It's like I never interact with anything sentient so I think that other things are sentient.

This is just a little cope post, but it's true.

Half the people I know through work or mutual friends are going through this. These come with stories about how badly one party treated the other over the years. Just awful stuff you'd think no one should ever put up with. Of course the stories are biased so I only hear half the awfulness. These are people who spent ~10 years in a life they started to hate at some point. Now they're separating and leading expensive battles over money and assets. Obviously, the worst part is how the kids are forced to witness their parents' relationship crumble, their parents reduced to eternally bitter hate-squabbles with the other. And they will continue to be scarred as they are forced to travel back and forth between two parents who likely constantly attempt to turn the kid(s) against the other.

So half the people my age I know are uprooting their lives, entering a new chaotic and emotionally destructive phase of their lives, and destroying whatever positive and optimistic impressions about adulthood their kids might have had. And none of them ever thought it would turn out like that ~10 years ago when they made their choices. How bad must their lives have been to willingly go through this? How much worse will it get from here?

The bit of cope here is that my modest yet comfy existence seems like a blessing in comparison. I can just have a quiet relaxed evening tonight without such things weighing heavily on my mind and conscience.

I'm aware this kind of topic has been made a bunch of times already. So let's not even talk about meeting people in real life. If we could do that some of us probably wouldn't even be here.

What baffles me even more is how can people meet online? Like not even dating apps. For example reddit even.
How is this possible? How is one supposed to be the one person that is the lucky one out of hundred dms that every woman on here surely gets when they post in one of the dating subs.

There's one for FA's as well but its no different than anywhere else. I don't know how to 'stand out' or even how this is supposed to be possible.
My god with dating apps i can at least give fault to my pictures but it seems impossible to even get a text back nowadays.

How are people that aren't blessed with a good social life and good genetics ever supposed to meet someone? I don't understand this stupid life at all.

Teenage love and relationships even with friends has to be one of the most formative things out there, I entered my 20s without it and kept deluding myself that even if I started later I could have still made up for that time, for the things I wanted to do as a kid. Kept telling myself maybe with a woman who was also not much experienced in relationships, so could have been goofballs togheter when trying to do normal relationship stuff, like being anxious to go out togheter, small cringe acts of showing love and stuff like that.

But slowly, reaching the 30s it became clear to me those are in fact delusions, I'm a grown adult, I'm balding, I've lived with depression my whole life and my smiles look weird and eery so in photos I just stopped trying to force a smile to not ruin them. My whole personality is fucked, the closest friends I have tell me I look like an alien that's trying to not get discovered by the humans. Even if I were to start a relationship now I would be just a kid with it, no clue how to interact in those situations, but I want to be the bigger person in a relationship, I want to be the one to guide/help the woman, but I'm still someone that craves all the stupid things of a teen relationship, walking back to school togheter, studing togheter, going to an amusement park togheter, but mostly of all, worring about stupid relationship stuff togheter, like when you get asked "would you still love me if I was a worm" and all that stupid stuff, grown ups don't do that.

So just wanted to vent that's all just lost, at this point I have accepted that's a part of life I never experienced and that there is no way to make up for it, I higly doubt I'll start a love life for the rest of my life, but even if I do there's no making up for those experiences. What is life for people like us? Study when young, work afterwards, then just rot away if we make it to an old age. What's even the point, where is the fun part? I want to say something like "had I know this was my future I would have stopped studing and became a delinquent, at least would have had fun robbing and getting into fights all the time" but I know full well that's not something I can do, I don't want to rob anyone nor get into fights, my life will be filled with nothing but delusions, that's the fate of the majority of people like us I think.

I was feeling desperate and lonely, actually I have been feeling that my whole life but lately it got worse. I hadn't been on a date in 4 years, despite trying.
I had worked really hard on my dating pictures and it helped because I started getting matches. I don't know how to say this but she was heavier than in her pictures. I would say obese. But I thought maybe we could hit it off or at the very least I would have a new friend.

So I went on a date with a woman I met on a dating app. We decided to go to the museum. Right off the bat she was telling me how she had to go early because her friend is getting married and she's the bridesmaid. She actually mentioned this 4 different times. During the date I tried to get her to talk as we walked and checked out the dinosaur exhibit. Her vibe was ever so slightly arrogant and uppity I would say. I just finished my degree and got a part time job. But she wasn't impressed by any of that. I could tell that she thought I was beneath her because of my current job. I remember cracking a few jokes some of them made her smile. I asked about her hobbies and got a lukewarm response. At some point I remember I got tired of doing all of the talking and went into shut down mode but that was after the 4th time she mentioned she had to leave soon. I also saw her checking out her watch. The whole date could be summarized in one word "awkward".

