I (father) have been in a custody battle for a year now. It's gotten expensive to this point but I am finally starting to see some dividends.

The mom was able to keep custody at the first temporary hearing, due to status quo. I did not agree with it due to how she was able to obtain the status quo in the first place (forced relocation of the child, among other things) but I followed the order. Since then, a lot has changed including another major relocation on her part. I will spare the details on that but lets just say that it was not a valid enough reason to completely uproot a child.

Fast forward to today and there was another temp hearing to decide on who our child will be living with for the school year, along with how major decisions would be made. Since the status quo was severely compromised, the judge ruled in our favor. The GAL report played a huge part, along with persistent work from my attorney to get everything done in a short timeframe.

Obviously, the mother was not happy about it and has already tried to start an argument via text (did not engage). I don't expect things to be completely pleasant this school year but I do believe our child will benefit from both parents showing him positive support instead of focusing on each other. Hopefully, we will get there.

I have mediation coming up soon, and obviously trial if we get there. This is surely not over but I am feeling more confident today than a month or so ago, that's for sure. Almost there.

I am curious to read about the experiences of others, where things seemed bleak in your case at the start but the outlook began to change towards the end. Thanks!

my coparent and i have been doing the following:

birth-18 months - no agreement, we lived together, coparent worked 60 hour weeks, i was doing everything parenting wise

18 months- age 3- living in separate states he had tie breaker as he threatened me he would ruin my life if i did not let him have it

3-5 - living in the same state doing 50/50, recently took me to court after he signed up for kindergarten when we did not agree, skipping mediation. stopped prior to trial, the judge and him and i had a verbal agreement to remove tie breaker and let him have the school

im worn out. im coparenting with an abuser. he's constantly telling me i am not safe, insinuating im doing something wrong. he up and moved, failed to tell me, made our 4 year old tell me, and continues to do stuff like this with 0 consequences. i have counsel, two different lawyers, and neither one got much done and they both have said i have to just deal with him.

my choice is i'd rather not deal with him. he picked the school. I cannot drive 45 minutes one way to get my kid to his school on time, argue about every little thing, get threatened that im 'heavily medicaited' and 'schizophrenic' and no one does ANYTHING about it. so im asking my lawyer to go from 50/50 to every other weekend. im tired. he thinks he can do NO wrong, i wish it didnt have to be this way, but he also told me if i ever spoke to certain people he knows, he would press charges against me. i cannot prove this, it was verbal, but im very threatened. he also said if i moved near him, im stalking him. i believe his threats, he has pressed charges against me. and even if they are false, they impact me. i wish a police officer would do something, it feels very criminal, but every lawyer i go to says well it's sooooo wrong but we wont do anything about it. 'just dont respond'

im at the point where i'd rather walk away from my kid and at least wont be at the hands of an ABUSER that the court considers a 50/50 dad or deserving of MORE. he punched a wall where my head should belong, took the child out of state and hid her for a week and refused to return her prior to an agreement! there's no solution!

i guess im looking for someone to say yes it is ok if you walk away, i would, this is horrible, your life is in shambles, i would have left sooner. is parenting and killing myself worth this? is sacrfiicing my job, my reputation, all of my finances, my friends and family, my future, is losing it all worth it to see my kid and not be able to have any say in her life? i already at 50/50 custody am not allowed to do anything and am told im less than a human being.

im exhausted.

i can elaborate on my OWN charges but it is simply the result of being bullied and bullied and bullied and bullied and bullied and bullied and NO ONE helping and NO solution until I finally verbally exploded and again, only i suffered consequences. Had i gone to trial over my own i believe these would have been dismissed but again, i was very petrified from constant threats by him, allusions ("enjoy time with our daughter now...") type statements, and other vague creepy scary things that NO ONE deserves to live with, and you, me, and most of the united states would eventually react the same way I did.

I did try to file DV charges and his lawyer took me into the hallway prior to me speaking to the judge and threatened me.

it sounds absolutely fake, but this is literally my life. i want out of it its crazy its too much. There's much more, but no one has time to read it all.

My partner and I have been together for two years. I have two children (12f and 7m) that I co-parent with my sons dad (he has raised my daughter since she was a toddler) where I have them essentially full time and he is on a mostly every other weekend basis for timesharing, he has them as much as possible during school breaks, but he does assist with all transportation including school drop off/pick up and pays weekly per our own agreement + we split all additional costs (school clothes/supplies, fundraisers/field trips, extracurriculars, haircuts, just anything extra).

My partner has 3 children, the oldest is almost 18 and irrelevant to this situation, but his younger two are 14f and 10m shared with his ex that he has been split from for 8+ years. He has primarily had his children full time with the exception of less than a year with his son in 2022 and a few years with his daughter where she also spent that time with mom for less than a year in 2022, a year with his family, and a year back with mom before she came to live with us (July 2025 - so it’s been a full year now). Their mom faced an eviction so that is why he son came back to live with him and back with him since & why his daughter went with family for a year as he was working on stabilizing his housing situation (at the time lived with male friends).

