Recently, my parents have been on at me about how I don't read my Bible and how I'm not so excited to go on the ministry during my summer holidays as when I got baptised 3 years ago (I was 12) .

This is the first week of the summer holidays, and my dad went on a rant at me about the fact that I didn't go on the ministry at all on Monday - Wednesday, and instead of going out on Wednesday morning, I went out with my 'worldy' school friend. My parents were yelling at me, and said it's the last time I'll be able to hang out with it anyone from school. It's SO unreasonable. This is my FIRST week of when I can just sleep in, but no, they want me to go straight out on the ministry??? Ive got SIX WHOLE WEEKS FOR THAT.

Then, later that evening, they made me have a meeting with them. They said I've changed, and it's a direct correlation between the fact that I've stopped reading my weekly bible reading, and my attitude changed. Idk I'm just so worried that I'm starting to wonder if it's true... Am I not wanting to go out on ministry because I'm not consuming spiritual things?

Then to top it all off, they went and said that they don't want to get through Armageddon into the paradise, and turn around and see that I was destroyed. I almost started shaking I'm so scared. I see the issues with the religion but what If it's all true? I don't want to be destroyed for just being who I am, and being friends with who I want, and loving who I love. I'm so scared. Does anyone have any advice or reassurance? How do you KNOW for sure that this isn't the truth?

I need a good talking to. Goddess Dix, if you're reading, show me no mercy. I don't know what's good for me😑

I haven't been to a meeting for over a year. I'm completely inactive. I recently took pity on a friend in the congregation. She needs help taking care of her elderly father (a friend of mine). He's a hoarder and is living in a death trap of a home. I've been helping to get the place cleaner and tidier. Her family won't help. The congregation won't help.

So. When I see her she offloads, gets extremely emotional about her miserable life in a terrible marriage with another jw. Etc, etc. I'm sympathetic, I listen, I validate.

This week I thought it might be my turn. I told her about the abusive treatment from the elders, my reasons for not doing the whole jw thing. The hell I suffered for years in the congregation.Told her how wonderful the last year of my life has been, in contrast. Her response? Well, Satan is blessing you so you don't come back! 🥺🤬she saw how much she'd hurt me and apologised. How can someone be so illogical? Her life is hell but apparently jehovah is blessing her. Mine is epic and it's Satan. Anyone else experienced this kind of idiocy?? Since when is Satan (not that I believe he exists) the giver of good gifts and perfect presents???? Ffs

My parents were contacted when I was about eight and became serious members when I was about ten or eleven. Looking at the experiences of those born in, I see I had a huge advantage.

By the time I was ten/eleven, I had made friends at school and knew how the worldly system worked. I had had Christmases and birthdays. When I came to leave, in my forties, I knew the ropes. I had done this all before - making friends and seeing "Satan's system of things" for what it was - flawed but not any less harmful then "the truth".

I made friends easily, navigated conversations, employment and relationships. This had been sewn into my character as a young man.

So when I saw people on here, born-in, talking about how hard things were once they left, in terms of the world, I couldn't understand it. I now see it. I had had a worldly grounding. I'd been there, albeit during my formative years, and that was vitally important.

I'm not sure if there's a one-size-fits-all answer to those who are struggling and I now realise that any advice I might have given was skewed by my own experiences. To all those in this position, you have my heartfelt understanding.

I mostly just stare into space or go on my phone during meetings and conventions, but during the 2026 convention I noticed a video of a woman who went to another church and didn't like it because they didn't focus on the bible. And then she went to a kingdom hall and suddenly everyone knew about the bible and they were actually studying the scriptures. Which is ironic, because I'm willing to bet that no PIMI has noticed that 80% of the time at a convention, the speakers are just talking about how great it is being a witness and they're showing videos of "other witnesses" who have had great experiences. There's hardly any actual bible teaching. It's all ads to make PIMIs feel good about being there.

I wonder if anyone else has mentioned this to PIMIs, and if so what were their reactions?

One thing I don't see talked about enough is how easy it is to compare yourself to people who weren't raised as Jehovah's Witnesses.

Sometimes I look at people my age and they seem so much more experienced with relationships, friendships, careers, or just... life in general. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm learning things in my 20s or 30s that a lot of people figured out years earlier.

I know everyone's timeline is different, but it's hard not to feel like I got a late start because so much of my life was shaped by rules I didn't choose.

Did anyone else feel this way? If you did, did that feeling eventually go away?

