My ex started dating a new girl and then unfollowed me around the same time. I was very hurt and curious why he unfollowed me, since the he never unfollowed the girl he dated before me, even though he said she was abusive and manipulative. But he unfollowed me, and I still don't understand why. One night, I was feeling emotional and just sent him the text asking why he unfollowed me, but still followed her. I agree it was a mistake and stupid to send the message, but at the time I was desperate and vulnerable. I never read the message, but recently I caught a glimpse of it and saw it began with "Honestly ?" followed by a paragraph. I'm terrified to read the rest of the message because it may actually impact my life if I do, but I am still very curious about what he said.

I’ve been dealing with a breakup for almost three months, and I honestly don’t know how to get past it.

We were together for four years. I moved to another state for him, left my job, supported him through some of the hardest moments of his life, helped care for his family, took care of his dogs, and built my life around the future I believed we were creating together.

I loved him deeply. I loved him so much, and the truth is, I still do. That does not mean I want him back. He betrayed my trust, and I know I could never return to the relationship after everything that happened. But the love I had for him did not disappear just because the relationship ended.

I do not feel anger toward him as much as I feel betrayed, broken, and completely lost.

I went into this relationship as a strong, confident, independent woman. I came out of it feeling insecure, weak, and disconnected from the person I used to be. I barely recognize myself anymore.

Some days I feel okay, but the bad days still outweigh the good. I question everything about myself, compare myself to the woman he chose, and struggle to keep it together. I know I gave too much of myself to this relationship, but I don’t know how to get that woman back.

For anyone who has been through something like this, how did you rebuild your confidence and move forward while still loving the person who was difficult to let go of?

It was toxic yes.

Its been on and off for months. Ok.

I was moving out to be closer to her.

July 1st in the morning , I paid my first and last months rent. My truck was packed to move the next day.

July 1st in the evening, she breaks up with me.

July 2nd, I moved.

July 2nd at night, she threatened to call the cops on me if I dont leave her alone. I was asleep and woke up to these messages. I didnt message or call after.

July 5th, Im alone ruminating about her. Then I wonder if she is already trying to replace me. So I download dating apps and create profiles for myself. I havent used dating apps before so I simply follow their prompts figuring that is the only way to get access. I search based on filters specific to her. I dont find her. Ok. Phew.

July 6th, all day I’m still trying to make sense of what just happened. I’m alone 3.5 hrs away from anyone I know and 2 mins away from the woman I love but she wants nothing to do with me.

July 6 at 6:39pm, she messages asking how the place is and if we can go for a walk. We meet, she apologizes and tells me she was influenced by something two people said to her. Two people who don’t know me or have met me. She understood that she shouldn’t have done that. Im still very upset but I accept her apology and continue the relationship. We even come back to my place and fool around a bit. She wanted to do more but I was tired and dirty. She leaves and I delete the apps right away.

July 8th in the evening, she is venting about things and I am listening. She has an interview for a higher position in her company the next day and shes preparing. But then she starts talking about other things and I notice that she hasn’t asked anything about me in a long time. Like weeks. So I ask if she ever wonders how Im doing or if she even cares. It turns into a fight. We call it a night.

July 9th is the day of the interview. Its at 3:30pm. She responds to my messages from the night before by saying she isnt going to be focusing on this today which I can appreciate so I didnt push. I messaged at 1:30pm just asking how shes feeling and if shes ready for the interview. We talk about it and I pump her up to give her confidence and making her laugh. I message her again right before and say good luck. She messages me after telling me it went well. She tells me she is upset about us not doing stuff. I explained that I was still upset with her basically abandoning me right before moving. I was even hesitant to kiss her when we went for a walk. We argue very harshly and end up blocking each other.

July 10th, I message in the morning hoping we can work through it but im blocked. Whatsapp, phone, instagram. She messages me on IG that night asking if I want my stuff back otherwise she will throw it out. I tried to tell her that I missed her all day and she laughed at me. I block her.

