I live with a roommate who feels it's her job to manage everyone in the house. I mainly ignore her but we clash very hard when it comes to my personal autonomy and privacy…and that of my family. This woman regularly shares my family's personal details with her friends, mutual friends whoever she wants…and I'm very private. We argue about this constantly.

She also feels it's necessary to “help” me with my personal situations, even when specifically told said “help” is not welcome.

Today I had cataract removal surgery on one eye. She was my ride. It made her happy to help. That is truly the only help I needed, wanted or requested and I was grateful for it.

When we got home she immediately went into my bag and pulled out my post op instructions. I took them from her and asked her to please respect my privacy.

Her reply: I need to make sure I understand those instructions so I can make sure you're following them.

Me: You don't. I've read and understand them and I'm aware of what I need to do

Her: I really need to see them,just in case you forget.

Me: You don't.

She got mad and stormed off. About two hours later she came to my room.

Her: I'm just checking on you:

Me: Oh? Why is that?

Her: Have you put in your eye drops?

Me: Thanks for your concern, I'm fine.

Her: Have you put in your eye drops?

Me: I don't need to be parented but thank you.

Her: Did you set an alarm for your eye drops?

Me: I prefer to handle this myself, but thank you.

Her: Well you know you can't go in the pool.

(I spend hours a day in the pool and double and triple checked the rules around that WITH MY DOCTOR AND THE NURSING TEAM)

Me: I checked with Dr G and the nursing team before I left. I'm allowed in the pool as long as I don't submerge my head or do anything strenuous.

Her: I checked online and you're not allowed in the pool

Me: I have checked with my medical team and I am.

Her: Well I don't want you to go in the pool.

Me: That's not your decision but thanks for your input. ( I've already decided not to because I'm still dilated and that pool is BRIGHT. But this is my private bodily autonomy and not subject to her control or opinions . )

Her: Well if you do go in the pool make sure you let me know beforehand.

Me: Why?

Her: So I can make sure you're fully capable.

Me: That's not yours to decide. I won't be parented, but again thanks for your input.

Her: Do NOT go in that pool on your own.

Me: I will be informing you of exactly nothing, please leave my room.

And she cried and left going “I'm only trying to help. I'm only trying to be supportive”

For four years I've been telling her to quit parenting me. I hate it, don't need it, and actively resent it, yet she doesn't stop.

Now…she does this to her husband, her grown daughter, my grown daughters and my grandkids. It is always unwelcome. Her husband sighs, grumbles and allows it, her daughter allows it only very occasionally, my kids allow it never and we all intercept when she starts with the grandkids.

I've recently discovered she told her sister in law private details of my children's lives and my medical situations. She says because she was telling Carol about howuch empathy and compassion she has for me. I should think that would mean NOT sharing my private life with other people, no?.

What do I do about this? Is it possible to make her understand that her “help” is actually invasive and intrusive?

My accommodation is full of men (mostly from India) who are really aggressive and egotistical. For the past two years I’ve been harassed by them to the point my mental health suffered greatly. I try not to interact with them anymore, not even stay in the same kitchen space but they continue to trash the place and expect others to clean it up. I’ve reported them but nothing happens. I would expect grown men in their 20s to know better, but they act with such hostility you’d think they were teens. I’ve gotten to the point where I am looking to room with anyone not from India (sorry if this sounds racist) because I think it’s a cultural issue.

My roommate drove us home in her car after the movies yesterday, and I realized afterward that there were months of dried boogers wiped all over her passenger seat where I’d been sitting. Later I found more on the wall next to her bed and even on the side of my couch.

I politely brought it up, bought tissues for the house, and asked her to clean the couch. She denied it at first, got offended, and two hours later it’s still there.

I’m now looking for a new apartment because I genuinely can’t get past this.

WARNING, GROSS PICS

Basically just venting.

