She herself is diagnosed with autism. Before she was she knew she was and thought I was too. I said I wasn't and she said get tested because I have black and white thinking and I talk blunt

I told her I talk blunt when I'm joking or it's a statement and I talk blsck and white when I'm upset. Then I looked up black and white thinking and it's not how I think. I thought black and white thinking was overexaggerating one extreme with another but its also believing that extreme. Many times I talk the extreme cause it's the only way to get my point across but I dont believe it.

She told me she analysed my thinking and that she can predict a conversation with me which i find extreme creepy.

She also used thr 'all autistic people i know like sonic' when apparently autistic people are attracted to sonic for a different reason to me.

She claims my obsession with a celebrity is a hyperfixation when I just find him good looking.

She also says me feeling different from other people is autism when I later found out it was dysphoria.

My socia anxiety which I developed before meeting her she also says is autism.

I have no sensory issues, I understand between the lines and thats kinda the way I talk myself, I never shut up and I love talking ans have an endless social battery. I never stick to plans and routines unless important ans necessary. And the way I communicate and interpret your actions it's depending on my relationship with you. I know she prefers deeper talks so I talk deep with her. But when I talk deep I use more analogies and metaphors. I dont like deep convo all thr time cause it's unnecessary.

She also forces me to think in a grey area all thr time and I said sometimes things are straightforward ans she said that I never think grey when I do by ruling out possibilities to get to that 'black and white' pattern

Please help me i dunno how to stop her from forcing that label on me

Hi there.

My boyfriend is autistic and recently it’s getting worse with his anxiety specially due to work and people at work.

If I have to describe my boyfriend, I must say that he is very good at what he does. He’s very particular about anything he does. He is very detailed and he does his work amazingly.

At work the higher ups are like high school bullies. It isn’t easy for someone who is autistic to work and to think straight when the manager or supervisors are all a joke. They are avoidant to Health and Safety, avoiding employees needs when addressed on 1 to 1 meetings. Never fixing problems and only dealing with it last minutes. I can keep going on and on.

I must say that all this experience has led me to believe that my boyfriend is the most normal than anybody else working there. He simply wants to resolve problems, work smoothly. Have a brilliant communication within the company, and not complicate things.

But because of this lifestyle and scenarios in his life, it’s getting really difficult for him to cope with the stress.

I would like to simply ask that if there is a solution to overcome the ruminating thoughts that he has so that he doesn’t have to to feel the burden and can be nonchalant and avoid all this bullshit. I want the best for him because I care for him because he is genuinely a good person. I know a good person when I see one

Thank you

I'm trying to understand what sensory overload feels like because my daughter experiences it a lot. I'd be really grateful if anyone could share their personal experience with it.

My daughter started having problems that I was aware of when she was 12, she is now 39. Back then there was no knowledge about autism, at least not in our small part of the world. All the drs said it was just depression and anxiety. Not unusual for her age group, especially with going through puberty and also the changing of social situations at school. That began a decades long journey to multiple psychiatrists and therapist and an ever growing list of medications that didn’t work and were very difficult for her to get off of.
Despite all of this she managed to go out of state to college, at which time she started depending on alcohol and very, very heavy masking. She graduated came back to Texas and worked in different locations, in her field.
She now is experiencing extreme burnout. She hasn’t worked at all for the last year, goes hardly anywhere, and finds pleasure in nothing and has zero friends. She also has fibromyalgia and is in pain a lot of the time. Her father and I are 66/67 and taking care of her and her debts and medical bills. We’ve recently tried going in hormones to try to help with some of her issues. The problem now is that she has become so super sensitive to all medications nothing works even a little. I fear that’s she’s about to really lose all hope. I know I am as well. She doesn’t want to ever see another doctor or try anything new again. It has been countless attempts always ending in great disappointments. I’m truly scared and don’t have a clue what to do anymore. Is there no doctor that truly cares for their patients? Enough to go on their journey with them. To be in it for the long haul and not just pass them off to someone else to get rid of them because they can’t shove a pill at them and make them better? I am hopeless and scared. She’s never done anything wrong or hurt anyone. She’s so smart and talented but doesn’t have the strength to keep going through the motions

So I need help understanding if this is a issue or if this is something I should just let go? Your insight is so helpful

