So we have had her for about eight months now she got her. She was extremely skinny and she was only about 11 pounds for a two year-old only wearing 18 months old clothes now we finally got her up away. She’s outgrown two teas. She has so much more energy than what she used to like when we first got her she was barely moving, barely finally barely bike and now we can’t stop her from smiling stop her from playing she just has more anybody in the house outside the for dogs.
Like three months after we’ve had her on her bio, Dad Mom started questioning him on why he wasn’t here and why he was asking about her and stuff like that so then he asked to have her every other week and so he started doing that, but since he has been having her every other weekend, she comes home with rashes on her privates. There was one time that she came home with the big black eye and got three different stories on how it happened. He does not pay for anything you got a car seat because it was either he bought himself one or he had to pay us back for when he didn’t want to do either when we got her he didn’t have electricity or running water, and it was the coldest time of the month they live in a pretty crappy trailer to cause it was poorly insulated and we knew that trailer got extremely cold.
My husband And I have been wanting to try to get full custody right over so he has no right to tell us what we can and can’t do with her cause the one that’s been taking through doctors appointments making sure her shots are updated and we also plan on moving, but he’s trying to tell us that he doesn’t want us to move while we have her yet. He hasn’t done anything to prove that he’s doing better for her. He actually just recently had a really good pain job and then quit to go work at a job that his boyfriend thing wanted him go work so he ended up taking like almost a $10 pay cut because of what they wanted him to do.
And we’re just tired of fighting with him about getting us some money so even though we already bought everything she needs that we can recuperate some of that money but he refuses to do that. He refuses to help with anything. My parents have been the ones watching her even though he was supposed to find daycare so we could be able to drop her off at daycare.
We are just both over it and just want to make it where we are her parents instead of him being her parent especially with how she calls us mom and dad and he doesn’t call him anything in the way he acts he is an uncle not the father.

I’m a military officer in a 3.5 year marriage and have a 2.5 year old boy and a 1 year old girl. For the past 1-2 years things have been bad for me and y wife but worse she been emotionally abusive to my son mainly.

When she’s mad she’s down the following:
She tells him she hates him and doesn’t want him if we divorce
Says he’s autistic (doctors have said he’s normal) and slow and retarded and delayed
She said if he was younger she would drop him off at the firestation

Earlier
She’s called our daughter a retard because she woke up a. Like times at night
She said she hates being a mom

I have 20 ish texts showing this all and have been taking notes like this example, for 6ish months.

05/16/2026
0850 just did 5k and son was being bad and crying a lot. Making told him “I hate you “
I said please don’t talk to him like that
1013 spouse frustrated with son being bad this morning and he touched her phone, she yelled “I hate you “ to him
I said don’t talk to him like that
1511 son wasn’t going to sleep for his nap time, I asked if she could try and check on him since he didn’t want to go to bed for me. Spouse said “No, if I go up there I’m going to beat the fuck out of him I hate him”

There has been nothing physical that I’ve seen and I give them both baths so. I would see

Advice??

I have my children every day of the week plus one weekend a month. Dad gets them 3 weekends a month. When we worked out the schedule it was before the kids were old enough for school and I didn’t really think much about how I would barely have fun time with them. That my time would be strictly business I handle everything from school, dentist, doctors, sports, friends literally anything you think of that occurs I handle and then one weekend a month I get to do as much fun adventure time with them as possible to try and build memories. I am lucky I get majority time with them, I tried to work out a new schedule with their dad last year to where we could do week on week off during summer time allowing more time for both of us. He unfortunately didn’t want to said that he wouldn’t be able to figure out childcare.. I’m just rambling trying to explain why we can’t do a different schedule during summers. The long story short is now I have 3 children with a new man. And I’m really struggling with how to balance fun adventures with all of them. Like how do you make sure to build memories with your new children without excluding the other children. I try to only ever do big adventures on my one weekend a month but now that my youngest are getting older as well I feel guilty even taking them to the zoo or beach without my older children. I feel like this is going to cause resentment if they see me doing all these fun things with them and only having to do school or appointments with me.