July 11th at night I noticed im unblocked on IG but dont reach out. She says I chase and beg and thats unattractive so I stopped to show her I am above that.

July 12th, I still stay quiet. But one thing that I noticed is her followers has gone up. IG has a glitch that shows followers even if the person is private and I see a guy in the same city is now following her. I see red. You see I was cheated on before and yes I recognize that I operated from a place of fear with her, so when I saw this, I lost all control. I reached out and basically lost my shit on her, something I deeply regret. I even messaged the guy, but he didn’t respond. She tells me that her friend found my profile on bumble and sent her the screenshot on the 10th. Turns out by deleting the app, it doesn’t delete the profile. I didn’t know. I tried to explain. That fight lasted 5 hrs.

July 13th, she calls me in the morning and she tells me her ex reached out on the 10th but she shot him down. I was bothered but we had our own issues to work through. By the late afternoon, she called me being completely normal. She says she is still upset but gives the impression we can still work on things. Her house is listed for sale too and there is a deal that is being negotiated so her focus is on that. We end the day on an awkward note but I had hope we could reconcile.

July 14th, she wakes up to a message saying the deal is done and her house is sold! She was so excited and I was very excited for her! She was talking about her future and even talked about my place in it. Even asked me if I was ready to be a stepdad, to which I said yes. She told me she would need my help with the move etc. i said no problem and began doing whatever I could. As the day progressed, slowly her attitude began to shift. She kept arguing and then she triggered me. I tried to stop myself but I told her to go back to her “boy toy” ex. But I caught myself quickly and tried to apologize. She went off on me for an hour straight even though I had disengaged. Around 4pm, she basically called and yelled at me and said we are not ok. I kept trying to reiterate that I didn’t think we were but I was willing to work on it. She kept arguing and that caused me to react. It ended that night when she sent me a couple of messages on IG and then blocked me.

July 15-18 complete no contact. Focused on watching YouTube and TikTok videos on healing from a breakup and other inner healing. But I learned that the deal fell through and her house didn’t sell.

July 19, I stayed in no contact but towards the late afternoon early evening, the anxiety got to much and I reached out. I called her privately and left her a voicemail just saying how much i missed her and how i want to make it work. A few minutes later, i did it again but this time she called me right back. I thought ok great maybe she was just waiting for me to crack. Nope. She spent the next hour ripping me apart. She had no love or warmth left. That was the last time I heard her voice.

July 20th, no contact until 9:15pm when she sent a message on WhatsApp saying tc of urself but then deleted it just 30 seconds later. I didn’t respond.

July 21st, i sent her a simple ? In response to her deleted message but im blocked. That evening, I went for a walk and as I was out I saw her with her kids. Completely by coincidence. Although it was my fault. There is one road that goes the length of the neighbourhood that basically gets me 5-6000 steps. I live on one end and she lives on the other so its kinda on me for bumping into her from afar. I didn’t say anything.

July 22nd, no contact but again while I was out for a walk I saw her on a bike ride with her kids. Again, i didn’t say anything.

She is under the belief I was trying to replace her when I wasn’t and she is also embarrassed because it was her friend that showed her. But it was all a huge misunderstanding but now I know she wont come back and I’m crushed. Yeah I got some news about my career that will change my life for the better but I cant even tell her.

My ex are were together for a short time, we had great times and near the end she was having issues with a family member with Alzheimer’s and she said she didn’t have the capacity for a relationship and was burning out, the weekend of the break up, the Friday and Saturday we had some fun, we ate some food, we watched a movie, we had sex then on the Sunday we broke up. Even then we were still cuddling and kissing and all that stuff. She insisted on keeping my stuff and driving me to the station where she said through teary eyes I hope I see you again and I would consider dating you again.

