Not “you’ll meet them when you stop looking”, not “meet them at church” not “God is making you wait for a reason” I’m talking, does anyone have good advice for Catholic SERIOUS singles? So tired of hearing all the same stuff. Let’s get real here. 🙏

Anyone else done this, going to different church or different hour mass for whatever reason. Saw someone sit in front of near you and you were immediately attracted. And when it was time to greet they smiled at you. And so you decided you’d go next Sunday and hope they were there.

I don’t know who to ask but i have heard that ppl don’t use the word “date” anymore. It’s always, “do you want to hang out?” Not just for me but all my friends too. What are your thoughts on when people say this? Curious to hear from both sides. Guys-Why do you say this, what’s the real intention, and Ladies-how do you receive this? Am I wrong to want to be asked on a proper “date?” I’ve been told I’m old school, but I just feel that it sets the tone for what’s ahead, set intentions up front, and there’s no guesswork, especially once your in your 20s I think it just makes sense. I think I’d be so shocked if someone used the term, but like then again I’m thinking that is just the bare minimum. I don’t even believe in a fancy first date, i just think that I don’t like the term hang out. Anyone else?

My boyfriend of ~3 months did extraordinarily well on his MCAT and is a great, holistic candidate to start medical school in August 2027. He had a pretty serious conversation with me about what to expect as far as his schedule goes for the next 8 years, and he asked me to think about what I want out of a relationship. He is worried about letting me down due to the limitations that come with being a medical student, but he made it very clear on his end that he wants to continue dating me. I had already thought about the demands of his schedule myself, and I understand it in part as a nurse who works with med students and doctors. It meant a lot that he brought it up to me.

I understand that I have to have realistic/understanding expectations for time spent together without neglecting my own needs. I am not a particularly clingy person and fill many days of my week with family, friends, and hobbies, but I know that missing him is inevitable with the road he is going down. He genuinely feels like an answered prayer (Catholic, kind, thoughtful, intentional, traditional, intelligent, hard-working, sweet, genuine, family-oriented...), but I want to go into this with a level-head, so any advice from those with experience would be appreciated.

I’ve been asked out on a date for a walk along the beach on Saturday by an older man (~40s). I’m new to Catholic dating, so I wanted to ask for advice on what questions to ask (besides the basic getting-to-know-you questions) :’)

I think asking if he’s Catholic is a necessary question, but I’m wondering if asking if he wants to have kids is an okay question, especially because that is a dealbreaker for me. And if he turns out to be Protestant, would asking if he would raise our kids in the Church be a good question?

Please lmk everything that you would ask to know if there will be a second date and what questions you think are absolute no-gos on the first date.

Just curious. Also mention if you're on dating apps or not because I think that would probably influence it. As a guy who's not on dating apps, I usually ask a lady out like once every couple months and usually get accepted.

Im in a new place and im on the search for friends and a girlfriend. I feel that in this new chapter Its possible I might have no choice but to talk to strangers if I'm to hope to find my partner. (This is written from the male prespective BTW but itd be great to get thoughts from both sexes)

Online I hear lots of encouragement for the cold approach. The buff gymbro's self help guides are all like "it builds character and it's manly and brave even if you get rejected". And for the women. You might have seen online recently how men are no longer approaching women and the women are upset. "Why dont men approach women anymore?" (Including the toxic feminists who created that dynamic in the first place which i think is a satisfying comeuppance)

I have no problem talking to women. Even stranger women. Ive asked girls for numbers plenty of times. At my old college newman center my go to was "hey ive seen you around a bunch but I dont think weve met." After 3 or 4 interactions if we're getting along id ask for their number even if I only see them as a friend.

Although.. a newman center in college with frequent events feels a lot different from.. Walmart or a park, even a regular mass as adults..

Something about communicating desire for possible romance (cause it probably would unless you expressed otherwise) to a stranger you may never see again going off of purely looks just feels.. like... bothersome, objectifying, and kinda pathetic?? I wish it didnt feel that way but I can't help how it feels.

(Also just to clarify. approaching a person at a social event where the POINT is to mingle is totally different. This is referring to instances where you might not expect to be approached)

Like putting myself in their shoes if I was exhausted after a day if work, I barely slept, I'm at walmart to get groceries, an introvert, and a woman Ive never met comes to me and is like "hey I just saw you and wanted to say hi" and shes not even my type.. I could see that being quite unpleasant. Although it also just might make my day! Its hard to say..

Ive swallowed my pride done this type of approach a few times before in a fashion in which and really went for a more explicit "i want to get to know you because you're petty" kinda way and I felt dirty afterwards.

Some ways I've thought about combating this intrusiveness is... doing it at church is a great plus. If you're both catholic and attending mass that communicates you likely have similar ideals, id avoid compliments like "i thought you were pretty" and be more specific with things she has control over Like "i like how you did your hair" or "your dress looks great".

