***NOT LOOKING FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, but rather spiritual advice. I am not in a position to experiment with various medical interventions, as my husband works out of state 70% of the year and I have zero family or support with 3 children. BC is life saving and completely addresses the underlying issues for me at this time.***

Exactly as the title says…how do I reconcile with the relief of being 99% unable to get pregnant (3 kids, 3 c-sections, major post partum, we are done for now) and the fact that this medication is life saving for me. For years, I’ve experienced suicidal ideation, wanting to divorce my husband, and feel like running my car into a wall and ending it all from my PMDD symptoms. On birth control, I stop having a period, and PMDD vanishes. I am a better mother, wife and human, and I actually want to be alive. But I also appreciate the relief of the contraceptive effect. How do I reconcile this as a Catholic woman? Thank you.

Hola a todas, les quiero compartir esto que me ha ayudado mucho. Me da ansiedad salir a lugares y hacer cosas, y encontré las letanías de la humildad. Ahora, cada vez que empiezo a sentir esa ansiedad en público, me enfoco en algunas de ellas para sentirme un poco más en paz en el momento, y me ha servido. Entonces, las tengo en mi pantalla del cel bloqueadas para verlas en cualquier momento en que me sienta ansiosa. Hice esta imagen para que cupiera mejor y se viera más bonita y se la quiero compartir por si alguien más pasa por lo mismo.

Dios esté con ustedes!

Hi everyone, I want to share something with you that has really helped me. I get anxious going out and doing things, and I discovered the Litany of Humility. Now, whenever I start feeling that anxiety in public, I focus on a few lines from it to feel a bit more at peace in the moment, and it has really helped. I keep it on my phone's lock screen so I can see it whenever I feel anxious. I created this image so it would fit better and look nicer, and I wanted to share it in case anyone else is going through the same thing.
May God be with you!

Maria Madalena estava chorando, angustiada, Jesus estava ali e ela não percebeu, não enxergou, pois estava distraída em sua perda.

Jesus pacientemente se mostrou...

Nossa angústia pode nos cegar de como Deus tem agido em nossas vidas...

i’ve always been someone who has had several different types of friends (christian, gay, or transgender) and a lot of my friends come from different backgrounds. i try to be mutually respectful of everyone, and i want to show everyone catholic compassion. recently i have been worried particularly surrounding the topic of abortion with my friends. i see a lot of anti-abortion campaigns and sentiment online, which obviously i agree with. a lot of my friends whoever, do not. i feel anxious, like im going to somehow be attacked for supporting these beliefs (like if i like a post or sign a petition). i obviously know that lives matter more than others judgement, and this is just a part of taking the right course of action, but i am still nervous.

i am extremely non confrontational and i have social anxiety. particularly, i know one of my close friends would be extremely uncomfortable if i voiced my opinions to her. she saw a pro life gathering once and immediately was upset, and when i said that they had a right to protest (nothing else, i did not want to stir the pot), she got upset at me. today she stated that if she was pregnant, she would have gotten an abortion. obviously this made my uncomfortable, and if she was i would do everything in my power to show her that there are other options.

i guess i’m just struggling with knowing when to speak up and when to not. i love all my friends dearly but i do not support all that they believe. they also all know i am a serious catholic. i guess its just hard talking about these things in a modern world, especially because we are all in college and that scene tends to be more progressive. any advice would mean a lot.

So I’m not gonna lie I’m doing pretty badly. I’m not really sure what to do. Basically I have been dealing with depression and anxiety related to faith for over 6 months now. I have been calling it scrupulosity but I havent been officially diagnosed for OCD or anything.

One of my biggest issues is intrusive thoughts. Today is especially hard. It usually goes like this: I have a thought that is really bad, I am unsure if i consented to the thought or not, I debate this thought over and over in my head. It usually doesnt get solved and I usually give in and just go to confession to confess it or something like that. For the past month ive been able to ignore some of the thoughts and just move on with my day.

But yesterday I remembered a thought I had maybe a week ago? Its a really bad one that I wont even say, but I also dont remember its contents exactly since its been some time now. I dont really remember the context of the thought, how I reacted to it or anything lime that. But now I am in constant debate over if I consented to it or if it was an intrusive thought. Anytime I come to the conclusion that it was intrusive, my brain doesnt let it go and as soon as I feel peace it asks “no but what if it wasnt and you dont confess it and you go to hell for it”.

