I (24M, Philippines) and my ex (23F) were together for almost 2 years. We broke up mutually during our thesis because I couldn't give the relationship my full attention. The thesis was overwhelming, and at the same time she was going through serious personal and family problems. I wanted to be there for her, but I simply didn't have the emotional capacity to support her the way she deserved, so we both agreed it was best to end the relationship.

The problem is what happened afterward.

During our thesis, she had already developed feelings for one of our professors, who also happened to be our thesis adviser. Later on, I found out that he admitted he also had feelings for her, although they both agreed not to pursue anything because of religious differences and professional boundaries. Even if nothing happened between them, I felt deeply betrayed by the situation, and it changed the way I trusted both of them.

We still talk occasionally. Earlier today, we ended up talking about our future, and she said that if we both reach 30 years old and are still single, we should just marry each other. That conversation stirred up a lot of emotions for me.

Recently, I landed my first job in our lgu, and I genuinely want to focus on my career and eventually prepare for my board exam. However, I still find myself relapsing emotionally. Some days I feel completely fine, and other days I feel sad, angry, or start thinking about everything that happened. It feels like I'm trying to move forward while still carrying unresolved feelings from the past.

I'm not looking for people to judge or attack anyone involved. I just want honest advice from people who have experienced something similar.

Should I completely cut off communication with my ex so I can finally heal, or is it possible to move on while staying in contact? We still talk from time to time, and every meaningful conversation seems to bring back old emotions and make me relapse.

I'm afraid that cutting her off might be too harsh since we ended things mutually and will be reviewing for the board exam together (we have the same circle of friends), but I'm also wondering if staying in contact is what's preventing me from fully moving on. If you've been in a similar situation, what would you recommend I do, and why?

14 months together, both living in QC

So, I (26F) called out my bf(26M) for playing dota while we were talking. Ang sakin lang magkausap kami that time July 17 midnight, I have a full shift and sya may tinatapos lang sa work (as you can see sa ss, referred as ADP). Also, kinabukasan nagkita kami to eat and nachika nya sakin na while he was doing ADP e nakasleep sya at iniwan yung laptop sa sala.

May sinend sya sakin ss na play history nya sa dota just now. It shows he was playing the midnight of 17, na hindi ko alam. Wala syang nabanggit or anything. So ako parang "huh? bakit never mo nabanggit na naglalaro ka pala?" ang dali lang sabihin. NEVER once he mentioned that he played or even after playing. He didn't even mentioned it sa story nya nung nagkita kami.

guys, don't get me wrong. never ko yan pinigilan sa paglalaro ang akin lang basta alam ko or kahit pasaring lang na 'I also played saglit'

Attached are the ss ng argument, hindi pa yan full ss bat yan yung simula. napasok pa yung lahat na lang daw dapat ipaalam sakin kahit pagtae pa ba

everytime I call him out lagi syang may ibabato sakin na 'ikaw nga kesyo ganto ganyan' na completely nababaliwala yung sinasabi ko and i end up explaining to him instead of him being accountable on what he did.

ang point lang is: mali ba tong nararamdaman ko? mali bang ipaintindi ko sa kanya whats wrong? i kinda felt betrayed and called him a liar (which i know too extreme for the scenario) pero ykwim? hahaha idk parang may sting lang sa heart ko na bakit need mo ihide sakin yun, imposibleng kinalimutan mo lang.

Ayoko sya kausapin now kasi in the end nag sorry lang sya but still didnt answer my question, why didn't you tell me?

I also wanted to know your insights. Please how can I make him understand what I feel?

Hi,

I [26F] is currently in a 7 year relationship with my boyfriend, [M26]. We’ve been LDR too. We met twice and I know it sounds ridiculous but we held on to it, or was it just me lol. Both from the Philippines. He’s in Luzon, I’m in Visayas.

I have access to his messenger account and casually checks messages. I’m still paranoid even if we have been in a lengthy relationship. There’s a reason to that.

Yesterday morning, I noticed a notification on his messenger. I have attached the photo below. I am not t@nga and I know that when you get that notification, that’s from an another account logged into your messenger.

I already had a gut feeling about this but I just can’t prove it.

For context, we met in rpw way back 2020 lol. Basically, a community of dummy accounts. We talked and eventually ended up here. We promised not to open those accounts again, or even think about going back there.

If you know, you know. Puro mga malalaswa tao ron hahaha.

Anyway, may kutob na talaga ako even before, nagagaslight lang ako. Yung pinaka deal breaker ko sa relationship is cheating. Kahit pagod nako kakaintindi sa mga rason niya kagaya ng hindi pag eeffort sa mga special occasion, okay na lang. Tinatanggap ko kaya nagtagal kami nang ganito. Hahahah di raw t@nga.

Minsan, nasasabi ko sa kanya na mas mabuting mag cheat nalang siya para may courage ako na umalis sa relationship .

I think eto na yon. Gumawa ako ng dummy account at inadd siya kagabi. May mga post siya at alam ko typings niya. Hindi ako nagkakamali.

Paggising ko kaninang madaling araw, nakita ko na inaccept niya yung fr. Syempre babae nag add at may suso yung profile lol. Thank you pinterest.

Nag chat ako sa kanya at nag reply din siya agad.

