I had a masectomy yesterday. I've never had a major surgery before, but have been with others when they have.

I was taken to the OR and the surgeon verbally acknowledged me again. When the anesthesiologist started his part I realized without saying anything she just came over and held my hand.

She made me feel like a person. She made me feel cared for. It was a small gesture but it meant and means all the world to me.

I’m from saudi arabia 🇸🇦

I don’t like my country.. I wish I was born somewhere else like Germany or Denmark or the USA or Japan or even Morocco, anywhere that is more popular and has cooler history

Like for example Germany has Beethoven and Bach, cars, Albert einstein, etc etc. Japan has Mount Fuji and anime and very nice cuisine and video games. The USA is just extremely comfortable and has everything. Basically any famous person is from USA (Micheal jackson bill gates abraham lincoln), and a lot of the mainstream TV shows I watch are American so if I was american I could can easily relate to them

I just feel like my country doesn’t align with my interest and values. Even music and art is considered prohibited by some people here. I’m passionate about them and there are few institutions for those kinds of things so that sucks

And if I want to move abroad, I feel that I wont be respected because Im Saudi and my country has a bad rep. People look at my country and it’s not universally loved like there’s always controversy. Whenever someone sees it they think islam (which has a bad rep i think) or 9/11 and whatver. Dating or being LGBTQ is not accepted and you could get arrested for it.

Also other countries are progressive and not religiously fundamentalist like mine like mine has segregation in schools and colleges and dating isn’t allowed so I’m jealous of other lifestyles because they’re more accepted and they’re the norm and WE are the weird ones

And don’t get me started on the climate!! It’s so uncomfortable and hot. It’s a desert. The Middle East in general is one of the most uncomfortable regions. I would rather live somewhere cold than not because atleast you don’t sweat when cold (yes that’s my reason) And cold is easier to fight than heat imo. (removed because there are bigger fish to fry)

We’re not exactly famous, and we don’t have much famous about our country, i have so little to flex and be proud of. When you think of Norway you think of vikings and erling haaland when you think of Japan you think of Samurai and sushi when you think of Saudi Arabia only bad things come to mind and that pisses me off

I’m afraid to tell Westerners I’m Saudi because I don’t like it, and I’m pretty sure no one else does either
Sorry if this post seems immature or naive this is just me dumping everything and I’m a teenager so

My Husband and i lived in apartments for years, after a while we decided to rent a house and try to take a step forward. We lived in the house for a little over 2 years and we had a lot of issues.

The financial changes really put a strain on our relationship. We would get into explosive fights multiple times a month. Both of our mental health issues got much worse. I did end up getting specialized therapy which did help some. We also tried couples therapy for a bit.

After all of the issues and stress of the House, we decided to move into an apartment thats cheaper. I feel both embarrassed and relieved. I know our decisions dont need to make sense to everyone, but its still hard. I feel like a failure for not making the house work. I know it doesnt mean we cant have a house one day either. I also realize that a lot of people are really struggling right now.

On the bright side, we are taking this time to try to improve ourselves and work on some things individually and together. I hope it works, but i still feel badly.

Thanks for reading ❤️‍🩹

I dont understand what more I can do.

My husband (29M) and me (28F) have been together for about 8 years now.

Things have always been amazing. Yes we have issues like every couple but we work them out. We both suffer from bad mental health. Me a little more but I am getting help.

The past maybe..year or even more our bedroom life has seemed to take a dive. I always want to try new things. I am always bringing up things to add or do. And he never wants to do anything. The most is a new position here or there that makes me get on top which isn't a favorite of mine due to self esteem issues but I know he enjoys it so i do it anyways.

We maybe do it once..every month if I am lucky. When I am on my meds my stamina is very very high. I try to be touchy with him. I try to find what I want. (I am not good with words so actions are easy) normally I am not a touchy person so when I overly touchy it normally means I am in the mood. He just shuts me down and tells me we need to sleep or something. Last few times it was before a shower and he would just tell me to go shower already.

I will even put his hands on my chest and body and i still cant even get anything. Last time I brought it up he told me he just doesnt feel "wanted" enough. And i have asked what he wants me to do. He said more touchy. Which I have tried and I still get nothing. He told me its because i am not direct. I have tried just straight up asking for it and I get a flat. No. So I stopped asking. Ive asked if its me. The way I look my body. No he claims he adores my body.

