That person who counts calories, knows every ingredient, eats mostly plant based, cooks their own meals, eats at scheduled intervals, measures their blood sugar spikes, does physical activity everyday, does preventive exercise like stretching and core work.

I moved my parents out of their house a couple years ago. I'm 51, it was my childhood home since a newborn. We lost my dad last year, but my mom is still thriving at the place I found for them 3 miles from me. I have a sibling who does a lot of photography, so there's certainly a level of stess about getting rid of any photos. But there are A LOT of them.

Me and another sister went to clean out the house and took a ton of boxes of photos. We filled 3-4 of those big black tubs with yellow lids with just photos. Discussion about what to do, to scan etc came up. I got a nice photo scanner. But now let's be realistic, what next?

Solution - well, this doesn't solve anything, but this is what my husband came up with. We have gotten my mom and his mom Aura frames and try to keep them updated. Great idea, really. My husband surprised me with the biggest one they have. The scanner might not be perfect, but the goal is to see them, just just create another bit of invisible storage (on someone's computer) that no one will ever see.

His reasoning (and ultimate goal of getting these boxes out of here!) was after a had already sprung for a photo scanner to put the ones I loved into the aura so I actually get to see them. Simple. Brilliant.

It has also help me reframe what photos I want to save. Should it go into MY aura? is it worth it for me to see again? Will the pictures that I know my dad took of random things popping up on screen make me happy? Yes. Yes they will. But also, it helps me think of who or why I would save photos for. This is about what I want to see, what in those boxes I feel I am missing out on.

I have already decided that I will look at the photos for value for these things: if I care, if it's interesting, if it documents something great (old car, what the house looked like), or if it might matter to someone else, someone I am close to. Like my niece with a shitty parent (my sister) that might love to see pics from her childhood that are somewhat lost to her.

The end result might be boxes of photos I hand off to my other photography sister, if she has strong feelings about losing photos that can be her issue not mine.

The person that has a horseshoe up his ass.

That they win a disproportionate amount of draws, contests and 50/50s. That those that know them well just expect them to win in advance. This person might even have won a minor lottery cash prize.

My Dad passed 2 years ago and my Mom a year before that. I was the executor and everything is closed, all paperwork complete and any government agency has been notified.

Edit - good points made by all and thanks. Yes, I certainly plan to keep the death certificates but what I'll do is just scan everything, store it on a thumb drive and put that in the safety deposit box or, just put the paperwork itself in the safety deposit box. Probably the latter.

Prefacing this to say Parenting Reddit hasn't been a great resource for this sort of question.

I am looking for experiences or advice on how to cohabitate with my son and not be forever parenting. I (late 40s) want to have my own adult life. I want him (early 20s) to have his own adult life. We want to exist like roommates, but obviously we care about each other as family does.

I think for me, I need to let him handle stuff and not jump in to fix stuff before being asked. For him, he needs to feel the need to take initiative and not assume Mom will take care of everything. Being a parent and child is a hard habit to break, and to an extent we'll still be responsible for the other. I'll always be his mom, and he'll always be my son. We don't want to feel trapped though.

So any advice? Has anyone done this and felt it was successful and sustainable? As a side note, it will benefit both of us financially, and the eventual plan is to be in more of a duplex or separate house, same property situation, or even a house spread out enough where we're not irritating each other with different schedules and noise levels or house guests.

Is there a way to create a last will and testament completely for free while separating, 401k, assets, liquidity, and right of attorney (medical) between multiple different loved ones

As a middle aged person. Largely due to crowds, logistics and prep needed. That you will respectively decline if invited.

Festivals

Outdoor concerts

County fairs /Midway

Amusement parks

Super malls (especially during Black Friday shopping)

Parades

Street bazaars

Pub crawls

Conventions

NYE parties

Bachelor/ Bachelorette parties

Baby showers

Yesterday, My girlfriend of 3 months(seeing each other for 4 and a half month) broke up with me. I know it sounds minimal but i can’t comprehend the feelings im going through. in our whole duration we never had any arguments or disagreements, we were healthy loving and purely just happy. She ended it with me yesterday randomly at night when she changed our saturday plans from dinner to just a walk but i knew something was wrong and i asked to call.
I was out for dinner with the family and she said that she was reviewing if she wanted a relationship, she was overwhelmed about the rest of year 12 (2 and a bit months left) at skl and work and potentially missing out on stuff with friends. I felt terrible so bad i started crying in the middle of the road, i asked why she wouldn’t want to sort this out with me on text but she said she seemed clear on her point, i have no resentment only confusion and sadness at the moment, she said i was too dependent on her and my emotions swayed when she was sad i was sad and if she was stressed i became stressed. All i wanted to do was help her out of it, make her feel better and then i would as a result. I understood that it was a huge weight for her to bare and I was seeking advice from friends on changing it.