I have a teenage daughter who just got diagnosed with autism and adhd. She wears the exact same camo shirt every single day (she does change/wash them so they are clean but they are identical shirts)

Me and my husband want her to branch out a little so people don’t think she’s wearing a dirty shirt day after day, she says she will wear a green shirt but she needs us to buy 5 of the exact same shirt (and she won’t do that and wear camo on other days)

For some reason she only feels comfortable wearing one style / color of shirt and wants us to buy duplicates and just wear a clean one each day,

Can anyone explain why that might be she says she doesn’t care about clothes and doesn’t care if people think she is wearing the same shirt, she doesn’t like to think about what she wears

Any advice??

Hello,

I work in a school library and I just had a professional development session run by another library staff member. So she had this whole slide show about autism and pathologic demand avoidance. One thing she stated is that because PDA isn't officially a diagnosis we won't know if children have it or not so it is best practice to always use declarative statements and language when talking to students that have or are suspected to have autism. For example, instead of saying "Don't run in the library" when someone is running, just say "walking" or "we walk in the library". And starting with like "I'm wondering if it's it's time to pack up or "i'm thinking it's..." Basically nothing that is or could be perceived as a request to do or not do something. Just indirectly imply what they should do to reduce anxiety about being told what to do.

I'm just wondering if this is really something all autistic young people would be prefer to be spoken like? I'm talking like...10-16 year olds, but also younger children. I've found that in the past students with autism have responded to my pretty clear and blunt way of speaking, setting rules and boundaries, but now I'm just wondering if I've been causing them anxiety this whole time and whether I should modify how I speak to them?

Anyone have any thoughts?

As far as I am aware, I am neurotypical, but I keep finding autistic advice/experience videos and weirdly relating to them. Does this mean I may actually be autistic or is this a normal thing for neurotypicals to do? I am somehat introverted which may be why I relate, but is that the sole reason?

I have been with my boyfriend for like 3 years and we have ups and downs like any couple would. I have adhd and my boyfriend has level 2 autism and I am very understanding and I understand his autism more then he does himself I believe as he makes fun of himself for it. I think I tend to overwhelm him because I put words to his feelings that he doesn’t even realize that. However I believe he can live without me and be w/o but I love him so much and he loves to be alone and me I need his company I’m very attached, I can manage to be alone for awhile but then I want his company but he isn’t like that. Now when I say he can be without me I mean he can probably be without me for a month or longer and be like oh.. I haven’t heard from my girlfriend in awhile he never initiates anything and I know he is bad at that due to his anxiety of that and just doesn’t think too due to it not being in his routine however I only initate and plan everything and when he will do the plans I suggest it’s only something he’s comfortable with such as staying inside or etc which is fine I’m fine with that but he will only do it every other week or maybe every once a month because he’s so burnt out and just wants to be alone and decompress I believe, I honesty am just assuming because he’s doesn’t tell me his feelings half of the time when I ask him why he doesn’t want to hangout or something he ignores me or says idk. However I need quality time with my boyfriend. For context two weeks before my birthday he didn’t text me for two weeks because he kept getting rejected from jobs and was moving his room and was stressed and forgot about me. I don’t know what to do because when I ask to hangout he’s always like no and I try to be like okay what if I come to ur house and he’s like no and I’m like okay i understand you really don’t wanna leave your house but we will just be in the house and I just really want to spend time with you and lay in bed and play games (which he loves games) and he still says no or says I’m tired or my head hurts and i understand but he can sleep in my bed and we can cuddle (he loves to cuddle )and he’s comfortable with staying inside I just don’t think he’s comfortable with the transition of going place to place. Like for example he cancelled on our anniversary and we played Roblox for 5 mins because he wanted to be alone

My coworker are cool and I would love to be friends. The problem is when im at work im in work mood. We make some small talk but it hasn't got to friendship level yet. I know your supposed to take it slow but I can't help but be envious of the trio at my work place I've been there for 2 months now.