For me s\\\*x is a stress reliever and a time i can just..not focus in things. And ive told him this. It's my one time i feel good where I can turn my brain off. And I feel like I try to do everything for him but here I am. Im just losing my mind at lack of intimacy and my mind is always in the gutter. So badly its hard to have a normal day at work without wanting to die considering i work with all blue collar men who love dirty jokes and talk. Im just losing my mind.

30F here.

Last week, I found out that my ex-boyfriend got married.

I wasn’t heartbroken, but I was surprised. For a few seconds, I honestly didn’t know what to feel. My mind just went blank.

For context, we started dating in 2021. He had just graduated from college while I was already working. Since he was just starting his career, I was usually the one paying whenever we’d go out. I never saw it as a burden because I knew he was still trying to build his career.

Even after he got a job, our setup didn’t really change. I still spent more most of the time, and honestly, I didn’t mind. I loved him, so it never really bothered me.

I used to joke about getting married someday. Whenever I brought it up, he’d always say he wasn’t ready yet because he was just starting his career. Fair enough- I understood.

Eventually, things became unhealthy. There was cheating, trust was broken, and in 2024, just three hours before my birthday, he suddenly stopped replying. No explanation. He just disappeared.

A few months later, he reached out and apologized. We started talking again once in a while. We spent Christmas and New Year together, and I even went with him to buy clothes before his first business trip abroad.

While he was away, he’d send me updates about how beautiful everything was. I was genuinely happy for him because I knew that trip meant a lot to him.

When he got back, he told me he’d stop by my place because I had asked him to buy me a few things. I cleaned my place, and waited.

He never came.

That was the last time I heard from him.

About two months later, someone showed me his post with another girl. They were traveling together abroad. It hurt, but I kept reminding myself that we weren’t together anymore.

A year later, in 2026, I came across a story and saw that he had married the same girl.

My first reaction wasn’t anger.

It wasn’t even sadness.

It was more like, “Wow… life really does have its own way of working things out.”

For a moment, I wondered why he seemed ready so quickly. Then I realized maybe I was asking the wrong question.

Maybe it wasn’t about being ready.

Maybe life simply took us in different directions.

Looking back, I don’t regret loving him. I don’t regret supporting him while he was still building his career, and I don’t regret believing in the future we once talked about. Those memories were real, and they’ll always be part of my life.

I also realized that someone else’s choices don’t define my worth. Just because we didn’t end up together doesn’t mean I wasn’t enough. It just means we weren’t meant to spend the rest of our lives together.

Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some people become part of your life to teach you something, help you grow, and then become part of your past. That doesn’t erase the good memories or make the relationship a failure.

After seeing that story, I found myself booking another trip. Not because I was heartbroken, but because I realized I had spent enough time looking back. It felt like it's the perfect time to look ahead instead. A new place, new experiences, and a fresh perspective were exactly what I needed. It reminded me that while one chapter of someone else’s life was beginning, mine was too.

I guess that was my way of reminding myself that life keeps moving.

We all have our own timeline. Some people get married earlier. Some focus on their careers. Some travel. Some are still figuring things out. None of that means anyone is ahead or behind.

To my ex and his wife, congratulations. I genuinely wish you both a happy life together.

As for me, I’m looking forward to whatever comes next. I don’t know exactly what my future looks like yet, and I’m okay with that.

Maybe that’s the biggest lesson I learned from all of this: sometimes, closure doesn’t come from a conversation. Sometimes, it comes from realizing that life has already quietly moved both of you in the direction you were meant to go.

And that’s okay.

I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Just to clarify up front: I believe in total equality and shared effort in a relationship. I cook, clean, and do dishes, and I expect the same equal effort from a partner. I am not enforcing traditional gender roles, nor am I blaming or generalizing any group. I am simply sharing a personal story about how my upbringing shaped my standards for mutual care, and why not sharing domestic effort is a personal dealbreaker for me. I want to explain where this mindset comes from and household standards - they come entirely from the woman who raised me.

For context: My grandmother was one of the thoughest people I know. She had hepatitis C, cirrhosis ( despite never drinking or smoking), seven herniated disc in her back and severe fluid retention. She was 155 cm ( 5 1 inch) and because of her ilness she wighed around 130 k (290 lbs )g. Every step she took she´d stop and let a out a loudT "ah..." from the pain, and keep walking like nothing happened. The doctors told her to rest, We begged her all to stop. She didn't care. She raised both me and my cousin because our parents were kinda absent and she refused to stop taking care of us. We also helped as much as we could. but we had other things to do and at some point, jobs.