I even believe I have PERFECT reason to reach out. I can say "im new in town. I'm just looking to meet Catholics my age so i thought id say hi." That communicates intent without being invasive, its not objectifying, it doesnt put heavy pressure on dating but leaves the possibility open.

There is a girl I've seen at mass twice now who I find attractive. Last mass we even coincidentally sat next to each other. I was thinking I should say hi with my line. But the opportunity didn't quite present itself. I was also feeling very bad about it. Its not a confidence issue. I have the guts to say hi but... i dunno something wasnt sitting right. I want to be sure its like.. a reasonable thing to do. And I think In this particular case it is!! I might be overthinking...

These are my thoughts on the cold approach. I think there definitely is a wrong way to do it. And i just want to be sure there is a right way...

I think itd help for me too hear other opinions on the concept

I messaged a gigantic number of women over the course of my dating year(s), and I think that might have gotten more responses than the average guy (or maybe I am wrong).

However even with the number of responses that I have gotten, the vast number of people that I contacted never responded, which leads me to believe that I am doing something wrong.

So what should I send as a first message?

I tend to think it should be an intro. as if we are meeting in person, or maybe a lighthearted joke, or an overly cheesy pickup line?

P.S. my DMs are open if any of y'all wanna send me a first message, as a potential SO or as a friend ;)

this is a rant but i cannot for the LIFE of me develop any romantic feelings towards anyone. This could be because of lexapro but I am on a very low dose. I find some guys attractive but it’s very rare, and they usually aren’t into me. I honestly am worried that I’ll never fall in love with anyone and end up single for the rest of my life.

I had gotten dumped around a month ago. And frankly, I still feel anger towards my ex. Whenever I see her I can't help but get angry at the sight of her. What do you all do to help you get over an ex? She's very clearly moved on, and I genuinely want to move on and I think I have, but seeing a picture of her just makes me so angry. I'm beginning therapy and spiritual direction soon, aswell.

My girlfriend (early 20s) and I broke up two days ago. I’m struggling because this was not a typical breakup where the relationship was bad. We loved each other, respected each other, and genuinely had a very healthy relationship.

Some context:

• We were long distance.
• We never had serious arguments or fights.
• There was no cheating, disrespect, or major incompatibility.
• We supported each other a lot and both felt very grateful for the relationship.

However, she started having doubts over time. She said these doubts were not because I treated her badly or because she stopped caring about me, but because she started feeling that something was not right internally.

She mentioned several things:

• worries about the future and whether she is ready for a serious relationship;
• personal struggles related to her body, faith, family history, and becoming a mother someday;
• fears connected to her previous relationship, where she struggled a lot to leave because she felt guilty hurting someone even though the relationship was unhealthy.

She also said that some jokes I made sometimes affected her mood. I explained that I never intended to hurt her and that I would have changed that if I had known. She did not present this as the main reason for the breakup.

The breakup conversation lasted around 7 hours. We both cried, talked very deeply, shared things we had never told each other, and tried to understand each other. It was painful but also felt like two people who really loved each other trying not to hurt one another.

I told her that I wondered if some of her doubts were being intensified by stress, distance, exhaustion, and previous wounds with her ex (she was in a relationship very young and didnt broke up because she didn’t want to feel bad) rather than by the relationship itself. She understood my point and said it made sense, but she still felt a strong “gut feeling” that ending things was the right decision and that ignoring it would be betraying herself.

Afterwards, I sent her a message thanking her for everything. She replied saying she had a lot of respect and admiration for me, was grateful for our relationship, but that she was convinced of her decision and didn’t think meeting again was a good idea.

I am respecting her space, but I am struggling with what to do next.

Part of me thinks:

• she made this decision while under huge stress;
• she may need time to realize that the relationship itself was not the problem;
• because she had already processed the breakup before telling me, maybe her timeline is different from mine.

Another part of me thinks:

• she clearly communicated her decision;
• maybe I am looking for explanations because I am hurt;
• contacting her too soon could make her feel pressured.

My questions:

1. Do you think this sounds like a breakup caused by temporary circumstances, or a deeper incompatibility/personal decision?
2. Would you give her complete space, or would you reach out after some time?
3. If you would reach out, how long would you wait? (2 weeks? 3 weeks? A month?)
4. Has anyone experienced a situation where someone broke up despite loving their partner and later reconsidered?
5. What would you do in my position?

I am not looking for people to tell me “she will definitely come back” or “it is impossible.” I’m trying to understand what the healthiest and wisest thing to do is.

Thank you.

