TLDR; Seeing an Asian friend's dating app messages cooked my mental health because it showed me that my struggles are my fault. He doesn't have enough time to go on dates with his matches while I struggle to get matches. If anyone has any advice for how to improve my dating app results and match with more white women please let me know.

I knew that there are Asian guys out there that get plenty of matches on dating apps but seeing his messages just cooked me. I didn't know that dating is this easy for some Asian guys, he had white girls offering him sex just to spend more time with him. I know this should motivate me as an Asian guy but instead it had the opposite effect and when I went home I kinda just broke down. Then recently he started sending me some of his messages on the apps to help me and honestly it just makes me feel shittier about myself.

I made a mental list of things I could work on to try to replicate his dating results. The biggest change would be to get into that slightly muscular build with a six pack that he has going on. He showed me some of the supplements I could take and the general gym routine I need to do. Then he said that getting a septum ring made a lot of girls into him and I think his tattoos do too. I'm not sure about getting piercings but I've always had a list of tattoos that I wanted to get so maybe I'll just finally get them. We're about the same height and he's probably a lot better looking but hopefully once I lean out my face and jawline will look better.

If you go to the insta mike.or.mikey and go to the May 15 post/reel he interviews about 10 wasians. 9/10 are from an Asian mom and white dad.

I see quite a few post mentioning that WFs sometimes don’t think AMs are attracted to them. If thats the case, what can AMs do to signal that they ARE open to dating WF?

So, is two months too soon to say I love you? Probably. Obviously. How stupid can we be?

He said it, then I said it. And now we can’t keep apart.

Never did I imagine growing up that I would fall in love with someone who was born on the opposite side of the planet (I’m bad at Geography❤️).

He cooks for me, he listens to me, he doesn’t care if I’m bloated or if I’m not wearing makeup. He always asks about my parents - my parents are honestly obsessed with him more than me. I think if they could meet for lunch without me, they would.

Girls, I know the apps fucking suck, but honestly. This was my first time seriously trying the apps in a metropolitan, international area outside of my shitty dead-end backwards town I was reared in, and I got my eyes opened.

Don’t be scared of what’s out there or what anybody else thinks. I moved to the local city a few years back and I’m still shedding some of that negative small town mindset where everybody has something to say. And I’m from the UK - racism here is at an all time high. Look at twitter, it’s just insane. Everybody is just on there saying crazy nonsense.

I’m glad there are groups like this for interracial couples. I’m fortunate my parents couldn’t give a shit and my racist grandma died years ago (RIP Ethel), but I’m well aware in certain areas we do get certain looks.

Best of luck to the rest of you, and do your thing! I’m doing mine. And I’m happier for it. Don’t you worry.

Happy Friday! What foods from certain cultures would complement another well as a fusion? And what food idea can you think of?

These days I am into the idea of Vietnamese and Mexican fusion. The reason is because there’s lots of similarities to those cultures when it comes to food.

Food ideas: Elote Banh Xeo, Pho tacos, Bún bò huế birria.

Not sure I explained well but basically people have said to have white guy friends so that WFs will be like “oh he has white friends so he must be into WFs or comfortable with them”

Right now I mainly have Asian friends. Nothing against them but would like to diversify my friends so that even in dating app photos or IG photos, I have group pics with white friends (good example is Bowen Wang on IG). All this considering it is also hard to make new friends as a guy in his 30s…

Firstly, in wider society, and secondly in the AMWF community.

Hope I don't offend anyone here, but I've been a bit self conscious about my eyes (they're kind of small 'laterally', and a bit small vertically, but with glasses I fear they come across as a bit beady). I don't like wearing contacts and can't afford laser. My family have mostly larger eyes (Singaporean Malaysian of mostly Southern Chinese descent). Anyway, I think my internalised racism makes it hard for me to feel attractive in public, or very self conscious, which probably translates to not appearing as confident. I can grow a full beard, have defined features though, and get told in Asia Im quite handsome. I know it sounds silly and shallow, and I'm getting to an age where it doesn't matter so much, but I wonder of Asians who look TOO different from the Caucasian standard find it harder, in the general dating market. Like it makes sense, right?