My partner and his son moved in with me a few months into the relationship (October 2024). I own my home (paying mortgage) that accommodates all of us comfortably and I am the breadwinner at this time, although he does work and is in school currently. I am also due in one month with our first child together. I wanted to provide all of this context before moving onto the issue at hand.

My partner and his ex do not have a formal or their own agreement regarding financial assistance or otherwise. She has worked the same job for many years now so she is not unstable with employment, she has filed both children on taxes every year but finally gave $1,000 each year the last two years despite getting full credits for both children. Despite having stable income and receiving taxes, she hasn’t had stable housing (lived with family) or transportation (car got repoed over a year ago). She was given (or allowed to borrow, we’re unsure) a vehicle about two months ago but still doesn’t help with transportation.

Up until last July, we got step daughter every other weekend or as often as she wanted and on the opposite weekends step son would go over there to be with their mom. We did all of the transportation to/from. For the 2024-2025 school year, my step daughter did not have adequate clothing for school and was made fun of (we found this out late into the year and did take her shopping) and her hair wasn’t taken care of regularly either. At that time, they essentially agreed to “take care of the one you have full time” which was odd but understandable.

Now that we’ve had both children full time for a year, she does not help financially, has done step daughters hair maybe 5-6x, didn’t help with school shopping at all last school year and agreed to provide for step daughter this year but said she’ll be taking her shopping and doing her hair the first day of school due to finances but we’re nervous if it’ll even happen and we’ll be left scrambling.. she doesn’t do Christmas, didn’t do anything for step sons birthday, and took step daughter for a fun weekend for her birthday but it was to meet her boyfriend out of town (no gifts or anything - just outings which is fine but still just painting the picture). She has came all the way to our house for a drop off or pick up less than 5x over the last year, otherwise we are driving 30mins each way (two hours travel time every time she gets them).

My partner and I argue about this frequently as he says we got it and don’t need her but I refuse to see it this way. I don’t care how much money we make or if we hit the lottery tomorrow, I see it as this woman has an obligation to care for her children and doesn’t except for the 4 days a month she has them (which she usually ends up working those weekends and ironically weekends she doesn’t then she’s out of town with her boyfriend, he doesn’t live locally). Our weekends usually line up together where those weekends for us are child free but our Fridays involve drop off and then we have to plan our Sunday accordingly to pick his children up at a reasonable time (if she would do drop off, they could be home without us for a short time if we do have plans, such as a little getaway or late dinner, as we have an adult family member that lives in the home that’s usually here and doesn’t mind).

My co parent is open to putting my children in extracurriculars (gymnastics or dance for my daughter and football or soccer for my son) which we would split evenly but his children have expressed wanting to do something too and we just can’t afford full cost plus all transportation. I’ve learned to do basic styles so I can keep step daughters hair done and wanting to learn more but their mom can do hair and still doesn’t do it at least once a month, plus when she does she has us purchase everything needed to do it. These are just some examples of how the children are impacted and how the resentment has grown on my end. My partner feels at times it’s against his children but it’s purely for their mom as it would be so helpful if she just did her part. Not only financially but for our time and the children’s benefit.

My partner feels that they have helped each other when needed over the years, there’s been many times she’s picked up his slack as well and that it feels wrong to tell her she needs to pick up the slack now while she’s “not stable” but I feel she’s had 2 full tax returns, works full time, has had family help with her living situation, and can somehow get to see her boyfriend that lives 1.5-2hr away twice a month… she can help provide for her children and assist with transportation (especially now that she has a car to use - her recent excuses are no gas money to come this far). I’m at the point I don’t care what her situation is or the details, she needs to do her part or it’ll continue to drive a wedge between my partner and I. He has talked to her twice this year so far, once about starting to help (she didn’t) and about school shopping for step daughter (she says she is but we will see).. I just think it needs to be a firm conversation about expectations and that child support will be established if they can’t settle on or she commit to an agreement. Any advice on how to handle this with my partner? Or just what to do moving forward? It’s exhausting and I really can’t grasp how this woman doesn’t want to provide or feel the need to.

I'm looking for some honest advice from people who've been through custody cases, especially in Ohio.

I currently have shared parenting of my 10-year-old daughter, but I've been seriously considering filing for full custody. I don't want to put myself through a long court battle unless I actually have a reasonable case.

Some of the things that have me concerned:

My daughter started therapy because she was having suicidal thoughts. According to her therapist, a lot of it stems from the way she's treated and spoken to at her mom's house.

She's told me that when her mom gets angry, she'll say things like, "Go live with your dad then," "I don't know why I had kids," and "I don't know why I want you back at my house." Hearing your own child repeat those words is heartbreaking.

She also tells me that her mom's boyfriend screams at her until she's crying, and she's told me she's cried herself to sleep because of it.