No matter how sick she was if the dishes were dirty, she'd wash them. If the floor needed cleaning, she'd clean it. If someone tried to do it for her, she'd get up and do it herself anyway. She would not accept help. Her last christmas was the ultimate example. She would spend days in a tiny kitchen making sarmale ( a traditional Romanian dish of minced meat and rice rolled by hand into cabbage leaves, this takes A LOT of time standing ) along with cakes, soups, roasted meats, salads and more traditional foods. She stood there in agony for hours because she believed taking care of her family was her duty.

One day she even fell into a well. Despire her broken body and kg, she somehow managed to climb back!! This is from where she ended up with herniated disks.

Growing up watching that set my personal standard for what effort, care and duty look like ! To my grandmother, cooking and taking care of the home they were her way of loving us.

Because of my upbringing, having a partner who refuses to share household responsibilities is an absolute dealbreaker for me. However, I’ve found this hard to navigate in dating without people assuming I'm demanding traditional roles. How and when do you communicate your standards for equal household effort when dating someone new?

English isn't my first language so please excuse the bad wording.

I (20F) have been prone to lying as far as I can remember. I don't know when or why it begun, but I have lied about anything and everything in my life, no matter how big or small. Contrary to that, I overshare quite a lot (surprise surprise the person posting to hundreds of strangers) so often people catch some inaccuracies in my stories which makes me feel so embarrassed. I have tried to catch myself before doing it and even have said out loud "sorry, I don't know why I said this, it was actually like this or that". I think it's a self-preservation thing, but it doesn't change the fact that I do it. I don't think a lot of the people around me have noticed that I do it, but it definitely has put a strain on my social life, because I don't trust myself and believe everybody does the same, lie and deceive. I am writing this now because recently I've noticed that I have warped my own memories with my lies, I don't know what actually happened anymore because I have gaslit my own brain.

I’m a 31M. When I was young I was a book smart person. I got good grades and was always a perfectionist. I ended up getting a Master’s of Engineering in biomedical engineering and have worked at a medical device company for 8 years.

In my adult life I’ve had periods of time living alone and living with my parents, splitting the mortgage with them. Living alone was honestly depressing, at least living with my parents gives me everyday human interaction with people I love, even if I don’t have nearly as much personal space.

Most days my life feels monotonous at best. I wake up, eat, work all day, eat some more, take care of personal hygiene and errands, sleep, and maybe spend an hour or two with a friend here or there.

I used to think that once I got into a certain financial state I’d be happier. I have no debt and a 550k net worth now, but I still feel like I’m trapped in this cycle. I have hobbies, I like to fish and golf with friends in my free time. Some days it’s a lot of fun, but other days I just have so much on my mind and it’s hard to disconnect and live in the moment.

I’m tired of my life feeling like work, and honestly wishing my life away. I feel like a rat in a maze with all exits blocked, with the only options to burrow underneath it or jump over the walls. In a few months I’m planning to take my essentials and drive across the country and work from a totally different area to reset my mind and take in some different stimuli.

I feel the total opposite of “normal.” All my friends have girlfriends or wives, and I’m 31 and kissless. I have had no dating success. I’m very introverted and struggled on the apps. The few times I worked up the courage to ask someone out I was rejected and it made me feel undesirable and worthless in the moment. I think I need to make at least one drastic change if not more than one. Maybe quit my job and take a year to find out who I really am and what I want out of this life.

TLDR; life isn’t that fun. It just feels like survival. I want to feel excited when I wake up in the morning instead of dreading the day ahead.

My partner and I have a photo of us taken in public that was posted to a local Facebook group. People were so awful I don't know what to say. They called us fat, said we were drug addicts, said we were thieves, said we were "shithead protesters", and the biggest insult: *tourist.* I got called a "toppless bearded lady" at one point, that one stung.

Normally people being shitty online doesn't bother me that much, but this is so diffrent. It had my face clearly visible, as well as everyone who commented because this is facebook. And it was posted to a local Facebook page and got over 100 likes. In a town of less than 10,000 thats a ton of frigging people.

For context of the picture it wasn't anything weird or embarrassing in the slightest, thats kinda why im so demoralized by this. Like it'd be one thing if i did something to warrent public shaming, but no. I dont want to get into the specifics of the Pic, but it was bassicly the equivalent of... being questioned by police on the street.

Thats not what happened whatsoever, in fact what was actually happening was a lot more mundane than that, but it is a roughly equivalent scenario without going to deep.

We don't know what to do anymore. My partner and i have pretty bad social anxiety, now we have to worry about being randomly publicly shamed when doing absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever? Both of us are literally afraid to go out on public now...