I (30, F) share two daughters (almost 8 and 10) with my ex (34, M). We were never married. We split at the end of 2019, and he married about a month after our split. I moved an hour and a half away about 6 months after our split, but continued to bring the kids to him every other weekend so he could see them. The only times I have ever kept the kids from him was when I went to pick them up from his and his new wife’s house and found our youngest (3 at the time) running and around with a screwdriver in the backyard and our oldest (5 at the time) playing in a treehouse, both unsupervised while he and his wife were inside the house. At this time I decided he was being neglectful and I did not trust him with the kids, but allowed that he could visit them at his parent‘s house. He and his wife divorced about a year later and both received domestic charges against the other. It was a nasty divorce. During the time that they were married, I was told (by his mother) that he would make nasty remarks about me in front of our kids.

He moved in with his parents after the divorce in 2021. I trust his parents and they are heavily involved in the girls’ lives, so I allowed the kids to continue to stay there every other weekend and he was able to spend more time with them from that point on. Everything was fine and coparenting went well during this time. I married in November 2023 and he threatened to take me to court for custody when our oldest told him she wanted to call my new husband “dad.” Nothing ever came from it, I knew he couldn't afford to take me to court and I think he knew he wouldn't win based off of that alone. I continued to bring the girls to him every other weekend or he, or his parents, would meet me halfway to pick them up. My husband and I decided to move to my hometown in December 2024. My ex soon bought a house right next to his parents after that, and he seemed to be doing good at this point so I allowed them to stay over at his house with him every other weekend. Things continued to go well for the next couple of years.

He started a relationship with someone in 2025 and they dated for about 8 months before he introduced the kids to her. I had not met her yet but knew about her from mutual friends. She was a recovering addict, she seemed to have her life on the right track and she was nice to my children. Very shortly (like a week) after the girls met her, they broke up and he moved on immediately into another relationship. The kids met his new girlfriend 3 days after they were dating, and at that point they were already engaged, as he proposed to her just 2 days after starting dating. The girls came home that weekend and told my husband and I, ”dad has a new girlfriend and she’s going to be our stepmom!” My husband and I were confused and annoyed, as we knew nothing about this, and felt it was irresponsible of him but there was nothing we could do about it. They have been engaged for nearly 2 months now.

I have just found out that the new fiancé has 2 felony convictions that are drug related. She has 6 kids, and from my understand she had lost custody of the first 3 when they were younger. She has her youngest 3 at home with her, but I am unsure if she shares custody of these 3 with her ex husband. They immediately moved in together after they started dating. My ex, his fiancé, her 3 kids, and occasionally my 2 kids are all staying in a 2 bedroom house. The 3 girls (my two and her daughter) stay in one bedroom. Our youngest daughter sleeps in the bottom bunk and our oldest daughter sleeps with her daughter in the top bunk. Her sons sleep in the living room and her and my ex share the other bedroom. I was also informed that her 21 year old son is planning to move in with them.

On 2 separate occasions my ex has failed to pick up the girls on days he was supposed to have them. He has also cut 2 of their visits short. He gets them on Thursdays and every other weekend and they stay Friday and Saturday on those weekends, then come home Sunday at dinner time. Last month he only kept them for 1 night instead of two, and only had them for 8 hours this past weekend. My kids informed me that they allow them to go to the pool and other places around town alone. I told him that I do not allow this, as they are only 7 and 10 and not old enough to be out in public alone. Even our pool states all children 10 and under must be accompanied by and adult. He has continued to let our 10 year old walk in town and go places without his supervision even after my asking him not to do so. His fiancé made a post on Facebook last week asking if anyone in the community has seen her youngest sons (9 and 10) as they were out doing “jobs” and it was 2 hours past the time they were supposed to be home. When someone commented and asked what area they might be in so they could go look for them, she didn’t know. She said she thought one of their jobs was at a house by the hospital but wasn't completely sure.

My gut is telling me that my children are not a priority in their relationship. Between him failing to pick them up on his days, cutting their time short, and them letting the young kids freely wander around town, doing jobs at random houses of individuals she doesn’t even know, I worry about the wellbeing of my daughters. His fiancé has not shown any ill feelings towards them, but I do not trust them being in their care at this time, and I don’t want to just sit and wait for something bad to happen to them. I am also concerned about her felony convictions. She was convicted in 2022 and 2024. Her charges state she was selling weed from her home. Her 3 youngest children lived with her in that home as far as I’m aware. Who knows what kind of people she was letting in her house to sell to. I just have a very bad feeling about all of this. Am I being unreasonable? Would I even stand a chance in getting sole custody? I don’t want to hurt my children, but I fear for their safety and am not comfortable with their living situation over there.

My brother was caught being unfaithful; had condoms and viagra in his bag.