Another issue is communication. If there's ever a problem involving our daughter, her mom almost never talks to me directly. Instead, she has her boyfriend contact me, even though we're the two parents and should be communicating with each other.

My daughter has also told me that her mom's boyfriend's grandparents told her to lie to me so they could send her to church camp without me knowing.

On my end, I'm the one who schedules and takes her to all of her appointments—therapy, doctor visits, dentist, everything. I stay involved in her education and make sure she's getting the care she needs.

I'm a 100% Permanent & Total disabled Air Force veteran, so I'm home and able to care for her full-time. I have a stable home and just want what's best for my daughter.

I know family courts usually don't take children away from a parent unless there's a significant reason, and I also know kids can sometimes exaggerate or misunderstand things. But hearing the same concerns over and over, along with what her therapist has documented, has me wondering if this is enough that a judge would seriously consider changing custody.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? If you were in my position, would you pursue full custody? I'd really appreciate honest opinions, even if you think my chances aren't great. I just want to do what's best for my little girl.

Mv ex wife and I live in different states. We have joint custody and our 4 vear old spends 6 weeks of summer custodv with me for which transportation is split so she is picking him up. She was set to pick him up at 10am when her flight landed. Skip to the day before, flight gets delaved and pick up time is now 7pm - I say okay, see you at 7pm! I added that if she needed me to keep him overnight or longer to let me know. Suddenly the afternoon prior her flight is again delayed and she won't arrive until 12AM! Immediatelv, I let her know that I can just keep him overnight so he gets a night's rest in his bed and bring him before his departing flight, at this airport the earliest flight out is around 5:30am. I felt it wasn't right to haul him around in the middle of the night to have him wait at the airport for his fliaht for hours. She demands that no I must bring him "at midnight" vet refuses to let me know what time his departing flight is or why 12am was a must as, per her, bv telling me her "next step" she would be sharing personal details. At this point, she's on her flight to arrive and I don't plan on waking our son in the middle of the night to bring him there without ust reasoning so I am awaiting her response at midnight landing. I'm opening, willing, and agreeable to a time later in the morning closer to the likely departure time. Am I wrong for this?

Hello,

I’m trying to figure out a possible custody arrangement. I travel out of state every other week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I’m looking for a schedule that would give me a full Monday through Thursday block to travel every other week. All the ones I look at do not give me any weekends that are free to take care of stuff around the house. I’ve looked at week on/week off which seems the best but our kids are 7 and 3 and that seems like a long time without the other parent. I’ve tried modifying 2-2-5-5 but that seems to never give me a free weekend. Maybe I’m looking at this wrong?

Let me know if anyone else is in this position and what you do.

Thanks!

I need some advice
Little back story my brother passed away a few years ago. He has three children. I have actively been apart of their lives since they were born. We spent holidays, every birthday, i would regularly babysit when asked throughout their lives. I also took them on a ten day vacation every summer for the past six years. Even after my brother passed i was regularly seeing the kids. This past November i had plans to pick up the kids and had a medical emergency and was unable to. I wasn’t able to contact sister in law until the next day. And she has not responded at all. I have reached out numerous times via text message and phone call.
So i guess my question is i know there are ‘grandparents rights/visitation’ but how can i, their aunt, request visitation? I feel as it is in the kids best interest that the kids stay connected to their father’s side.
If anymore info is needed i will gladly provide any info needed.

Also not sure if it matters or not but since my brother has passed away she has had more boyfriends than u can begin to count.

EDIT TO ADD
I have always had a relationship with her and maintained a neutral person between her and my brother.

I have made numerous attempts to explain the situation and what happened and she won’t respond.

So we have had her for about eight months now she got her. She was extremely skinny and she was only about 11 pounds for a two year-old only wearing 18 months old clothes now we finally got her up away. She’s outgrown two teas. She has so much more energy than what she used to like when we first got her she was barely moving, barely finally barely bike and now we can’t stop her from smiling stop her from playing she just has more anybody in the house outside the for dogs.
Like three months after we’ve had her on her bio, Dad Mom started questioning him on why he wasn’t here and why he was asking about her and stuff like that so then he asked to have her every other week and so he started doing that, but since he has been having her every other weekend, she comes home with rashes on her privates. There was one time that she came home with the big black eye and got three different stories on how it happened. He does not pay for anything you got a car seat because it was either he bought himself one or he had to pay us back for when he didn’t want to do either when we got her he didn’t have electricity or running water, and it was the coldest time of the month they live in a pretty crappy trailer to cause it was poorly insulated and we knew that trailer got extremely cold.
My husband And I have been wanting to try to get full custody right over so he has no right to tell us what we can and can’t do with her cause the one that’s been taking through doctors appointments making sure her shots are updated and we also plan on moving, but he’s trying to tell us that he doesn’t want us to move while we have her yet. He hasn’t done anything to prove that he’s doing better for her. He actually just recently had a really good pain job and then quit to go work at a job that his boyfriend thing wanted him go work so he ended up taking like almost a $10 pay cut because of what they wanted him to do.
And we’re just tired of fighting with him about getting us some money so even though we already bought everything she needs that we can recuperate some of that money but he refuses to do that. He refuses to help with anything. My parents have been the ones watching her even though he was supposed to find daycare so we could be able to drop her off at daycare.
We are just both over it and just want to make it where we are her parents instead of him being her parent especially with how she calls us mom and dad and he doesn’t call him anything in the way he acts he is an uncle not the father.