I'm 19 . Lately I've been feeling mentally exhausted, lonely, and overwhelmed because of studies and some stuff at home.

Today I finally tried to tell my girlfriend that something was wrong. She asked what happened, and instead of feeling relieved, I felt - pressured.

Not because of anything she did. I just suddenly felt like I had to explain everything clearly why I feel this way, what's causing it, how long it's been going on. My mind went blank.

So I ended up making it sound like it was something small and changed the topic. Now I'm frustrated with myself.

I dk if anyone else experiences this, but I hate the pressure of having to be "clear" about my emotions. It feels like unless I can explain everything perfectly, I shouldn't say anything at all

It fucks my mind that ik everything to say , wht I'm feeling, wht r my thoughts but I just dk how to put it into words , and the fear of judgement..

Is this normal? How do you open up when you don't even know where to begin. It's so lonely...

I'm 25. I'm a trans woman in Middle East, closeted.

I recently confessed to my crush and got rejected. It hurts. It fucking hurts. This isn't even the first time I've been rejected. First time I was 16. I told a long time crush of mine about my feelings and could barely even remember me. Three years later I told a classmate of mine about my feelings for him, and again, I was rejected. Even made fun of; because I presented as a guy and he was a guy too (It's a super queerphobic country).

Years passed. I've finished second semester of university just recently (Couldn't go to uni for years because of my severe mental health problems + abusive family + mandatroy military service). I've come out to all my classamtes and am pretty social in my university.

I confessed to my crush two weeks ago, and it was devastating. I honestly don't know what I was thinking. It was fucking obvious she'd reject me. Why the fuck wouldn't she? I'm a nerdy, boring, mentally ill, super talkative trans woman. I'm broke and poor. I'm mid looking. I buy the cheapest clothes. She's super attractive. She buys the best fashion. She's rich af. Why THE FUCK would she even consider me as a potential partner? She can have whoever the fuck she wants (both guys and girls, considering she's bi).

I'm genuinely not suitable for a romantic relationship. Sure, I'm probably a good classmate. Maybe a good friend too. But there's no fucking way someone as good and flawless as her would ever even consider me. What on EARTH was I even thinking when I messaged her?

Yeah I've tried some dating apps. And all I've got were 30 or 40 yr old something men in whom I had zero interest.

There's absolutely no way you, or anyone can convince me that "I wIlL fInD mY rIgHt pErSoN oNe DaY". No. Shut up. I don't wanna find my person when I'm fucking 40. I've NEVER been in a relationship and I'm having a hard time believing it's just because I'm unlucky. Fuck all this. Fuck this life. I never asked for this. I never signed up for a life in which I'd never be desired by people I like.

My mom has been on financial hardships for about a decade, first it started off as debts with credit cards, then she lost her stable high paying job and took another that seemed more stable in the long run but offered her a lower salary. She never got back on her feet from there, always struggling to make it ends meet, a few years ago I started making more money and I'd often help her whenever she needed but she'd often ask me for money, her car broke, something in the house, she needed help with something for my step little sister. And honestly it was fine when I was able to help her but I work in a very volatile market and switch jobs often, there came a point where I got more anxious about not being able to help her than about surviving for myself.

I can't even talk about this with my partner, he complains that I help her too much. But if it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't even have the opportunities I have now, she never said no to me whenever she had the resources. So I feel in debt with her.

My grandma already passed away and recently my grandad too so she's even more sensitive. Her partner is a parasite, just existing and creating more problems for her, she does all the cleaning, taking care of my lil sister and pays all the bills, the man is just there taking up space. It breaks my heart to see her like that, I tried talking to her a lot but she seems to be so deep into this void that she no longer sees a way out.

A few days ago I sent her a message to check in on her, she said she felt lonely, that she barely has money to eat, to pay her bills, that so many things broke in her house and that she no longer has the strength to keep fighting but that she can't leave my lil sister because she needs her. Basically she told me she thought about ending her life.

Just talking to her takes a huge mental effort for me and I'm stressed and anxious because I'm not in a financial position to help her get out of where she is now and I feel guilty, guilty for not talking to her more because it's making me depressed, like I absorb every little thing she tells me and I end up mimicking her behaviors and life perspectives and it's destroying me because I want to help her. I sincerely do but my mental state is not strong enough to do it now.

