(LONG STORY made SHORT)

I don't wish to frame this in an offensive way; I'm just new to these feelings (and honestly romantic feelings in general), and I'm hoping people with more life experience can tell me how they figured things out.

I'm a Christian Mexican guy about to enter college.

I think I might be bisexual. I definitely like girls, and I've dated 3 girls before (still on good terms with all of them). I can also imagine myself liking a guy under certain but still many circumstances, but it's still less common for me. So I'm trying to understand where I fit.

One thing that made all of this even more confusing is how I experience affection.

I've never actually been kissed on the lips by anyone, regardless of gender. The closest I've gotten was my guy friends kissing me on the cheek as a joke, which sounds weird out of context, but that's genuinely just how some of us act around each other.

When I'm on Discord playing games with the boys, I sometimes realize how much those moments mean to me. If we're all laughing, talking about life, or just sitting in silence while playing something together, I start feeling really attached to them. Sometimes I catch myself blushing because I feel genuinely cared for. I love that I can be completely honest around them and they'll give me their real opinions instead of telling me what they think I want to hear.

I don't think it's really lust. It's more like... if someone truly cares about me and makes me feel emotionally safe, I can start wondering, "Could I actually like this person?" I've even caught myself almost developing little crushes on a couple of my friends before, but they usually fade because I remind myself they're my friends (and respectfully... some of them are as chopped as I am 💀).

What also didn't help was high school.

I went to a private school where we had one class together for basically every subject, so everyone knew each other really well. During cooking class, I naturally ended up cooking, cleaning everyone's messes, and taking care of people. Somewhere along the way my friend group jokingly decided I was basically the "wife" of the group.

They'd compliment my apron, tease me, jokingly argue over who the "husband" was, and completely lean into the joke. Looking back, I honestly didn't mind it as much as I pretended to. That same whole "group wife" joke is also what eventually led to one of my friends kissing me on the cheek. HE ASKED BEFOREHAND; BTW, he was kind of cute.

Even now, my friends and I sometimes make really over-the-top jokes that get way too intimate before we all stop, look at each other, start blushing, awkwardly apologize, laugh, and tone it back down. what i mean is that we'd do some pretty weird stuff, like grabbing each other's faces or pulling one another closer and resting our heads on each other. We'd low-key do couple stuff, ngl.

Sometimes I honestly wonder if I could fall for almost anyone—girl or guy—if they genuinely loved me, cared for me, and made me feel emotionally safe. That's probably one of the biggest reasons I'm questioning my sexuality in the first place. It's less about physical attraction and more about how deeply I connect with people who make me feel accepted.

The bigger thing that's been on my mind is that, for the past 3–4½ years, I've had a growing desire to look female. I actually still think of myself as a guy—but looking more feminine feels like it would be closer to how I picture myself; in fact, most of my days i wake up and hate that i woke up as a guy because it doesn't look like what i feel like I'd look like. I've even had dreams that i was a girl and cried literal tears because I woke up male. I've been thinking about HRT for a long time. Not impulsively either. Almost every day I weigh what I'd gain against what I'd lose. I know it isn't some magical "I'll finally be happy" button, and I know there are permanent changes and risks. That's exactly why I've been thinking about it so carefully. If I ever did go on HRT, I honestly would care if people referred to me as male or not. I don't feel like changing my appearance would erase the life I've lived or the values I've built.

I'm about to start college, and it feels like I'm at a point where I need to understand these feelings instead of ignoring them.

I grew up with two older sisters and my mom, while my dad was usually at work. I think that shaped how I view masculinity and femininity. I never really connected with the whole "macho man" idea. I've always felt more comfortable around softer aesthetics, cute things, and expressing emotions.

When I was younger, I looked pretty androgynous, and I actually liked being mistaken for a girl sometimes. My relatives always joked that I looked just like my mom. As I've gotten older, I've become more masculine-looking, and I honestly struggle with seeing that in the mirror.

My church is actually very accepting. They genuinely believe Jesus loves people unconditionally, and they've been welcoming to people from all kinds of backgrounds. One of my childhood friends came out as gay, and nobody treated him badly—they mostly just cared that he was still the same person and still helped around church.

My parents are what scare me.