I’m a military officer in a 3.5 year marriage and have a 2.5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. For the past 1-2 years things have been bad for me and y wife but worse she been emotionally abusive to my son mainly.

When she’s mad she’s down the following:
She tells him she hates him and doesn’t want him if we divorce
Says he’s autistic (doctors have said he’s normal) and slow and retarded and delayed
She said if he was younger she would drop him off at the firestation

Earlier
She’s called our daughter a retard because she woke up a. Like times at night
She said she hates being a mom

I have 20 ish texts showing this all and have been taking notes like this example, for 6ish months.

05/16/2026
0850 just did 5k and son was being bad and crying a lot. Making told him “I hate you “
I said please don’t talk to him like that
1013 spouse frustrated with son being bad this morning and he touched her phone, she yelled “I hate you “ to him
I said don’t talk to him like that
1511 son wasn’t going to sleep for his nap time, I asked if she could try and check on him since he didn’t want to go to bed for me. Spouse said “No, if I go up there I’m going to beat the fuck out of him I hate him”

There has been nothing physical that I’ve seen and I give them both baths so. I would see

Advice??

I have my children every day of the week plus one weekend a month. Dad gets them 3 weekends a month. When we worked out the schedule it was before the kids were old enough for school and I didn’t really think much about how I would barely have fun time with them. That my time would be strictly business I handle everything from school, dentist, doctors, sports, friends literally anything you think of that occurs I handle and then one weekend a month I get to do as much fun adventure time with them as possible to try and build memories. I am lucky I get majority time with them, I tried to work out a new schedule with their dad last year to where we could do week on week off during summer time allowing more time for both of us. He unfortunately didn’t want to said that he wouldn’t be able to figure out childcare.. I’m just rambling trying to explain why we can’t do a different schedule during summers. The long story short is now I have 3 children with a new man. And I’m really struggling with how to balance fun adventures with all of them. Like how do you make sure to build memories with your new children without excluding the other children. I try to only ever do big adventures on my one weekend a month but now that my youngest are getting older as well I feel guilty even taking them to the zoo or beach without my older children. I feel like this is going to cause resentment if they see me doing all these fun things with them and only having to do school or appointments with me.

My brother was caught being unfaithful; had condoms and viagra in his bag.

In return my SIL brought a boyfriend home and spent the night with my nephew in the room. My brother caught her red handed but not like she cares. There were many things that went on and the were separated for the last two years. Same house different rooms. They don’t even speak to each other.

So, she’s claiming that he doesn’t care for his child doesn’t give any money to support him and that she does everything in regard to her son (not a lie). My brother doesn’t want to give her any money because he says she should be able to afford it since she has a partner and my nephew calls him dad now.

How is this gonna hold up in court? We can’t be bothered with the adults in this, we just want my nephew and want to have a life with him. She doesn’t allow us to see him anymore. We just miss the shit outta him and my mom is not getting any better health wise.

On my custody order we have Thursday nights we had spo which was Thursday 6p - 8p. Now that my son is older he gets Thursday when school is released until Friday morning when school is back in session but my son is too young for school. Would he drop off at my residence at whatever time the district says or does he drop off Friday at 6p?