Nalaman kong siya nga yon dahil napagkwentuhan namin kung saang BPO siya nag wwork. Pati kung saan siya banda nakatira at ilang taon na siya.

Nagtanong ako kung may jowa siya at sabi niya “nandito ba ako ngayon kung meron?” hahaha tangeeeen@ talaga.

Hanggang ngayon hindi niya alam na alam ko na may iba siyang account.

Any suggestion how to confront him? or should I just go gone girl hahahahahahaha

Nakakapanghinayang yung relationship dahil ilang taon din yon at siya yung naging first ever boyfriend ko at pinakilala ko pa sa pamilya ko. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha.

Thanks po.

TL;DR: I [26F] catfished my boyfriend [26M] of 7 years because I found out he made a dummy account.

So for some background, I (21F) met this guy (21M) on Facebook dating around March. He seemed chill enough, also around my age range and also chronically online as I am and thats how we clicked, when we share the same memes, interests and such. We were talking for about a month, when it gradually comes to me that he's one of those "pa cool, edgy, n-word saying" guy and also a Trump supporter (I dont wanna delve much into politics for this thread so just know that I dont rlly like the guy). I then ended things with him and theres that. Last June, he followed me again on tiktok, we get to talking, and he said that his views are his or whatever, and that he also condemns trump for stuff he did. I refused to go back to talking (romantically) again and suggested that we just be friends. And then last week, I saw that I've been unfollowed everywhere. It didn't feel weird to me at the time because he has done this before when we were still talking romantically and I felt he was an avoidant dude which was also part as to why I ended things with him.

Which brings us to now. Earlier this morning I woke up to a random follower and a message by a girl(not sure of her age) stating that the guy already has a gf of 4 years, and she's letting me know coz she said I deserve to know. Immediately I replied that no, I didn't know, never knew, he always have told me he has broken with his ex for over a year now and that we never even dated. She followed up by asking questions and such like where did I meet him and if I ever met him IRL too or just been talking online which I said no, coz he lives in Bataan and I live in Bulacan and I'm a broke college student. I apologized profusely and said that I'll tell them whatever info they need and just ask me anything tho I cant provide screenshots of past messages coz I have deleted chat out of anger before. But now, somebody replied to my tiktok repost (because it has a reply feature now) stating that the guy I was talking to 🍇'd someone when he was 18 and the girl was 14. I feel now that I'm getting harassed for something that I'm also a victim of, and that I'm getting unjustly blamed for it. The guy didn't have anything on his Facebook. Doesn't have photos of his gf or anything related to a relationship. I feel like the next few days are going to be a shitshow and I'm gonna be stuck in the middle of it all.

How can I clear my name without making it seem like im guilty?

TL;DR: Unknowingly becomes a side chic of a guy and got a "hey girl" message from someone, now I'm thinking im being watched like a hawk by everyone and being judged for something I'm also a victim of

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 3 years. We're from Quezon City, and we live just a footbridge apart, so we're not in a long-distance relationship.

He has been treating me well and consistently shows that he cares. He picks me up from work or school, spends time with me, and makes an effort in our relationship. Even so, I still have this fear that he'll leave me someday.

The reason is that he cheated once almost 3 years ago. I decided to forgive him, but every July, when it happened, those painful memories come back. I thought I would have moved on by now, but I still struggle with it.

Whenever I bring it up, he tells me to stop thinking about the past because it happened a long time ago. I understand why he says that, but it doesn't make the feelings go away.

Advice needed: How can I explain these recurring feelings to my boyfriend so he understands what I'm experiencing without feeling like I'm blaming him again?

I (29F) have no prior dating experience. NBSB. Tried a dating app for the first time, matched with a few guys pero ako lagi nagbubuhat ng usapan. I realized I'm happy to stay single for the rest of my life, until I matched with this one guy (29M) who is full of green flags so far.

Sa Ph siya pinanganak tapos nag-migrate sila sa US noong bata pa lang siya. Ako naman born and raised here sa Ph, I live in Makati. Syempre dahil sa dating app, ang intensyon namin parehas ay dating at long-term relationship. 5 days pa lang kaming magka-chat, susubukan pa lang namin mag-voice call tapos eventually video call. IMO, sakto lang ang pacing namin, we are not rushing to have the bf-gf label. At dahil nga clear na under LDR ito, sinabi ko sa kanya una pa lang na asexual ako, so hindi magiging problema para sakin ang lack of physical/sexual intimacy sa relationship, which he respects. Basta so far, wala pa namang red flags.

Paano ba itong actual LDR? What should I expect in the long run if we ever become official? I wanna know what I'm getting myself into. Bilang trentahin, ayaw kong masayang oras ko o magsayang ng oras ng iba. All I know so far is we both vibe with each other.

F27 NBSB here, and this is my first time entering the dating world because I've always been very career-focused.

I have a friend (M25) whom I've known for about a year. We were purely platonic before this (or rather, sa side ko lang pala. 😅). Then we attended a 7-day event in the province, and somehow we got really attached to each other. Para kaming kambal-tuko, hindi mo makikita yung isa na hindi kasama yung isa.

