Title is pretty self explanatory, i just started experimenting with different things like mdma, shrooms, that sort of thing this summer with a bunch of my friends that I’ve been raving with for years, but I’m about to go back this fall for my junior year at my SEC school that’s pretty conservative about this kind of stuff.
Before I began experimenting, I would hear of people doing cocaine here and when u heard of someone doing it, it was incredibly frowned upon and was “big news”. Granted I know of a bunch of people that do shrooms here, smoke a lot of weed, lots of people have drinking problems, but coming back to school after going to all of my raves this summer I have a lot of anxiety.
When I’m with my friends and in the rave scene, I’m pretty comfortable because people don’t judge u there, but going back to school for some reason I feel like everyone’s gonna be looking at me with a giant sign that says I do drugs on my back.
I guess this anxiety really is honestly ramping up because I just took a few friends from college who don’t really rave to a wooli show because they’ve been telling me they wanted to go to one of these things for a while, and I asked them if they wanted to try any of the things I had, and they said no, but the way they said it kind of threw me off, and then later in the night I asked if they wanted to go to afters and they again turned it down but they seemed kind of uncomfortable in the way they said it despite seeming like they had a super fun time throughout the night.
I’ve never dealt with this kind of anxiety before, because usually I don’t care what others think, I mean this is my life not theirs why would I limit my experiences because of a select few people’s judgement, but now that I’m actually going back knowing people from my school have been talking about my festival and rave goings (my Instagram stories always get 100+ reshares when I post me at them, but there’s never any suspicious behavior in the videos) I feel like everyone’s gonna think something bad of me or I’m gonna feel isolated from groups.