She said she felt like it was unfair on me that i put so much effort into the relationship and she didn’t do as much and then what broke me was she said she didn’t think love me as much as i loved her to which our relationship was all love and cuddles and kisses and affectionate yet also enjoyable moments, for her 18th i got her a 400 buck necklace and some other nice things with a card and i said i love you for the first time that night and she smiled and said it back, now she’s not sure if it rlly was love or it wasn’t as strong as mine, i didn’t care i knew relationships have some unbalance and that she also said we are opposite people, she’s independent and im dependent on her, she didn’t give me a chance to fix that.

She also said that it was all her and nothing about me and i had been a great boyfriend, i did nothing wrong in the relationship and we were talking about going out to nice places for our 6 months and like even a holiday together next year. i’m just annoyed how she left me in the dark and didn’t even talk about it with me and she did instead with her friends and family. i also didn’t have a great balance in the term 2 and realised i relied on her for emotional connection a lot. She said seeing each other once a week was “a lot” and everything went so quick in 3 months.

The start was great, got off like a house on fire after we met at an 18th. We had things in common and a genuine liking to each other. I planned everything and just an absolute shock to the system when she said it to me. I had a falling out with a friend early in our relationship and i was relying on her for me to make me happy and so i could get reassurance that the relationship was secure, i didnt rlly get that reassurance but i knew she wasn’t the person to openly say it but she appreciated me. Making plans was the only think i looked forward to during the week and i would drive home (just got licence when we were dating) crying bc i was so lucky to have a girlfriend like her if that was dinner with her family and leave at 10,11,12 or sometimes 4am, it was in my eyes love that would never die. We had her brothers 21st 4 days ago and i thought she was avoiding me a lot and not talking to which i was just looking into it too much but i brought it up with her anyway, in the end it was me apologising because i saw that there was nothing wrong with it but she then said she cried the next morning( our 3 months) because she wanted to just think things over, we talked about it briefly and then she was fine for 3 days and then was quite cold to me on the phone when we broke up, she didn’t sound emotional and ik everyone takes it differently but still that hurt too because i do know she loved and cared about me a lot. We had one sleepover at my holiday house exactly two weeks ago and we got intimate and both had our first time having sex which was so wholesome and such a growth in our relationship. I love cuddling her, kissing her and just her smell and i’m never going to be able to talk to her lovely family again. I feel like shit at the moment and hopefully someone can provide some insight or advice, i understand from reading some of these posts that it’s so minimal but i really would like to see someone’s perspective. We ended on good terms and i wished her well for the rest of the year 12 while battling tears and hung up. she hasn’t removed or unfollowed me on everything yet and i am clinging to hope but like my best friend said, i can’t do that. about to go into the most important term of my life and i lose what i would call my world.

So I'm 44 now and apparently my eyes have decided I need help with both distance and reading. I've been nearsighted since college and only ever wore single-vision, so this whole bifocal thing is a first for me. The part that worries me is the adjustment everyone talks about, the line in the lens, your depth perception going weird on stairs, all that. One of my coworkers tried them, lasted maybe two weeks, then gave up and went back to carrying readers around. I'd lose those in a day.

My eye doctor quoted me a number that made me wince, and honestly the frames in her office were pretty limited too. So before I commit, how did you guys handle your first pair? Did you just go with whatever the office offered, or did you find somewhere better for the lenses and the price? Trying to figure out if it's worth shopping around or if that's a rookie mistake with bifocals.

Some examples:

If a handsome guy

- Their workstation has a continuous stream of female coworkers "stopping by" for flirty chit-chat.

- Their corny jokes get exaggerated laughs from women.

- Female neighbors bring them prepared food dishes.

- Women cause fake incidents as an excuse to interact with them (seeking assistance, causing a mishap near them).

- Female bosses openly bend the rules for them and usually slip into profess their infatuation with their looks when their guard is down (work party, travel conference).

- Female "friends" gatekeeping him against other female suitors; to the point of a near physical brawl.

- Older women being very "handsy" with them.