I know in the amwf community some even prefer that, which again my internalised self hate can find hard to imagine. It's a sort of colonial mindset, which is quite sad. Even in Asia you have men and women getting surgery to look less Asian or more European.

But I wonder if a bit more Caucasian or mixed looking Asians here have had better luck, or do they just ID you as Asian and put a wall up anyway?

Of course I get why that isn't the case. The physical is inseparation from other other negative ascribed qualities, and there's years of negative conditioning, but..

People say Asian women are so fetishised, and they are to a degree, but in the US, Aus etc, the vast majority of idealised figures - celebs, models etc - are still Caucasian. In the US you maybe had a few more Latinos, lighter skinned black people, but overall. Yes you had the odd Lucy Liu (whose appeal I don't get, I can think of far more attractive Asian female celebs), but its like most Americans of ANY race, male or female, didnt grow up looking up to representations of Asian beauty.

So if we're just talking the US etc, if there's say, a Chinese American man who's pretty much American culturally, attractive, a good person, successful, interesting etc, why is he at a greater disadvantage than the equivalent woman?

I think obviously there's the stereotypes, but the big factor is simply men have fewer options, so you'll have more men being less picky. I suppose the outlier is black women, but a lot of black women themselves don't date white for a number of reasons.

I've been to Hawaii, and might just for a holiday, so this question is more out ot curiosity.

Since Hawaii is majority Asian descent by population, what is the general situation with interracial dating, especially AMWF? Do most stick with their ethnicity, or is there a lot of mixing? I would assume Caucasian Hawaiians would be more open to dating Asians due to both acclimatisation and options. Would that be correct? Anyone with any experience? I do know a lot of Hawaiians are 'mixed.'

So long story short I was a very active woman here on reddit and it's amwf subs trying to find my one for years. Thing is I didn't find him on here or reddit in general but from a dating app that I was also using for 6+ years. Turned out that he crossed my path the moment I decided to give it all up and spend a loner life and we both even to this day can't believe how we actually met through that app on that specific moment we both decided to be more active on it. It's been already a few months of our encounter and us being in a relationship as well, couldn't be happier♥️. Hopefully this comes across to people who have been struggling finding their one after many years and a lot of tries. Sending good vibes your way guys ✨

Ps. He's fully asian and he coincidentally lives in my country even if he's not close to me. I'm also a bbw and he loves everything about me, so I wanna also share to my beautiful bigger girls that it's not impossible even if it's taking forever! I've realized that anything is possible in this life! Good luck guys 🤞

Me (F19) and my boyfriend (M20) have been dating for about a year now. I’m from the rural South in the U.S., and he’s from Beijing, China. We met right before starting college, and we both attend the same university. I didn’t realize until later that, from my understanding, it isn’t very common in Chinese culture to meet your significant other’s parents until the relationship is quite serious. In the U.S., though, it’s pretty common to meet the parents early on just to get to know them. My parents have met pretty much every guy I’ve ever gone on a date with.
For the first year of our relationship, I never met or even spoke to his parents, mainly because they were still living in China. This summer, they came to the U.S. while my boyfriend is taking summer classes. I live about two hours away, but every few weeks I drive up and stay with them for a couple of days. It’s honestly been such a great experience. I had no idea what to expect since I’d never even talked to them before, and I’d heard the stereotype that it can be difficult to connect with Chinese in-laws. But it’s been even better than I could have imagined. They’re incredibly kind people and wonderful parents to my boyfriend. It makes me so happy knowing that, if everything works out, I’ll be marrying into such a great family LOL. I guess the point of this post was just to share a happy AMWF moment and maybe give other couples something to look forward to when it comes to meeting the parents. 😅

It's pretty ambigious/vague to me when people say 'Us AMs struggle dating in the west' and I really don't know if it's dating in terms of finding a WF or 'woman of every race'

My FIL is a true deadbeat. Became a father (again) at 50 nearly 8 years ago and married his now wife because he knocked her up. She brought a daughter from a previous relationship into the marriage. He had cheated on my MIL when they were married and other women he's been with. My husband believes it is possible that his dad has fathered a number of fatherless kids every year he's been back to Vietnam before COVID.

