Does anyone have online Ostomate friends for commiserating? I am a 45 year old Dad of 5 - happily married - active and busy. But sometimes I just need that fellow 40s something parent to whine with on a very surface level… in a similar situation. I feel like if I whine too much to my spouse it probably gets old for her. As a Dad and a husband I feel pressure to seem strong and healthy to care for my family.

Getting my second and final surgery soon.

Just curious, how bad was the rectal stump surgery in terms of how hard it was to recover / how bad the pain was versus the first ileostomy surgery?

What was your experience?

How long did it take you to recover before you could go back to doing your normal life again?

I have barbie butt surgery scheduled in about a month. I already have my end ileostomy and that's great, but the rectum has been in a flare for 10 years and it needs to go. I'm ready, but with a couple of questions.

I tend to sit a lot but I understand I won't be able to sit for a while after surgery. After the first week, did you still lay down most of the day? Did you find yourself standing more?

Are there sleeping positions that are more comfortable during recovery? Back? Side with a pillow? I have maternity pillows, if those are helpful.

How long did it take to get back to moderate activity? Did you find that walking aggravated the wound?

Anything else I should know? I appreciate any advice y'all have.

Back in April, I was in a car crash and ended up with an ileostomy. My leg was also badly injured and I’m unable to fully bend it and can bear zero weight on it. Up until a few days ago, I was in a neck brace and unable to empty my bag. My partner has been doing for me since getting home.

We’re trying to figure out the best way for me to do this on my own. Does anyone have any idea of how to approach this? For a few more weeks, I won’t be able to stand and do it. He currently empties it into a big medical cylinder we swiped from the hospital but I’m afraid it’s too tall and will slip when I do it solo. Should I try emptying it into something else? And should we move where the opening faces? (Currently it faces outward so it’s easier to access but I know most people face the mouth inwards between the legs).

And I’m not sure I’ll be able to change the bag myself. My stoma loves to just keep on producing, even if I haven’t eaten or drank anything in hours. Any tips would be appreciated!

Excuse me if this has already been asked before, but does anyone have any experience with stimulants with a bag? I was on Adderall before I got sick, but stopped taking it after I got a bag, since it was extended release and would go right through. Does anyone have any tips/ideas on what meds might work best? I have been without this medication for 8 months now and it's honestly been horrible lol

I need some advice I’m a little over a month out from my operation and I am having skin irritation because my stoma like lifts off the skin and there’s a ring under / around it that is getting irritated and breaking down a bit. I was recommended to use aveno skin treatment which I started but I also have a bit of trouble cutting the back perfectly so I also want some advice for that too please help

I had just a negative outlook on everything after the 30 plus abdominal surgeries I’ve had over the past 3 years…… BUT I had my reversal today and I’m awake alive and the doctor was actually able to reverse it! I feel so damn blessed and relieved. Sorry I know I’m not asking a question or anything but damn it, this is the best day I’ve had in 4 fuckin years!

I'm feeling mostly better now, but oops. This is the first time I got a partial blockage since my revision surgery last year.

I spent the first two years with my ileostomy being incredibly cautious about food, then started gradually cooking more and sampling small stuff. That gave me a lot of confidence. I couldn't handle any fresh fruit or veg and I was craving it so much. After my revision, I waited about 6 months before being adventurous. Turns out I could now eat small amounts of berries, nuts, and even lettuce!

So.. I got cocky. I started eating full salads, snacking on fruit and nuts, and having small bites of stuff I know doesn't sit well, like cabbage or mushrooms.

Last night I had a delicious cheeseburger with steak fries and a side salad. Before my meal was even over I knew I messed up..! Those fries had potato skins and the salad was fresh arugula. The burger was stacked. I immediately felt painfully bloated but stayed out a few more hours.

Good lord, that night was rough. I felt like a balloon. My stomach was sore and nauseous. Zofran didn't touch it. Intermittent cramps. I couldn't sleep it was so uncomfortable. The worst was how dehydrated I felt but was too full to drink much

I took like 4 showers that night for some relief with the hot water and thought standing might help move things through.

By 8am I called it and took a sick day.

24hrs later I'm still feeling bloated and digesting last night's meal but no longer in pain

I love that I can safely eat more foods but I really have to stick to smaller portions.. I got too confident too fast..

I'm grateful it wasn't any worse and that I have an understanding boss.

... and honestly.. the burger was worth it

So as the title says I’ve scheduled my reversal for August 27th. It’s a bittersweet thing for me. Reversal was always part of the plan and for a while I wasn’t sure I even wanted to, but after a year of thinking about it I’ve decided to go through with it. I never hated my stoma, it saved my life and I’ll always be grateful for that. I’ve found such support in this community and I’m so happy I found this sub-Reddit.

