Hey guys.
I’m in my first externship, and it’s been about 9 weeks. I haven’t been doing good at all.
My supervisor does not trust me enough to let me lead sessions by myself (rightfully so- I keep making mistakes and giving really bad caregiver education). I was supposed to take over her entire caseload by now, and I haven’t been able to do so. I also keep asking the wrong/irrelevant question. I’m unable to connect a lot of the dots together, and my clinical judgement is really bad.
I haven’t been able to fully lead an evaluation either. I always start off asking questions, but she has to start taking over because I’m not being efficient and I’m making a lot of mistakes.
I feel really bad about myself, because I’m only hearing how my friends and people online, even if they struggle, they are able to pick up the speed by the 9th week. It’s been a struggle from the beginning for me, and I only have about 2-3 weeks left.
I think I’m going to fail, and it’s not going to be because of a bad supervisor. She’s been trying to help me, even thought she’s been getting very frustrated with me (since week 2)- but rightfully so.
I am truly just so slow at this.
Has anyone ever struggled like this in their externship? Or know anyone who struggled like this but still made it past grad school?
I’ve been crying because I feel so incompetent. It’s one thing to struggle for the first couple of weeks, but I am nearing the end of my externship, and I haven’t made much progress. It’s been affecting me heavily, and I truly feel as though I’m going to be the biggest failure in the SLP field.
It makes me feel worst that everyone I’ve talked to has already made progress with their clients, and gives them good and proper education.