"If you were a bug, you would be a dung beetle, because shit is the only relevant thing in your life."

You're a stupid worthless nobody who will die alone, forgotten. I might even venture to call you... A failure. Don't worry, I already surpassed you.

Instead I will say that you smell like someone took you to Funky Town and left you there with no way to escape.

I came up with this one day and I have never been able to think of something else like it, anyone got any ideas?

Your moralism judges the entire world, but your politics spend bilions of dollars in wars declaring that you're doing it for "liberty", ignoring citizens who spend a lot of money in health, you are even proud of a system that exploits in a land that's not yours, but it was formerly a land of Sioux, Apache, Cherokee, Cheyenne, Navajo and other natives you eliminated through fierce violence and lives you tore away and restricted. Nowadays, it's sadly controlled by multinational corporations; and you guys are seeking to seize control of Greenland through money nowadays, just to spite yet another native population whose lives will be torn away

Have good luck dealing with Donald Trump, that subject represents the cultural mirror of every "american" person: persons that talk exclusively about work or life story. So damn irrelevant that when you will have 50, you will talk to your nephews about being kidnapped by aliens

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You look like you get lost in an empty room

You couldn't get a girl, even if you had a $100 bill sticking out your pants (Credit to BASEketball)

Is see that the wheel's turning, but the hamster obviously died

Bless your heart (devastating)

You're bout as bright as a dark hallway

You're not the sharpest tool in the shed

You're not the brightest crayon in the box

You look like you eat paste/crayons

When God was giving out intelligence, you must've been absent

You look like you chase parked cars

You're the load that should've been swallowed

That's a face not even a mother could love

I bet you would fall for the Nigerian Prince scam

The Penny has more value than you

I bet you believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows

You seem like the type of guy to crash out because the female M&M's "aren't sexy anymore"

What some more insults like that. I like using that a lot but wanna switch it up

Maybe it's petty siblings but I wanna know some good roasts or even tell if I'm being too much when my brother says "I'm built different." It's not in the normal sense like "how did you do that?" Or "how?" Instead he says it to literally everything. "Can you pass the salt?" "I'm built different" just to not pass the salt. "Sorry I didn't mean to bump into you" "I'm built different" like okay.... Cool ig. He will block my way and shove me then say "I'm built different" and walk away. Usual teenage boy shit ig. I've thought of a few like "that figure be built different" or "that's not the brag you think it is bud' "built different.... Nah that narcissism built different." But idek if those are good. Your opinion?

Poor Kuzka’s mom. Another working girl servicing Putin and the Kremlin for fifty years, and still more reliable than the entire Black Sea Fleet.

Бідна матуся Кузьки. Чергова “працівниця сфери послуг”, яка вже п’ятдесят років обслуговує Путіна й Кремль, але все одно надійніша за весь Чорноморський флот.

Don’t know where to start. So basically, there’s a fucking psycho stalking me and sending me emails with stories that she creates in her sick mind. Context: I was friend withs this girl, she has a degree in psychology. I told her about my life and many thing i had been going through at the time. I opened up to her cause I really trusted her. After some time ww just stopped hanging out, but she started appering in places I go to. Like the metro station I take to go home, or my workplace, even my house. I just told her a few details about my life but never those things. I told her she needed to stop. Sometimes she was waiting for me with gifts that I never accepted. But she kept appearing. I cut every tie with her after all of this, blocked her from my social media, but she keeps on sending this emails with stories about us that never happend, even threats. She claims she is not the one sending the Emails, but i know for a fact she is doing that. I’m really tired of getting harrassed and that nobody can help me with it. went to the police but they did nothing (they told me unless it got physical the wouldn’t intervene). Im just asking if someone here can help me to take down her ig account cause at this point idk what else to do. Not to mention this has been going on for almost 3 years and she wont leave me alone. She doesnt listen. I really tried talking with her. Her ig is @fernanda_ah_

Edit: I am up for questions regarding this matter

Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in a cage, but laughing at you. 🤡

what’s the best comeback you have for this? If someone sent this to you, what’s the reply?

I’m a 70 year old disabled woman. The 40-ish able-bodied man who contracts with my company for maintenance regularly parks in one of 2 handicap parking spots. There’s another disabled employee, and our organization is a public nonprofit, so many disabled and elderly people visit. His 20-something son also parks there occasionally.
Normally the other disabled employee and I take the 2 spaces, and have to walk much further if the spaces are occupied.
I’ve mentioned it to him several times, and have told my employer on multiple occasions, but I don’t think they’ve discussed it with the maintenance people.
I’ve decided it’s time to shame and belittle them, since clearly they’re terrible, passive aggressive asshats.
I need help with some cutting comments.
TIA.

Just for some context I live in the uk and I was trying to be friends with this girl. I was being polite and listening to her talk about her hometown (Maryland). It sounded amazing and I told her I’d love to go there one day. I realised soon after that she believes she’s above and beyond everyone else, refuses to meet people, constantly pretending to be “busy” with work (she’s in uni and got in trouble for not attending or doing the work), tries to act like she has insane money and tries to rub it in everyone’s faces. Just need some ideas. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it! 🤣

"You have the power of an game boy color while having the battery life of a switch"

Shit just got personal real fast.

Random shower thought i had

Me and a friend were debating swearing and insults. My point was that how something is said hurts more than the actual word. His point was that the word itself is what does the damage.

For example, I can call someone a “MF” in a joking, admiring way, or I can say the exact same word to insult them. Same word, completely different impact.

So I was just wondering what other people think about this.

That’s gonna be my newest way to burn someone if they get on my nerves.