In return my SIL brought a boyfriend home and spent the night with my nephew in the room. My brother caught her red handed but not like she cares. There were many things that went on and the were separated for the last two years. Same house different rooms. They don’t even speak to each other.

So, she’s claiming that he doesn’t care for his child doesn’t give any money to support him and that she does everything in regard to her son (not a lie). My brother doesn’t want to give her any money because he says she should be able to afford it since she has a partner and my nephew calls him dad now.

How is this gonna hold up in court? We can’t be bothered with the adults in this, we just want my nephew and want to have a life with him. She doesn’t allow us to see him anymore. We just miss the shit outta him and my mom is not getting any better health wise.

On my custody order we have Thursday nights we had spo which was Thursday 6p - 8p. Now that my son is older he gets Thursday when school is released until Friday morning when school is back in session but my son is too young for school. Would he drop off at my residence at whatever time the district says or does he drop off Friday at 6p?

For context: We share two kids, F(6) & M(7). We were together for almost 8 years, and have known each other for close to 20 years now. We broke up a year ago, he very hastily moved out, leaving myself and our children in the apartment we shared. He remarried after 3 months, having gotten together and moved in with her after like 2 weeks. Our children love his wife and call her “mama” (not my choice or decision). He had an ongoing court case for first degree sexual assault that happened back in 2021 (long story). He was let out on bond (not by me) and his stipulations were he could NOT be arrested again or he’d be taken into custody.
This past week at our child exchange, he was trying to prevent me from taking my son. It escalated to the point of me calling 911, but it resolved while I was on the phone with the dispatcher who informed me to that unless things got physical, this was a family matter and I should go to court first thing Monday morning and file for custody to get something in writing. We’d been operating on a verbal agreement over the last year, so I had no protections regarding physical custody. They told me take my kids and go home, file as soon as the courts open Monday.
Normally he takes them on Thursdays, and I had filed Monday but I didn’t want anyone to say I was keeping the kids from him, so I reached out Thursday afternoon to see he had plans to take the kids for his time and when was I picking them up, Sunday or Monday. He was very agreeable about me dropping them off to him Saturday this week instead, as I had some fun plans for them and wanted to keep them a couple extra days. We set it up so I’d be dropping them off Saturday afternoon and picking them up Monday morning.
Well, his wife called me Friday morning sobbing, letting me know that he had been drinking and assaulted her some time over night, and he had been arrested and was sitting in a holding cell waiting to be arraigned that morning. He was charged with 5-6 different misdemeanors including a strangulation/suffocation related charge. He is now in jail until sentencing or someone bails him out. His next hearing is August 12th. Our custody mediation was supposed to be August 14th.
All I can think about is how my kids last interaction w their dad was a very scary heated moment where he was preventing our son from leaving, locking our daughter out of his house and our son inside, and eventually pushing my son out the door telling him not to come back. And now he’s in jail, and they cannot speak to him or see him. I haven’t told them any of this as I don’t feel it’s appropriate for them to know. I have to coordinate with his wife to pick up their things at some point, I have to figure out how to navigate this road in a way that traumatizes them the least.
Luckily I have a long term partner who is very good to them and is a strong male role model for them. But it still really sucks knowing this is the reality I gave them. I don’t really know what I’m asking for, or what advice I need.

Soon to be ex wife is an extreme narcissist who continues to lie to the courts about everything she can. She had an emergency temp order put on me saying I was a drug addict. I passed a hair test to prove that wrong. I’ve been on restricted supervised visits only for months. Mediation failed as she only wants to move out of state (her family lives there) and won’t agree to anything else. I believe she’s been planning this for years. She refuses to even speak to me or co parent. I’ve been extremely involved since the day she served me. She is now claiming I am not interested and and absentee father because I didn’t go to a one of my infants well visit appointments during her time and I had to work. We are going to court now. What are the chances she wins going out of state? Kids are under 4. She’s claimed unfit, financial, job opportunity, everything you can imagine. GAL has recommended more time with the kids months ago and I have yet to have that. GAL said I’ve done everything right and more. Mediator has suggested a psych eval.
What are the chances a judge lets her move? Ive been begging to be part of their lives since she kicked me out.

TL;DR: Husband has partial custody (he is not primary) of 15yo daughter who is having serious issues. SD and her mom (who has primary custody) do not get along at all and it is only making everything worse. I'm wanting to know if my husband has any options to get SD out of her mom's house, at least temporarily. SD's mom is completely against it.

