How can I meet my toddler's needs when what she needs is for me to be next to her all the time? I cannot wear her because she hates it. I also cannot keep the house clean enough that we won't get sick (because I've accepted my house will be constantly a bit dirty and always a mess) while holding her. I cannot cook while holding her. And if I'm not right next to her, she screams her head off and it makes me want to punch myself in the face. I cannot do anything, and it's been like this for over a year, I'm losing it. And my husband does even more than I can, so it's not like I'm doing this alone.

I've spent this entire morning doing stuff, cooking, cleaning, tidying up a bit, and she's been next to the baby gate screaming. Just screaming. How am I supposed to do this? Should the dishes just stay dirty? Should I just skip my breakfast and give her some ultra processed food? What about the mess that's going to bring ants? I don't know what to do.

Edit: I've had some time to calm down a bit, meaning I cried while reading her a story, and I realised that she was actually playing by herself most of the time I was busy. She started to scream at me for the last 20 minutes or so. I'm just so exhausted.

Hello everyone,

​I’m looking for some advice, encouragement, or real success stories because my heart is breaking and my head is spinning with guilt.

​My son is 19 months old. He is breastfed (always nursed to sleep and during the night) and we have co-slept since birth. We live abroad in Germany with zero family around, so he’s deeply attached to me and his dad.

​He started Kita (daycare) 3 months ago. He actually enjoys playtime in the garden, eating with the kids, and he loves his teachers. But when it comes to naptime, it’s been a struggle. They tried putting him to sleep a few weeks ago without success, so I kept picking him up at 12:30 PM.

​Today, we are trying again for the 2:00 PM pickup. My heart feels so small right now.

​Because I am currently not working (though I’m actively looking for a new job, doing house stuff, thinking about a second baby, and honestly haven't even had time for basic self-care like blood work or a massage in two years), the guilt is consuming me:

​Is it really necessary or good for him to sleep there right now if I’m at home?

​Am I "ruining" his ability to sleep by still nursing him to sleep at home? Will he EVER sleep without the breast?

​Am I traumatizing him by letting the teachers try to settle him?

​How do I settle my own mind and make peace with this decision?

​If I had a strict 9-to-5 job right now, I wouldn't have the space to overthink this—it would be an absolute necessity. But since I'm at home, I keep questioning if I'm doing the right thing for his age.

​Has anyone been through this with a high-needs, breastfed toddler? Did they eventually figure out how to nap at daycare while still nursing/co-sleeping at home?

​Thank you so much for reading. 🤍

Am I the only one who feels like if you value/choose attachment parenting, your choices are undermined the second you have any sort of complaint?

I love attachment parenting with my 4 month old. It feels so intuitive for me, and it’s absolutely the best choice for our family. I love breastfeeding on demand, baby and I both LOVE contact naps, room sharing at night (and the occasional bed sharing oops), taking her everywhere with me, no childcare, simply because I don’t want to be away from her, other than grandparents (who want to be babysitting and also value their relationship with baby). We are in love and I regret nothing.

BUT. I feel so alone in my journey of motherhood. I have a lot of friends with babies, none of which practice much of the same values.

If I say I’m tired, I’m hit with “she should be sleeping in a different room and cry it out” If I say breastfeeding through the night is tiring, I get “gasp oh no she shouldn’t be waking up to feed anymore maybe you should switch to bottles/formula” If I complain I didn’t get much done today, I get “you really need to be crib napping her so you can do the things you love doing before you became a mother” etc.

Okay. Can’t I love and value these precious moments and time I’ll never get back with my baby *and* feel that it’s hard?

Our 18-month-old will be starting daycare this fall. Our long-term plan is for them to attend every other day until they turn 3. However, we've heard from several people that inconsistent attendance can make the adjustment period harder, especially at the beginning.

We're wondering if it would be better to have our child attend every weekday for a while to establish a routine, and then switch to the every-other-day schedule once they're settled.

Does that sound like a good approach? If you've done something similar (or work in childcare), how long would you keep the daily schedule before transitioning to every other day?