28F and I very rarely get asked out (I’ve had only one relationship ever, but he broke up with me and is in the seminary now), and whenever I do try to “drop the handkerchief” (whatever that’s supposed to mean) I either get rejected or nothing happens. I don’t feel like I’m really the type of person most guys are attracted to, and there are so many girls who are prettier than me and I worry about being looked over. I get told by other girls that I’m really pretty, but I think I’m just average at best. I’m sorry if this sounds bad but, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I’m sorry this post probably sounds really lame and desperate, but I think I’m really struggling with feeling inadequate.

Hey, looking at some different church groups and St Ann’s has even suggested by a couple of people. Wondering if anyone can share their experiences and/or if I can DM privately about it? Trying to find my community here 😊 thx!

Hi everyone! I’d appreciate some “blind shopper” advice on my Catholic match profile. I have decent pictures but I worry that I come across too serious?

Edit: Thank you all for the responses! It seems I gave the impression that I am male - I’m a woman. Valid comments though and I’ve incorporated them into my profile.

Recently met a nice Catholic man who is also coaching me on a shared interest of ours. Our mutual friend introduced us at a YA event and he asked for my number afterwards. He recently suggested we get together to talk about that interest, but his first invitation was to a family cookout. I understand if this is platonic, it is low stakes and casual, but since he is my type I’d like to get to know him as a romantic potential . He is very religious, and coming from secular dating, what is it like to get to know a practicing and devout Catholic men for romantic prospect? Should romantic intentions be stated or clear from the get-go, or must I let this unfold naturally as friends?

Greetings everyone.

I’ll just get to the point, my gf(24f) and I(24m)are about a month out from our engagement. We’ve discussed this with our spiritual directors, trusted friends, family, and spent much time in prayer and discernment(especially in front of the blessed sacrament). We believe this is what is good for us. I’m not going to try to predict the future but we’ve more or less accepted that her dad is going to tell me to kick rocks when I ask him for his blessing. We’re prepared for this and plan on getting engaged anyways.

Her father has been very upfront with me that he has a hard time with her dating and has a history of controlling her at every major life decision(just about). From pressuring her into her now college degree, to kicking up a fuss with her moving out, pressuring her out of her master’s program, etc. I’m not going to go into much other detail but I’ll assure you he fights her growing up and there are plenty of examples. She is very insistent that this conversation happens, so I’ll do it but oh well.

What do y’all think? Parental blessings? Did you get it?

Me- female. 43. 2 kids. Divorced. Non-catholic
Him- male 40. 3 kids. Marriage annulled in Catholic Church. Devout catholic

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my catholic boyfriend for a year. I am not catholic but I’ve been learning more about the beliefs and I plan to start OCIA classes in September. We live 2 hours apart. He is trying to live a more devout life which I respect, but he has hit me with the following BIG relationship changes in the last 2 weeks:
1. Being chaste— we have decided to remove physical intimacy which I’m fine with. I was under the impression that we were making our relationship pure so that we could get closer to matrimony.
2. Spending the night together— I am divorced…not an annulment so it’s not recognizing by the Catholic Church..technically I’m still married. How can we move toward matrimony if we are only spending the day together every other week? Is that even possible?

I’m afraid of what’s next. Any advice from the Catholic community is welcome. I’m just struggling with this because i thought we were building a life together.

I'm 19F and I've been romantically so many times I feel embarrassed sharing this number. Healthy and loving relationships come to my friends so easily, but not to me. I am okay with this, nobody is entitled to anything in this life, despite our efforts, and it is was clearly not in God's will for me to find anyone. After a disastrous first year at university and even more dating failures, I found my way back to God.

I realised that I was seeking God's love in the men I desired, and that even if they chose me, I still wouldn't feel fulfilled because my spiritual life was practically dead at this point. Also, I was finding my identity in so many different ways that weren't in Christ, which were leading me to get hurt in so many different ways. I now cultivate my faith daily by attending Mass whenever I can, going to Bible study regularly, and silent prayer during the day.

Finding my purpose in serving God and seeking therapy has lessened my desire to be chosen by a man, but I still find myself craving companionship. I still find myself feeling my heartache when I see my friends' beautiful relationships and hearing about everyone else's romantic endeavours. If I stay up too late at night, I worry about never finding anyone or inevitable loneliness I'll experience when my peers start to prioritise their partners and rebuilding a family.

Despite feeling this way, I don't think I'm capable of being attracted or experiencing romantic feelings anymore. In the liminal space between my last and most painful rejections, I tried to pursue other people, particularly those that felt better for me, but regardless of how perfect they were on paper, and how physically attractive they were, I couldn't bring myself to like them. It's like I'm blocked, I used to love so intensely, so I think I'm just burnt out.

As I got rejected more and more times, I got worse at dealing with the pain of rejection, as I wouldn't weep about a singular rejection, but I'd cry so hard over every single one of them. It was like when you get scurvy, and every single one of your healed wounds reopen, and this hindered me in so many different ways. With the last two guys, I felt like if they rejected me, I couldn't cope.