Hello all

I am so angry of what this "religion" (cult) have done, to my family, to my friends and to me. Not even counting other milions of people.

DISCLAIMER: I completely understand it is not really a wise thing to do. Nothing will change. But at least it would be an interesting social experiment.

I would like to print and spread some flyers containing some interesting informations. I am faded, still not disassociated, but I would like to gain the "APOSTATE" epithet (my friends already call me this way)

The flyers would be anonymous at first, maybe later I could make some more with my signature as author.

I am so interested in hearing scared JWs of my town telling that Satan is using apostates to lower their faith.

I REPEAT: I completely understand it is not really a wise thing to do. Nothing will change. But at least it would be an interesting social experiment.

What are somethings that PERSONALLY opened your eyes? While you were PIMI, what would really catch your attention?

I already have lots of material (thanks to avoidjw and other websites) but you know... "there is accomplishment through many advisers" (Prov. 15:22)

I’m from India and wherever I tell my mum that I don’t want to go to the meeting because there’s a lot of reasons behind it. Congregation people transportation even meeting place all are f***kd up. She doesn’t understand and starts fighting and yelling at me and wants to make me feel that I’m such a disgrace to the family and congregation. What can I do about it ?

Dear brothers and sisters, open your Bibles please and read with me Numbers 31, verses 1 and 2. Numbers, chapter 31, verses 1 and 2. And it reads:

“Jehovah then told Moses: ‘Take vengeance for the Israelites on the Midianites.’”

The order from Jehovah is clear:

Attack Midian and arry out Jehovah’s vengeance.

The Israelites kill every male, burn the cities, and take the women, children, livestock, and property as plunder.

But when the soldiers return, Moses is angry, and do you know why?

Because they allowed the women and children to live!

Now dear friends, turn your attention to Numbers 31:15-18, Numbers....verses 15 through 18:

“Moses said to them: ‘Have you preserved all the females alive? [...] Now you should kill every male among the children and kill every woman who has had sexual relations with a man. But you may keep alive all the young girls who have not had sexual relations with a man’”

Again, the order is clear:

1. Kill every male child,
2. Kill every woman who has had sex
3. Keep the virgin girls alive.

Now, imagine you are one of those girls:

The soldiers killed your father, your brothers, and every little boy in your family. They burned your home and took everything you owned.

Your mom stands beside you as a prisoner.

Mom is killed because she has had sex, but you are kept alive because you have not.

You are not rescued and you are not released.

You become plunder belonging to the people who murdered your family.

Now let's continue to Numbers 31, verses 32 through 35.

The Bible counts the plunder:

675,000 sheep.

72,000 cattle.

61,000 donkeys.

and last:

32,000 virgin girls.

Read it again.

1. Sheep.
2. Cattle.
3. Donkeys.
4. Virgin girls.

The girls are counted in the same inventory because they are treated as property.

Then the plunder is divided. Half goes to the soldiers.

Imagine it is your daughter.

They kill you, your sons, and your wife. Then they count your daughter beside the cattle and give her to the men who destroyed her family.

What does she choose? I know... NOTHING!

Where can she refuse?

Where can she leave?

Who asks what she wants?

Is anyone in the account rising their voice against this atrocity?

Nobody. She is a prisoner! She is loot! She doesn't have value other than a means to produce more males.

Calling her a survivor does not make her free. Keeping her alive because she is a virgin does not make this mercy.

But here is the cherry on top. Because we can't forget our loving god Jehovah.

Let's read one more verse friend Numbers 31:28

Read Numbers 31, verse 28:

Jehovah demands his share.

“As a tax for Jehovah, you should take from the soldiers who went out into the battle one soul out of every 500, of the people, the herd, the donkeys, and the flock.”

People.

Cattle.

Donkeys.

Sheep.

All taxed as plunder for Jehovah.

Now read verse 40:

“The humans were 16,000, and the tax on them for Jehovah was 32 persons.”

Thirty two human beings were taken as Jehovah’s tax.

Verse 41 says:

“Then Moses gave the tax as Jehovah’s contribution to Eleazar the priest, just as Jehovah had commanded Moses.”

Think again:

1. Jehovah orders the vengeance.
2. The soldiers kill the men.
3. Moses orders the boys killed.
4. The women who have had sex are killed.
5. The virgin girls are kept.
6. They are counted beside livestock.
7. They are divided as plunder.
8. Thirty two are taken as Jehovah’s contribution.

And the Bible says it happened just as Jehovah commanded.