For context: We share two kids, F(6) & M(7). We were together for almost 8 years, and have known each other for close to 20 years now. We broke up a year ago, he very hastily moved out, leaving myself and our children in the apartment we shared. He remarried after 3 months, having gotten together and moved in with her after like 2 weeks. Our children love his wife and call her “mama” (not my choice or decision). He had an ongoing court case for first degree sexual assault that happened back in 2021 (long story). He was let out on bond (not by me) and his stipulations were he could NOT be arrested again or he’d be taken into custody.
This past week at our child exchange, he was trying to prevent me from taking my son. It escalated to the point of me calling 911, but it resolved while I was on the phone with the dispatcher who informed me to that unless things got physical, this was a family matter and I should go to court first thing Monday morning and file for custody to get something in writing. We’d been operating on a verbal agreement over the last year, so I had no protections regarding physical custody. They told me take my kids and go home, file as soon as the courts open Monday.
Normally he takes them on Thursdays, and I had filed Monday but I didn’t want anyone to say I was keeping the kids from him, so I reached out Thursday afternoon to see he had plans to take the kids for his time and when was I picking them up, Sunday or Monday. He was very agreeable about me dropping them off to him Saturday this week instead, as I had some fun plans for them and wanted to keep them a couple extra days. We set it up so I’d be dropping them off Saturday afternoon and picking them up Monday morning.
Well, his wife called me Friday morning sobbing, letting me know that he had been drinking and assaulted her some time over night, and he had been arrested and was sitting in a holding cell waiting to be arraigned that morning. He was charged with 5-6 different misdemeanors including a strangulation/suffocation related charge. He is now in jail until sentencing or someone bails him out. His next hearing is August 12th. Our custody mediation was supposed to be August 14th.
All I can think about is how my kids last interaction w their dad was a very scary heated moment where he was preventing our son from leaving, locking our daughter out of his house and our son inside, and eventually pushing my son out the door telling him not to come back. And now he’s in jail, and they cannot speak to him or see him. I haven’t told them any of this as I don’t feel it’s appropriate for them to know. I have to coordinate with his wife to pick up their things at some point, I have to figure out how to navigate this road in a way that traumatizes them the least.
Luckily I have a long term partner who is very good to them and is a strong male role model for them. But it still really sucks knowing this is the reality I gave them. I don’t really know what I’m asking for, or what advice I need.

Soon to be ex wife is an extreme narcissist who continues to lie to the courts about everything she can. She had an emergency temp order put on me saying I was a drug addict. I passed a hair test to prove that wrong. I’ve been on restricted supervised visits only for months. Mediation failed as she only wants to move out of state (her family lives there) and won’t agree to anything else. I believe she’s been planning this for years. She refuses to even speak to me or co parent. I’ve been extremely involved since the day she served me. She is now claiming I am not interested and and absentee father because I didn’t go to a one of my infants well visit appointments during her time and I had to work. We are going to court now. What are the chances she wins going out of state? Kids are under 4. She’s claimed unfit, financial, job opportunity, everything you can imagine. GAL has recommended more time with the kids months ago and I have yet to have that. GAL said I’ve done everything right and more. Mediator has suggested a psych eval.
What are the chances a judge lets her move? Ive been begging to be part of their lives since she kicked me out.

TL;DR: Husband has partial custody (he is not primary) of 15yo daughter who is having serious issues. SD and her mom (who has primary custody) do not get along at all and it is only making everything worse. I'm wanting to know if my husband has any options to get SD out of her mom's house, at least temporarily. SD's mom is completely against it.

My husband (DH) and his ex-wife (BM) have split custody of their 15yo daughter (SD). They also have two sons but both are over 18 now.

BM has always been primary and DH has expanded standard - every Thursday and every other weekend during the school year. During the summer it is every other weekend and two 2-week periods. When they first went to court for custody during their divorce, BM was against DH having any custody at all. She did not want him to even get every other weekend unless he agreed to take on all of their marriage debt in the divorce (over $30k). This was the only way she would agree to expanded standard without more litigation. About 6+ years ago, DH filed for additional custody so he could take the kids to school on Monday after his weekends and pick them up from school on Fridays instead of from BM's house at 5pm. It wasn't much extra time, but it was worth it.

BM has always been difficult to co-parent with and has always tried to take as much of DH's time with the kids away from him as possible. Between scheduling her family's events and school events (she is a teacher and coach at SD's school), and encouraging the kids to see their friends on DH's weekends, it has been a struggle to see them over the years. This got worse as the kids got older and three years ago DH and I sold our farm and moved to BM's neighborhood so we could see the kids more. BM still makes it difficult, but being down the street from her house has helped in some ways.

BM and SD have always had a strained relationship. They are very different people and SD feels BM does not understand her. This has lead to a lot of fights between them over the years. SD calls me crying regularly, telling me about the fights they have gotten into. I have always tried to play Switzerland, and give SD a safe space to vent, while reminding her that BM loves her and wants what is best for her, even if it doesn't seem like it (and even if I don't really believe it myself). SD has said that she wants to live with DH and I, but BM won't allow it and won't even entertain the thought of SD spending more time here.

1.5 years ago, SD and BM were fighting non-stop, so DH and I spoke with a lawyer about getting 50/50 or primary. The lawyer said even with SD being willing to talk to the judge and all of the "evidence" we had, the chances of a judge changing the custody agreement were very slim and it "never happens in Texas". He convinced us that it was not worth the time and money to try.

SD was given an unrestricted iPhone when she was 11 and has had access to Instagram and SnapChat for years, long before DH and I thought she was emotionally mature enough. BM controls all of that but has never learned how to use parental controls, so SD ends up with unrestricted access to everything and no oversight by BM. We have asked BM to go through her phone multiple times, but she wouldn't. Since about December, DH and I noticed a significant change in SD. Things she used to care about deeply no longer mattered, she started dressing differently, and she was consumed by social media. SD cancelled plans she made with us, that she would have normally really looked forward to, avoiding coming to our house, and wouldn't respond to texts or phone calls for days, if at all.

