband for how that visit played out. After the fact, I was informed by my husband that I’d come off as “unwelcoming” to his family and he asked me to try harder next time.

By MIL’s third visit, things seemed to improve. It was just her this time, and we spent a full day together with the baby. She opened up to me, sharing that her own parents were uninvolved with her children and that her in-laws had passed away before her kids were born. I realized she had never experienced having grandparents around, let alone being a grandparent or a mother-in-law herself. It was a genuine heart-to-heart, and when she left that evening, I felt like we were finally on the same page.

The following morning, I was supposed to work. After being up all night with the baby, I was completely exhausted and told my husband at 6:00 AM that I couldn't go in. He was understanding. However, while I was getting our day started, he got on the phone with MIL—who began sobbing because I was staying home, ruining her plans to have a day alone with her son and grandson.

Immediately, my husband’s demeanor toward me turned cold and standoffish. He asked if I had plans to leave the house. I explained I was exhausted, planned to nap, and promised to stay out of their way. Over the phone, he offered to take MIL and the baby to the zoo. I immediately stepped in and said, "No, you will not." The zoo was a milestone experience I had been eagerly waiting to share together as a family alongside our close friends—not to mention how unfair it felt to exclude my parents, who help raise our baby daily, in favor of an out-of-town guest.
My husband hung up, claiming it was just the first idea that popped into his head. I went upstairs to sleep after asking him to wake me when the baby was hungry so I could nurse. Around 12:30 PM, he woke me up saying the baby refused his bottle and was still hungry. When I walked downstairs, the baby was in MIL’s lap; as soon as he saw me, his face lit up. I took him, he calmed down immediately, and he began nursing.

MIL immediately looked dejected. She got up, put on her shoes, and announced she was going for a walk. My husband joined her with the dog. When they returned, I handed the baby back to MIL and went upstairs to take a bath and clean for three hours—trying to give her the space she wanted, despite how hard it was to be separated from my baby.

At dinner, my husband invited MIL to ride in my car without asking me first. Exhausted and stressed, I ordered a glass of wine at the restaurant just to cope. Afterward, MIL insisted on taking pictures of the three of us; she took a dozen photos, but when I asked her to send them to me, she only sent a single one.

The next afternoon, my father-in-law called my husband to "educate" him on the risks of postpartum depression and anxiety, reporting that MIL was deeply upset by how "unwelcoming" I had been.

My husband then asked me if scheduling more frequent visits would help the situation. I told him absolutely not. He of course was offended by how fast I retorted that.

I want my son to have a relationship with his paternal grandparents, but at what point does it cost me my own mental health? Or possibly my marriage?

Any recs for conditioner or leave in conditioner for 1yr old ? Idk if she has baby curls or if her hair will be curly when washed if I brush it out & air dry it curls. But her hair is feeling a little dry & once our pool warmed up we’ve been in the pool a lot.

My son was born with a lot of hair that grew into beautiful curls! Since it's summer time I decided to cut it because he was getting a little sweaty under all his hair. We told the stylist just a trim and she gave him a full on haircut! The stylist cut off all his curls and he doesn't look like a baby anymore. I feel like I took away his babyhood after cutting his hair. I know all of this sounds silly because it's "just hair" but does anyone with this experience know if infant hair grows back fast?

That's basically it. Social media is SO insane these days and I have half a dozen people I know actively trying to become "momfluencers". No shade to their choices, I'm just tired of comparing myself to others. So this is just a reminder that if you're feeling down on yourself about ANYTHING re your own child, give yourself permission to mute the accounts that trigger that nasty inner voice. You're a good mom. You're doing a good job. Your baby is not broken just because you don't tote them around to every event/pool party/fun summer thing. Comparison is the thief of joy mamas. That's all :)

My baby started crawling on her hands and knees yesterday, and she will be 12 months old in a week. I was FaceTiming our friend and my daughter decided she wanted something on the other side of the room so she got on her hands and knees and crawled over. It was awesome, and it reminded me how impatient I was before this.

3 months ago I was panicking, putting toys in front of her, researching how to get a baby to crawl, googling the age when most babies do it, holding her abdomen up while she yells at me because she just doesn’t wanna do it. I felt so sad. Typical FTM.