So, I feel like my inability to experience romantic feelings or attraction is God's and my body's way of protecting me from hurt, but I feel so anxious about my inability to love. I've always been known as the "yearner", the "lovergirl", and "hopeless romantic" so I feel as if I've lost a substantial part of myself. If God ever puts the right man on my path, I worry I won't reciprocate his feelings because these feelings simply cannot be forced. Honestly, I feel so embarrassed suggesting that, like, as if I feel too highly of myself for assuming God would provide me with someone, so I feel as if it's a matter of low self-esteem. I miss falling for someone, I feel like I'll never be able to do it again. I'm also missing some major context as to what else has caused me to feel this way, but some aspects of my pre-reconvert suffering is too much for me to recall.

I'm so grateful that my romantic failures ultimately brought me back to Christ, as I, I know the post suggests otherwise, am the happiest I've been in a while. The closest to true joy I've ever experienced is at Mass, but if I stay up too late at night or see posts that cause me pain on Instagram, these are the thoughts that start to resurface. I'll pray for some clarity, and keep cultivating my faith, but I was wondering if anyone here (particularly other late bloomers and the chronically single) could provide advice and/or pray for me too? Thank you for taking the time out of your busy days to read this. It felt good to finally get this down.

Hi All,

The Novena to Saints Anne & Joachim begins on 17th July. As the patron saints of married couples, I thought it would be lovely for those of us seeking a faithful Catholic marriage to pray it together.

We could pray for one another’s intentions—that God leads each of us towards the right spouse, prepares our hearts for marriage, and gives us peace and trust in His timing. Comment below if you’d like to join, and we can keep each other in our prayers.

Thank you all to ALL of you would prayed for me in my previous request you all really did help the Holy Spirit to shift something. I want to return the favour

If, through prayer and discernment, you genuinely felt that God was leading you to pursue a relationship with someone who didn't meet some of your original requirements—for example, a non-Catholic woman who had negative experiences with Catholics but was otherwise a kind, honest, and supportive person—would you be willing to reconsider your checklist?

Or would your original requirements remain non-negotiable regardless?

I'm not asking what the Church teaches about marriage or whether we can know God's will with certainty. I'm more interested in how you personally approach discernment when real life doesn't fit your original expectations.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Hi everyone,

Maybe someone gets what I’m saying and feeling.

Maybe even some of yall have some experiences and good ideas or examples etc

Well, as a Catholic I’d love to date a Catholic woman (I know what a surprise haha). For whatever reasons, I don’t really get to find the right type of women in my country. Many reasons for that. I could tell yall more about that if you’re interested, but let’s go back to the topic.

As I grew up between 2 cultures, I’ve always been attracted to dating across the borders.

And I’ve tried a bit of online dating, but the problem I have is: it often feels so superficial. The swiping or the other ways to do this.

And then idk, I feel like in an I interview.

None of this is the way I imagined to be the beginning of my “love story” or something like that.

So I wanted to ask yall: are there other ways to date internationally? Are there events or something like that?

Are there organizations or other things that work internationally and where I could start participating? Ofc not to look for a wife, but to do something and as a side effect get to know other Catholics around the world?

Idk but I feel like this sounds like a more organic way to meet ppl?

Can you all share your insights, advices, experiences etc for this young Catholic boy in his frustration about the dating life in our modern times!

Hey, looking at potentially settling down in Fort Worth and curious if anyone has any experience with the young adult communities there. Good or bad experiences, overall Catholic vibe there for the age demographic, etc are very helpful. Thanks!

Looking for feedback to make sure that how I dress is generally welcomed in Catholic circles/by Catholic women.

During the colder months, I'd wear wool sweaters with dress shirts, ties, chinos, dress shoes, and maybe a scarf and a topcoat if the weather called for it. I've been thrifting for the last 4 years to level up my wardrobe, so I've amassed a lot of combos here. I have blazers/suits, but I've avoided wearing them too much because people sometimes think it's too pretentious.

I've spent more time dressing like that for the colder months, but I've struggled to think of how to dress up for the summer. I've settled for occasional OCBD shirts, polos, and want to upgrade with some summer-friendly blazers. I just thrifted a ton of wool trousers to be more formal that way--maybe polo/trouser/dress shoes.

While a lot of people have really liked and complimented me for my outfits, I feel like people who are working class (like my family) really don't like this kind of style. My Hispanic church also dresses super casually. Even the non-Hispanic church also rarely sees men dressing up either.

Can Catholic women provide any feedback? Any suggested changes? This is how I'd usually dress if I was going to class or to work, so of course I understand that I don't need to wear a suit to Aldi's.

I also spent a ton of time building a digital wardrobe to quickly see different combos, so here are a few examples of what I did in February. Also, despite getting compliments in person for how I dress, I get very little attention on dating apps. However, I don't include any outfits like these on there because they're all selfies. Should I add these bathroom selfies?