At the end of the date I said this was nice, to that she just responded with "bye".
No contact info was exchanged. She just turned around and walked away. The date ended as awkwardly as it started. I remember just walking thinking how other people did it? Normally events like this would make me really depressed but I was more bored than anything.

Completely mentally and physically disabled. Suffering and suffocating 100% alone. There is no love for a poor and disabled man from any woman. I am like this disgusting creature now. I cant even look in the mirror anymore..no job, no car, no pride..

Well my friend would not want me to post this but it doesn't make a difference because I wouldn't lie about it anyways, I cannot tell a lie. I am posting it because I am trying to process it and get it off my chest and other subs would be mean and hate me

I made a post here about how I met someone which is true but he told me he was 19, yesterday he told me he lied about his age and is 17 and will be 18 in December. And I know he's telling the truth this time because I saw his ID and other papers. Actually he showed me his ID before we met in real life but I didn't check the date of birth, I just looked at the picture and name because I took his age at face value. Actually he looks mid 20s, AI said he looks 27. Also he works full time so he seemed like an adult

Apparently here in Turkey they won't prosecute unless the "victim" complains, so a third party can't do anything, I have met his parents and brother and they are fine with me, I mean I don't know much Turkish but they were friendly. The thing is if he reported me I wouldn't sit there and lie about it, I don't believe in lying and it's weird to deny something instead of taking responsibility for things that you did

Last time I posted here I hadn't slept w him because he said we should wait for marriage but I did later because I was just curious, because in the past some people sort of made me have sex with them or pressured me and I guess I just was curious if it would be any different if the person loved me. It's still not really my thing but it's ok. My point is if he complained I would not sit there and lie, even though one of my friend's mums said I should deny it, it would be wrong to lie. She also said I should leave the country w/o telling him bc I can be arrested at the airport lol

My other friend also told me that I should keep the videos of him saying he loves me and wants to marry me and show it to the law if needed lol

But yeah I wouldn't lie about it, like hopefully he won't report me or any weird stuff, the only time I would lie is if there was a risk of being tortured in jail but I think that's only countries like North Korea (not saying that in a racist way, I saw on youtube some people that escaped mentioned torture)

I guess I'm confused about the ethics of it, on the one hand teenagers do date and have relationships, and in relationships people have sex, but I guess it's young to have sex, I wasn't thinking about sex at that age (or really at any age, it's not really very interesting for me), and I wrote this post to process it. And I'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop in case he reports me, like I'm not terrified, but just like curious what happens I guess

I see posts here pretty often of course from older people with tales of warning to try and do anything to avoid their fate as a 40+ or 50+ FA's.

I have nothing new or unique to say, but everything that is realistic seems like a non-starter for me.

I don't get many matches at all on online dating, I know some guys get none. But the few matches I do get don't lead to anything when the match is based on similar below average looks, and I don't actually have anything in common with who I matched with. The even bigger problem is that most matches who have any physical appeal at all will put zero effort in responding to me until they just stop replying at all. This has happened to me so many times over the past 10 years I have been on and off apps.

Meeting a partner IRL? LOL. I used to sometimes go to friends' parties in the city, but it could never work out for me with girls I talked to because I don't live in the city, and it makes zero sense for me to say "hey, we should hang out, let me drive an hour next week so I can see you a 2nd time." And living in the city is not a real option for me, it would destroy my mental health.

How else would I meet women IRL? Retail workers/cashiers I interact with? I couldn't go back there after I got rejected and I also understand not wanting to be asked out when you're just trying to work.

Going to a bar? I don't drink because I hate it, I don't have the friend group to go with or have a "wingman" to team up with, and I couldn't accept a public rejection and then just keep trying. I can't handle that.

Joining a club or some sort of class? I would not want to return to it if I was rejected by a woman who who also attends. I could be actually into the activity, and would have to just stop going if I got rejected by someone there. Not to mention meeting a single girl of a similar age in the first place in a class or group sport is already far from guaranteed.

Coworkers? Job and possibly career suicide.

Literally everyone I know around my age who has/has had relationships met their partner either originally in highschool, college, or through dating apps. Nothing organic after college.