I kept seeing people whose babies crawled when they were 6, 7, 8 months old and I just thought she was never gonna do it. The pediatrician said it was fine, but I had seen videos and articles about the benefits of hands and knees crawling despite it not being a milestone, and I just really wanted her to.
Then she started army crawling at 10 months and I kind of accepted that as what she would do until she learned how to walk and I was okay with it. I started to forget about it and (get this) let her develop at her own pace! And then she just randomly did it!

I wanted to share this to remind all the first time moms (or second or third or whatever) that indeed, babies do develop at their own pace and there’s no real tricks you can do to make it happen faster and honestly, you don’t have to! I’m happy that I wasn’t rushing her these last couple of months because I was gonna make myself and her miserable.

My son (7 months) is very dependant on the breast for regulating himself and comfort. He is partially formula fed for now, but I need to stop breastfeeding entirely so I can start up medication again. However, my son is not giving up. I just physically cannot let him scream and cry until he is exhausted and falls asleep. It is SO distressing for the both of us. Sometimes I sit there and cry too. Even if he has a full bottle of formula he will want to nurse to sleep out of comfort. He refuses to take a dummy. He refuses to be rocked to sleep or tapped to sleep and frequently wakes up in the night searching for the boob (we co-sleep). He will cry until he hold his breath. He kicks and punches and slaps. I’m at a loss of what to do.

My baby just came back from his 1 year dentist appointment and they confirmed what I had feared... his upper front teeth aren't "wonky", he has tooth damage

One year old and he has damaged teeth. Not like rot or black cavities but they said the enamel had been damaged. They believe it's from night feeding or keeping my nipple in his mouth while napping.

His upper front teeth are bad enough that he had to get a silver coating thing to stop the damage... it will discolor his teeth. Now he's stuck with ugly, spotty baby teeth until they come out. 😞

I've tried to get him to use pacifiers and he's not interested, but we kinda have no choice now. I'll work on night weaning in the meantime.

The dentist said "You can mo longer be his pacifier!"

So does anyone know of any tried and true pacifiers that even the most stubborn of babies will try?

Basically what the title says. I’m 17w PP with my first baby. He’s a sweet little boy as easy as babies can come. The issue is I have such bad PPA, it makes life unlivable despite being blessed with the best starter baby.

I’d always dreamt of having a big family. Having siblings myself, whom I love and can’t imagine my life and childhood without, had always envisioned to have multiple kids.

The thought of my son not having a playmate growing up. Someone to fight over the TV remote with, tackle on the carpet, chat all night with when they share a bed at hotels, etc, makes me so so sad. All of my friends who are only kids hated growing up alone.

And he doesn’t have any cousins his age (and non of our close friends have kids). So he’d effectively be entirely alone with two (albeit cool and youngish) parents and that just seems so boring and unfulfilling for a child.
We went on a trip recently and seeing all the siblings play together on the beach made me want that for him. Not being alone making a sand castle by himself (or with a fully grown adult i mean it’s fun when they’re 3 but when he’s 7, he might not want mom to play with him in public lol). Anyways I digress.

All the moms in my mom group (babies are all the same age) were talking about how they’re already ready for a second child. How they could totally do it if they got pregnant right now etc. And it made me feel so odd because I am SO not ready. I dread getting pregnant again. I can’t imagine living through my anxiety right now AND having another child to care for. I get so freaked out when I hear a loud car outside, or my husband is on the phone, or basically any noise while baby naps, that I literally freeze and do nothing the entire nap by fear of waking him. I can’t imagine how I’d handle having a baby and a toddler who will definitely make noise.

But I also feel like well I could suffer for a few months or even a year if it meant my son could have a buddy for life. It’d be selfish not to. But also, as I type this and I’m mid panic attack, I just feel like I could never handle two kids. Solely because of my anxiety.

I’ve literally told my husband we should consider adopting an older child (maybe toddler aged). It’d help a child in need, give our son and buddy and I wouldn’t go through PP again. He’s actually open to it. But that’s a whole other ordeal like the fear that our families wouldn’t love that child as much (we would but what if they weren’t as accepting idk).

So there… My mind is spiraling. Is it just that it’s too early in my PP journey? Is it totally normal to feel this way ? Did you feel this way and then change your mind or choose to have another kid and it turned out great for you?