They're Mexican, and while my mom can be very open-minded about some things, she's also very strict about gender expectations when it comes to me. My dad is loving, but I'm scared he'd quietly see me as a disappointment if I weren't his only son anymore. That's probably one of the biggest fears I've been carrying.

I also feel guilty because I know changing how I look could be difficult for people who've known me my whole life. I don't want to become someone else—I genuinely feel like I'd still be me. I'd just look different.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed that I want to be dainty or feminine when everyone sees me as a guy. Other times the desire feels so strong that I wonder if it'll ever go away. I honestly feel like an imposter living in someone else's body and an imposter with someone else's identity.

as for my sisters, I don't think they'd mind having another sister, but that's based on how they treat me now. mah big sisters are honestly the best!

I guess my question is

Has anyone else gone through something similar or have words of help for my confusion?

This may not apply to everyone, but I know I used to use the word Hate a lot. Stuck in traffic... I hate this. A song comes on that I don't like... I hate that. I get served food with mushrooms... I hate those. Everything was hate. In reality, it was actually just dislike or displeasure. Sometimes it was just a difference of opinion.

So I challenged myself to stop using the word hate. It's like something lifted. I wasn't even that angry of a person before, yet any anger I had lifted. Are there things in life that frustrate me? Absolutely. Do I still get annoyed by some things? Sure. But by not assigning the term hate, they seem much more insignificant. I don't dwell on them. I voice displeasure if I need to and move on. My days are much brighter for it.

These days I reserve the word Hate for things that really deserve it... Nazis or Child Molesters or Duke Basketball.

Anyway, just an exercise to try and see if it does anything for you.

I feel like nothing i do day to day week to week really matters and im not sure how to find something im passionate about. Nothing seems to spark any interest and it always feels like im just getting by. Just going through the motions with no thought or motivation to do anything different. I want to feel like im doing something thats bigger than myself that will at least have a positive impact on somebody else’s life. I do not care for the idea of money or making money i only know I have to have it solely so i can survive. The internet and social media does not feel natural to me in anyway i feel constant anxiety anytime i scroll on any of those platforms.

I struggle with feeling lonely and lost. I don't know how this adulting thing goes and I feel like I'm just finessing my way through everything. Basically, I'm winging it because life doesn't come with built in instructions or a manual. How do I find peace in being alone even if people claim to care about you and you don't believe them? I have unrealistic expectations for people and I struggle with accepting that people aren't going to think like me or treat me how I treat them. It's something I haven't quite grasped yet. For context, no, I'm not young. Any advice for knowing where to start when it comes to self care?

- I don't Know Why I Can't Handle Critisism

-When Someone Criticize me...I overthink It Too Much What Others Think

-I Am Too Much Harsh On Myself

-And I think That everyone Is Better And Feeling Inferior Among Others

Whenever I meet someone new most of the time they tell me I sound exactly like Walter white jr. to me I sound nothing like it but when I record my voice and listen back and I sound like I have some sort of autism or disability. I don’t have any current learning or physical disability but I got a Iep from kindergarten for speech delay that I still get to use today I remember having voice therapy but that was years ago in kindergarten I’m entering 11th grade. I wouldn’t call it a lisp I just sound like how people with autism sound. I’ve been wondering what I have and if there’s a way to sound more normal

This is kinda long so I apologize.

When I was younger, I lived in the forest away from everybody else. My mom and stepfather fear-mongered me and my sibling for our whole life, and kept us trapped in our house. They wouldn't even let us take the trash down the driveway or cross the street to get the mail. I couldn't talk to my aunts, uncles, etc., so when I got older I basically turned into a social outcast in school and with my family.

I'm scared of being alone in stores, I'm scared of talking to people, and the only time when I am able to function like a normal human is when I'm drunk, high, or on my anxiety/depression meds that my mother is refusing to get for me now because she believes i need to just "get over it". My anxiety and paranoia got so bad that I had to switch to online school during my sophomore year of high school because I was having panic attacks almost every morning.

I'm 17 currently, almost 18. I have my driver's license (which is practically useless because we only have one car), still doing online school, living with my mom, no job, and little to none in-person friends. I've been yearning to see things—go places, or just leave the house like a normal teenager, but my mother has been basically trapping me in the house and I dont know what to do. Ive expressed to her how I feel like I'm missing out on life, but she keeps saying "there's no rush."