I moved to a new city and I had to get a roommate, after looking on Facebook etc for weeks, I found this girl who was looking for a roommate to renew her lease, we agreed to resign together, fast forward to moving in day her boyfriend was there, she introduced him and told me, there is no problem if you bring your significant other here or any guests, but I assumed he was just visiting her or something.

Anyway, it has been two months and he is in the apartment all the time sleeping with her, which I really don't care about.

My issues are, he never cleans after himself specially the restroom ( I am always cleaning the goddamned restroom)

He is there when she is not, at the beginning I thought he would just be there to watch the world cup games, but no, yesterday was my day off and after running some errands all morning I arrived home and started doing my laundry listening to music, I saw some keys on the table and sent my roommate a text "hey you forgot your keys" and she responded "I did, I might knock the door later" so I went about my day. And then her boyfriend comes out of her room.

I know I have to have a conversation with her, but I am not looking forward to her becoming hostile or looking for another place.

😮‍💨😩

Fair warning that this is a rant (please excuse any typos or formatting errors. don't normally post on reddit)

I'm(21F) living in an apartment on campus for the summer for an internship and got assigned a random roommate(21F) who I had met and was briefly in the same sorority with before she dropped it and I stayed, so I was never super familiar with her. She's friendly enough but also one of the most obnoxious people I have ever roomed with. Her boyfriend is over CONSTANTLY, usually every day multiple times a day. She says she also has an internship but I swear she is hardly ever not home, except for when she went on a week long vacation with said boyfriend (who she ALSO is working on her internship with!)

All of my complaints are minor but they are really snowballing. She went to "work" at her internship one day when I was feeling sick and was not even gone for a full two hours before she came home saying that the day "drained her". Personally, I'm working 40 hour work weeks with my internship. I have to be at mine at 8am but she is absolutely NOT quiet at all when I am trying to sleep. Things will be getting dropped at least 3 times and doors/drawers/etc are Not gonna be closed quietly. I've stopped trying to be quiet while I get ready in the mornings. She also has left hair in our shower and her parts of our room are consistenly looking like a disaster area of piles of clothes, random knickknacks and skincare, etc. I normally wouldn't mind this but she won't stop mentioning it and saying "oh i'll get it organized soon haha" to the point that its getting on my nerves, especially since she doesn't seem to actually go into work most days.

A few more quick things: I will be laying in bed trying to sleep and instead of going into the bathroom and shutting the door to do her skincare, she will leave the bathroom door open with the light on and sit on her bed to do it instead, which casts that bright light into the entire room. She mumbles constantly, to the point I can hardly understand what she's saying or tell if she's even talking to me at all or to herself.

This next part I may just be paranoid. Her boyfriend has been nice enough but there is just something off about him to me. Every time he is in our place I just have this indescribable feeling of "I have to get away from them." She asked me once initially if it was okay for him to be at our place and I said sure thinking it would be every couple days or so, not every single day. The part where I might be paranoid is that they keep showing up at my internship. Granted, I'm interning at our campus library, but they come here constantly and even the other day when I was somewhere else on campus they somehow "ran into me" there too. I just feel really uncomfortable around them, and I can't really pinpoint exactly why because it's not like they've done anything outright to upset me or be weird.

I move back home next Friday (July 31st) and its safe to say I'm absolutely counting down the days. Today I've even started taking my stuff to my car in (extremely) small batches so I can leave the moment I'm able to.

i have a roommate who is extremely lazy and dirty, she never cleans or does chores unless i ask and when i do ask it’s a toss up on whether she does them efficiently or even at all. i am 25, she’s 23. when we first moved in i tried it all, a chore chart, a schedule, all of which was ignored. she also fills up the recycling within 2 days with gallons of juice and soda and then never takes it out, always just leaves it to me, and leaves greasy pizza boxes and cardboard to pile up. i am pretty non-confrontational unless i absolutely have to be so i just picked up the cleaning slack for a while, until i got fed up and just stopped cleaning everywhere except my room. it’s disgusting and im miserable, im just trying to grin and bear it until im gone.

i’m moving out in a week and half, she is staying. i’m not sure if she will be getting another roommate or not. would it be a good or bad idea to mention her cleaning habits (or lack thereof) to the landlord before i go? i don’t want to possibly be blamed or charged for cleaning fees when she eventually does move out.