For reference, LO is a little older than 7 months. She started daycare at a larger daycare center at 3.5 months old. I love our center and have no complaints!

Somehow we managed to keep our December baby illness-free for the first 14 weeks of her life. I got the RSV and flu shot while pregnant, and others in her life got relevant vaccines, as well.

But she started daycare on a Monday at the end of March and got sneezy/sick 2 days later. She. Has. Literally. Been. Sick. Since. The. Beginning. Of. April!!!! It is now almost August!

Like literally no break. I took her to the doctor a few times and they checked her ears and everything and said they were just "rolling" daycare colds and she is fine. She has had a few days where she seems a little better (but still snotty/sneezy) and then it'll go back to more intense cold. The other day she seemed worse than usual, so I took her in and they said she had adenovirus in her throat, but again no ear infection and she is fine. They told us to continue what we're doing: Increasing hydration (breastmilk), snot sucking, saline drops, humidifier, have her in the bathroom when you have steamy showers, Tylenol if she seems extra fussy.

I was prepared for her to be sick some. But not literally constantly for almost 5 months! I know it's the whole "first year of daycare" thing but I didn't know that meant every moment! I was hoping she would get even a week or so break from being sick, but no such luck and now that it's almost August, we're almost coming up on Fall/Winter colds again :(

She is still so happy, pleasant, eats well, has good diapers, playful, ahead on her milestones, super active, great sleeper (minus the nighttime coughing), so she does not seem miserable.

Again, I was prepared for sick, and my husband and I have miraculously not gotten sick. But I'm asking this because the other kids in her class don't seem to be sick like this!? Is she going to be one of those kids who's sick all the time as an adult (for reference and *knock on wood*, my husband and I almost never get sick)?

I wouldn't be so worried if other kids in her class were also sick like this, but they're not?! Pediatrician says she's fine and it's normal. She also said to prepare for it to get worse as she gets to be toddler age, so that's fun! But to my other daycare parents, what was your experience?

Hi all! I had my baby 4 months ago via c section. I have been experiencing on & off gallbladder pain every now and then but it subsides. The past 3/4 days I have had gallbladder pain causing shoulder blade pain and lower back pain. While I was pregnant I felt this pain in my right rib but found out my baby’s head was there so chopped it up to that being the reasoning. Now I’m wondering if that wasn’t the case. Has anyone experienced gallbladder issues postpartum? At around 3am last night I was pretty sure I needed to go to the hospital as the pain was so bad while lying down. I obviously have a 4 month old to take care of so running to the hospital isn’t really an option unless it’s a dire need. I have scheduled a GI appt in 5 days. This is just causing me a whole bunch of anxiety since really the main treatment is surgery. I can’t leave my baby. I’m also breastfeeding on top of all this. I have been barely eating so that I don’t cause even worse pain and that’s not helping anything. Any advice is helpful. Thanks in advance 🤍

We've had a wild ride with my now-3 month old (postpartum pre-e, she had a scary hospitalization herself, moved across the country when she was 8 weeks old) so we are deciding to celebrate her with a Sip and See! We didn't have a shower for her since we lived in another part of the country so this will be the first gathering for her.

It's a few weeks away so gathering decor and activity ideas. Theme is Cafe Bebe and will have coffee bar, cafe pastries, etc.

Wondering if anyone did any activities they loved or had something special there? We did a shower for my first and had some traditional baby shower games but since this daughter is already here I'm looking for other ideas!

I feel like I’m failing my twins in so many different aspects. I am going through the process of receiving a POTS diagnosis, and every day is so hard and getting harder. My symptoms started setting in shortly after my girls were born. You would never know from the outside, and only a select few of my close friends and family know what I’ve been dealing with. I absolutely love being outside, I love cooking, I love gardening, dancing, so many things I can’t do with or for my daughters. I can’t lift a laundry basket, I can’t cook because of the heat from the oven/stove and how long I have to stand. Today I can’t even lift my daughters. If someone tried to take them from me, I don’t think I could stop them and that’s terrifying!