Recently, my husband helped his dad with moving his family to a new home. While moving, my FIL admitted he has some $$ hiding that he needs to get before his wife discovers it. My husband is not dumb to his father's personal problems, but plays dumb when he asks him why he has that money. He admits that he needs a safety net in case his wife leaves him for a BETTER MAN. My husband joked and asked if his dad ever considered he is the bad man. His dad did not respond to that.

But, then the AMWF comment.

My FIL said, "Well, you'll never have to worry about your wife leaving you because WF love is real and true."

My mind was kinda blown that my FIL said that because he once told my husband that I am not a traditional woman and I need to stay at home and cook and clean the house. I laughed so hard when my husband told me. My FIL's wife doesn't stay home as she is the main breadwinner while he "takes care of the kids" and works "part-time."

Anyways, just sharing. My life with my in-laws is definitely not boring.

Edit: Clarity. FIL became a father again at 50.

Recently I keep getting more AMWF ads on Instagram or is that the algorithm? On insta, the ads that I got are accs from dating_app, retail store, and university.

I was talking to this WF who had an ex-husband from China, and she had a super aversion towards asian men because of her experience. To the point that she tried to spread awareness to not date asian men. I mean personally I get it, I've dated a subtype of women before and because of bad exeperiences i stay away from them, but not ALL asian women lol.

After she explained it all made sense, the guy was a bum. He was literally the lowest of the low in China when it comes to dating. He grew up without a father figure, mom was abusive, he had tattoos all over his body, and mignled with the wrong type of people (thugs, crooks, and was in a gang).

This type of asian guy IN asia itself, is SUPER RARE. and its just unlucky for her that she fell for him. But if you've had a similar experience, please don't generalize, and see ALL asian men as the same.

I personally, have never cheated (have been cheated on), only drugs I've done was two drags of weed, I cook, clean, garden, handsy with renovation. I think the worst thing Ive done to a girl is going on a trip after she broke up with me with another girl (who was in a relationship), and even that made me feel guilty af afterwards.

Look, personally I've dated mostly Chinese women, but I admit I don't want to date a chinese girl anymore, because I've tried and everytime I get mistreated just because im Chinese. My healthiest relationships were with non-chinese so even a filipina. It's just that a lot is expected of me as a chinese guy and I get put in situations where I need to do stuff I dont want to BECAUSE i'm chinese.

But please don't group ALL asian men together because you had ONE bad experience, statistically speaking we are still the ones with least divorce rates and domestic violence.

I remember when I searched for the acronym AMWF on YouTube a music band with the same AMWF came up

I've never listened to their music but I've noticed they don't appear in search results for AMWF now and it's very possible they may have changed their name.

😄

I don't think they were expecting to be associated with the interracial tag when they formed.

Today I was eating in the restaurant and saw that beautiful waitress and we basically had a basic interaction such as me asking for water or something like that and in the middle of me eating she asked me "Hows the food" something along those lines.

But before I left I asked her "Hey would you mind if you give me your instagram?" and she said "Yeah sure" and one or two second later she said "I'm actually not allowed to give my contacts to you" and left me disappointed. I'm not sure if I she rejected me or the workplace rules. My hypothesis is I opened up instagram and like 10 NANOSECONDS I hit the search button and then she said "Actually I'm not allowed to share contacts" and I'm not really sure if she sensed the 'desparation/needy' from me.

Love to hear your guys thoughts!

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of anti “race mixing” content, and whenever there is a guy who is not white and a white woman is dating, there are some extremely nasty comments under those posts, like you ruined your blood line, you’re a disgrace to the white race etc. Do you also think there is a rise in these kinds of comments/contents?

From my many rabbit holes of Internet research, it seems that E and SE Asians are especially prone to geographic clustering in US cities versus say Indian men on a work visa. If you don't live in those specific clusters, you may not see E or SE Asian men at all in your daily life. Proximity is extremely important in getting to know people so I feel like it's definitely a major factor at play.

