I recently moved to my new tower(an absolute steal i might add) in the swamp in the southeast mortal plane. Now i like some company, and sometimes i like walking to said company, so does anyone know a good wizard tavern around here?

New enchanted wand of detect magic just dropped.

Greetings my Brothers and Sisters of the Arcane,

Today should be a day for celebration: I have opened my business for the occult arts (henna tattooing surrounding my high fantasy designs and other artwork) and I will be greeting my first client in 3.5 hours. However, I befell a curse while in the womb of my mother, which manifested itself 2 years ago (horrible, incurable chronic illness). The Curse has come for me today in attempt to ruin me and rob me of success and happiness, and I do not know if I'm prepared for the battle before me.

Please tell me words of wisdom, spells, chants, songs, mana potions, etc that have helped you gather your strength for battle and overcome a great challenge. I had to put aside my staff in exchange for a cane and can barely walk, so ahead of me is a trial of pure endurance and strength for a 4 hour mehndi session that absolutely cannot be rescheduled (the product was already thawed out and cannot be refrozen again without ruining it, I can't afford to obtain more without payment for this session).

It is of upmost importance that I am victorious in this battle, but my current spells have been ineffectual. The Curse is too strong, lend your aid I bid thee.

Casted +25 Dex and didn't check its duration :(

It was my first try! My master was so proud of me

He was exposed by four meddling teens and their dog

Some Gut justice

I’m tired of pretending the wizard council is good for us

They build and sell illegal magic artifacts, sell them on the dark orb for loads of gold, then retakes them with incredible violence, often resulting in civilian casualties in the name of protecting us. Then they go and sell them again!

And as if that wasn’t enough, there’s the goddamn magic tax!

There’s a brutal enslavement of sentient constructs, they ban perfectly fine spells just because someone beat them in a duel with it, they spread propaganda and classism about dark magic, and they killed my ketamine ape!

I think that we should immediately collapse the council and instead elect high mages (not high on drugs, good at magic I mean) to govern each of the major areas, but ultimately if any policy is considered bad or restrictive if the general populous of that area votes against it then it should be vetoed.

Also fuck Thrakmore.

I travel a lot as a wandering wizard, and as i don't really specialize in offensive spells I usually carry a sword with me as a backup weapon. However, I met a couple older wizards at an inn who told me swords are for casuals, and i should only keep to my staff. What do you think of it?

also I drew this.

I understand that I am not a ranking official of any sort, however, I deeply implore the High Council to at least let these laws fall upon your wisened ears.
I have conducted research into various decaying realms and the primary causes for their downfall; excluding incidents of single beings that destroy the realms: the most consistent form of societal collapse is due to pathogenic shapeshifters such as lycanthropes and vampires; the most consistent form of individual collapse is by plagues and other mass scale magical/alchemical weapons; and the greatest threat metaphysical collapse of the realms due to pathogenic cognitive and other information based curses/damaging knowledge that creates instability. Henceforth, I suggest the following proposed laws.

The Pathogenic shapeshifters are almost never the cause of societal collapse. In fact, often they are the victims of angry hoards. The collapse comes from the distrust of the neighbor and the chaos that ensues, witch hunters, “demon slayers”, and other ignorant warriors looking for excuses to satisfy their blood-thirst.
The Afflicted Individual Registration (AIR) act works to address this:
This act would allow individuals whom have pathogenic curses or otherwise spreadable afflictions to submit themselves to the Department of Magical Regulation (whom I have already spoken with and they have allocated several apprentices to the position) and receive the following benefits: Freedom of movement and lifestyle so long as no more are infected. Protection from any threats to their wellbeing resulting from their curse, protection from any hunters, any treatments required to maintain their wellbeing, and in cases where “feeding” is required (vampiric or undead) they will be granted a prisoner or some other offender that would be put to death anyways. This act would not take any action towards afflicted individuals who do not wish to participate and wish to maintain privacy of their condition. The goal is to grant protected status to such individuals from hunters and allow themselves to live their lives comfortably and normally, and giving the commoners peace of mind, even if they were never truly in danger.

In times of extreme conflict, often the sound mind of the wizard is replaced by the drums of war beating in the ears. However, there are some weapons that extend beyond the scale of “one side” of the conflict.
The Armageddon Act: Would seek to regulate the spread of Magical Biological Weaponry beyond the scale of conflict. This act would require all newly created Meta-Magical diseases and plagues to have an antidote submitted to the high counsel before use, to limit the spread of said plagues to other realms. This act would also prevent the passive travel to realms afflicted by plagues without antidotes without the approval of a High Adept or higher. In order to prevent the overstepping of the high council and keep costs lowered, the high council will be unable to interfere within a realm without a new act or Im cases where an antidote is not provided.

And lastly I cannot speak much for the third act I propose for I have seen things that are dangerous for universes logic and I cannot speak formally or format the proposal properly or the all seeing law eye will know I am writing rules for this topic but all cognitively and informationally spread pathogenic ideas will be marked with the sign of an upside down delta-mind rune universally such that the contents are not spread by knowing any more about the thing but people know it is dangerous this is of upmost importance for the pocket realm I created to contain the thought I had seen is already collapsing and I will need to leave and forget the memory of even typing this leaving it in the realm do it please i have never seen such horrors in the form of material if you pass any pass this act and do not give it a name it spreads through names formatting and laws regarding I hope I have done well enough to hide it

I know I said I’d release the video after the fight, but I just got my ass handed to me.

I’m not posting that shit😭

not sure if this fits into the right tag or not but -

Hello wizard and witches alike! I am a humble Goblin Henchwoman looking for possible work

|| Gob W. Gobins | She/Her | Professional Henchwoman | 3’8 52lbs | 24 years old ||

my talents include:
-Ritual Circle Assembly
-Potion Stirring (Clockwise and Counterclockwise)
-Lower Minion Management
-Familiar Care (not dogs I’m allergic)
-Crystal Ball upkeep
-Carrying heavy spell books and making an “eh- eh- eh-“ noise
-Fireproof
-Highly Durable
-Loyal
-Enthusiastic when Henching
-General Henching
My certifications are in:
-First Aid (With a specialty in poison dynamics)
-OSHA
-Broom License 🪪
-Forklift Certified
-Bachelors Degree in Arcane Sciences from Gobton State University (www.gobton.uni/alumni)
If you’re interested in my experience:
-Have worked in towers and castles and everything in between
-Have been launched a reasonable distance from a catapult
-Regularly alphabetized a young wizards library of books
-Can be fit into small spaces

For business inquiries please email me at [email protected] or simply reply to this post