What else do I do? I feel at a turning point and things aren't getting better for me. Meeting a girl who is mutually interested in dating me feels impossible. I don't feel a lot of regret in how I handled things before, it was always hard for me so I don't beat myself up over any failings, I simply didn't have whatever was needed. But I need to try something more if I can before it's too late.

How tf do people cheat? I can’t get even one girl to like me. How the hell would someone be able to get two?! That is a world that seems extremely foreign to me.

For the longest time I always had the belief that there's gotta be plenty of people like me out there... You know, just haven't found the right person yet...

Nah. They're all following the same damn script. Nobody is out there waiting for someone "great". Most of them are settling for "good enough", just so they don't end up alone.

I personally couldn't do it. But it makes sense from a pragmatic perspective.

I like certain aspects of myself and detest others. I'm generally a decent person who doesn't go out of their way to upset people - but that's the only positive. I suppose I'm also genuinely not bitter towards people who are able to have the things they want in life - given how many people let it eat them up inside, I guess I'm proud of the fact I don't.

I've had many, many opportunities to make something of my life and I've always let it slip through my fingers due to anxiety and, basically, cowardice. I'm also deeply unhappy with the way I look as I have put on substantial amounts of weight and my food addiction is kicking my ass. I have no hobbies or interests, and I'm certainly not passionate about anything. Finally due to being alone for so long I also am stuck in a place where mentally I feel like a teenager yet I'm in my 40s.

No, not really.

Just some incredibly asinine advice from normies.

The only way to make sure you get a girlfriend is to become rich or become a drug dealer.

I arrived an hour late because I had to work overtime and by then the house was full, festive and hedonistic. I was going to use one of the bathrooms but some couple was having sex in there, the girl's moan was loud and stopped me before I could even knock. I heard they spent a lot of time in there too, maybe more than half an hour.

The house was big and had three bathrooms so I did not have to wait for them to finish, but I am repulsed by the idea of people shamelessly having sex at a house party with dozens of guests present and holding up the bathroom as a result.

Of course I do feel envious of people with partners willing to have sex with them at the wrong place at the wrong time, but it is really poor behaviour too when there's like 40 people at a party and only a few bathrooms. Couldn't they have waited until they got home? My god.

I'm not sure if I should post this but I've been on the FA subs for more than 10 years, have had different usernames through the years but I made this one recently

I'm 37f and had been looking for someone since my teens. I don't think I look good and I am socially challenged and told I come off as intense and desperate

When I was 30 I started on dating apps but they usually scared me away quickly because I would get sexual messages there rather than someone wanting to go on a date. I also had some bad experiences of people seeing my desperation and gullibility and saying they liked me only to try to get money from me and then stop talking when I refused. That is the short version but I've gotten into unsafe and questionable situations due to people trying to exploit my loneliness

On July 6 I messaged a guy and begged him to help me with his language because I was on the verge of giving up. I wasn't looking for a teacher but for someone to say "nice" "good job" and to show what I was studying. However we ended up talking every day on whatsapp (texting) from 13 to 1 am. He said he wanted to meet me someday and that he loves me so I flew to his country on July 11 because I thought it would be a cool surprise

I knew where he worked because he had sent live location so I went there and saw him and Murat (his coworker) washing a car and I shook his hand. He was really shocked. Before I saw him I was worried he might beat me up if he was trolling me and I was texting my friend that I was scared of being beaten up but he didn't beat me up

After that we have been meeting every day. He works 6 days a week 20-8 am washing cars/parking lot and sleeps until 13, he doesn't sleep much. Usually I try to get stuff done before he wakes up, then when he wakes up we meet until he goes to work unless I have work. I work online 8 hours a week. We text each other until I go to sleep unless he is washing a car. He writes with a translator on whatsapp but he talks in English in real life and sometimes with a translator

When we meet we go to the park cafe or the sea. I don't like going too far

We haven't had sex since he comes from a Muslim background and was thinking of waiting til marriage

Yesterday (July 17) he proposed getting tattoos of each other's names and I agreed. We were really hyped and excited

He is 19 and my parents find it a bit odd and say he could be my son but the point is I didn't have the chance to have a husband and kids. I heard that people change a lot when they get older but at least I will have experienced this stuff once so if this ends at least I will have seen what it was like

I guess I decided to post here just to show that it is possible. Not that there is ever a guarantee. I went many years with nothing and I'm sure I would have done so the rest of my life if I hadn't met this person, but my point is it is possible so it might happen or might not happen. Hope that makes sense and encourages some of you to keep looking just in case your fortune changes

Any plans this weekend?