The reason this is so hard to not give into is because obviously nothing is worth hell, so I think “well even if it wasnt a thought I wanted, I’d just rather go confession anyway just in case its not like Im missing anything out”

I know I’ll get replies saying that I need therapy, which I agree with. I actually do have a therapist but shes on holiday right now and I we just keep missing each other this month. Also Ill be honest I dont feel like I’m getting anything from her sessions in the first place (been with her for about 4/5 months now).
Im thinking about looking for a different therapist as well but i just feel like it’ll be a lot of draining trial and error.
I have also been to a doctor to diagnose me for OCD, but it wasnt a psychiatrist and she really didnt know anything about religious OCD. I cant afford a proper psychiatrist either.

Finally, I also usually talk to my boyfriend about these things, but this time I’m so ashamed of these thoughts that that is out of the question. So im pretty alone in this.

I’m either really mentally unwell or a really bad person in denial and its driving me crazy

Finally: if I don’t have OCD, then whats is wrong with me?

Alright gang, here's one. I've been talking to a guy I met on Sacred Spark. There's a lot to like about him. He's intelligent, educated, has a decent job, treated me right on the first date. So far, we've only had one real date, and we've been texting, and I wanted to get to know him more (we're in two different cities, and he travelled). But, I've been off put by some of his behavior.

From the get go, he started calling me pet names. I took it as a cultural difference, and perhaps I have too many "icks" from my own traumatic past, so I chose to not see it as a red flag. Then, he started commenting on my looks a lot. He's not said anything egregious or negative, but I barely know the guy. I wanted to get to know him for his personality, his interests, you know, learn what makes him tick. I chose to, again, give it a chance. I know I'm not used to being flirted with, so I figured it was my own internal discomfort.

He texts me a lot. All day, every day. He's gotten very romantic very quickly. I'm worried he's sort of "idolizing" a version of me that I don't think exists. Again, I don't know him very deeply, and I want to get to know him more, but it seems he's skipped past the "talking stage" and gone directly to the "you're my princess" stage, which, again, I'm not super comfortable with.

The other day, he sent me a joke reel, but it was an inappropriate sex joke reel. I was made super uncomfortable by it, and I told him that it's not really my kind of humor. I felt as if he sent that reel implying something about us. Ever since then, I've been really put off by him, with like, everything.

I am the kind of woman who is quick to write off men because my whole mother's side of the family has had bad experiences with men, and I'm trying to learn to give people chances and be open-minded. I actually was super interested in getting to know this guy more, because, like I said, he's got a lot of great qualities. But he seems to have jumped the gun FAR too quickly, and I am torn between saying "I'm sorry, I can't go on another date, I'm just not comfortable", and "Hey, can we slow this down? I appreciate the sentiment for some of your words but... I just want to get to know you more before we jump into a real relationship." If I do the first one, I feel like I'm not giving someone a chance, but if I do the other, I feel like I'm going to try and control him and make him change for me, which I don't believe in.

Does anyone have advice on this?

Edit: Yeah I called it off. Getting a sex joke from a Catholic man who I’ve barely met crosses a line. Thanks everyone for your advice.

I know making out is a sin, but what about kissing on the lips? Can they only be brief, quick kisses or are you allowed to prolong them? I’m just confused

Anyone have a Marquette method failure using the breastfeeding protocol at <6 months postpartum? I had 5 consecutive lows followed by a peak. Prior to that, I did have strings of highs. We are anxious. Send encouragement if able!

Hi! I'm 22F and for the past 4 years, I've gone from barely religious (I was raised Christian in a passive sort of way) to currently being a catechumen. I have learned the hard way that my vocation seems to be marriage+parenting. I never thought i would want this. (Had divorced parents growing up which changed how I looked at family). I have prayed through this in these past 4 years, and the desire is here to stay, I welcome it. The problem now, is that I place it on a pedestal every now and then and neglect the spiritual side of things. I'll mope and feel sad about not having these blessings yet. Which sets me back. I really want to strengthen my personal relationship with our Lord first (and to be confirmed/baptised into the church) before I consider myself ready to start dating.