That said, I’m looking for advice from those who have gone through it. I’ve been doing a lot of research and reading so I know all the risks etc. I’m just looking for insight from real life people who’ve experienced it first hand and what helped you before and after the surgery and how to prepare for recovery. Thanks in advance!

My sister is having surgery to have an ileostomy and she is wondering if she should do the Barbie butt surgery at the same time to just get it over with. I’m trying to help her research things. Has anyone out there done both these surgeries at once? Would love to hear from you. Was it the right choice for you? Any regrets. Please share your advice. Very much appreciate it!

I don't know if the product was enshittified, if the rings were improperly stored prior to shipment, or if it was the age of the rings, but they stopped working for me. When I'd stretch one apart, it would immediately tear. I normally kept one under my boob to heat it up for when I used it, and when they started to tear, I even sealed them in a plastic baggy and submerged them in hot water to soften them. Neither worked, and they still tore. I now use Safe n Simple barrier rings with aloe and zinc.

So now I have a bunch of these Marlen rings that are absolutely useless to anybody because they don't work as intended. It's not something I'd donate because the next person would have the same issue.

Is there something else they might be good for? I really don't expect there to be, but I'm hoping someone is creative enough that I won't have to just trash these.

What is your favorite ostomy hack/tip to share with new ostomates? Not something that they tell us to do in the hospital, or something our stoma nurse will clue us in on, but a hack that you’ve learned through the years or a tip someone once told you that you’ve never forgotten.

I'm still rather new to my ostomy bag and I have been hesitant to go swimming and I always change my bag after showers. I see lots of ostomates talk about swimming but do they have to change the bag after?

Did Hollister give up on a new ostomy bag recently and they went back to the old design that works best?

I'm terrified of swimming in a public pool. I need to decide if I am going to take my daughter to her swim class for a lesson whilst my wife is away on a work trip.

I've swam in private pools, done hot tubs, but never a public pool with the ostomy. Let alone with a 2 year old during a swim lesson.

I was thinking of wearing my shower belt and maybe a rash vest on top, something like that? Might make me calmer but I need some advice.

I know there are going to be folks that swim daily and have never had a problem, but my fear of having a public pool evacuated and need cleaning because of me made me answer the question with a hard and fast "no" to my wife and that really upset her which I hated so I'm looking to minimise risk as much as possible so I can turn the no into a maybe into a yes.

Hi all. Tell me what would you do? I have colonic inertia, pelvic floor problems, rectocele repair twice, more hemorrhoid banding than I can count, anal fistula surgery and have now developed fecal leaking. I have had to use laxatives for 50 years. It is to the point that they either don’t work or they give me diarrhea all day. I have so many days I can’t leave the house for one reason or another and I am just tired of it. However, I see an ileostomy has its own set of issues. For one I love to sleep. Not to mention leakage also. But I feel like at least I could leave the house. Give me your opinions. Thank you in advance!

Curious how many of you are in search of Ostomy Friendly underwear that aren't just black high waisted briefs? I know there are some retailers out there that make underwear for people with stomas but they all look the same and often times are expensive and uncomfortable. If there was a brand of ostomy friendly panties made in comfortable and pretty materials would you buy them?

Hello,

Not sure if this is allowed but just wanted to give quick heads up regarding SIIL company.

Trying to be as positive as possible, but fuck them and their company.

I have ordered two belts from them, where one was not in stock while the other one was. They have reached me regarding that, where I told them to send me the one in stock, and when the other one is restocked they can send it separately. Btw I have paid for ‘express’ shipping, which claims shipping in 3 business days maximum. Okay I get it, they had an issue with their stock and I can understand shipment being postponed for one day because of it.

Their support is so ass, they have a ai assistant who is the most useless ai model I have ever seen.

It makes empty promises and says that I can expect a call from them within 24 hours. (Spoiler alert, no call no shipment)

Now I am told that the shipping label was created today but UPS did not pick up the order, and the order is supposed to be with me on 29th. That is 7 days ( I PAID FOR EXPRESS AND I AM ALREADY WAITING FOR 7 DAYS)

I dont want anything for free or on discount next order. I just want what I have paid for. There will not be next time

TLDR Fuck them, fuck their company, fuck their useless support and for the first time in my life I wish their business fails

okay maybe not urgent but definitely need advice or tips on how to suppress the farts that come out of my stoma lol. I’m going to be taking MiraLAX and Dulcolax today for a colonoscopy tomorrow. I’m going to be in training at my new job and we’re all sitting in a classroom and it would be very embarrassing to be ripping fat ones in front of everyone I will be working with lol.