Reflection:

I avoid mentioning that I have autism. Yes, I'm never going to tell my parents about this. But there are also other nuances... I now officially have Asperger's syndrome, meaning it's no longer something I made up. Yes, this is Russia, it's not safe to spread out like this, it's a bad idea and there won't be any approval. But.. There are nuances. I don't mention my autism even when it seems like "it went that way," "it would be on the topic," or "it seems appropriate." Yes, even if it definitely doesn't threaten me, for example, when people are adequate and I've known them for a while. Or when it's an internet conversation. Well, it definitely won't affect my reputation. It might cause a culture shock, yes. It will require clarification, yes, probably. But no, I don't open the bread slicer. I can tell people that I have autism, but I'd rather do it like "confided in a secret" or "confided in something personal." It's always a "personal dialogue." After the diagnosis, I told 2 people. One of whom knew before that. I knew about dianosis for 4 years and told you...for two people in real life. 2m from the Internet... That seems to be all.

And I'm thinking... Is this an internal abilism? Good question... I've been thinking. Why am I not talking? As if it's something secret or embarrassing or personal. Yes, even if I say it in such a "personal" dialogue..then it's a kick-ass, I'll be ashamed later and I'll talk about whether I should have said, and whether it wasn't superfluous. And whether it was possible to avoid this information... Well, it seems to be even relevant questions...but it seems like a lot of things can be explained indirectly, but people don't do it. Maybe I don't want to be the person who inserts the phrase that I have autism at every opportunity. Yes, I told A**** and when I asked later if it was worth telling..he said that well, he understood something better, but little had changed for him except respect (which confused me) and it would be possible not to talk about the diagnosis and explain it differently. Ooooh, how much shame and reflection that he might be right and I shouldn't have said. And that it would be necessary to explain it indirectly somehow. As in his phrase "I feel that way."

Is it possible to answer my question in an explanatory way? Well, I myself understand that everything is subtle and there is hardly anything objective here. But I still need an answer... What do I want? Probably...to hear an external point of view. Understand what causes this mess. Maybe...Why am I acting like this? And maybe look at some general patterns. I guess I'm interested in listening to anything on the subject...the real experience of real people.

So, when i was young i was tested three times and my parents were told "he'll grow out of it", at 18 i was retested and was diagnosed, my parents don't believe i have autism and think i have adhd instead which means i can never say anything about my autism to them without them telling me i'm using it as an excuse and am just lazy. Around the same time i was diagnosed with autism i was diagnosed with depression, one of the main reasons being that i told them i don't want to be alive. The reason for that is that just exsisting makes me exhausted, as you might be able to guess by username i'm always tired, in my head, if i were to not be alive i wouldn't have to deal with all of the annoying and boring things that make me so tired. I've been constantly tired for about 8 years now with it getting worse and worse as time goes on, i've been put on antidepressants for a few months now and my psychiatrist has said that i should be feeling at least a little better by now and that she has no idea why i'm not, recently while not being able to sleep i was just googling about both my being tired and my autism when i read about autistic burnout and a lot of what i read sounded like a lot of the problems i was having, so i'm curious what others that may know more about this stuff than me think about this.

a question as the title says but is anyone here diagnsoed autism but doesn't care about it like almsot like the diagnosis is invisible or that it doesn't bother or change their life. Even say the people around them like family just never cared that you have autism and that you will never be excused in life and have to do everything else and be damanded to be capable in doing many things.

Puedo hablar un poco sobre cada tema, pero no sé cómo desarrollarlo. Tengo una cultura general buena.

Las conversaciones conmigo son distantes.

No sé cómo terminar las frases; suelo terminarlas con un silencio, sin obtener respuesta ni generar incomodidad.

Es muy extraño que sienta buena conexión con una persona; normalmente, el 95% de la gente me incomoda, sin importar si son hombres o mujeres, nerds o populares.

Me intimidan las personas muy extrovertidas.

Tengo una empatía extrema. Sé muy bien cuándo suelto un montón de información innecesaria; suelo hacerlo cuando hablamos de un tema relacionado, intentando aportar algo pensando que ayudaré, pero al final solo son frases vacías que no aportan nada y parezco pedante o raro. Ayer hubo una mujer loca en una reunión que estuvo hablando durante una hora y media sobre sus viajes por México o Asia (un auténtico torrente de información), una hora y media aburrida (no exagero) para cinco personas (, todos nos miraban con cara de aburrimiento, aunque después no la despreciaron y nadie contaba conmigo. Me doy cuenta enseguida si me aburro. Mis discursos son muy cortos y relacionados con el tema a tratar, pero aun así...