- Women they just meet directly offering no strings attached sex with detailed logistics (right now, her place around the corner, doesn't care if he's taken).

If a beautiful woman

- Being offered expensive gifts (especially travel) right away.

- Every male "friend" eventually slides into their DMs professing their love especially when they are drunk late at night.

- Men in cars almost causing accidents to abruptly pull over and pick them up when they are walking.

- Not having to pay for customary items like coffee, alcohol, food dishes, travel upgrades as the vendors will "comp" it for such a "special customer".

- Strangers they meet once by happenstance will go to extreme lengths to find their contact information afterwards.

- Older men show them inappropriate interest under the guise of "career mentoring" and "life coaching".

That they are so transparent, good natured, smart and interesting. So when a new media clip hits your algorithm, you will press play instinctively and settle in for a treat.

Matt Damon

Peter Dinklage

Edie Falco

Eddie Murphy

Jason Alexander

Lance Reddick (RIP)

Allison Rosen

John Leguizamo

Jared Harris

Viola Davis

Bryan Cranston

Ricky Gervais

Barack Obama

Maven Huffman

Ken Jeong

Kathy Griffin

Julia Louis Dreyfus

Emilia Clarke

Usually through bitter life lessons.

"There's no such thing as a free lunch"

"When you marry for money, you earn every penny"

"When people tell you who they are, believe them"

"If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room"

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching."

Watched the Spain vs France World Cup semifinal at home last night and I need to know if anyone's body just completely gave up before halftime even ended.

I was on the couch before kickoff figuring I'd be up and pacing around like I usually do during big matches. Nope. Once that opening whistle blew I was basically frozen in one position not moving a single muscle—every single Spanish attack had me tensing up, terrified France would hit a counter to level things early.

Around the 35th minute I tried to shift and my lower back just said no. Like it genuinely would not cooperate. My neck was stuck at that weird forward angle you get when you’re glued to the screen watching Oyarzabal and Pedri link up in the final third. I don’t even remember breathing normally, every pass and tackle had me holding my breath tight.

Halftime whistle goes and I try to stand up. Took me a solid 10 seconds to even get upright. Everything was stiff, back, shoulders, both calves for some reason. I’ve sat through full NFL Sundays with less damage than 45 minutes of that nail-biting first half, Spain’s relentless pressing had my whole body locked in tension the entire time.

Ended up grabbing the skg massager next to me, hit it twice on the neck and shoulders while I refilled my drink. Stood there in the kitchen for a bit, stretched, tried to shake off all the built-up stress soreness before the second half kicked off.

The wild part is Spain vs France was so unbelievably intense I forgot about being sore for most of the second half. When Oyarzabal sealed the second goal to lock in the 2-0 win and send Spain through to the final, I jumped off the couch without even noticing my aches. Then the final whistle hit and all that stiffness and soreness came rushing back tenfold.

I’m watching the World Cup final at home too and I’m already thinking I def need to pace myself better. Maybe actually get up during stoppages, or definitely not sit hunched like a gargoyle for 90 straight minutes glued to every single play.

I (M47) went through a traumatic, humiliating situation today. Something I had been intensely focusing on and working towards for years imploded in a very embarrassing, public way, squashing my long-term dreams.

I realize now that I had built a lot of my sense of self-worth and future hopes on this thing. Having lost it so suddenly, I feel adrift, ashamed, anxious and hyper-reactive, and extremely unhappy. I'm not sure how to handle these big emotions in a constructive way, so please suggest positive things I could do right now and in the coming days to distract myself and help me regain my balance.

What has helped you to get over things that feel so enormous that the thought "this too shall pass" feels inadequate? My own coping mechanisms learned from my dad have always been food, anger and alcohol but I want to do better.

Can't afford therapy, so please don't suggest that.

EDIT: Thank you all for your advice! It really helps. I'm too overwhelmed atm to answer, but I'm going to come back to your suggestions tomorrow with a clearer head, and will try to put your advice into practice too.

I have a bald spot somewhere between golf ball and tennis ball size. I’ve used minoxidil liquid for somewehere between 5-8 years. It hasn’t helped much. I stopped it and gave propidren a try for 3 months and it did nothing. So now I’m back to minoxidil AND propidren.

Is this preventing it from getting worse? Am I just throwing money away.

I should probably ask my doctor to prescribe finasteride but it feels so vain in the context of a medical checkup. I know that’s a little ridiculous, but I always fail to bring it up.