And yeah I feel like I'm the worst person in the planet. And this has been going on for 4 years now (me supporting her financially, covering her emergency bills and basically being her emergency contact)

No one is my emergency contact... not even my partner, my dad is there yeah but he also has another family and my other sisters to deal with.

I'm shattered and I want to advance in life but how? How with all of them weighting in my head 24/7?

Whoever read it this far, thank you and I'm sorry if this also made you anxious.

This story is from a few years back, but I can’t stop thinking about it. At the time I was (21M) junior in college and had a situation ship (23F) senior. It started off innocent when she told me she was sick, and me being the fedora wearing self proclaimed nice guy(lol), I brought her medicine. She decided to invite me in to watch a movie and I accepted. A few days later she showed up at my dorm and tried to make a move, I denied her as I knew it was a bad idea. However, she was very… persuasive. We decided that we would not tell anyone of our relationship, for reasons I do not think add to the story, but for that reason I haven’t been able to fully talk to anyone about it.

This is why I come to you Reddit. As our relationship went on I noticed that she started to get more attached. Trying to go out in public and do PDA shit, getting pissed when I talked to other girls, and she even said I love you once, but she made it seem like it was a mistake and she didn’t mean it. At the time I didn’t think much of it.

However, this all came to a head towards the end of our finite relationship (she was about to graduate and move across the country). We were in bed watching a show when she looked up at me and said she’s pregnant. She had been missing her period for a few weeks before this so it all lined up. My heart sank, I have literally never felt a feeling like that before. All the thoughts running in my head, how will I finish college, start my career, or explain this relationship to everyone? I leaned back in bed and just covered my head in my hands as I processed all this. After about 10 minutes of laying there and her talking, she told me she was lying and wanted to see my reaction and that she had her period earlier that day. She was upset at my reaction and was hoping I would be excited. Needlessly to say I was PISSED and told her to give me space.

Here’s where the story gets good… The next day she wants to talk to me about everything. I accept and we chat. I was still pissed, but as I said she is very persuasive and I am but a man, and we ended up having sex later that day. I didn’t think anything about it, the week went by and we said our goodbyes as she left for *far way state.*

However, alone and away from her I started to think back… the sex we had the next day was NOT period sex. So now the last few years I can’t get it out of my head that she may have actually been pregnant at the time and later got an abortion. Is this a possibility? Surly there are hundreds of other explanations, but I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I was excited when she told me she was pregnant.

Anyway thanks for listening to my rant.

TLDR: Sneaky link ‘pranked?’ me into thinking she was pregnant, but I have my doubts it was a prank.

no one in my life knows this, so reddit here is my confession. TLDR: i fell in love for the first time and haven’t been able to move on for two years.

im 27f and ive been in a total of 3 relationships, the first two were in highschool and were stupid relationships. the third one, i met him when i was 20 in college and we dated for 4 years. it was the most toxic abusive relationship and it drove me to insanity. he was a narcissist and a sociopath and put me through intense hell. i can honestly say i was never in love with him, but i did love him. we ended pretty terribly, long story short he blackmailed me into staying with him. when i wasn’t budging he tried to kill himself infront of me. when i still wasn’t budging, he acted on the blackmail. i was sooooo scarred after this relationship that i stayed away from all men. i had panic attacks when a man tried to talk to me or when a man would call me pretty. i wanted nothing to do with men and accepted after this man that i would never be in a relationship again.

exactly a year after my breakup with narcissist dude, i ran into Matt. i was 25 at the time and he was 26, and it was instantly love at first sight. what’s crazy is i first met Matt when i was 15 and i had a huge crush on him at first, but then we lost contact after a year and i totally forgot this dude existed. then we ran into eachother, and instantly it felt like i found my person. i couldn’t explain it, i still can’t explain it, but i was with my friend when i ran into him and i looked at her and i remember saying “i now understand when people say when you know, you know.” that’s how certain i was he was my person, and as delusional as this next sentiment sounds, sometimes i still think hes my person.

its delusional because nothing ever happened between us. when we ran into eachother, we talked for 3 hours straight and our energy just connected. then we followed eachother on instagram, nothing happened after that but then a few months later, we hung out and again, our energy was so strong. we hung out will 1am and he was just telling me stories and making so many jokes. i have never laughed as hard as i have with him and the way we were both looking at eachother, it just felt like we were connected. now here is where it gets tricky…. i don’t want to get too much into the details but basically Matt has his own company and had a project he was working on that i had a lot of experience in and i offered to help with the project. so we worked together for 8 months. the 8 months we worked together was filled with teasing, long hangouts, late night phone calls lasting 4 hours, and vulnerable moments. it felt like anything but being coworkers or friends. we told eachother things we’ve never told anyone and achieved an emotional vulnerability we’ve never reached with anyone else. i had more of an emotional connection with Matt in 4 months than i did with narcissist dude in 4 years.