My husband (DH) and his ex-wife (BM) have split custody of their 15yo daughter (SD). They also have two sons but both are over 18 now.

BM has always been primary and DH has expanded standard - every Thursday and every other weekend during the school year. During the summer it is every other weekend and two 2-week periods. When they first went to court for custody during their divorce, BM was against DH having any custody at all. She did not want him to even get every other weekend unless he agreed to take on all of their marriage debt in the divorce (over $30k). This was the only way she would agree to expanded standard without more litigation. About 6+ years ago, DH filed for additional custody so he could take the kids to school on Monday after his weekends and pick them up from school on Fridays instead of from BM's house at 5pm. It wasn't much extra time, but it was worth it.

BM has always been difficult to co-parent with and has always tried to take as much of DH's time with the kids away from him as possible. Between scheduling her family's events and school events (she is a teacher and coach at SD's school), and encouraging the kids to see their friends on DH's weekends, it has been a struggle to see them over the years. This got worse as the kids got older and three years ago DH and I sold our farm and moved to BM's neighborhood so we could see the kids more. BM still makes it difficult, but being down the street from her house has helped in some ways.

BM and SD have always had a strained relationship. They are very different people and SD feels BM does not understand her. This has lead to a lot of fights between them over the years. SD calls me crying regularly, telling me about the fights they have gotten into. I have always tried to play Switzerland, and give SD a safe space to vent, while reminding her that BM loves her and wants what is best for her, even if it doesn't seem like it (and even if I don't really believe it myself). SD has said that she wants to live with DH and I, but BM won't allow it and won't even entertain the thought of SD spending more time here.

1.5 years ago, SD and BM were fighting non-stop, so DH and I spoke with a lawyer about getting 50/50 or primary. The lawyer said even with SD being willing to talk to the judge and all of the "evidence" we had, the chances of a judge changing the custody agreement were very slim and it "never happens in Texas". He convinced us that it was not worth the time and money to try.

SD was given an unrestricted iPhone when she was 11 and has had access to Instagram and SnapChat for years, long before DH and I thought she was emotionally mature enough. BM controls all of that but has never learned how to use parental controls, so SD ends up with unrestricted access to everything and no oversight by BM. We have asked BM to go through her phone multiple times, but she wouldn't. Since about December, DH and I noticed a significant change in SD. Things she used to care about deeply no longer mattered, she started dressing differently, and she was consumed by social media. SD cancelled plans she made with us, that she would have normally really looked forward to, avoiding coming to our house, and wouldn't respond to texts or phone calls for days, if at all.

Once school got out, BM let SD go feral. We have access to her location and noticed she was going to places she shouldn't be at, like her high school late at night, or riding in cars at 2am when she was supposed to be at BMs. She was spending the night at a different' friend's house every night, multiple nights in a row and some of them we had never heard of or met. SD's location would be turned off, suspiciously always between 11pm and 5am, and when we questioned SD, she said her phone died or she thought there was something wrong with the app. We told BM about our concerns and she blew it off stating "I know all of the kids she hangs out with because I'm a teacher at their school. They're good kids.", but we had a feeling SD was getting into trouble.

About 4 weeks into summer break, one of SD's friend's mom's reached out to me on Facebook. She had gone through her daughter's phone and found that her daughter and SD had been sneaking out and drinking. We confronted SD, she denied participating even though her friend's mom had evidence of SD partaking. DH and I did not believe SD, but BM did, so no consequences happened and she continued with her freedom. When SD was with us (which was rare during this time), we didn't allow her to go anywhere. About a week later, BM found a vape in SD's room. SD denied that it was hers and again, BM believed her.We found out later that it did belong to SD.

SD stayed with us for Father's Day/her birthday weekend and went back to her mom's that Sunday night (SD's birthday). At 2am the following morning, BM got a call from the police. SD and one of her friends were picked up with two boys after sneaking out and getting pulled over for suspicious behavior. This prompted BM to FINALLY go through SD's phone and what we found was insane. SD had been sneaking out of her mom's house for MONTHS. She would have classmates and random people she met online pick her up so she could go drink, use drugs, have sex, etc. Many of her girlfriends were in on it too and they snuck out from BMs house together multiple times.