My husband’s work has threatened to fire him if he comes home to help me and we can’t afford to hire someone that could help. I feel like a failure as a wife and mom. I’ve basically completely given up breastfeeding because of how badly it drains me. One girl is exclusively formula fed and one is almost exclusively formula fed (mostly just nurses for comfort). I have no problem with formula and I’m super thankful for it, but I’m very sad that I couldn’t meet my breastfeeding goals. Our big dreams of having a large family seem to have gone out the window. I love caring for those around me and now I can barely manage simple household tasks. I can’t stand in the shower. Grocery shopping isn’t an option anymore because of how much standing/walking it requires. I can’t take my daughters outside for more than 5 or 10 minutes. My girls have just been watching the wiggles for the past hour because I physically don’t have the energy to chase after them and I feel terrible about it, but what am I supposed to do? 😭 I can’t freaking pick them up because it causes so much pain!!!! I’ve been in my feels all day and whenever I look at them I just feel so sad.

I want to do more than I can so badly. Not to mention the brain fog is INTENSE. I forget everything, it’s so embarrassing. I just want to be a present mom. I have no problem with accepting help or using assistance tools, but I don’t have access to very much. We are not doing well financially and we cannot afford to get takeout all the time, but I have no energy left to cook. So may of the frozen or quick options are filled with crap that I don’t want us to be eating. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I’m tired of this and having an extremely hard time accepting that this is my life now. I’m only 22!! I know how this sounds, so negative. I am so thankful for my daughters and husband and love them so much. But I just want to be better.

I’m EBF and my baby was 9lbs 8 oz at birth, but dropped to 8 lbs, we are at 12 pounds 3 oz at exactly 3 months old

The latest dr. appointment I went to, his head and height circumference were in the 90th percentile

But his weight was 18th percentile

His diapers look normal daily with at least 5 wet diapers and he usually does 2-3 big poops and then little poops scattered throughout the rest

He has always been angry / complain immediately coming off the boob but once he’s held up to burp he stops and he plays. He’s hitting the milestones so far like with grabbing and batting, he hasn’t fully rolled over yet but he rolls on his sides when he has a toy in hand

What is the danger of him being 18th percentile ? Does the risk of something bad go up the lower he is ?? Can anyone give advice on if I should be feeding twice during wake up windows ?

His wake windows are around 1.25/1.30/1.45/1.45 He has 4 naps usually and eats upon waking, his naps are all over the place in duration, but sometimes it’s this 1.20/.50/.30/.30

Sometimes if he is too fussy lately, I have fed him twice within the wake window bc I’m scared I’m not feeding him enough and I can’t see !!!

my girl is 5 months and in the 95% for length. I used to easily nurse her to sleep then transfer her to the bassinet. I had my hands under butt and head shoulder, put butt down first then head.

now when I pick her up she startles more or something so now she’s kinda wiggly as I put her down and sometimes it wakes her up.

how exactly are you lifting and transferring your non newborn baby?

It’s only 10:00 am and what a morning it has been… I’m sitting here with my baby girl napping on me just sobbing because of how guilty I feel. I feel horrible that for my dog because I yelled at him and I feel horrible that the yelling scared my baby.

Our morning routine is normally wake up at 7, bottle, play time until 9, breakfast, then we get dressed and walk the dog. I live in a condo so I don’t have a yard right out back where I can just let him out unleashed unfortunately. My dog is used to this routine and normally won’t even get his old ass out of bed until it’s time for his walk. For some fuc*** up reason this morning was different. While I was upstairs cleaning up a blow out and the breakfast my baby was covered in my dog decided to go downstairs and leave a PUDDLE of pee….. I was in the process of getting my baby ready so we could take him for his routine walk…. He couldn’t wait 5 more minutes. 5 MORE MINUTES. So I come downstairs and put my 9 month old down so I can put on the baby carrier and I hear “SPLASH SPLASH” I look over by the door and my girl is splashing around in the dog pee that I had just noticed right in front of the door. I dont know what happened after that. I just saw red. Pure frustration. I completely lost my temper and screamed at my dog. Very very loudly I screamed “WHAT DID YOU DO THIS IS BAD YOUR BAD” and lots of accidental curse words. My baby got scared and started crawling away as fast as she could while crying. My dog got scared and took off running tail between his legs. I got scared and just started crying while holding my baby and getting the bath ready.