I've been living with my housemate for a year now and she always has her boyfriend staying over without me even knowing she now has her sister staying over without even telling me as well Her family come up to the house and they all talk smack about Me behind my back even though I'm in the house. I can't even leave my bedroom now to go to the toilet. She makes the house feel like it's her own house, she keeps moving my clothes out the way into an empty room and all, but she leaves her clothes on a rack in Plainview like in the kitchen what can I do? we don't talk much at all now.

I moved into my current place a year ago , and being here has always been less than ideal, but now it’s just unbearable. Besides the other people that I live with being loud and inconsiderate, dealing with my one roomates dogs makes me want to move despite me not being able to financially. He’s had both dogs for about 5 years now, and neither of them are spayed or neutered. They’re constantly barking, urinating, and defecating throughout the day no matter how many times they’re brought outside or given attention.

The roomate that owns the dogs is only home once or twice a week at most so taking care of the dogs falls on the rest of us in the house. I believe that their behaviors are partially due to them being unfixed , and when I talked to my roomate about getting them fixed, he said he may want to breed them in the future and he refused when I said I would even pay for the procedures. I don’t understand why he would rather deal with their behavioral issues for the rest of their lives instead of dealing with them accordingly.

I’ve been spending less time at the house and sleeping in my car because I don’t want to deal with them, and every time I go back to the house I find dog urine or feces in my area. Me and my roomates areas are separated by a door, but he removed the lock and handle mechanism shortly before I moved in. Him and the other roomates have to go through my area to leave the house, and they never close the door after themselves so the dogs have free rein over my area and they will constantly relieve themselves in my area without fail.

My roomates keep telling me that they’ll keep the door closed and make sure that their dogs don’t get into my area, but they never keep their word. I’m getting tired of it and I would’ve moved by now, but I have two cats and finding an affordable place that accepts pets is almost impossible at this point. My roomate says that his dogs are only misbehaving because of my cats and the dogs are just “marking territory” and that’s just the stupidest thing I’ve heard. I just don’t know what to do anymore,at this point I’m just wasting money paying for a place for my cats to stay because I try to stay out of the house as much as possible.

I apologize for the long essay, but if anyone has been in a similar situation and has any advice, I’d appreciate it 🥲

TLDR: my roomates dogs have turned the whole house into their bathroom and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Thankfully I am moving out on Friday!
So basically ive been at this apartment since last year, at first I got along with my roommates, but now I dont. I have adhd and sometimes have forgot to throw away my microwave meal box, and usually when I remember to it is already thrown away . There were times I had people over without me telling them, but they also did the same thing so I am unsure why they act like they didnt do it first.
Anyways, I was at my parents for a few weeks and when I got back some of my stuff was missing from the shower, my roommates knifes were not in its set, and I looked around and found they were in the dishwasher, cleaners had come over I believe during the time i was gone and I got accused of touching her stuff. She thought I used her cooking supplies, when I do not cook I always have used microwave meals. She sent me a video of the fridge acting like everything in it was mine when in fact I had only used the left side.

I am genuinely annoyed. 😒. She also accused me of using her utensils, when I have my own. How could I have if I was gone for 3 weeks? I also went out today to buy more trashbags and paper towels so I could throw my trash away. My roommate came back before I got back and then she accused me of being filthy when it was barely anything.

Whenever she has come over when im not home she takes my shower things. Most of my stuff was moved when the cleaners came over like my razor and shampoo but now I feel like that part was my roommate stealing my stuff.

What do I do?