We all confronted SD and she still wouldn't admit to everything. BM had to go out of town for a few days and I was given SD's cell phone to go through and manage. I uncovered even more from her SnapChat than what BM had already found in her texts and Instagram messages. SD is now on lockdown. DH and I got her a Pinwheel phone that we control and she is only allowed to text us and three friends that did not partake in any of this behavior. SD continues to show no remorse for the things she did and is only upset that she got caught. SD now sees a therapist once a week (changing to 2x a week now because she needs it) but I think she needs to be evaluated for ADHD and some other things, but BM won't allow it. She doesn't "believe" in ADHD or medication.

BM will not let SD spend any time at our house except for every other weekend even though BM and SD are fighting constantly. SD has started lashing out even more, hitting walls, screaming and sobbing constantly, this information has been provided to us by her 18 year old brother who keeps staying at our house because of the drama at BM's. Obviously, SD is a mess and needs actual help, but BM will not let us or her therapist do anything.

At this point I think it is in both of their best interests for SD to live with me and my husband. She has never snuck out of our house (she can't, we have always had a security system and her bedroom is on the second floor), and we are willing to put in the effort to get her better through any means necessary. SD also does not push the boundaries with us like she does with BM, probably because she SD knows we will stand by our word and there are consequences at our house. BM will not even consider letting SD stay here. BM has admitted that she doesn't know what to do with SD but she will not give up the control and let us help.

First of all, I'm a 14-year-old male, and I live in Croatia. I would really like advice on my current situation.

So, 5 years back, my dad suddenly started buying me lots of things, hanging out with me a lot, and really taking care of me. He started saying that we would move out together and be away from my mom. I was young, so I didn't really understand.

Then, last summer, he moved out to another place, and I came to live with him in September when school started. I immediately told him I wanted to live with my mom, but it was because I was afraid. I only really started wanting to live with my mom after the conversation I had with my sister (20 now). One night, she told me that he was never satisfied with her grades, that he used to beat her because of her grades, removed her door, and wasn't there for her when she was a child.

Then my dad started telling me that my mom has no feelings and that she didn't love him when they were together, that my brother (26 now) was gay, that my sister also has no feelings, and other bad things. I do not believe him, even now.

I told my mom that I wanted to live with her in November, and she showed me some files that said I was with my dad because I wanted to be with him. But a bit later, my dad showed me files where it said that I was with him because my mom had problems (which I do not believe). It was just kind of like that for a while, but he found out in February that I wanted to live with my mom. He told me that my mom had manipulated me into wanting to come back to her.

I don't really remember what happened over the next couple of months, but I still wanted to live with my mom. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he told me that if I went to live with my mom, he would have to move to his other house in another city where I have no friends, and that he would take away my phone and TV. He also said that when I was with him, I would only be allowed to study. He told me I had to change my decision that day because I didn't have any time left. I said I would, but a few days later, I had a talk with my mom. We didn't really get anywhere, but she told her lawyer to inform the court that I still wanted to live with her.

When my dad saw that, he got really angry and started questioning me, but I didn't answer any of his questions. About 4 hours later, I told him that I still wanted to live with my mom. He started cursing a lot and told me that he would make my life hard. He also started guilting me, saying that he had done everything for me over the last 5 years and that I was really ungrateful.

He calmed down after a couple of days, but he was still trying to guilt me. He kept telling me that his life didn't matter without me and that if I wasn't there, he would have killed my mom already.

A couple of days later, I had a talk with my aunt, who told me a bunch of things about him. We live in a two-floor house where my mom and I live on the upper floor, while my aunt, grandpa, grandma, and brother live on the lower floor.

She told me that when my mom and dad first got married, my dad didn't have a place of his own, so he moved into the house where I live now. At the time, there wasn't an upper floor, and there wasn't enough space, so my grandpa decided to have another floor built. She told me that my dad only built the staircase, while my dad says that he built the entire upper floor.

She also told me that he had left my mom multiple times over the years and even had a child with another woman (which I already knew about), and that he wasn't there for my brother's and sister's childhoods. She also said that he is a narcissist who is only taking me away from my mom to hurt her.

My brother also talked to me later and told me that my father is a narcissist who ruined his childhood, that nothing is ever good enough for him, and that he hopes I will come back to live with my mom.

My aunt also told me that since I am 14, the police cannot take me by force to my dad's house if I don't want to go. Is this true?

Please give me advice! I need to go to my special guardian tomorrow to tell her what i want!