Pagbalik namin ng Manila, umamin siya na may feelings siya sa akin. Since then, we've been exclusively dating (pinagusapan na namin tong label na 2 weeks into dating) and so we regularly see each other around 2–3 times a week.

I genuinely enjoy how he treats me. It's the first time I've experienced being cared for and looked after by someone. He always makes me feel special, and halos lahat na rin ng "pang-jowa" na ginagawa ng couples, nagawa na namin. Napansin ko rin na parang hindi na kumpleto araw ko kapag hindi kami nakakapag-chat o nakakapagkumustahan. So I'm sure na attached na ako sa kanya. Dumating na rin ako sa point na inaantay ko na lang na yayain niya akong maging official girlfriend niya, pero hanggang ngayon wala pa rin.

Ang napansin ko lang lately, from seeing each other 2-3 times a week, naging once a week na lang, tapos this week wala talaga. Marami naman siyang free time, to the point na kaya niya akong puntahan after office hours kung gugustuhin niya. Araw-araw pa rin naman kaming nag-uusap, pero napapaisip ako kung normal lang ba talaga na ganito habang tumatagal at humuhupa na yung honeymoon phase, o kung nabawasan na yung effort at interest niya.

Pero eto talaga yung pinakamalaking concern ko. Masaya akong kayakap at kasama siya. Gustong-gusto ko yung cuddles at hugs namin. Pero never akong nakaramdam ng "kilig" o butterflies. Sa mga naging crush ko noon (kahit wala akong na-date sa kanila), naramdaman ko naman yun.

Kaya ngayon, napapaisip ako kung gusto ko ba talaga siya bilang partner, o baka gusto ko lang yung treatment niya sa akin dahil siya yung unang lalaking nagparamdam sa akin ng ganitong klaseng pag-aalaga.

Dagdag pa rito, 1 month since nagdate kami, ina-advise ako ng nanay ko at mga tita ko na mas mabuti raw kung mag-explore muna ako at makipag-date sa ibang lalaki bago ako mag-settle. At that time, di na ako interesado magentertain ng iba, kasi parang locked in na ako kay (M25). Pero to be honest, naco-consider ko na rin yun ngayon, lalo na dahil pakiramdam ko hindi na niya ako actively pinupursue tulad ng dati. Pero to be fair, sobrang sweet pa rin naman namin sa isa't isa, both online and offline, pero less pangungulit lang from his side na.

Pero sa totoo lang takot ako kasi feeling ko tuluyan na siyang mawawala pag sinabi ko sa kanya na itigil muna yung pagiging exclusive namin para mag-explore. Wala naman akong balak magpaka hoe phase.

So ngayon, ang tanong ko... Possible bang attached lang ako sa treatment at companionship, hindi sa kanya mismo? At kung kayo ang nasa sitwasyon ko, ie-explore niyo pa ba yung ibang tao, o itutuloy niyo na lang ito and see where this relationship goes?

TL;DR: First time ko mag-date. Two months na kaming exclusively dating. Attached na ako sa kanya at gusto ko yung treatment niya, pero never akong nakaramdam ng "butterflies." Ngayon, nabawasan na rin yung effort at frequency ng dates namin. I'm questioning whether I genuinely like him or if I'm just attached because he's the first man who's made me feel cared for. Close family members (mom, titas) think I should date other people before settling down with him. Should I continue this relationship or explore other options first?

Relationship Length: starting
Location: Central Luzon, PH

TL;DR: I'm looking for practical advice on managing my insecurities about the financial gap between me and my boyfriend before they negatively affect our relationship.

I [30F] have been dating my boyfriend [30M] for a month.

From the beginning and since our talking stage, I've been honest that we come from very different financial backgrounds. He grew up with financial stability and opportunities that I didn't have, while I grew up in a family that has struggled financially.

He knows that my family used to be financially comfortable but that we're now facing financial difficulties. He doesn't know that my family has debt because it's something we've been managing privately as a family, and we haven't reached the stage of sharing every detail of our personal finances. He does know enough to understand that my situation isn't easy, and I believe those conversations will happen naturally as our relationship grows and the timing feels right.

I've also been transparent that I'm financially responsible despite my family's situation. I live independently, my salary is enough to cover my own needs while allowing me to save, and I'm generally frugal with my spending. I've also set boundaries with my family, so while I help when I can, I don't shoulder everything.

Even knowing my financial struggles and responsibilities, he still chose to be with me.

The challenge is that I sometimes compare our lives. He gets to enjoy hobbies, travel, and make purchases without the same financial pressures I have. I'm genuinely happy that he has those opportunities, but I occasionally find myself thinking that he deserves someone whose life is easier than mine.

He has never made me feel judged or like I'm not enough. These thoughts are entirely my own, and I don't want them to affect our relationship or make him feel like I don't trust the choice he's already made.

I'm continuing to build my career and improve my financial situation, but I know that changing my family's circumstances will take time.

I'm hoping to hear from people who have been in relationships where one partner had significantly more financial stability than the other.

• How did you stop comparing yourself to your partner?
• What helped you fully accept that they knowingly chose to be with you?
• Were there any conversations, boundaries, or habits that helped prevent financial differences from creating insecurity or resentment?
• If you were in my position, what would you focus on so these thoughts don't become a problem in an otherwise healthy relationship?