Once school got out, BM let SD go feral. We have access to her location and noticed she was going to places she shouldn't be at, like her high school late at night, or riding in cars at 2am when she was supposed to be at BMs. She was spending the night at a different' friend's house every night, multiple nights in a row and some of them we had never heard of or met. SD's location would be turned off, suspiciously always between 11pm and 5am, and when we questioned SD, she said her phone died or she thought there was something wrong with the app. We told BM about our concerns and she blew it off stating "I know all of the kids she hangs out with because I'm a teacher at their school. They're good kids.", but we had a feeling SD was getting into trouble.

About 4 weeks into summer break, one of SD's friend's mom's reached out to me on Facebook. She had gone through her daughter's phone and found that her daughter and SD had been sneaking out and drinking. We confronted SD, she denied participating even though her friend's mom had evidence of SD partaking. DH and I did not believe SD, but BM did, so no consequences happened and she continued with her freedom. When SD was with us (which was rare during this time), we didn't allow her to go anywhere. About a week later, BM found a vape in SD's room. SD denied that it was hers and again, BM believed her.We found out later that it did belong to SD.

SD stayed with us for Father's Day/her birthday weekend and went back to her mom's that Sunday night (SD's birthday). At 2am the following morning, BM got a call from the police. SD and one of her friends were picked up with two boys after sneaking out and getting pulled over for suspicious behavior. This prompted BM to FINALLY go through SD's phone and what we found was insane. SD had been sneaking out of her mom's house for MONTHS. She would have classmates and random people she met online pick her up so she could go drink, use drugs, have sex, etc. Many of her girlfriends were in on it too and they snuck out from BMs house together multiple times.

We all confronted SD and she still wouldn't admit to everything. BM had to go out of town for a few days and I was given SD's cell phone to go through and manage. I uncovered even more from her SnapChat than what BM had already found in her texts and Instagram messages. SD is now on lockdown. DH and I got her a Pinwheel phone that we control and she is only allowed to text us and three friends that did not partake in any of this behavior. SD continues to show no remorse for the things she did and is only upset that she got caught. SD now sees a therapist once a week (changing to 2x a week now because she needs it) but I think she needs to be evaluated for ADHD and some other things, but BM won't allow it. She doesn't "believe" in ADHD or medication.

BM will not let SD spend any time at our house except for every other weekend even though BM and SD are fighting constantly. SD has started lashing out even more, hitting walls, screaming and sobbing constantly, this information has been provided to us by her 18 year old brother who keeps staying at our house because of the drama at BM's. Obviously, SD is a mess and needs actual help, but BM will not let us or her therapist do anything.

At this point I think it is in both of their best interests for SD to live with me and my husband. She has never snuck out of our house (she can't, we have always had a security system and her bedroom is on the second floor), and we are willing to put in the effort to get her better through any means necessary. SD also does not push the boundaries with us like she does with BM, probably because she SD knows we will stand by our word and there are consequences at our house. BM will not even consider letting SD stay here. BM has admitted that she doesn't know what to do with SD but she will not give up the control and let us help.

First of all, I'm a 14-year-old male, and I live in Croatia. I would really like advice on my current situation.

So, 5 years back, my dad suddenly started buying me lots of things, hanging out with me a lot, and really taking care of me. He started saying that we would move out together and be away from my mom. I was young, so I didn't really understand.

Then, last summer, he moved out to another place, and I came to live with him in September when school started. I immediately told him I wanted to live with my mom, but it was because I was afraid. I only really started wanting to live with my mom after the conversation I had with my sister (20 now). One night, she told me that he was never satisfied with her grades, that he used to beat her because of her grades, removed her door, and wasn't there for her when she was a child.

Then my dad started telling me that my mom has no feelings and that she didn't love him when they were together, that my brother (26 now) was gay, that my sister also has no feelings, and other bad things. I do not believe him, even now.

I told my mom that I wanted to live with her in November, and she showed me some files that said I was with my dad because I wanted to be with him. But a bit later, my dad showed me files where it said that I was with him because my mom had problems (which I do not believe). It was just kind of like that for a while, but he found out in February that I wanted to live with my mom. He told me that my mom had manipulated me into wanting to come back to her.

I don't really remember what happened over the next couple of months, but I still wanted to live with my mom. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he told me that if I went to live with my mom, he would have to move to his other house in another city where I have no friends, and that he would take away my phone and TV. He also said that when I was with him, I would only be allowed to study. He told me I had to change my decision that day because I didn't have any time left. I said I would, but a few days later, I had a talk with my mom. We didn't really get anywhere, but she told her lawyer to inform the court that I still wanted to live with her.

When my dad saw that, he got really angry and started questioning me, but I didn't answer any of his questions. About 4 hours later, I told him that I still wanted to live with my mom. He started cursing a lot and told me that he would make my life hard. He also started guilting me, saying that he had done everything for me over the last 5 years and that I was really ungrateful.