I know that I'm young, but she refuses to let me go anywhere other than the grocery store on my own, and sometimes I have to lie just to go see my friend for 5 minutes at most.

I have no life, and I have no money. I leave the house 1 day a week sometimes, and I spend my days sleeping or crying because I'm so depressed. Ive been trying to get a job since I turned 15, just to get out of the house, to no avail because I have no experience.

I cant even turn to my sister for help because she guilt trips me when I leave the house, and whenever I mention wanting to leave, she looks at me like I'm crazy. She is 23 doesn't have a job, and doesnt leave the house ever. I don't know what to do anymore. I've been trying to stay optimistic the best I can, but everyday I feel more and more hopeless. Its gotten so bad I almost miss my abusive stepfather because he at least gave me a little bit more freedom than my mom and let me hangout with my friends.

The only thing ive been able to do is cry alone in my bed because my mom tells me constantly that I'm just a hormonal teenager.

What am I supposed to do when I have no life, no money, no job, no friends, and no one to turn to.

I didn't know what flair to pick. I'm 17 from England. Completely failed almost every one of my gcses which is the exams at the end of high school. I had a friend group in high school but I wasn't popular or well liked. As soon as high school ended my friend group fell apart and everyone sort of lost contact. I wasn't very close to them but I feel significantly more lonely not having them. I have acne, everyone says it's barely acne but it really makes me feel bad about myself and none of the prescriptions worked. High school ended a year ago now and nothing has changed. I've no job, college wasn't for me. I spend all day on my computer but I don't even really play games that much. I try to make friends on discord but fail miserably. I wanna make music but I can't be bothered learning. I've had issues with a few different drugs for a while which I sold a lot of stuff for, I'm pretty sure my parents think I'm a disappointment since my dad was in the army by my age and my mum was working. I just can't figure anything out. I'm extremely poor, I want a job but can't get one, id try college but they all have gcse requirements, I just don't know what to do, I don't want to bum around all day but I just can't go anywhere in life. I'm a failure, I need help, if it keeps on like this I don't know what I'll do. My whole life I've always been treated badly and embarrassed I don't know why, I was a weird kid now I'm a weird teenager. I'm shy in public but once I get close with someone I get weird and clingy which I've embarrassed myself by doing. I think about and dream about gay stuff so I think I'm bi. I don't know what kind of help I expect, I pretty much just wanted to write this somewhere but any sort of help would be appreciated.

Lately, I've been wondering if anyone else has gone through this.

For a long time, I thought self-improvement meant constantly finding something about myself that needed to be fixed. I was always reading another book, watching another video, or trying to build another habit because I felt like I was never doing enough.

The strange part is that I wasn't actually enjoying the process. It started to feel like I was chasing an impossible version of myself instead of appreciating the progress I had already made.

What helped me was changing the question I asked myself. Instead of asking, How can I be better? I started asking, What do I actually need today?

Some days the answer is to work harder. Other days it's to rest, slow down, or simply accept that I'm doing my best.

I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this shift.

Did there come a point where your idea of self-improvement changed? What made you look at it differently?

Hi everyone! I’m reaching out here for some advice. I apologize in advance for the lengthy post.

I’m an overly nostalgic person, and always have been to be honest. I’m only 22 and I am aware that I am still very young but I have a hard time accepting it sometimes.

Again, I have always been this way. Even as a kid, I had this overwhelming fear of getting older and wanting to stay young forever. I’ve never been the kid who wanted to grow up and be an adult already. But life goes on of course.

Recently, it’s become more of a problem though. I can’t even read books where the protagonist is 17 without feeling overly emotional and envious. I constantly reminisce the years where I was a teen and can’t help but feel like my life is just over. I know of course - there’s so much more to come and I’ve barely begun life, but I can’t seem to mentally come to terms with it. It constantly impacts my mood and makes me feel incredibly sad and distressed.

I don’t want to spend my life constantly whining about the past. I want to enjoy my current life. I just feel like I’m wasting so much of my life on being emotional about the past.

I’d appreciate any advice on this. Of course, there’s nothing anyone can do about it, it’s a matter of mindset and changing my outlook on life, but I would love to hear from others. Or if anyone else has this same problem. thank you

curious what's out there for people, could be therapy, journaling, astrology/tarot, an app, whatever actually stuck for you