I'm not looking for validation that my boyfriend is a good person. I already know he is. I'm looking for practical advice on how I can become a more secure partner and prevent my own insecurities from affecting a relationship that has been healthy and supportive from the beginning.

what to do when u know somethings true but you don’t feel it? i know my boyfriend loves me, he shows that he loves me by doing more than the bare minimum, but a part of me still thinks he’s gonna leave me one day. it’s like he’s doing everything right but my heart and mind are telling me two different things. Hindi naman kami LDR, we literally live a footbridge apart (QC). we also just celebrated our 3 year anniversary last month.

Most of the time I feel that he loves me naman, madalas na hinahatid-sundo nya ako from work and school. Is there something wrong we me na parang never ako nakokontento? Am i too self centered?

context: yes, sadly there has been a history of cheating (once, almost 3 years ago). but i forgave him? i think? i still feel sad about it whenever i think of it, especially during july because that’s the month it happened. every july it feels like nagrerelapse ako and i just want to get over it already but i cant.

What i’m asking: How do i tell my boyfriend about these feelings im having. i used to bring it up but then he’d just say things like “wag mo na kasi isipin” or “pinapahirapn mo lang sarili mo” or “ang tagal na nyan”. i just want him to feel what im feeling but i dont know how to say what im feeling in a way that he’ll understand.

Ako (21F) at boyfriend ko (21M) ay 3 years and 5 months na sa relationship. Marami na kaming naging away dahil sa tito niya (40–50M).
Noong early months ng relationship namin, nakita ko yung messages nila sa Messenger na nag-iiloveyouhan sila at tinatawag siyang “mahal.” Coming from a family na hindi affectionate, syempre nagulat ako. Naisip ko noon kung baka bakla ba yung tito niya o kung may something ba sa kanila dahil hindi ako sanay sa ganung klaseng closeness.
Naalala ko pa noon na nasa Singapore pa yung tito niya at umuuwi siya halos every month para lang mag-hangout silang dalawa.
Hanggang ngayon na nandito na sa Pilipinas yung tito niya, sobrang close pa rin nila. Nagha-hangout sila, may sleepovers, at minsan nagche-check in pa sa hotel kahit may condo naman yung tito niya sa Makati. Tinanong ko na rin siya kung bakit kailangan pa nilang mag-check in at sabi niya dahil daw masakit sa likod ng tito niya yung kama sa condo.
Tatlo silang magkakapatid pero siya lang talaga yung ganito ka-close sa tito niya. Sabi niya favorite siya dahil noong bata pa siya nadepress daw yung tito niya kaya naging sobrang attached sa kanya.
Lagi rin siyang binibilhan ng tito niya ng kung anu-ano—iPad, bagong damit, at iba pang mamahaling gamit.
Dahil dito, madalas kaming mag-away. Sinubukan kong makipag-compromise. Sabi ko okay lang sa akin na lumabas sila at magkasama pero sana wala nang sleepovers kasi doon talaga ako hindi komportable.
Naging okay kami tungkol doon for around 3 months, pero bigla na lang niyang sinabi na magsi-sleepover ulit sila at wala raw akong magagawa. Hanggang sa sinabi niya na kung hindi ko raw matatanggap yung relationship nila ng tito niya, okay lang kahit mag-break kami.
Ngayon nasa Malaysia siya for two weeks. Noong una ko nalaman na pupunta siya, gusto ko sana pumunta kahit 2 days lang pero sabi niya hindi pa raw niya alam yung plans niya. Tapos nalaman ko na lang kahapon na sumunod pala yung tito niya sa Malaysia.
Doon ko talaga na-feel na parang every time may pagpipilian, mas pinipili niya yung tito niya kaysa sa akin. Lagi niyang sinasabi na mas nauna niya raw nakilala yung tito niya kaysa sa akin.
Nag-away ulit kami at sinabi niya na kung hindi ko matatanggap lahat tungkol sa relasyon nila, umalis na lang daw ako sa buhay niya. Tapos binlock niya ako.
Ang advice na gusto ko sana hingin ay: Paano ko ba ipoprocess itong sitwasyon nang maayos? Sa tingin nyo possible na may morethan something sa tito nya at sya? At ngayong binlock niya ako, mas okay na bang ituring ko na itong pagtatapos ng relationship at mag-focus na lang sa pagmo-move on?
TL;DR: 3 years and 5 months na kami ng boyfriend ko pero lagi kaming nag-aaway dahil sobrang close niya sa tito niya. Nag-iiloveyouhan sila, nagso-sleepover, nagche-check in sa hotel kahit may condo naman yung tito niya, nagta-travel together at binibilhan siya ng mamahaling gamit. Sinubukan kong makipag-compromise pero sinabi niya na kung hindi ko matatanggap yung relationship nila, umalis na lang ako sa buhay niya. Ngayon binlock niya ako at gusto kong malaman kung paano ako magmo-move forward at kung incompatibility na ba ito sa boundaries namin.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice about something I’ve been struggling with for a long time.

M[25]Me and my [F24] Girlfriend is from Metro Manila, Philippines and were together for 3 years, broke up, then reconnected and have been together again for about 1 year now.