Hello All ,

I’m going to court soon for custody of my young child (6) . Her father and I split in December and her and I moved out before the beginning of this year . He’s been basically absent ( 5 hours of visits total in 4 months ) and so I filed for custody so I have it on paper for school and such. As we weren’t married I have full custody as it stands but I know he is looking for 50/50 ( child support will be lowered ) even though he can’t even be bothered to show up now . She’s doing so good and mentally seems to be in a good spot but unfortunately whenever he does come around it causes a lot of anxiety and stress . She starts acting out and it just causes her a lot of turmoil. Do judges consider this ? He’s already possibly got another kid on the way ( which he conveniently mentioned in front of her ) and a new girlfriend moving in soon so her going to his house and being exposed to all that I feel will make it worse for her . Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so what was the outcome?

My child’s other parent lives in another state, so all exchanges for placement are done via flights. After this summer, I’m considering asking the court to require a confirmed flight itinerary by a set deadline (X days before summer placement and spring/winter break placement begins). This isn’t about vacations during the placement, it’s about the travel required to begin and end court ordered placement.

The goal is NOT to change the already agreed upon parenting time, it’s to eliminate last minute uncertainty so I can confidently plan camps, sports, vacations, and other activities that gives my child stability instead of leaving my child in limbo and feelings of anxiety wondering if or when they’re leaving. Unfortunately, this happened this summer and my ex sent me flight confirmation DAY OF after many weeks of waiting and wondering and getting no response or confirmation of anything. And the placement this summer was a few weeks shorter than what it was ordered to be.

My ex has a history of booking arrangements last minute, not responding to calls/texts, and not following through on their word which is why I’m proposing the confirmed travel info in advance of placement time so everyone involved knows what’s happening and when. Would this proposed modification be too much to ask? I’m genuinely curious if I’m being crazy or if people think a judge would find me crazy.

What should happen if that notice deadline is missed? I don’t want to take parenting time away, but there should be some sort of firm result and I want to be able to make reasonable decisions for my child thereafter. What do you think would be a fair, automatic consequence if the confirmed itinerary isn’t provided by the deadline?

I just feel awful for my child; hasn’t been able to do much this summer and missed out on things they could’ve participated in. It’s painful, and this just doesn’t feel right.

Thank you for reading. Any insight, feedback, advice, similar experiences, etc. are greatly appreciated.

I’m looking to hear from anyone who’s been through a similar situation in Colorado involving an Allocation of Parental Responsibilities (APR) where the parents ultimately ended up living in different states.
To be clear, this is not a relocation case under Colorado’s relocation statute (§ 14-10-129, C.R.S.). There was no existing final parenting plan or allocation of parental responsibilities in place when everything happened. Before the case was filed, both parents lived near each other in Colorado. After the APR case was filed, the mother stated that she would be living in Washington (or another state), while the father intended to remain in Colorado.
My understanding is that this makes the court’s job different from a traditional relocation case because the court is creating the initial parenting plan and allocating parental responsibilities under Colorado’s APR statutes and the child’s best-interest factors (§ 14-10-124, C.R.S.), rather than deciding whether to modify an existing parenting plan due to one parent’s move.
Has anyone here gone through something similar?
Was the court essentially deciding between two home states when creating the first parenting plan?
How much weight did the court give to each parent’s proposed residence?
If the parents lived in different states, did one parent receive the school year while the other had summers and holidays, or was there another arrangement?
What factors seemed to matter most to the judge?
If you were the parent proposing to live in another state, how did the court analyze that when there wasn’t already a parenting plan to modify?
I’d really appreciate hearing real experiences from anyone who’s been through an initial APR involving parents living in different states. Thanks!

Served my ex mid-June with a custody and support modification request. I know he was still working because I had to eventually hire a PI because he kept avoiding the process server. She told me she served him as he was getting into his personally assigned company work truck. Immediately after, he quit his job and is now claiming he can't work due to injury, but he's been posting gym selfies and workout videos the whole time, including one yesterday of him benching 275 Ibs. He said he is still working but only doing massage therapy and personal training - which used to be his side gigs on top of his full-time job.

Our original 2019 support order was set below state guideline because he had a lawyer and I didn't, and he filed in a county that the kids and I had not lived in for almost a year, which I couldn't afford to keep flying back to fight. I basically felt bullied into signing it so I could stop missing my college classes and leaving the kids for 48 hours to fly to court hearings. It's time he actually contributes fairly so l was proud of myself for doing all the paperwork on my own. But now I'm stressed out.