long story short, and surprisingly, nothing ever happened between Matt and I. we had this huge emotional connection but it never became anything more. i waited to see if he would say anything and when he didn’t, i basically asked him what were we. he said that we were friends who worked really well together, and that absolutely shattered my heart. something that’s important to share is that both of our attachment styles are fearful avoidants. so when he said that, i kinda just ghosted him and he had no idea why. after working through my feelings, i texted him and we became friends again. i made up a lie of why i had ghosted him and he questioned it a little but then we moved on. this time i set a lot of boundaries, but our connection is so strong, we started falling back into old routines. i fell deeper in love than i was before and i couldn’t handle it anymore. so instead of telling him “hey im in love with you, do you want to give this a try?” i did the most fearful avoidant shit and told him i can’t talk to him anymore because i started dating someone else. and i felt a hurt in his voice when i said that, and i was hoping for every fiber in my body for him to say “hey don’t date anyone else we should give this a try!” but instead he let me go. i could tell he didn’t want to let me go, but he did. and yeah that was 100% my fault, but that also shattered my heart that he didn’t fight for me. but i couldn’t risk getting rejected again so i couldn’t say something and instead was childish and tested him to see if he’d fight for me. i have adhd so my RSD is really bad and he also has really bad RSD so idk what i was expecting because even if he did fall for me, he would’ve never said anything because of his RSD. so i fucked up, i know i did.

so here i am, 10 months after this exchange, and not a day has gone by where i haven’t thought of him. i am still so in love with him. i have never felt this way about anyone. it has always been easy for me to get infatuated with a guy. when i was dating narcissist guy, we broke up 3 times within the 4 years and each time i became infatuated with a different guy. im a huge flirt so it’s always been easy for me to catch feelings, but i haven’t been able to think or feel for a different guy for 2 years. i still feel attached to Matt that random flirting with men doesn’t please me the way it did before i met him.

the worst part of all of this, is that no one in my life knows this. all my friends think i only had a crush on Matt, i never told them i fell in love. they don’t even know we became friends again the second time around. they don’t know im still in love with him and they don’t know all i do is think about him. two months ago i started talking to this different guy, and he’s great. he matches me really well and we get along really well, but he just isn’t as funny as Matt and he doesn’t challenge me the way Matt did. for two months i tried very hard to move on from Matt and commit to this guy because he really is great, but he’s just not Matt. i’m ending it today with him because it’s not fair to him that my heart belongs to someone else.

so that’s my confession, i am in love with a man who probably doesn’t even think about me anymore. a man who probably never felt even half of what i felt. a man who is probably living his life while the memory of him is still so insanely stuck in my mind and soul and know one knows. so reddit, thank you for listening to my pathetic secret. the good thing is after talking to this last guy for two months, it did help me move on a little from Matt. he doesn’t consume my mind and soul as much as he did before, and i do see the light at the end of the tunnel. and i do think i can love someone else, but i don’t think i will ever fall in love with anyone as much as i did with Matt. it’s true, you never forget your first love, but if i can’t have my first love, i hope i am able to find a second. i know im not ready to look right now, but i feel more ready than i was 2 months ago. and i feel like 2 months from today, i will be even more ready. i’m hoping to start dating again by the end of the year, really don’t want to reach the 3 year mark of not being able to move on…

I turn 30 soon. I am coming to terms with my mediocrity. I am not good at a single thing. A single thing. I did my master's in Europe hoping to settle down, but now I have been unemployed for a year, and I tanked my wife and family's money away. They are supportive but are surely disappointed in me. I don't know what I will do with my life. I have all these ideas but no drive to do them. I just sit there consciously wasting my life away. I dont want pity. I don't even want consolation. I just don't know my path in life. I am so lost, and I just need to know how to start over. Every day I try to escape the feeling like I am so fucked and its starting to weigh on me. My dad has cancer and the life my wife wants for us seems to be a life that I don't want. I just feel horrible all the time. This was not how my life was supposed to go. How do I come to terms with this?

I (26m) have a friend (28f) I was close with. She told me she met someone, that she told him about me and that she said we weren't intimate but we were close. I encouraged her to go for it. That I was happy for her, I gave my blessing.

But then total radio silence...

Idk what happened.