Fast forward days later I checked in on her and asked her to reconsider, foolish I know, she told me I was a wonderful person who deserves the love I give and she can’t give that to anyone. Then she’s removing me from her stories and adding me and then I was out with mates, she liked my story and opened her stories and highlights back up to me and we engaged in funny banter and conversation as I perceived that as a green light. Then that same night she removed me again so I called it out and was lovely about it and she essentially said her reasoning was “I don’t want you to reach out to every one and you haven’t kept your silence after promising so, I still care about you” so I said “I only reached out because I felt safe enough and perceived the like and conversation as a green light” I told her I wasn’t a stranger in her lite and I was very confused because we had shared such a lovely time. So I said I’ll give you complete space so you don’t have to worry but you can contact me on this so I unfollowed her. Next day she blocked me on absolutely everything, no word no nothing. Just read my message blocked me. I had a panic attack and reached out. She said “I don’t hate you” and then blocked my number, ever since then I tried to bypass it, I tried to talk, I just tried to understand why I immediately got blocked. Every time I tried to reach out she blocked me, over the past two weeks I’ve messaged her friend who was just watching my texts come through, keep in mind I wasn’t harsh or anything, I told her how ethereal i thought this girl was and to basically look after her, I won’t give up on her as most people did and I see her worth every step of the way. I then got sexually assaulted at a works night out so I reached out for some safety and she deleted our shared album and our couple photos after saying to me “I don’t delete anything a a general rule” i sent an apology to her friend today and an apology to her mum.

I know I was mainly to blame, was i completely in the wrong or right to be confused by the words and the constant story removal, I just feel like the rules were changed for me. She’s also avoidant. Please help. Am I doomed? Will she unblock me?

Also it’s been good to get that out

hes called me disgusting bcs i had a really bad time with my mental health and i didnt take care of my hygiene as well, so he broke up with me, then we got back tg and then he pinned me down and slapped my face 3 times, i told him stop and tried to get him off of me. he wouldnt. the next day my "bestfriend" tells him im cheating on him while i was sleeping, which btw i wasnt i told a guy on tiktok i was a lesbian and then blocked him 😭✌️ anyways so then he broke up with me again and yeah whatre yalls thoughts

I’ve never experienced heartbreak till now and it’s so fucking hard to cope. I can not stop thinking and crying. He made me feel like the only girl in the world now I just feel like a lonely girl in the world. I know things will get better but wow I’ve never felt so broken I’ve never felt pain like this. To love someone who doesn’t love you anymore. 😔

Hi, all.

This is my first time using reddit, so I apologize if the post is confusing or any errors, but I genuinely need some help.

I'm a hurricane katrina survivor. I witnessed terrible things as a child that I will never unsee, and it resulted in me getting polio at a young age (that I thankfully recovered from at the time) and a healthy dose of trauma. My parents themselves had a rough go of it, and we had to move constantly due to financial issues. I moved around about 14 times in my first 17 years of life. I never had any form of stability, and my father suffered terrible rage issues that also resulted in me getting brain damage as a child.

I thought when I went to college, everything would get better. Then, COVID hit, and I had to do something to keep paying tuition and staying alive since I couldn't return home (parents said "you're 18, so you can't come back, just another mouth to feed"), so I took a job working in a downtown emergency room, where I continued to witness terrible horrors that I do not want to get into here. But, I enjoyed the financial stability and being able to afford dinner every night, so I continued on to medical school.

During medical school, I was assaulted by a boyfriend and lived through that abusive relationship, and I was hit by a drunk driver that totaled my car. I also dated a nice guy, and I thought finally maybe I found someone nice to settle down with, and then he tried to harm himself due to his own traumas, so we broke up because I knew I could not handle caring for him like that. Shortly after in my final year of medical school, I discovered that I had a brain tumor that I had to undergo treatment for. Because of it, I lost a lot of friends who, funny enough despite going into the medical field, were just not ready to face their mortality like that. I graduated from medical school but never went to residency.