I don’t loose my temper like that often what so ever. I’m a very chill person but I’m a stay at home mom and currently solo parenting per usual since my husband travels for work and is gone for weeks at a time. My 9 month old’s top two front teeth are coming in so the nights have been rough. I’ve been getting minimal sleep and my 9 month old is WILD, crawling everywhere, hates being held (unless she’s ready for a nap) so I barely have the chance to sit down during the day unless she’s napping like right now. So I am TIRED. Any advice on how to stay calm in really frustrating situations when you’re tired and overstimulated?? I never want to yell and scare my girl ever again that was terrible I feel so guilty

EDIT: just to clear things up, my dog is 9 years old. He likes to sleep until at least 9:00 am he dosnt budge in the morning so that’s why I don’t walk him straight away. He has a routine. Also He NEVER has accidents. This is maybe his 3rd accident in the 6 years we have lived here. So yes I feel bad for loosing my temper. I feel awful. I made this post for parenting advice on how to stay calm when you’re sleep deprived and doing everything ALONE. I don’t need anyone telling me they feel bad for my dog like yes I do too for yelling at him. But he also has an amazing life he goes everywhere with my baby and I. I lost my temper in the moment

Hello! Please help me decide what to do in the saga of trying to get my baby to eat. Yesterday was the worst it's ever been and I had to stop feeding them because I started to get frustrated and cry. I hate having to force a bottle in their mouth but I know they are hungry. I just don't know what to do.

When baby was born, I tried to breastfeed but my milk never came in so we transitioned to formula. Currently drinks Members Mark. Bottles are EvenFlo Wide Neck.

At 3 weeks, baby was spitting up some (mostly when laying them down to sleep). Also having some arching of back (also when laying down). Thought maybe reflux. We started to add oatmeal (per pediatrician's recommendation) to formula. Had to size up to X cut from Slow nipples due to clogging. Baby stopped spitting up but would spill milk during the feed and choke (presumably due to how fast the nipple was). Tried this for about a week. Decided to go back to regular formula and see how baby was doing. Baby did fine. No issues with spitting up.

As feed volume got larger, baby started to take longer and longer to feed. At times it would take 40+ minutes for baby to have 4 ounces. Baby would get sleepy throughout the feed and we had to constantly wake them. Brought this up to pediatrician at the 2 month visit who said that we should go up nipple size.

We have been trying Medium nipples for the past week. Baby will take the first 1-3 ounces and then start to cry and violently reject the bottle. Lots of tongue thrusts. Lots of back arching. Lots of spilling of milk out of mouth. Can finish the rest of the 5 oz bottle in a total of 20-30 minutes, but at the end of their wake window will be rooting and trying to go for my breast as I rock them (this could possibly for soothing?).

Again I am worried this is reflux. Had bought Gelmix prior so I made a 6 oz bottle and added 1 scoop (I wanted to slowly adjust to have baby get used to it). Baby drank 1 oz in 15 minutes and fell asleep. Since this was not working, tried to mix 3 oz of the (1:6 mixture) with 3 oz of regular formula to have it be even more diluted. Baby was crying horribly and refusing. After trying for about an hour, baby only took another ounce.

I really need help to determine if its the nipple or reflux or???

Just looking for some insight here. My bean is 11 weeks today and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it or expecting too much too soon. I feel like we messed up by feeding him on demand for the first almost 2 months. He was eating every hour/hour and a half. The last few weeks we’ve been trying to feed him on a schedule which has been sort of working. My issue is with napping/sleep. I took the taking Cara babies course and the premise is wake feed play sleep. However my child will not nap more than 30-45 mins so he usually will wake play feed sleep because the end of his wake windows will end up coinciding with his next feed (every 3 hours currently). Is it that big a deal? I just want to set him up to sleep well. He’s inconsistent with sleep, anywhere from 4.5-8hours per night. So the feeding schedule is kind of hard too bc we aren’t waking him up to eat to remain on schedule (we did for the first time this morning and have decided not to do it again) and I’m just kind of at a loss? We feed him right as he wakes after that long stretch which could be any time so it’s not like he eats at the same times every day too. He also goes to bed later like between 930-1030. If he’s asleep earlier than that he will wake up. Like are these babies that have a consistent sleep schedule older and I’m just jumping the gun? Do I just say screw all the methods and do our own thing?