He calmed down after a couple of days, but he was still trying to guilt me. He kept telling me that his life didn't matter without me and that if I wasn't there, he would have killed my mom already.

A couple of days later, I had a talk with my aunt, who told me a bunch of things about him. We live in a two-floor house where my mom and I live on the upper floor, while my aunt, grandpa, grandma, and brother live on the lower floor.

She told me that when my mom and dad first got married, my dad didn't have a place of his own, so he moved into the house where I live now. At the time, there wasn't an upper floor, and there wasn't enough space, so my grandpa decided to have another floor built. She told me that my dad only built the staircase, while my dad says that he built the entire upper floor.

She also told me that he had left my mom multiple times over the years and even had a child with another woman (which I already knew about), and that he wasn't there for my brother's and sister's childhoods. She also said that he is a narcissist who is only taking me away from my mom to hurt her.

My brother also talked to me later and told me that my father is a narcissist who ruined his childhood, that nothing is ever good enough for him, and that he hopes I will come back to live with my mom.

My aunt also told me that since I am 14, the police cannot take me by force to my dad's house if I don't want to go. Is this true?

Please give me advice! I need to go to my special guardian tomorrow to tell her what i want!

Hello All ,

I’m going to court soon for custody of my young child (6) . Her father and I split in December and her and I moved out before the beginning of this year . He’s been basically absent ( 5 hours of visits total in 4 months ) and so I filed for custody so I have it on paper for school and such. As we weren’t married I have full custody as it stands but I know he is looking for 50/50 ( child support will be lowered ) even though he can’t even be bothered to show up now . She’s doing so good and mentally seems to be in a good spot but unfortunately whenever he does come around it causes a lot of anxiety and stress . She starts acting out and it just causes her a lot of turmoil. Do judges consider this ? He’s already possibly got another kid on the way ( which he conveniently mentioned in front of her ) and a new girlfriend moving in soon so her going to his house and being exposed to all that I feel will make it worse for her . Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so what was the outcome?

My child’s other parent lives in another state, so all exchanges for placement are done via flights. After this summer, I’m considering asking the court to require a confirmed flight itinerary by a set deadline (X days before summer placement and spring/winter break placement begins). This isn’t about vacations during the placement, it’s about the travel required to begin and end court ordered placement.

The goal is NOT to change the already agreed upon parenting time, it’s to eliminate last minute uncertainty so I can confidently plan camps, sports, vacations, and other activities that gives my child stability instead of leaving my child in limbo and feelings of anxiety wondering if or when they’re leaving. Unfortunately, this happened this summer and my ex sent me flight confirmation DAY OF after many weeks of waiting and wondering and getting no response or confirmation of anything. And the placement this summer was a few weeks shorter than what it was ordered to be.

My ex has a history of booking arrangements last minute, not responding to calls/texts, and not following through on their word which is why I’m proposing the confirmed travel info in advance of placement time so everyone involved knows what’s happening and when. Would this proposed modification be too much to ask? I’m genuinely curious if I’m being crazy or if people think a judge would find me crazy.

What should happen if that notice deadline is missed? I don’t want to take parenting time away, but there should be some sort of firm result and I want to be able to make reasonable decisions for my child thereafter. What do you think would be a fair, automatic consequence if the confirmed itinerary isn’t provided by the deadline?

I just feel awful for my child; hasn’t been able to do much this summer and missed out on things they could’ve participated in. It’s painful, and this just doesn’t feel right.

Thank you for reading. Any insight, feedback, advice, similar experiences, etc. are greatly appreciated.

I’m looking to hear from anyone who’s been through a similar situation in Colorado involving an Allocation of Parental Responsibilities (APR) where the parents ultimately ended up living in different states.
To be clear, this is not a relocation case under Colorado’s relocation statute (§ 14-10-129, C.R.S.). There was no existing final parenting plan or allocation of parental responsibilities in place when everything happened. Before the case was filed, both parents lived near each other in Colorado. After the APR case was filed, the mother stated that she would be living in Washington (or another state), while the father intended to remain in Colorado.
My understanding is that this makes the court’s job different from a traditional relocation case because the court is creating the initial parenting plan and allocating parental responsibilities under Colorado’s APR statutes and the child’s best-interest factors (§ 14-10-124, C.R.S.), rather than deciding whether to modify an existing parenting plan due to one parent’s move.
Has anyone here gone through something similar?
Was the court essentially deciding between two home states when creating the first parenting plan?
How much weight did the court give to each parent’s proposed residence?
If the parents lived in different states, did one parent receive the school year while the other had summers and holidays, or was there another arrangement?
What factors seemed to matter most to the judge?
If you were the parent proposing to live in another state, how did the court analyze that when there wasn’t already a parenting plan to modify?
I’d really appreciate hearing real experiences from anyone who’s been through an initial APR involving parents living in different states. Thanks!