During our first relationship, she had a [M24] male college classmate who I felt was trying to get close to her by testing boundaries by making sexual jokes, being touchy, and crossing lines behind my back. I told her multiple times that I was uncomfortable, but she continued entertaining those interactions. After we broke up, she told me they had made out and cuddled a few times, which made me feel like my fears were proven right and that my concerns were ignored. That’s where I lost a lot of trust and felt undervalued.

Now that we’re together again, I feel like I’m seeing a similar pattern. Her ex’s mother has been contacting her, and she continues entertaining those interactions despite me expressing that I’m uncomfortable. It makes me feel like my concerns are still not being taken seriously.

She acknowledges that she was wrong before, and I love her and want this relationship to work, but I’m struggling with the resentment and the loss of trust. I’m afraid these things will always stay in the back of my mind and that I’ll keep bringing up the past.

Should I keep trying to work through this, or is this something I won’t be able to move past?

TL:DR; My girlfriend and I got back together after a breakup, but I’m still struggling with resentment from the past. I warned her about a guy crossing boundaries, she ignored my concerns, and later admitted they made out and cuddled. Now I feel a similar pattern with her entertaining contact from her ex’s mother despite my discomfort. I love her, but I’m unsure if I can regain the trust I lost.

So me [M24] and my partner [F21] have been together for a year, and we always make time to hang out. A few weeks ago my parents came to visit and we went on a beach vacation together. I told her beforehand that we'd be touring around and that I'd only be able to update her and text her, since I couldn't call with everyone in the room with me. During the trip I still made an effort to chat her, send updates, send pictures, let her know where we were and what we were doing.

Now that my parents have gone home and I have the full time for us again, she's suddenly prioritizing her friends. She told me she already spent most of her time on me, so now it's her friends' turn. I get that friends matter too, but it feels like I'm supposed to just be thankful she even spends time with me at all.

Even when we do get to hang out, it's like I'm second choice. We'll play one game together and then the moment her friend asks her to join something, she just leaves.

On top of that, she's been bursting out in anger at me over small things. There are times I just say "hi" and then "hi" again when she doesn't reply mid conversation, and she'll go quiet for 30 minutes to an hour then come back saying I'm spamming her and that she doesn't want that, that this is supposed to be her individual time. Because of this, right now I've been just chatting her once and then waiting hours for her to respond. Even when she does chat again, I wait around 30 minutes before I reply, because I'm scared of coming off as too much and setting her off.

We actually fought about this before, and it almost ended in a breakup. I ended up being the one who softened first and asked for forgiveness because I love her, but now I feel like I can't even bring things up anymore without being scared of losing her or making her angry again.

What I'm actually asking: how do I bring this up with her in a way that doesn't come off as controlling or clingy, but still gets across that the sudden shift and the snapping over small things is hurting me? Are there specific phrases or a specific way to structure this conversation so it doesn't turn into a fight? Has anyone dealt with a partner who says they need "individual time" but doesn't communicate it clearly, and found a way to actually fix that pattern?

TL;DR: I [24M] feel deprioritized by my partner [21F] since she started prioritizing her friends over me and snaps at me for "spamming" when I message her twice. I've become afraid to double-text or bring up how I feel because of a past fight that almost ended in a breakup. How do I bring this up with her without starting another fight?

Location: Metro Manila, Philippines

My (30F) boyfriend (29M) and I have been together for 4 years.

When we first got together, we would talk about the future—getting married someday. We also talked about children, and we’re both okay with not having kids, so that’s not the issue. Recently, though, he opened up and told me that at this stage in his life, he doesn’t see himself getting married anytime soon.

His reason is that he doesn’t feel financially ready. He isn’t confident that he can provide for a family with the job he has now, and he doesn’t feel like he’s in the right place in life to become a husband.

To give more context, I don’t feel like he’s just making excuses or avoiding the topic. Over the past year, he’s been actively trying to improve his situation. He’s been upskilling, and applying for better job opportunities because he genuinely wants to build a more stable future. From what I can see, he’s making an effort rather than simply saying he’ll do something “someday.”

I asked him directly if he still sees a future with me, and he said yes. He told me that when he’s ready for marriage, he wants to marry me. He also said that the only future he sees. However, he realistically doesn’t think he’ll be ready to get married within the next 3 years.

Part of me appreciates that he’s being honest instead of making promises he can’t keep. At the same time, I’m already 30, and I’m struggling with the uncertainty. Even though we’re both okay not having children, marriage is still something that’s important to me, and I don’t know if waiting is the right decision when there’s no guarantee he’ll eventually feel ready.

The advice I’m looking for is this: How can I tell whether this is a healthy situation where I should continue investing in the relationship, versus a sign that our timelines and life goals are no longer compatible?

For those who’ve been in a similar situation—either as the partner who wasn’t ready or the one who was waiting—what conversations, expectations, or milestones helped you determine whether the relationship was moving toward marriage or whether it was time to accept that your paths no longer aligned?

TL;DR: My (30F) boyfriend (29M) of 4 years wants to marry me someday but doesn’t think he’ll be ready for at least 3 more years because he wants to be financially stable first. He’s actively upskilling and looking for a better job, so I don’t think he’s making excuses. We’re also okay with not having kids. I’m wondering if waiting is reasonable or if our timelines for marriage are simply incompatible.