This is a bit embarrassing but I am 3years pp. Ever since giving birth I have been unable to jump without peeing myself a little bit. I thought in the first 2 years it might clear up as it took a while for my body to recover but it’s just gotten worse over time. I’m only in my early 20’s and have only had 1 kid, I’ve spoken to my mum about it and she said she only had problems after having 4 and being in her late 30s. I’ve been getting into exercise a lot more in the past 2 months so this issue has only become more and more apparent. I’ve tried kegels, yoga, Pilates etc. but nothing has really helped. Has anyone else had this issue? I’m a bit too embarrassed to see a dr since all my other issues pp were chalked up to “anxiety” and the last thing I want is another dr telling me I’m making things up

We have a 10 week old baby boy who a few weeks ago was giving us 4 or 5 hour stretches of sleep, which is why we’re so confused because we know he has the ability, but he’s only sleeping at most, 2 hours at a time now. This has been going on for a couple of weeks now. We’ve tried just changing a diaper, or just getting up and rocking with him to soothe him but he always wakes back up shortly after crying. When we feed we usually get 1.5-2 hours of sleep.

Some background on him, he’s exclusively breastfed, and sleeps in a bassinet in our room. He usually starts going down at 7pm and is typically in crib by 7:30. We do a dream feed around 9:30pm. We give him a bottle of pumped milk at 9:30pm with about 4.5oz in it. He’s gaining weight super well, gained 3lbs last month and is at 11lbs 12oz as of last Wednesday at his 2 month appointment, so we know he’s eating enough (as well as plenty of dirty and wet diapers). He sleeps in a Halo cotton swaddle. We’ve tried a couple different options worried he was maybe cold or hot. He pretty much eats every two hours during the day, obviously on demand, but that is typically every 2 hours. We pay attention to wake windows and his sleepy cues during the day.

This might just be a “he’s a baby they do this” type of situation, but we’re exhausted and confused so I thought I’d post what we’re doing in case my sleep deprivation is keeping me from realizing something we could be missing. Thank you for any guidance or help you can provide.

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I am struggling with breastfeeding my 8-week-old baby.

For the first month, everything went very well. He latched well, transferred milk efficiently, and gained weight appropriately, maybe more than it should, though he didn't jump crazy the percentiles. However, for the past three weeks, feeding has become increasingly difficult and unpredictable.

The main difficulties are:

- He often refuses the breast or only accepts certain positions.

- He used to nurse well while sleepy or asleep, but now he almost never does.

- At night, especially between about 2 a.m. and 7–8 a.m., he often refuses to feed.

- His sucking seems weaker and slower than before, as if he is no longer sucking effectively.

- Sometimes he seems to want to suck only for comfort, but if my milk lets down, he becomes upset and pulls away.

- He refuses bottles (I have tried Lansinoh and Avent) and pacifiers.

- He has developed mild silent reflux and very infrequent stools.

- He is already receiving physiotherapy because of increased neck tension.

Last couple of days he refuses to nurse in between sleep. I managed so far to do this trick. But today he nursed only 3 times and not full feeds in 6 hours and he wouldn't go that long, he used to have 12-14 feeds a day. I'm afraid it's gone to total feed refusal/aversion and we'll end up with feeding tube.

Although his weight gain has remained good overall, every feeding has become stressful. I worry that he is not transferring enough milk, that my milk supply is decreasing because of reduced breast stimulation, and that I am missing the cause of the problem.

I'm not sure if it's related to my hormones, I got my period 5 days ago. But in the mornings I used to feel my boobs full. I wasn't able to pump while baby didn't nurse in the night because he would be fussy and wake up but still not feed. I know this might reduced my output, but since he would eat a lot during the day I taught that I can pull this off. I have at least a 5oz capacity I was able to pump this amount after 3h during the late afternoon once when he wouldn't nurse, though I suspect it's actually more like 6oz. He is my second born, I had at least 5oz capacity with my first, so that's why I think I got more now. I never exclusively pump to have a better understanding of it. And in the beginning I avoided pumping so I don't get a massive oversupply and mastitis.

I am looking for advice from anyone who has experienced something similar and how did it resolved.

Can someone tell me exactly what they do and what to expect and is it painful

My baby is a very active sleeper and right when you transfer to the bassinet will grunt and stretch and wiggle and make so many noises for an hour until she calms down.

When does that end and when do they start sleeping more peacefully