Served my ex mid-June with a custody and support modification request. I know he was still working because I had to eventually hire a PI because he kept avoiding the process server. She told me she served him as he was getting into his personally assigned company work truck. Immediately after, he quit his job and is now claiming he can't work due to injury, but he's been posting gym selfies and workout videos the whole time, including one yesterday of him benching 275 Ibs. He said he is still working but only doing massage therapy and personal training - which used to be his side gigs on top of his full-time job.

Our original 2019 support order was set below state guideline because he had a lawyer and I didn't, and he filed in a county that the kids and I had not lived in for almost a year, which I couldn't afford to keep flying back to fight. I basically felt bullied into signing it so I could stop missing my college classes and leaving the kids for 48 hours to fly to court hearings. It's time he actually contributes fairly so l was proud of myself for doing all the paperwork on my own. But now I'm stressed out.

The hearing is next month. Anyone have experience with judges imputing income in situations like this? | feel like it's glaringly obvious why he quit his job. Is there specific language I should be using to request that they impute his income to what he was making.
He was definitely clearing 10k a month before quitting.

I'm hoping to hear from people who have actually been through something similar. I'm not looking for legal advice or for anyone to tell me who's right or wrong. I'm trying to decide what the best path forward is.

Here's the situation, keeping details anonymous:

I have a daughter who is 14, almost 15. When she was very young, her mother and I went through a serious domestic violence incident for which she was criminally convicted. Not long afterward, she moved out of state with our daughter, and for many years I had little to no contact with my child. Over the years I made attempts to reconnect, but meaningful contact didn't happen until a couple of years ago.

Since then, we've been talking regularly through phone calls and FaceTime, and I felt like we were slowly building a genuine father daughter relationship.

This July, I traveled across the country to spend time with her. I thought the visit was going well until there was a disagreement between me and her stepfather about my role in my daughter's life. He feels that because he has raised her for most of her life, he sees himself as her father. I understand why he feels that way, but I'm also her biological father, and I want the opportunity to build a healthy relationship with my daughter.

Since I returned home, all communication has stopped. Before that trip, my daughter consistently answered my calls and texts. Now I haven't heard from her at all, and I honestly don't know whether she's choosing not to respond or whether she's no longer being allowed to.

Now I'm at a crossroads.

Part of me wants to hire an attorney and fight for parenting time. The other part wonders whether, with only about three years until she's an adult, a lengthy court battle would be worth the emotional and financial cost, especially if it ends up putting her in the middle, which is the last thing I want.

I'm hoping to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

Did you decide to go back to court? If so, did it help your relationship with your child?
If you decided not to, do you regret that decision?
If your child was a teenager, how much did their wishes matter in the process?
Looking back, what would you have done differently?

I'm genuinely trying to make the decision that's best for my daughter, not just the decision that's best for me. I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have lived through something similar.

I recently went to custody court for the first time with my son’s father this past week. We have been going at it about transportation for the last few years. Our current order states that if we live more than 100 miles away from each other then I am to help with transportation for his visitation. honestly, I don’t want to because I already do everything else and he owes me a lot of money so I have been pushing back on it. The order also says that if we live more than 100 miles away he only gets one weekend a month for visitation but we have informally doing standard visitation for many years. The judge told me that unfortunately he will not forgo the previous order, but will allow that he come and get him and I meet him halfway on the return. I’m willing to comply with that but now I no longer want to go by the informal agreement for standard visitation. If I’m ordered to meet him halfway on the return and I only have to do it once a month then so be it. But I’m not going to do it for 2 and 3 times a month if I don’t have to. He’s gone berserk and think I’m the AH in the situation by not continuing the informal agreement. We really could have resolved this amongst ourselves if he had a car and did the visitation transportation himself. Now he’s mad he’ll only get the kid once a month. Am I wrong? 😑

Hi this is a throwaway account guys.

My ex left our 3 and 5 year old in the pool unsupervised leading my 3 year old to nearly die by drowning (transported by ambulance, hospital). He has previously acknowledged in writing that the kids will always be supervised in the pool, so he is aware of the risk. He also lied to paramedics with differing accounts of the amount of time the child was submerged, and the numbers of oxygen saturation just don’t match up with only “two seconds” of turning his back.

I do have documentation of a pattern of minimizing risk on top of this.

Anyway, I don’t want to do this, but I feel like I have to. I feel awful. I don’t want to “take the kids away” but he almost let one of them die because of ignoring a known risk he already contracted for safety surrounding. I just need the kids to be alive and he obviously can’t be trusted to do that.

I’m just, really, really scared and I feel like this incident crossed a line we can’t come back from. Would appreciate some support or experiences for those who have been through this or something like it.

Edit to add:
We have no formalized parenting plan or custody arrangement. Hospital left me to battle him to take the kids home with me from the hospital because of this. And he’s not paying child support because he doesn’t feel like he should have to.