I am a (20F) based in Los Angeles (originally from the Philippines, moved to LA at age 10, so I still carry some old-school Filipino values). My boyfriend is a (19M) from Quezon, Philippines. We’ve been together for 2 years (LDR).

I had to cancel a plan with my boyfriend because my parents changed the arrangement and didn’t allow it anymore. I told him about it in advance and explained it wasn’t my decision. I also apologized because I know it affected him.

I also told him that I felt disappointed because we spent time planning it and I was really looking forward to it. At the end of the day, all I could say was sorry because we’re in a LDR relationship and I didn’t want it to turn into a bigger conflict.

After that, he became distant and cold and has only been giving very short replies. He hasn’t acknowledged my apology and we’re not really communicating properly.

This isn’t the first time he shuts down or becomes distant during misunderstandings.

Honestly, right now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope again and emotionally exhausted.

Looking for advice on how to respond to his emotional distance and what steps to take in handling communication in this situation.

utang nya kasi yun nung naghahanap sya ng work dito sa Laguna, pero from Batangas kasi sya. 2 years mahigit na rin kaming LDR nd nung nakagrad sya neto lang, sinabi nya sakin na dito daw sya sa Laguna hahanap ng work para malapit sakin, kasi madalas na kami magaway and may point na di ko na talaga sya kinaya at nakipaghiwalay pa ko non. pero dahil mahal na mahal.. of course i helped him to land his first job pagkagrad nya.

dito sya nagstay samin habang naghahanap sya ng work, pero yung naging work nya, si papa ko din ang nagrefer sa kanya, and may barracs sila doon. so minsan lang sya pumunta dito samin kada day off nya. medyo malayo din kasi yung workplace nya sa bahay namin.

pero ubos na talaga ko. i gave him another chance nung gumraduate sya na babawi daw sya sakin, na lahat ng perwisyo nya daw sakin babawi daw sya, aayusin. alam mo yung mga empty promises lang? yung mga linyahan lang na binibitawan just to make someone stay?

wala na napagod at naubos na talaga ko. nagiging toxic na rin akong magsalita at ayoko na ng ganon. problema nga lang yung sa utang nya. hindi ko naman babayaran yang lecheng utang nya na hindi naman ako nakinabang ni singkong duling, wala pa kong natanggap sa mga sinweldo nya.

pano na ba tong gagawin ko? puro perwisyo nalang dala sakin. emotional intelligence nganga. kahit simpleng diskarte sa pagkain kapag nauubusan sya ng allowance, ako pa magiisip, pauutangin ko pa ulit. pucha. ayoko na talaga. leche. ano titiisin ko pa hanggang sa matapos nya yung mga inutang nya? kasi kahit utang nya yun, pangalan ko yun at ayoko namang masira ako sa mga lending lending na yan. binabayaran naman nya pero ayoko na kasi makipag communicate, suko na talaga ako. sobra na yung disrespect ko sa sarili ko na hinahayaan ko pang gaguhin nya ko.

should i just block him para matapos na sakit ng ulo at puso ko, or idk gulong gulo na ko

My boyfriend (M22) cheated on me, while we were still trying to fix things in our relationship. We study in Manila, and we have been official for 7 months and known each other for more than a year.

He started talking to another girl from Instagram, and this went on for a week. I caught his messages on imessage and it’s still bothering me.

Before he started talking to this girl, we were caught up in an argument because of my lack of effort during our relationship. During my graduation, I didnt make him feel important enough after he has waited for me for so long throughout my senior year. He told me that he felt like he was only waiting for my extra time, and that he didn’t feel valued in the relationship anymore. There were instances that he mentioned that I actually realized the truth about our relationship and my lack of effort. He didn’t use this as justification though, he knows he did me wrong, but that’s the reason behind why he did it. He wanted to feel happy again.

When I was trying to fix things with him, I told him na “babawi ako”. This went on for 2 weeks, but during this time, he chose to seek validation from another girl on ig. They started talking flirtatiously and they even planned going out to the cinemas. I caught his messages, and since then they were no contact. The girl didn’t know he had a girlfriend when I asked her details about what happened, and she was really kind to answer my questions.

I am super confused about my emotions, because I really love him. I know that I had some shortcomings, and I also recognize that he crossed so much boundaries when he decided to talk to the girl. They didn’t actually see each other in person, or had any physical interactions.

A part of me wants to give the relationship a second chance because I see his willingness to mend the relationship and rebuild the trust. But, there’s also this part of me that thinks that if I do so, I’m betraying myself and my principles. Back then, I was the type of person who had cheating as her non-negotiables. But having experienced it now, it’s so much easier said than done.

TLDR: My boyfriend went behind my back and talked to another girl while we were trying to fix our relationship. Should I give him another chance?

Can an avoidant–anxious relationship work?

I (26F) have been with my partner (31M) for almost a year, and live-in kami for around 3 months na in Bulacan. Pag naiinis siya sakin, hindi niya ako kinikibo. Walang updates, walang kahit anong message, and it would last for days. As someone na gustong mapag-usapan and maayos yung issues, palagi akong nag-rereach out. Pero pag nag-reply na siya, hindi naman niya ako sinasagot nang maayos.