I'm just going to a church bazaar. Probably going to eat dinner there and just chill out.

I've been getting into N64 Games again. Spent the night playing Madden 2002 and WWF No Mercy. Had so much fun.

Most people don’t have to make friends, friends just happen to them. Even if you’re socially retarded there will still be a group that will include you. And also don’t need to build social skills as well, because they’re normal enough to function socially.

Think of it this way, no normie usually initiates and asks someone to get coffee or makes them feel welcome, they get automatically included because the group thinks they’re worth including. The main explanation of not having social circle is you’re ugly or just neurodivergent. People don’t want to hear that looks can affect friendship but realize that even outcast groups have standards, and if you’re ugly enough even the outcasts don’t want you

I don't do this often, but for some reason tonight I was thinking back nostalgically to my student days in the late 80's in the UK (I'm in my middle 50's now). I thought of all the improvements my current living environment (a one bedroom rented apartment) has over my dorm room, yet I was vastly happier then, even though I had few friends and never a girlfriend.

Back then: As a British person we find the US idea of dorm room-mates strange, so I did have a room to myself, but it was tiny. A single bed, a desk, a wardrobe, a sink. I bought a ghetto blaster and had maybe 15 albums on cassette. No TV in my room nor en-suite bathroom. There were 2 toilets, 2 showers and 2 baths and a kitchen all shared between 16 students. I was deeply engrossed in my three chunky first-year (freshman) textbooks and had brought maybe 6 fiction paperbacks from home. A shared laundry room on the ground floor which used up a lot of coins.

2026: My own one bedroom apartment with a big double bed to myself. My own combo washer/ dryer in the apartment. A 43 inch TV, a Blu Ray player, an Amazon Fire Stick with YouTube Premium and sports channels. My own toilet so if I am in a rush I don't need to wait a minute. My own shower so I could shower any time I wanted. A mini-PC and monitor, a smartphone, a Nespresso-compatible coffee machine. A whole fridge/ freezer to myself not a small lockable metal drawer in a big shared fridge.

2026 living environment is streets ahead on every score, including some advancements like the Internet and AI that 1980's me couldn't have dreamed of. Yet I promise you on a day to day level I was very much happier back then.

What are some of the reasons for the difference in happiness back then? For one, it was my first year living away from home, so just choosing what to cook for dinner and when to go to bed was a big novelty. Second, I was fascinated by one of my subjects, psychology, even though I ended up not majoring in it. I had the focus to read a textbook for 90 minutes with no problem and enjoy it. I made my dinner in the shared kitchen just slightly after the rush hour but ther would still be others there and although we weren't close they at least tolerated me and would either talk to me or I would hear the general group conversation. Both then and now I was very shy and I didn't go on a single date all through college, but every now and then one of the more sociable people in the kitchen would knock on everyone's door and ask if we wanted to join the kitchen group for a drink in the student union (18 is the drinking age in the UK, every University has a bar called the union selling beers much cheaper than a typical commercial one). I would say I went with the group to the bar maybe 12 times that year and once we even all went ice skating which I really enjoyed. It might sound stupid but just talking platonically with the female co-eds on those kitchen bar nights gave me innocent happiness.

Mostly importantly, at that young age despite my shyness I had hope that, like most of my peers, once I graduated I would eventually get a reasonably-paying office job and get married.

And now? A quote by Jim Rohn sums it up best. "Better to live in a tent on the beach, and have a love affair, than to live in a mansion by yourself". Years upon years without love or in-person friendship have left me chronically depressed and I have no enthusiasm for former copes like DVD's. I have lots of books, nearly all unread. I hate how much worse I look now I am middle aged and don't want to interact with women at all out of shame. All these technology advances and living environment improvements are no compensation at all.

Why am I saying all this? First, in commiseration with other over-40's FA's who know their chance has passed - maybe you can relate and want to comment? You are very much not the only one in this boat and I believe with the current "battle of the sexes" many more men will be in this position. Secondly, if you are younger and reading this, either slightly over or slightly under 30, please let my life be of some use to you as a warning if it can't be an example. The window of opportunity gets very much more difficult past age 35. If you think you have any realistic shot to find a decent partner, these next five years that should be your major focus in life as after that it will be too late. After your bills for the essentials, budget 20% of your discretionary income into a fund for going to meets, going on dates if possible, buying affordable but smart-casual clothes. Please don't waste your prime year when you look as good as you ever will, sat in sweatpants and a hoody playing video games.