The hearing is next month. Anyone have experience with judges imputing income in situations like this? | feel like it's glaringly obvious why he quit his job. Is there specific language I should be using to request that they impute his income to what he was making.
He was definitely clearing 10k a month before quitting.

I'm hoping to hear from people who have actually been through something similar. I'm not looking for legal advice or for anyone to tell me who's right or wrong. I'm trying to decide what the best path forward is.

Here's the situation, keeping details anonymous:

I have a daughter who is 14, almost 15. When she was very young, her mother and I went through a serious domestic violence incident for which she was criminally convicted. Not long afterward, she moved out of state with our daughter, and for many years I had little to no contact with my child. Over the years I made attempts to reconnect, but meaningful contact didn't happen until a couple of years ago.

Since then, we've been talking regularly through phone calls and FaceTime, and I felt like we were slowly building a genuine father daughter relationship.

This July, I traveled across the country to spend time with her. I thought the visit was going well until there was a disagreement between me and her stepfather about my role in my daughter's life. He feels that because he has raised her for most of her life, he sees himself as her father. I understand why he feels that way, but I'm also her biological father, and I want the opportunity to build a healthy relationship with my daughter.

Since I returned home, all communication has stopped. Before that trip, my daughter consistently answered my calls and texts. Now I haven't heard from her at all, and I honestly don't know whether she's choosing not to respond or whether she's no longer being allowed to.

Now I'm at a crossroads.

Part of me wants to hire an attorney and fight for parenting time. The other part wonders whether, with only about three years until she's an adult, a lengthy court battle would be worth the emotional and financial cost, especially if it ends up putting her in the middle, which is the last thing I want.

I'm hoping to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

Did you decide to go back to court? If so, did it help your relationship with your child?
If you decided not to, do you regret that decision?
If your child was a teenager, how much did their wishes matter in the process?
Looking back, what would you have done differently?

I'm genuinely trying to make the decision that's best for my daughter, not just the decision that's best for me. I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have lived through something similar.

I recently went to custody court for the first time with my son’s father this past week. We have been going at it about transportation for the last few years. Our current order states that if we live more than 100 miles away from each other then I am to help with transportation for his visitation. honestly, I don’t want to because I already do everything else and he owes me a lot of money so I have been pushing back on it. The order also says that if we live more than 100 miles away he only gets one weekend a month for visitation but we have informally doing standard visitation for many years. The judge told me that unfortunately he will not forgo the previous order, but will allow that he come and get him and I meet him halfway on the return. I’m willing to comply with that but now I no longer want to go by the informal agreement for standard visitation. If I’m ordered to meet him halfway on the return and I only have to do it once a month then so be it. But I’m not going to do it for 2 and 3 times a month if I don’t have to. He’s gone berserk and think I’m the AH in the situation by not continuing the informal agreement. We really could have resolved this amongst ourselves if he had a car and did the visitation transportation himself. Now he’s mad he’ll only get the kid once a month. Am I wrong? 😑

Hi this is a throwaway account guys.

My ex left our 3 and 5 year old in the pool unsupervised leading my 3 year old to nearly die by drowning (transported by ambulance, hospital). He has previously acknowledged in writing that the kids will always be supervised in the pool, so he is aware of the risk. He also lied to paramedics with differing accounts of the amount of time the child was submerged, and the numbers of oxygen saturation just don’t match up with only “two seconds” of turning his back.

I do have documentation of a pattern of minimizing risk on top of this.

Anyway, I don’t want to do this, but I feel like I have to. I feel awful. I don’t want to “take the kids away” but he almost let one of them die because of ignoring a known risk he already contracted for safety surrounding. I just need the kids to be alive and he obviously can’t be trusted to do that.

I’m just, really, really scared and I feel like this incident crossed a line we can’t come back from. Would appreciate some support or experiences for those who have been through this or something like it.

Edit to add:
We have no formalized parenting plan or custody arrangement. Hospital left me to battle him to take the kids home with me from the hospital because of this. And he’s not paying child support because he doesn’t feel like he should have to.

This is a vent post more than anything.

Biodad told me that step mom is just as much of a parent to our children as me and should have just as much say in decisions regarding them, conversation was specifically on the topic of a medical decision.

Also told me around Mother’s Day that I “better be getting her something” for the holiday because she’s just as much of a mom to our children as I am.