Me doy cuenta de que, por mucho que haya intentado vivir o haya tenido experiencias en la vida (viajes, restaurantes, experiencias, deportes, rutas de montaña), estoy a años luz de cualquier neurotípico.

Intento complacer algo que sé que es un error, intento aportar algo sobre los gustos de otra persona, pero da igual, nunca me contestan o lo hacen de forma vaga. Da igual que intente complacer o me quede callado, genero rechazo. Soy feo, hay que decirlo, pero me cuido. Tener un físico masculino artificial es lo peor que le puede pasar a un hombre con autismo parcial o síndrome de Asperger, porque los demás te odian aún más.

Actualizaré a medida que me acuerde.

Heya friends, AuDHD girly here with an AuDHD partner. Im more ADHD and hes more on the autistic presenting side. So we relate a lot but present and experience neurology differently. ETA for context: we're both in our early 30s and have been together 2 and half years now.

Since his confirmation of diagnosis, he's been in the struggle/acceptance phase. Hes known but like the gravity of it is think is finally hitting him. Ive been trying to be as supportive and considerate as possible in this time: Im sort of going through the same thing, i can empathize.

Heres the current issue Im struggling with: When hes overwhelmed and whatnot, he has meltdowns, naturally. I understand what they are and why they happen and i let him have his space when these things happen. Ive tried to ask what he needs from me in those moments and since he's unsure himself at the moment, i give space.

The other reason i give space is because his meltdowns can be very triggering for me. Im recovering from absuive relationships and PTSD. The yelling, the occassional throwing/destroying stuff, while Id say it used to just kinda roll off me...its been more frequent lately as hes become more stressed, and its beginning to wear on me. My nervous system feels shot, and Im beginning to hit a point where i feel like I need to leave the house, not just the room, when it happens now. Ive had a few regression episodes even recently, which has made me feel devastated about my healing journey. I dont blame him, but I am beginning to feel some building resentment and fear and i dont want those feelings associated with him. I would like to emphasize very clearly he has not hurt me. I dont think he ever would, i think hed hurt himself first, honestly.

Idk how to go about this in a way that holds his needs in consideration but also honors my needs and boundaries. I honestly think he needs more support from his care team but i would never tell someone else how to do their therapy. Like i said, my current thought is to just say "Hey, love you, Im feeling really overwhelmed right now and you seem like you need some space, Im Just gonna head out for 20-30 minutes and then come back, ok? Everythings fine, i just need to be somewhere else right now." But...im afraid thats not helpful? Idk. I was hoping for some perspectives and maybe some advice here. I dont want him to feel abandoned and rejected but i also cant be a passive observer to these anymore. Im too exhausted and strung out.

What do you guys think?

My (24F) husband (26M) is autistic, and we're stuck in a cycle that I don't know how to break.
He has a history of leaving or losing jobs because the work environment ends up being a really bad fit. Sometimes it's toxic management, unrealistic expectations, sensory overload, or just working conditions that become unbearable for him. Other times there are conflicts that make it impossible for him to stay.
Now we're at the point where his résumé has a lot of short-term jobs, and I know that's a red flag for employers.
Part of me has wondered if people even verify résumés anymore, or if I should help him restructure it somehow so it doesn't immediately get tossed. I'm not looking to commit fraud or lie about experience, but I also don't know how to present his work history in a way that gives him a fair chance.
Has anyone else dealt with this either as someone who's autistic or as the partner of someone who is? How did you handle the résumé, job searching, or finding work that was actually sustainable?
If there are resources, job types, or strategies that worked for you, I'd really appreciate hearing about them. I feel like I'm missing something, and I honestly don't know who to ask anymore.

I'm curious if anyone here has experienced any challenges navigating their own nuerotype vs their partners and what if any have been the biggest hang ups in the relationship.
I'll go first. My wife started a biking community that has garnered a pretty large following and as time has gone on has taken a large chunk out of our personal time. While it is amazing that she created this community the constant activities that spring up last minute because she's forgot about the obligation she made or thought she told me about has caused some issues in the relationship. While she loves the socializing of these events I'm often left out because aside from generally not enjoying social events also do not find much in common with people in this community. Does anyone have any similar experiences here?