Any advice??

so I guess this is the only safe place for me to talk about this, hehe (；´∀｀)

(18 y/o female) Today I was walking home after I got off the public bus from rain and thunderstorm, and I as I reached to my neighbourhood, some older guy who I don't know said I look beautiful (which I do appreciate) and how he sees me walking alone everyday. Until it got to the point where I held unease of the fact how he was asking me for my number. I'm not the kind of person who likes low-effort dating through a number given, so I was hestitant about it and left shortly after. Althrough I do want to have a boyfriend (must be an active Catholic obviously) and to submit my life to him, I don't want to be close-off and anxious & reject oportunites the Lord has for me for my future partner given to the fact how I'm neurodivergent & have partical social anxiety. I'm not saying I hate men which I don't it's just that I feel awkward whenever some guy asks me for my number w/o even getting to know each other first. I did told my mom about what happened and she did told me it's good that I didn't give out my number to some stranger. I don't know if this is from the Lord or it just suddently happened. But I can't blame myself cuz I guess I can say I am attractive to some guys out there ┐(´∀｀)┌

What do you guys think? Do you guys think I somewhat made a good choice not giving my number to some stranger who I'm not familiar with? Cuz I'm starting to second-guess myself and not sure if I had made the right choice. And how can I discern if God wants me to be partnered with a guy by the telling signs through discernment?

Note: I'm inexperienced and am a baby Catholic just entering through the faith, and have 0 dating experience even through I do want a vocation of marriage/shared life.

my friend and I both think the current fashion trends almost look a bit catholic style 🤪, like 10 years ago we were very not cool wearing long skirts and now its cool ? also the lace everywhere, we love.

anyone else noticed it or is it just us haha

What sort of devotional art do you have in your home? Do you like more traditional art or something a bit more modern?

My favorite pieces are the sacred and immaculate heart portraits by Charles Bosseron Chambers. I also have a pink BVM statue and a vintage teal ceramic crucifix.

Does anyone have any unique pieces they want to share?

Hello! I am applying for a fellowship that would allow me to travel all over the world to interview groups about a topic of my choice. Obviously, being catholic, I’m obsessed with how women interact with pilgrimages, relics, and sacred art. Let me know if you know any groups or people who fit the bill 🙃

I (25F) have been married to my husband (30M) for almost 2.5 years. We were married 5 months after knowing each other. I was unbaptized and Protestant, he was Catholic. We did a courthouse wedding. I became Catholic to make our family more united (but now my faith is my own at this point). We got pregnant 5 months after being married. We have a lovely daughter whom we both parent very well together. No complaints there!

The issue began when my husband saw how I (I also have adhd) struggle really bad with being messy. It affects his mental state a lot. He is perpetually stressed if the house is not in order. Before the baby, I was working full time (we both were) and cooking on time, or at all, in addition to keeping the house in order is not something I did well. At all. I can admit that. I had terrible habits and with working full time and commuting on the bus/train for an hour and a half to two hours each way for work was exhausting. My husband lived away at the time for work so when he’d come home every other weekend, he was stressed and upset about the state of the house. We argued a lot because of this.

When I had the baby, I had postpartum depression and struggled again. But after about 2 months, I started to come up with a plan to do better. And also I genuinely wasn’t as depressed (or maybe I was medicated— I can’t really remember the timeline details). Since I was now a stay at home mom, I had more time (between the demands of the baby of course) to figure out my routine. That was a little over a year ago that I began to get serious about getting my routine together. I still am not perfect. My habits have changed quite a bit, and I do a lot better these days. But occasionally I’ll slip back into old ways.

My husband has an insanely high standard for cleanliness. If there’s a few things scattered about, he says the house is a mess. He also refuses to acknowledge the progress I’ve made. And he claims that over the past year and half to two years, his love (feeling) for me has slowly faded. He’s really struggling to see me in a romantic light and only sees me as a responsibility he has to care for. He’s says he sees me “as his wife” but idk what means considering the fact that he is struggling to remain feeling in love with me. That feeling has not wavered for me. Even when his worst character traits come up, my love for him doesn’t dissipate. To me, his love feels conditional. He claims it’s not, it’s just a preference. (And listed an example of how people seek out people who are x y and z all the time… but that’s not what the heck I’m talkin about lollll, I’m talkin about now that we’re here— MARRIED, do you still love me even when I’m not performing how you’d like? I feel this for for you)

Anyway… I asked about why he’s falling out of love and he claims that it’s simply me struggling to cook on time and keep the house clean (and I’ll admit, the house is his standard about 1x/week, clean to normal standards 3-5x/week and messy 2-4x/week). To me, that love is so conditional bc it’s based on my performance. Not based on who I am (which he can list actual qualities to describe who I am and that he sees that about me and appreciates it. But somehow the other stuff overshadows it??)