I was in line at a burger joint and was reading the menu when a young, attractive girl got in line behind me. I didn't really notice until it was my turn to order. I was reading the menu trying to decide because of dietary restrictions. Anyway, the cashier was staring at the girl behind me. It took me a couple of minutes to read all of the ingredients. Anyway, the girl got fed up and walked out. I could tell that the cashier was pissed. He was clearly looking forward to talking to her.

He had this really irritated look and spoke in a very disrespectful tone asking if I knew what I wanted. I told him that I changed my mind and left for the cafe down the street. As I walked out he continued to glare at me menacingly.

I know these places don't pay very much, but you should still have the decency to do your job. It ended up being a good call, because the employees at the cafe where very polite and considerate. I ended up tipping for over the counter service, which I rarely do.

I literally feel my chest tightening and my breath getting short. I cannot even have coworkers. I just hate myself and the weight of my void past.

I just can't connect with them. I go in r4r sub or foreveralonedating. I cannot connect with anyone's posts. It's all seems so fake. The pictures everyone posts of them doing things like rockclimbing or cycling. Paragraphs of them trying to express their personalities or personal interests or trying to come off as appealing or upbeat. Or even just selfies. I cant anticipate anyone liking me, and only register the face of a stranger.

I feel so disconnected from people in the outside world for too long that I cannot relate to any of it.

I've thought about my own reasons. 33M, never had any sort of relationship, date, or anything. Never got any attention from women. In school I had no real friends. My report cards always said I was quiet, lacked participation but was hard working, intelligent and always completed assignments on time. My marks were in the B to A range.

In high school, I got diagnosed with Asperger's, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder, and Social Anxiety. This came about from numerous visits to the local ER for chest pain, shortness of breath, palpitations, dizziness and other things where all my tests kept coming back normal. After maybe the 8th visit or so in the span of a short time (I think maybe just over a month) I was referred to a psychiatrist at the psychiatric wing of the hospital, where I was interviewed and assessed over several appointments and diagnosed.

In University, I just went to lectures and went straight home after. I never socialized with anyone. It's not that I didn't want to, but even just being in the lecture hall and on campus with so many people was overwhelming. Due to my disabilities and official diagnosis, I was allowed to take exams and tests in a very small group and given extra time. I got my degree but never worked. I applied for disability after graduation and have been on it for a little over 10 years. I still live with my mom.

I rarely go anywhere aside from necessary shopping. Recently, I was diagnosed with POTS as well after a positive Tilt Table Test. Now doctors are investigating me for connective tissue disease as well. I never wanted to take any meds but a few months ago I agreed to go on beta blockers and pregabalin. My physical symptoms like palpitations, rapid heartbeat etc.. are mostly gone but I feel a lot of psychological anxiety when I'm out and still feel overwhelmed by crowds, lights or noise.

I'm also extremely quiet and have severe hearing loss. For example, if I sometimes have to approach a store employee and ask where something is they often don't even hear or notice I am talking to them.

Looks wise I think I am alright. I don't consider myself "ugly" but I don't think I'm anything special either. I have tried online dating with no luck.

It's remarkable to me that people who are constantly hallucinating, are literally psychotic, have multiple personalities etc have friends and go on dates and get married. Just goes to show that the worst thing you can be isn't a sociopath, it's FA.

I just had the idea of hallucinating a girlfriend. Hallucinations feel just as real as reality. For someone like me that can't get a real girlfriend, the next best thing would be a fake girlfriend that feels as real as a girlfriend.

But is there any way to control what you hallucinate? Has anyone attempted this or investigated it before?

31m virgin, to fill the emptiness I bought tons of DVDs, cologne, and clothes. Didn’t go into debt or anything, but damn it just feels so wasteful.

Guess it’s better than using food or drugs to cope but still…My life feels pointless.

This all started last fall when I had a massive depressive episode, the part in charge of self control broke in my brain.

But alas, can’t really do it anymore since I got fired earlier this spring.

Wish there was some space or sub to go to, with people who are trying to get out of FA and trying to make the changes in their life. Because I really dont feel like I need to be brought down right now.

I've been going through something since atleast June 29th, maybe a couple of days before.
I cant seem to get to a place to think anything is worth it.