Around this time and while in treatment just before graduation, there was a patient who had remembered me from when I rounded on a psychiatry unit. They were very ill with psychosis and somehow found my information online and began stalking me, so I was in and out of court for that. Luckily, it is resolved now.

Finally, I get a good job in research, and I am excited for it, and then we get a new president in the U.S. and I am laid off. I find another job, and meet a nice guy trying a new hobby and he sticks around saying he loves me and all that jazz as I finish up treatment. Then, 2 weeks ago, after over a year of happiness together, his grandmother and mother accuse me of stealing a large sum of money from their house, claiming they could never truly trust me because I come from a poor family and because of my racial heritage. He could not choose a side because he lives with his family and loves them but also loves me, but I knew that really meant he was choosing them, so we broke it off.

I am just devastated. I'm 26yo F recovered from a brain tumor and a stalker, working a job I enjoy but making very bad money especially in comparison to my peers and their husbands, and now I have no boyfriend because of a terrible albeit racist and classist false accusation. I'm destroyed. When does the pain end? How do I keep going?

I have a lot of hobbies and good friends and enjoy my time alone, I guess it's just more about asking when do I get a break? Or is life just suffering all of the time, and I should prepare myself to live a tragedy? Is there something I am doing wrong? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

1 year on from break up. return to dating?

So its now been about 1 year since my break up. My first true love my dream dynamic and my dream Girlfreind in terms of looks. She dumped me because she wanted to sleep around. It absolutely broke me. The tears and emotions came heavy and the random rebound dates came fast and lasted a couple months. Tears continued almost daily for 4-6 months after. But in this 1 year time frame i have a new job which i love and is the best job i could ask for. I have lost 22kg in weight and go to the gym almost daily. Go for runs every day. Re invented my fashion and rediscovered my gothic side. I did alot of looking into attachment types. Worked on my anxious attatchment in day to day life feel mostly healed. Fully over her now. Yes she was invredible looking but totally wrong for me. Im feeling curious about dating again and i reconnected with my freinds and travelled alot.

Now my question i wanted to ask is. Should i go back to dating?. Im woreied it will be alot of digging to find someone good. I am also worried about bumping into my ex on the apps too.

Any advice?

Title. Me and my gf had an argument about her straight best guy friend who’s ‘like a brother to her.’ We were laying in my bed and she just out of nowhere said that he told her not to date me and that I’m not a good match for her. Then I said he’s probably saying that because he wants to get in your pants. He’s never even met me. The reason why he’s definitely trying to get rid of me is because everyone else she told about me and that I’ve met in her life likes me. Her family and girl friends do. He’s the only one and she’s listening to his opinion over everyone else’s which is so Fd.

She was drunk but playing with my head during the argument and said she had second thoughts about our relationship and she doesn’t know what she wants anymore but when she mentioned the best guy friend’s opinion later that’s when I realized where that was coming from. Then I said ok we should end this then. Then she begged me to stay and said she did want to continue the relationship and she just kept going back and forth saying she does and doesn’t want it. She said I’m too perfect for her. But she cares about me so much and is only dating me and only wants me. She said he’s never tried to sleep with her and he would never. I highly doubt it.

Well we had a heated argument about the ‘best guy friend’ and she called me gaslighting and manipulative when it’s clear he’s doing that not me. She left my place in the middle of the night then she sent me a text apologizing the next day saying she didn’t want it to end like that and I replied to her acknowledging it and that we should talk in person and she hasn’t responded in over a day. This is the first time she’s not responded to me in a day.