I'd love to hear your experiences and any advice. Thanks!

Me and my partner attachment parent. Because of this I do feel like our mental health has suffered. We dont regret our decision to raise our son that way its just we didnt realise how much it was going to take from us. This is all fine, knowing we're raising our boy with love and comfort. However, we were always going to have another baby but now the thought of doing all this again... i dont know if we can Its been so hard. I dont know if i could even put the same amount of devotion to another child i feel like id be stretched so thin.

We co sleep on a floorbed, partner in his own room. I EBF, and fed on demand. He's 14 months now so obvs on solids. We contact napped and still do, unless I can roll away.

If you went from 1 to 2, how was it?

If you kept at 1, are you happy with you decision?

​

Li vários posts aqui sobre isso, mas senti a necessidade de compartilhar minha história também, para descobrir como lidar com a situação.

Nosso relacionamento completaria 8 anos em setembro e temos uma filha de 3 anos.

Nosso relacionamento já teve muitas desavenças, principalmente por ciúmes e falta de comunicação. Depois que nossa filha nasceu, as coisas só pioraram. Ao longo do último ano, estivemos perto de terminar algumas vezes, mas, por causa da minha persistência, continuamos juntos. Estávamos bem — ele até tinha começado a dizer que me amava novamente — e então, de repente, devido ao estresse de ambos os lados, ficamos cerca de 3 dias conversando apenas quando necessário. Ontem ele veio falar comigo, dizendo que o objetivo da conversa era terminar, mas que ele não ia realmente fazer isso. Ele conseguiu me fazer perder a paciência, jogar meu anel no chão e sair. Então começamos a conversar sobre uma separação de verdade e como lidaríamos com as coisas em relação à nossa filha... mas estou arrasada. Eu o amo muito e não queria que nossa família terminasse assim. Fico pensando muito em como minha filha vai reagir e aceitar isso com o passar do tempo. Estou me sentindo péssima — mal consigo comer e estou com pressão alta. Hoje mandei uma mensagem para ele perguntando se ele concordaria em dar um tempo, mesmo que fosse só por um mês, para que pudéssemos nos acalmar e tentar de novo — pela nossa família, pela nossa filha. Ele ainda não me respondeu; não sei se ele vai responder ou simplesmente me ignorar.

Alguém já passou por algo parecido e poderia me dar algum conselho, por favor? Estou me sentindo tão perdida, preocupada com a minha filha e completamente de coração partido.

Does anyone else’s baby get separation anxiety upset from FaceTime?

I’m new to co-parenting a 10 month old (who has separation anxiety) while going through a contentious divorce. Today was her first full day away from me with her father who she hasn’t seen in person for a few months (I didn’t get every thing I wanted in the temporary visitation agreement so we’ve done outside the court order to get her used to him with short visits prior to this). She was upset for much of the day according to my mother who brought her to the public visitation meeting place (to be there if she’s needed but hang back). She has recordings of her crying at different points. I believe that the visitation schedule ordered is way too abrupt given the circumstances.

I did a FaceTime and the baby started crying and got red in the face. The father and his mom immediately documented on Our Family Wizard and text that it was the “only time she cried today” (not sure if that’s to try and paint me as a bad mother). I told them I had evidence that is untrue but that we just need to help her adjust. But I feel bad that she cried and I also fear another narrative will be twisted that she doesn’t like me or something.

Is separation anxiety on FaceTime real?

I am going to be going back to work in Sept of 2027. My daughter was born in July 2025 (just turned one!) I am an extended breastfeeder. My first breastfed for 4.5 years and my second for 3 years. I did manage to work while breastfeeding - never pumped just fed when I was home. I also cosleep. My daughter co sleeps for almost all of her naps now.

What can I do a year out to prepare my daughter for my return to work? When I went back with my other 2 I remember feeling wildly unprepared, however they spent the day with a grandparents for at least my first year back to work. She spend a few hours a week with her grandparents. She will be going to daycare when I go back to work, the place my other 2 went to.