So my question— It’s not that simple is it guys? It’s not as simple as “once I keep the house to his standards every day, he will slowly fall back in love with me!” Right? I feel like idk how we’re gonna recover from this cuz if your feelings have faded away over a year and a half bc of my performance (or maybe even over the whole time, idk) then how will they magically come back once I start keeping things to your standard? I feel like it doesn’t make any sense. If he sees me as incompetent, how will proving my competence to him make him love me?? Love is not built on performance, it’s harvested in connection and it’s sustained in knowing and loving WHO your partner is at their core. Their essence.

Is truly possible, that he could love me again? I feel like all my efforts are turning up null and void. And it is so so so exhausting.

I’ve seen some posts on here about SSPX marriages, so I thought this might be helpful/interesting for the ladies here.

Primarily interested in hearing the views of other wives who AGREE with church teaching and love the Church, as I do. I’d rather do a “hard thing” that I don’t prefer than push boundaries - but I am curious about others opinions on this. I’ve been married 8 years and am always the lower drive spouse, my husband is amazing, patient, willing to put my pleasure first and makes great efforts to help me orgasm etc. However the daily stress of a normal day with 3 small kids - I’ve been realizing something … that I feel very disconnected from my body and thus, am not interested in sex because my mind isn’t thinking about it! Sorry this is TMI, but I just confessed “touching myself” in order to mentally get in the mood to have sex with my husband. I am truly repentant as I feel it’s masturbation even if beneficial to our sex life? However - It was amazing in that it worked for me/us!!! And that is exciting and I think pleasing to God to
Enjoy sex more
Often with your spouse - however is this allowed? Specifically, nipple stimulation in the shower or brief (obviously not orgasm) clit stimulation. Would love to hear other faithful, married women’s opinions.

Yesterday was the first day of the St. Anne Novena, and I was wondering what everyone else is praying for as their intentions. I love my intention, but I feel like I could go a little deeper with it, and I’d love to hear how others are approaching theirs.

Right now, my intention is that St. Anne would intercede for me and help lead me to a healthy, Christ centered relationship.

Look, I understand that marriage is a covenant and a covenant means you both give 100% even if the other does not. But this is getting unsustainable to the point where I’m ready to get legally divorced and live the rest of my life alone if it didn’t mean financially ruining myself because I currently live in an apartment owned by my in laws for basically nothing.

Has my husband’s behavior changed since we got married? Yeah, I definitely feel like I got bait and switched. But there were enough red flags and enough people telling me to pump the brakes to probably disqualify us from an annulment.

He’s depressed. He hates his life. I get it. But I am so tired of being his emotional and verbal punching bag. And I’m reaching my breaking point now that he’s extending that behavior to our toddler. He has zero idea about childhood psychology and development and then gets angry because the one year old “misbehaves.”

He contributes nothing: no job, no cleaning, no chores, minimal child care (our daughter is in full time daycare), and then has the nerve to lecture me on finances and being an adult. Meanwhile, I’m working myself to the bone to keep us afloat and keep the house running. He gets to live a cushy pampered life where everything is handled for him because if I let him sink, we all sink. But then he sits there and talks like he is the eternal victim and the world is constantly out to get him.

He has the nerve to say things like “you take things personally when I’m upset” and “I don’t recognize you anymore” and “when we were dating, didn’t you say a good wife should help her husband be a better person?” Like, I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m a bang-maid/cook/corporate robot and incubator. That’s all I am. I take things personally because they are personal; you’re bitching about the stuff I can’t get to because my cup is completely empty instead of being an adult who just does them because he lives here. And yes, I did say that, but you’re also supposed to help me and you don’t.

This covenant is a prison and he is my jailer tasked with torturing me. He went to therapy but nothing changed. His therapist was just like “everything is a choice, you need to choose better.” Wow, thanks Jim. What wise advice. He’s offered to do couples counseling with me, but then backs out every time I point out insurance doesn’t cover it (because everything is tied to money and if he can’t get it for cheap, it’s a scam or waste).