Another consideration is that especially E Asian men are not as likely to show what US women see as keen interest. They are more likely to be cautious and hesitant to avoid rejection. I think I also read something here where an AM was saying he thinks the amount of AM assholes being encountered by non-asian women in dating is because the AMs in this case are much more bold about pursuing women, and it ends up appearing as keen interest, culturally.

I don't want to make assumptions about other Western countries and cultures so I just wrote USA for this post. Pls lmk if it's the same in your culture.

Also sorry about the E and SE Asian generalizations. I'm trying to use words like "some" and "tend to" to reduce it but I know it's still generalized. I'm aware of individual variations.

Also if it matters, I'm an autistic WW.

Found a very interesting scientific sociology paper publihsed by a WF professor. Its quite unbiased and has alot of points that I see WF complain about here in the comments, such as being seen as an unserious suitor ('WF are only seen for fun, and not marriage material'). Or how when a WF is seen with an AM , society thinks hes her translator or guide rather than husband.

Check it out, easy to read, very little math, and very interesting. Also from a very reputable university

Link: https://doi.org/10.1080/1070289X.2022.2154013

PDF: https://dspace.library.uu.nl/server/api/core/bitstreams/31b690f3-f49e-4c04-8c98-5c407d63badf/content

I'm from Aus and living in Sydney and there was a WF on instagram that she is from Czechia and came to Aus a few years ago and she mentioned that she is living in [Insert name suburb]. That suburb that I know is majority-asian. Do WFs living in that majority-asian suburb(s) are more open to dating AM?

Or am I completely wrong?

Growing up as an Asian American in more predominately white area, did you ever feel like you/your parents would be ok if you married a white person or do you feel the need to find someone who is your same ethnicity or at least another Asian ethnicity?

For context, I have been with my white parter for a little over 6 years now. We met when we were kids just starting college but now it's getting to that stage of life when it's time to decide what the future holds--marriage, kids, etc. As I think more about these deeper topics, I am trying to determine the things about my culture that I'd like to preserve through my children (language, food, holidays, etc.).

Do you guys find that it's important to keep certain parts of your Asian culture alive through the next generation? And if so, how do you reconvile that with someone who doesn't understand your culture? I know especially with "ABCs" (using that term loosely, not just for Chinese kids but all Asian kids whose parents see them as majority American at this point), a lot of our parents just assume we are already too Americanized to pass on much of our culture.

I've also seen a lot of accounts from mixed asian (especially white/Asians) who have had severe identity issues growing up and feeling like they don't belong to either side of their heritage. If you have any experience or insight on this, I'd love to know your thoughts.

Thanks!

I recently went to one of my cousin's party for July 4th with my girlfriend (she's white). After we left she made a comment in the car about how pretty much all of my cousin's friends and the family he invited were AMWF and WMAF couples with kids.

Everyone there obviously existed in harmony and my cousin is also really close with his sister's husband who is also white. I guess it really made me think about are the issues overstated. Personally I'm not friends with anyone in a WMAF relationship so my experience is limited. My only negative experience was way back in high school. It also made me wonder how his friends and family (the side not connected to me) all ended up in a mixed relationship. Maybe he chose to only invite mixed couples but I think there were one or two AMAF/WMWF couples.

If this isn't too relevant, mods please delete it. I just thought it was an interesting experience I had over July 4th.

I recently found out about the actress of ATLA, Maria Zhang, her parents are AMWF and she is so well mannered and succesful in what she does. Her whole demeaner is authentic, meaning she doesnt put on this false persona to gain clout, or do some weird controversial shit to gain attention.

Bruce lee (had an impeccable career that ended through someone elses mistake)

Then you have olivia rodrigo which surprised me how little controversy she has to her name given her fame.

Keanu reaves (altho the asian comes from his dad, his dad was still mixed, but one of the most beloved actors)

Alyssa liu (through surrogacy, raised by a single dad and grandmother, her chinese step mother did help later on).

Do you guys see a pattern as well? And do you know of any other AMWF kids who have achieved great things?