I’m her first relationship and she’s gonna throw away her first bf for nothing. Seriously so Fd. It’s been over 2 days with no reply. Why do this to me? I’m in so much pain 😞😞

Why even apologize if she was just gonna not reply to me? I just don’t understand…

Currently in the depths of heartbreak over someone I thought was my perfect person, but sadly his feelings for me plateaued. Although we didn’t know eachother that long (4 months) I’m personally I’m finding this harder than my two longer term relationships which were both 4 years each, and I guess it was easier because I was on the other side of the breakup. When something ends this early it’s so easy to put them on a pedestal and romanticise what could have been because we haven’t seen the good, the bad and the ugly. The problem is, I can’t even find any faults with him. He was emotionally and physically my perfect person, someone I thought felt safe with and the sad reality is he just didn’t feel the same way. When and how will this get better?

How could you do all that to me ?

I loved you so much beyond normal I don't think anymore loved you like that before or for you to be thier desire

What can I do now

How can I forgive you?

Why. ?

If it was meant to be they would have already had more chances than I can count man can be when you picked over so many times and picked last or disposed of treated like he has no value before it's too much I laugh my person says the word love now I look back over two years you can't remember any love giving by that person whoever whatsoever literally no effort no affection and you get a simple arm on the back Urban League something just shows a little bit of appreciation nothing got punished for every nice thing that ever did and discarded and they said it when you're talking about how they have to go on a break feeling to mention that the abused of the person for 3 months straight then the person called mowed on it and your reaction was to treat him like they were worth their time and of course you think they'd be happy and lucky to have the person back in their life and no they have to flip it around like it's the other person who's lucky I don't feel lucky at all the person I love refuses to do anything nice for me or make any plans and I don't know why I told her I did it I have no interest in dating somebody that can answer the phone or return the call he thinks will highly doesn't need to have to publicly ridiculate me like it's my life fault that they got a new phone number no just another day of being treated like I'm worthless but then go out and do what they want and look around you when they get around to you cuz I'm just lucky that way funny things to do when you ask what I want they could care less about them all the time and I'll never be treated with value or respect

So her and I have been broken up for 4 years now, and it was a very rocky relationship. We were both really immature and got really attached, me being an avoidant attachment at the time and her an anxious. There were consistent highs and lows throughout the entire relationship, but one day we got into a debate and didn’t talk for a week and she came back and wanted to break up. Since then, I’ve taken the time to develop and grow on my own. Initially I did start dating other people immediately, but then I did more self reflection, started going back to church, actually opened up about my feelings to friends/family, and got a therapist. Really tried to move forward and be the man I envisioned for myself and pickup on my shortcomings. Her and I talked a few times and it was about me wanting a second chance and she was not and did not want that so I left her alone.

Fast forward about a month, and she reaches out to me wanting to talk, as we live in the same home town. We talk and she basically tells me she hasn’t been working on herself and plans to do that at a later date, as it’s too stressful and time consuming right now(cause she’s going into the military). I was a little shocked but didn’t really make a fuss, kinda hurt because I’ve been in a lot of pain but she’s kinda just trying to have fun and liver her life, as she says. And I understand, but I felt like I could enjoy life and have fun with a partner. We talked a few more times after that but I had to put a boundary in place cause she wanted to hang out with me and be with me as a friend but didn’t want to date me. Following that conversation fast forward and we had a recent one.

She basically called me weeks later and was like “I miss you,” and “I want you to write me in basic training.” I said “I can’t do that because it would give me hope and I can’t write you as a friend be cause I love you.” She understood but felt like it didn’t hurt to ask. We stayed in the phone for 4 hours just trying to figure things out and what we are at this point. She basically told me that, she’s living right now to have fun, and doesn’t want the emotional responsibility or weight of a relationship. But she loves me and wants me in her life until she figures out exactly what she wants. She hates the idea of me being with other people, and them getting the version of me she wanted when we were together. She said she’s not really looking for other people, but I don’t really believe that cause why would she not want to commit to me but have me around if I’m not an option. She said she was afraid I’d never talk to her again if she was honest about what she was feeling like she wanted from me, and that she wanted to be reassured that I’d be in her life always. I basically couldn’t do that and told her that.