Uhhhhhhh… last I checked I carried the children in my womb and labored and birthed and breastfed them. I’m not opposed to them having a stepmom, he needs that help in his life and they need that care when at his house, but am I wrong for finding those comments just absolutely unreasonable and disrespectful towards me as their biomom?

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So ex got a DUI a few months ago. Couldn't drive without a breathalyzer on his car. We had a 50/50 court order but due to those requirements his lawyer/my lawyer and the Gal agreed that he couldn't drive the kids without it and could only have supervised visitation.

He got the thing on his car but never set up visitation, didn't even bother. Two months later and he and his lawyer are demanding that we go back to the original 50/50. My lawyer has attempted to ask the gal for what to do but she won't answer. My lawyer is saying just to keep the kids with me until we hear otherwise.

I'm nervous that this will backfire on me if I don't resume the original custody agreement. I want the kids to visit their dad but I'm also apprehensive about his mental state since he can't smoke weed or drink right now. I don't want to lose them over this but I could also be held accountable if something bad happens in his care.

Do I follow my lawyer or send them? What would you do?

Two parents share true joint legal and physical custody of their two year old, with every other week visitation since he was 8 months old. Has anyone ever had, or heard, of a judge ruling in favor of one parent’s motion to become primary parent and change visitation to EOW for the other parent? Strictly on the grounds of best interest of a two year old to have a more settled and consistent primary home? Assume both parents are good parents. If so, what factors would the judge look at to determine which home?

P.S. Would it make a difference if said parent was requesting a step up plan, back to alternating weeks when he’s older?

This post mainly applies to high-conflict situations involving parents with substance abuse or other issues that caused them to lose parenting time prior to custody being finalized.

I ask, HOW is it best for a child, in some cases, to be ripped away from their primary caregiver half the time (often but not always the mother) just for the sake of parental rights? Yes, parental rights are important, but the best interest of the child is more important, and that standard seems cast aside under the guise of equality. How is going back and forth from one house to another best for a child? It’s simply not. It’d be one thing if the other parent with an issue had ample parenting time with say a 80/20 or 70/30 physical custody arrangement is fair in situations where 1 parent wasn’t involved for whatever reason (such as abandonment or substance abuse) with a step-up to 50/50 (maybe) but this seems less common as many courts push for 50/50? Why? It’s frustrating.

Currently, there is a custody order giving parent joint legal custody and an 80/20 visitation schedule (Parent A having 80%). No child support order, but all medical, childcare, extracurricular, ect are split through a 14 day reimbursement period.

Parent B has been MIA for the past 6 months. No visitation, no contact with the child and no activity in the court ordered parenting app (but is alive and well based on social media platforms). Parent A has continued communicating and attempting to collaborate through the parenting app but has gotten no responses.

Child has been in travel sports for the past 5 years. Same team, same cost, same commitment and the same 50/50 cost sharing split between parents. Sign up is this week and Parent B never responded to messages regarding sign up and repayment. Legally, extracurriculars need to be agreed upon in order to split fees.

Parent A signed up the child and sent receipt via the parenting app. Parent A will eventually return to court for a modification and contempt for reimbursement.

In your opinion, should Parent B be responsible for reimbursement even though they had not agreed to the new season?

So I kinda need advice in the coparent department. I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant for reference me and my ex broke up right after I found out because his roommate didn’t like me being over there. My guess is out of jealously given they were friends with benefits however he wasn’t living there when we got together and moved back into her house after the fact. This issue comes from his lack of urgency when I told him, the fact his roommate kept getting involved to the point of harassment any time I tried to bring up things to him. His roommate is a woman old enough to be my mother, she doesn’t have custody of either of her daughters and combined with the fact of harassment I do not feel comfortable having my daughter around her without me being there. He blocked me after I told him I’m only tolerating him for our child and that was like two months ago. I’m trying to contact him and find a solution to everything given I want my child to have her dad and I don’t want to charge him child support if he does truly want to be there like he’s said in the past. He doesn’t even know that shit is a girl yet so I did text him today explaining everything I’ve felt up until now and why I am exactly upset. I’m trying to bridge the gap in the communication between us and if this attempt doesn’t work child support will be filled the moment she is born but I feel a little stupid to keep giving him chance after chance. I get that he doesn’t completely have his life together but I’m willing to work with it if he would communicate. His roommate has somehow tried to convince him that the child isn’t his which is another concern however I have told him in the past I’m willing to get a paternity test done. I would at least hope my willingness would at least give him the common sense to think that I’m not bullshiting him.