Pero ngayon, hinayaan ko siya. Tinatanong ko lang kung may nakalimutan siya pag paalis na siya sa bahay. Sumasagot naman. Pero kung walang kahit anong message, hinayaan ko lang.

Then, may appointment ako kanina sa psychologist (first appointment). Advice sakin ay to talk to him.

Isa ito siguro sa mali ko. I bombarded him with messages explaining my side and what I have been experiencing the past few months (burnout, heavy mental load, etc). Hindi na rin ako nakatiis kasi three days na kaming hindi okay

He called my explanations “excuses” and ang dami ko raw sinusumbat. Sinabi rin niya na alam ko naman daw sa sarili ko kung ano ugali ko at mali ko. Sabi pa niya na sobrang bida at pa-victim ako. Hinihingi ko naman yung side niya para maintindihan ko rin siya. Pero hindi niya ginagawa.

Masaya naman kami kapag walang away. Gusto ko lang naman mag-work to. Gusto ko lang na ma-work namin yung mga issues. Baka mali ako ng approach or mali yung pagkakasabi ko. May way ba para mag-work yung relationship namin? May mga successful stories ba na ganito rin yung dynamic?

Hi all! 27M NGSB, late bloomer, but had experience na sa dating, they rejected me. Then, I met this girl by January 2026, my 3rd date. Quick background lang sa kanya, galing siya sa 4 years relationship and at that time 6 months palang silang break ng ex niya, and walang involved na cheating, bumitaw siya dahil walang plano for growth and future ang ex niya, at siya lang daw nagdidrive ng relationship nila, ayaw niya ng stagnant. I must say yapper siya, and quickly attached siya sa akin since I maintained my purity for 27 years.

​ Siya ang pinakamatagal kong date. Shopping, running, foodtrips, roadtrip and even hiking nagawa na namin. So thats why on April, I said na I am serious in pursuing her, I already rode my bicycle from Cavite to Quezon city for an impression sa father niya this May, which is sign that I am serious in pursuing her.

​ So far sa una enjoy ako siyempre, pero after evaluation and realization siguro, may mga ulap na lumilitaw na sa ulo ko, na baka panakip butas lang ako, at ngayon lang rin kasi nag sync sa utak ko yung sinabi niya sa early talking stage namin, na kamuka ko daw ex niya, does it sounds concerning? 🤣. Pero so far okay naman kami, andun yung essence of love towards sa akin, gifts plus clingy siya ganun, I do reciprocate naman.

​ My only concern here, ayun nga it doesnt changed the fact na galing siya sa long term, overwhelmed ako sa past experience niya. How to overcome this current mindset ko? also, is it wise to detach if di ko maovercome to?. Magiging less of a man ba ako if i choose to detach? Should I stay and risk for possible growth or leave habang maaga pa? I fear lang for her baka di ko mameet yung wants/demands na gusto niya in future eh. Humingi narin naman ako assurance, di na raw siya babalik, and confirmed no contact na sila, I like her transparency rin, kasi iniinvite siya ng kapatid ng ex niya sa isang event and rejected the invitation. ​ ​

Hey Reddit from Quezon City Manila PH, I just need to put this out into the universe because my chest feels incredibly heavy right now and I really need some advice. My girlfriend and I were together for almost four healthy, beautiful years. She has been going through some really heavy personal struggles recently, dealing with past traumas, depression, and anxiety that she deeply wants to fix. A few days ago, she made the painful decision to break up with me because she felt like she was becoming way too dependent on me to get through it all. She didn't want her struggles to burden me, and she realized she needs to find her own healing and learn how to stand on her own two feet entirely on her own. She just doesn't have the emotional capacity to maintain a relationship while sorting herself out and addressing her mental health.

The timing of it makes it sting even worse. We took our licensure exam recently she passed, but I failed. Back when we were completely okay and pushing through the review, I made her a "365 Jar" filled with 365 handwritten daily affirmations so she would never feel alone when I wasn't physically there. It was supposedly my gift for her passing the boards, but things collapsed so fast that I never even got the chance to give it to her. It’s just sitting here now. It broke me, because I loved her with everything I had. I was the guy who was ready to marry this girl and stick by her through everything, but I had to respect her choice to walk away and find her independence. We had a few back-and-forth logistical texts over the weekend, but last night, we finally had a long, heartfelt closure video call. I cried, she cried, and I told her that even though I envisioned saying wedding vows to her instead of closure words, I love her enough to let her go so she can grow. I told her I was incredibly proud of her, and that we both need to focus on our own paths now.

It feels deafeningly quiet in my room right now. The urge to check my phone or see if she texted after the call is insane, but I’m holding the line. I gave her a beautiful, dignified goodbye, and I left with my head held high.

I feel lost. Gets ko yung reasons, I completely understand the psychology behind it, but I'm still lost. Ganito pala yung peaceful breakup walang sigawan, walang galit, puro pagmamahal lang pero hindi talaga sapat ang love kung walang capacity ang tao.

Right now, the silence is heavy. Paano na ba gagawin ko? Need advice on how to progress and actually heal from a peaceful breakup when you still love the person completely.