I do not have my life together. But sometimes I look at a small thing and feel like maybe I'm doing alright.

My nightstand used to have two charger bricks fighting for space behind it, cables everywhere. Got an anker prime 160w charger a couple months ago and now everything charges off one outlet overnight.

I also got green cables because I can find them in the dark and I'm unreasonably proud of that decision

Firstly, I would like to say that my friends in showbiz are support crew. You know the type that work behind the scenes that make things go but you have no idea who they are unless you look at the credits etc., but I digress. Anyway, our teacher friends were staying that they have to spend any increasing amount time trying to teach their students internet ethics for lack of a better term they get push back from out of touch admins, parents and the students themselves. Meanwhile, you have student getting upset that their favorite celebs won't reply back on X in the middle of class.

Our showbiz friends were very supportive because since they work with famous public figures they see how parasocial relationships have gotten out of hand even taken into account the fact that it is encouraged see K-pop. There is this online parasocial purity test that you can't win because you can't have any incongruity or make any kinda of mistake ever or that people can and do change. It all about confirming whatever bias you might have and the need to dogpile. The internet has this thing where once it decides a story or a person is something that is what it is. It doesn't matter if it's right and on the internet it is sooooo easy to be needlessly mean and entitled. One example that was brought up, is how it has become all too common at meet and greets for fans to across the line and for said fans to try go viral clout. And nothing is being done about it especially at smaller cons where a few bad tweets can sink the whole thing, so they let stuff slide. I say all this to say parasocial relationships have gotten out of hand and that it is getting harder to do something about it

Long story but I realized that I’ve never been loved. I’ve always had a fantasy about what it feels like and I often imagine what it feels like to help me sleep at night. I’ve always wanted to ask people in my life but they’ll think I’m weird and it’ll lead to more questions that I’m not up for talking about regarding my marriage of over 20 years.

In a longterm living relationship with someone you trust, how do you know for sure they love you? How do they show or tell you? Do you feel safe with them? Do yall talk openly? Do you sleep well at night when you know you’re loved?

So my family is wildly dysfunctional. When I was about 11-13 my grandma on my moms side randomly decided she wanted to be in my life more and I would start spending a lot of time with her, we went camping with my uncles & her then husband. She was also way more well off than my dad’s side who I stayed with, and she would help out buying my school supplies and art supplies.

I don’t know why but for some reason I started feeling a huge guilt, like I was scared she thought I was using her for money or something (which was dumb because honestly, looking back, she could afford it and WANTED to)

I started distancing myself a bit, but honestly the biggest reason I stopped really talking with her was because I fell very mentally ill and also my mom got into some drama with her. She wanted her to start including my younger sister which was fair, and she started to, but her and my mom always had tension. It lowkey felt like she was jealous of how much time she wanted to spend with us. I don’t even know why my mom decided to cut her off to this day.. but that’s a big reason I stopped I guess as well.

To add, I got separated from my mom from a young age and lived with my grandmother, but my mom definitely gets jealous of certain people in my family because In my opinion , she doesn’t like that they’re able to do more things for me than she can. Which I can understand…

I dont know, tbh after I was 14 I just haven’t really talked to her… I’m 22 now. I know she’s had a divorce, my great grandmothers died on both sides of my family… I miss my uncles. I know 8 years really isn’t good at all but I do wonder why SHE didn’t reach out much either during those years? I’m an adult now but I was a kid still then.

Now i definitely do want to reconnect, but I’m 22 and I’m barely getting started on my tattoo apprenticeship, however I don’t have a car yet and feel embarrassed a bit due to that. I feel like she will judge me for it, it is a bit silly but it’s genuinely holding me back. I don’t feel independent because I’m not.. to spend 8 years away from her and not have much to show.. she also lives about 1.5-2 hours away which is why I’m concerned about that… this past year I’ve been trying to heal the best I can, I don’t have much going for me but I’m in a better place than I was. It makes me sad for the years I lost , especially with her

Something that you swear you will do in the moment because you just got burnt and is usually the reason you are leaving the previous organization/job.

Making a separate log of events on your home computer/phone for potential contentious future issues. Including taking digital photos of documents from your screen or discreetly forwarding them to your personal email.

Cleaning up your files every month.

Keeping a special folder of your wins for your year end review.

Download a version of your employee handbook to your personal drive for reference after you leave.

Knowing all the provisions in your benefits package to take full advantage of.

Reading through your employee handbook thoroughly on your first week during orientation.