She cried and I cried cause it was hurting me and I didn’t really know what she wanted from me and why she didn’t want to be with me yet loves me so. It confuses me.

I know I had my multitude of issues in the relationship and I own up to it to her all the time. J discuss strategies of how things can be different, the help we both can receive, etc. But she just doesn’t want it, she wants me there in her life while she’s just having fun and it really makes me upset.

I told her “you’ll probably never hear from me again after this, cause you don’t know what you want yet you love me and all this other atuff. It’s just too much.” She acknowledged it and cried, and said she’ll “live me,” always and I told her that if she figures out what she wants one day, we can reopen the conversation.

But I’m not waiting for her. So my question is, what do you think she actually wanted and did I do the right thing? I love her more than anything and I just wish there was something I could do or say. I think she wants friends with benefits while she sees if there’s a better option out there for her, but she denies this. She says I’m perfect, but how can I be so if we can’t be together. It’s all over the place, so what do you think of the situation.

P.S. I’m at Virginia Tech college for EE, planning on going to the Marine Corps, and idk what else. Not sure if this sets the picture or whatever

This story of my heartbreak from the girl of my dreams literally she always has been and i thought our love was so real and genuine. we recently had a daughter whom i love to death and we were a family and that felt so good to have something. I come from knowing only brokenness and I was so joyful about being a family man. but one day, everything went south, just did. no reason. no closure, we spoked of getting married and there was no signs. it blows my fucking mind.. caught her yesrterday with some other dude dropping her off and i rushed that mf truck and tried pulling him out and i had so much rage i wanted to literally fuck him off so bad, ran over my foot. but anyway after alll that and crying a lot all week then that topped it just did it, relapsed hard a week ago, now im full blown just down on drugs, lots of them, and i wanna die lowkey. i dont know how to coparent even after this betrayal... id edplain more guys i just dont have the energy to do so. the thought of up and leaving states and just not talking to anyone sounds oddly appealing and at the same time gut wrenching but it feels like its what i need. where im at, im not living, im exhausted.

Aksar mard apne pehle ishq ke saath

Insaaf kar nahi paata...

Aur uski kami ka saara bojh

Baad mein aane wali aurat ke daaman mein

Mohabbat ban kar girta hai.

Jo lafz kabhi keh na saka,

Woh usse keh deta hai.

Jo waqt kabhi de na saka,

Woh us par luta deta hai.

Har kami ko poora karne ki zid mein,

Har khwaab ko sajane ki fikr mein,

Woh sab kuch de deta hai...

Kabhi uski zarurat se bhi zyada.

Kyunki uske dil mein ek malal rehta hai—

"Kaash us pehli mohabbat ke saath

Main behtar hota..."

Magar phir socho...

Us pehli aurat ke hisse mein kya aaya?

Na poori mohabbat,

Na poora saath...

Bas be-wajah ka inkaar,

Khud se nafrat ke sawal,

Aur adhoori kahaniyon ka bojh.

Usne to bas itna chaha tha

Ki woh ek baar ruk kar kehta—

"Chalo... phir se shuru karte hain.

Is baar sab theek karenge."

Lekin woh laut kar aaya hi nahi.

Shayad isliye ki har roz

Uski aankhon mein apni kami dekhna

Usse manzoor na tha.

Nayi kahani likhna aasan tha,

Purane safhe padhna mushkil.

Aur yun...

Jeet jaati hai woh doosri aurat,

Jise ek aisa mard milta hai

Jo pehli mohabbat ki haar se

Mohabbat ka har sabaq seekh chuka hota hai.

Magar pehli aurat...

Woh na uski jeet bani,

Na uski manzil.

Woh bas us kitaab ka pehla safha thi

Jis par galtiyan likhi gayin...

Taaki agle safhon par

Kahani khoobsurat likhi ja sake.

Recién me pasó pero él era mi ex y ahora está casado. No sé cómo manejarlo