I used to excuse this behavior. I used to say he had bad moments but I still love him. Now? I hate him. I’m repulsed by him. I’m jealous of all my friends who got married to these wonderful men who give them fulfilling lives and are so kind and selfless. I dream of him dying young so I can be free.

This monday, I will spend a day in Rome alone as a woman. I promised to do this pilgrimage to our Lord as a thank you for helping me find a new job. I want to intentionally spend the day with Jesus there. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas?

My current plan.

Morning: Mass at St. Peter's basilica and then adoration and then maybe the purgatory museum. Followed by lunch and siesta.

Afternoon: Scala santa (i hope the spelling is correct) and ???

I have no idea what to do for dinner, I feel uncomfortable going to a restaurant alone and I don't speak much Italian. Plus, I'm not good looking so no chance to just get a random guy to invite me lol.

I will arrive in Rome on sunday in the late afternoon by train. Monday is my one full day in Rome and then i leave again by lunch time on tuesday. My hotel is close to the vatican.

I have been to Rome before and I absolutely love the city. I'm pretty good at navigating around the city on public transport. I have seen pretty much all of the things you need to see. This trip should be a true pilgrimage and not a sightseeing tour, at least that's the idea...

I have never taught a single thing, and I am volunteering to teach CCD this fall. Myself and someone else will be working with 5th and 6th graders. So if you’ve taught CCD, what have your experiences been like?

I’m 20F and throughout my entire life, I’ve never wanted children. I simply don’t have a maternal instinct or desire to have children. I see motherhood as a beautiful thing, but I’m repulsed when I think of myself as a mother. Additionally, I struggle with mental health and stress. Because of this, I have strong reason to believe I wouldn’t be a competent mother. But I’ve always wanted to get married. I want a husband so bad, but I really don’t think I’d ever be open to having children. Does this mean I should be single and celibate for life?

Como fazer isso?

Saí de um relacionamento com muita dependência emocional, chantagens, caos e tudo mais

Sou uma pessoa que me auto questiono muito

Além das questões de beleza, existem as questões de atitude

Me sinto uma impostora

Ele diz pra eu me valorizar

Não sei como

Ele fala isso na direção espiritual

It’s been a 4 month work in progress but I finally finished it!

Do any of you parochial school moms have any insight into Catholic academy entrance exams?

We made the very sudden decision to enroll our homeschooler in our parish academy. We had originally planned to transition him out of homeschooling by sending him to a micro school this year, but too many red flags started popping up. When I called our parish academy, they told me they had just had a spot open up the day before (divine intervention?!), so we're jumping on the opportunity.

That said...I'm feeling a little unprepared. Had I known this was the direction we were headed, I would have spent more time over the summer keeping his academic skills fresh.

He's taking the entrance exam tomorrow as a rising 5th grader.

Like many homeschoolers, his academics aren't perfectly linear. Last year his core curriculum was 4th grade, but he was working through 3rd grade math while also reading high school-level books. He writes beautifully in cursive, is an excellent speller, is endlessly curious, and loves creative writing. Informative writing is probably the area that needs the most refinement.

He also took the NWEA MAP assessment and scored around the 30th percentile in both math and ELA. The math result was about what I expected, but the ELA score surprised me. I honestly think some of it was the testing platform itself—he's only taken one standardized test in his life and has very little experience with that format. After doing some practice tests with him, I noticed that he was either not reading the instructions completely or was just picking the first thing that looked semi-correct, when there may have been a more completely-correct answer.

All of that to say...I am stressingabout tomorrow's entrance exam.

For those of you whose children attend Catholic schools, how difficult are the entrance exams? What are they really looking for? If a child is a little behind grade level in one or two subjects but clearly capable and eager to learn, is that typically a deal-breaker?

I fully expect there to be some growing pains as he adjusts from homeschooling to a classroom environment, but he's a bright, capable kid, and I have no doubt he'll thrive once he settles into the rhythm of school.

My biggest concern is that he simply doesn't test well. He never has. He tends to freeze, and I'm worried the entrance exam will be a poor reflection of what he actually knows.

Any insight or reassurance would be so appreciated. ❤️

Edit to add: we are in the diocese of Orlando of that is helpful to anyone.