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me to fix her past traumas and anxiety because she felt she was becoming too dependent on me. It happened right around our licensure exam results she passed, I failed, and I never even got to give her the 365 affirmation jar I made for her. We just had a peaceful, heartbreaking closure video call where I officially let her go so she could heal. I understand her reasons completely and we ended on dignified terms, but I feel incredibly lost. How do I move forward?

I don’t know how to move on. I’ve deleted all the pictures that im aware of in my phone. Should i throw away everything he gave me? How do i unassociate him with songs i like? I want to move past this. I dont think about him as much but will that help? Or am i just suppressing my feelings? I still cry about it. Is it okay if i still cry my heart out even 9 months after? He was a good bf, i thought he was the one. but things just didnt work out. Sometimes i still wish we worked things out, but will I be happy? I still love him but it’s a little different now.

What helped you move on? How can i tell that ive moved on?
Edit: manila based

I(32M), nalaman ko na may ibang kinikita or lalaki iyong boyfriend(30M) ko, late ko na nalaman na co-worker(39M)
(more than a year) niya pala pero not same department. But late March 2026 lang sila naging close or naging malalim ang apg uusap nila. One time, humingi ang bf ko na mag “me time” muna daw siya para makapag unwind and makapag isip isip since stress daw siya sa work and lahat. But before that day, may work pa siya with some of his friends and opted to makapag beach after ng work since malapit lang naman daw. So I asked my bf (30M) na samahan ko nalang siya since wala naman akong gagawin sa weekends, but he told me na wag na daw kasi nga “me time” and kasama daw niya ang isang friend niya na co-worker niya(26F) na close niya talaga and at ang iba pa daw at marami sila.

Dumating ang araw na pumunta na siya ng beach at small updates lang ginagawa niya and I don’t want him to bother na rin kasi nga “me time” sabi niya and may kasama rin naman siya. Pero hindi siya nag uupdate if kasama na niya si female friend(26F). Nagsend lang siya ng pictures ng kinakain niya and san siya pumunta. Late afternoon, sinabihan niya ako di raw siya masasamahan ni female friend(F26) kasi may kasamang iba and mag iinom daw.

So sinend niya ang photo ng kasama niyang co-worker(M39). And doon ko talaga naramdaman na may kakaiba. Tinatawagan ko BF pero di siya sumasagot, after an hour doon na siya sumagot and nagalit bat daw ako tawag ng tawag. Sinabi ko na kakaiba iyong feeling ko sa kasama niya, kasi di ko kilala and never naman niya nabanggit na kasama niya iyong co-worker niya (39/M). Imbes mag explain or bigyan ako ng assurance, nagalit pa kasi madami daw akong tanong and judgmental daw ako. Blinock niya ako that night.

Noong umuwi na BF ko after 2 days, nag usap kami. Sabi ko bat niya piniling makasama iyon instead of me and hindi totoo na kasama niya talaga si co worker(F26) kundi iyong isang lalaki. Confused daw siya and gusto daw niya makapag isip. Pero sabi ko paano ka makakapag isip eh sinama niya nga iyong other guy at sabi pa niya ka fling or trip niya lang daw iyon(M39). Nagalit ako sa bf ko and inexplain sa kanya iyong ginawa niya, instead humngihi ng sorry and everything, nagalit pa sakin dahil sa naging reaction ko at siya pa nakipagbreak.

Gusto kong ayusin sana naming dalawa ng ng bf ko pra makapag rebuild and all. Pero ayaw na niya. Sabi niya, tatapusin na daw niya iyong namamagitan sa kanila at sa amin. Wala daw siyang pipiliin.

Nag decide kami ng bfmag no contact for a month para makapag isip and process everything.

Pero nalaman ko na nakikipagdate siya sa iba and tuloy2 pa iyong communication niya sa coworker(M39) niya.

Nalaman ko na may boyfriend(M34) din pala ang coworker(M39) niya na walang kaalam alam sa nangyayari.

TL;DR I feel so helpless, mahal ko iyong bf ko and trying to win him back para makapag simuli uli pero nasasaktan na rin ako. Should I let him go na ba? Should I tell or inform the boyfriend (M34) ng co-worker(M39) sa affair ng bf(M30) ko?

Though, hindi kami official but we've been talking for more than 3 months na. We give each other small updates, saying goodnights, late night talks and etc.

​

Label namin is friends but it felt more than that. Pag mag nonotes ako about being inlove, magrereply siya na "sino yan ha", and I always play it off like "secret" or "wala hahahaha".

​

Earlier this week ganyan trip namin, nag aasaran kung sino ba gini-gatekeep ko. Then, binigyan ko siya ng hint kung sino, of course dini-describe ko siya. Pero, sabi niya na mag bibigay din daw siya ng kanyang hint, para daw fair sa akin.

​

Nagulat ako dahil hindi ko inakala may nagugustuhan siya. Dini-describe niya at malayo sa akin. Therefore, may iba siyang gusto.

​

Ano gagawin ko? Masakit man sa damdamin but all the blame is on me. Kasi nag assume ako.

​

Pabayaan ko nalang ba? Should I keep my distance so that mawawala na nararamdaman ko?

​

Kahit ang petty ng kwento ko, sana naman ma bigyang pansin niyo