Do not tell me god merely permitted this, the text calls it Jehovah’s vengeance.

Do not tell me the Midianites were wicked.

Was the baby wicked? Was the little boy responsible? Did the girl choose any of this?

No.

The boys were killed because they belonged to the enemy tribe and the girls were kept because they were virgins.

Apologists will say the girls were spared, spared for what?!

Their families were slaughtered. Their homes were burned. Then they were counted and handed over to the people who destroyed everything they knew.

The text gives them no freedom, no consent and no choice.

And do not hide behind historical context.

Historical context explains why ancient warriors treated women and children as property. It cannot make this loving, moral, or divine.

Because a loving god could have said:

Do not kill children. Do not take women as plunder. Do not own human beings.

But he didn't did he?

Instead, the Bible gives us an inventory:

Sheep.

Cattle.

Donkeys.

Virgin girls.

Would a loving god command this?

Let's remove Jehovah’s name from the story.

Imagine another religion claimed its god ordered soldiers to kill the boys, kill the women, and keep 32,000 virgin girls as plunder.

Would you call that god loving? Or would you call it an atrocity?

Use the same moral standard on your own book.

Steel your mind!

Critical thinking resource:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/1sql6ab/my_book_review_how_to_think_about_weird_things_by/

I received a letter in the mail with my name on it with one of the JW magazines, inviting me to explore the Jehovah's Witnesses. I suspect someone added me to a prayer roll or list after I vented some personal stuff in a few Facebook posts. I have never been a JW, but I was wondering if this was a common practice. I looked up the person who sent the letter and he was friends with someone I share mutual connections with. One of those mutual connections liked my posts, so I suspect it was probably them. Is this something JWs do? I have no desire to join them and I am at least happy they felt concern for me, but I see it as a cult. Any thoughts? I am choosing to ignore it but I was curious. Thank you.

Hi everyone

I'm a PIMO. I live with my parents so a situation many habe been or still are. Over the last 2 years I've developed a Television series based on my real lived experience within the organization.

I've got the cast, directors and producers. We are planning to have the series on Netflix. I'm preparing a crowdfunding campaign to raise some fund to cover certain logistics.

So, I just wanted to check if my community will be willing to help.

I will share more information next month as I start the campaign on Kickstarter. For now, I prefer to remain anonymous because I don't want my parents to know until the show is airing.

I will try my best to stretch to that point. All they know for now is that I'm busy with work😂😂

I quit my job last year to focus on my TV series because it requires time. Especially seeing the magnitude of the project.

All I cast is that it will be a series every EXJW will immediately feel familiar with and any ex member of any cult will relate to the story as they watch it.

So, see you guys soon. My identity and everything regarding the TV show will be shared soon.

Thanks for your help in advance

I met my Cuban girlfriend on an exJW FB group. I saw that she had a lot of exJW FB friends. I asked her if she was exJW too but she said no, but her mom's family were.

She was slow to tell me much about her family history but when we thought that she would finally be able to come here I suggested that she fly to Minneapolis and I would pick her up and she could meet some of my family. She said that she didn't want to meet them because I had told her that most of my family were JWs. When I asked her to explain, she said that she had been raped by a JW she had worked for. She got pregnant but she kept him away from his son and she raised him with her name and not the rapist's.

I told my sister and cousins and a JW I knew in my youth and they all told me, "you know that they really weren't a JW." They make me so mad because they can't imagine how someone at the KH could be hiding a dark side.

What have you experienced?

(NOT SUICIDAL)

As a closeted PIMO youth, this religion has made me ashamed and uncomfortable to even think about my sexuality. The whole "repent or die at Armageddon" is still drilled in my head. So is the misogyny. I don't even see myself with a husband.

And the problem is my hall isn't that bad. I see stories of child predators and how many convicted ones there are secretly in their congregation (my love goes out to them) and my hall is nothing like that. The people are nice but, I'm only in high school so, I dont think they would suspect me. Sometimes I talk to my mom about how I dont like meetings or field service. Then she asks if I love Jehovah. I always lie and say yes cause, I'm scared she'll shun me.

Im scared of even moving out because I dont have any friends outside of the hall. I was born and raised and homeschooled. All I have is reddit.

Currently watching lgbt TikTok on YouTube to not cry. Might talk to the trevor project(i love them their so nice)

Kia ora everyone. I wanted to drop a note here for the ex-JW community. As a fellow cult survivor, I know how heavy the journey out can be, especially dealing with the isolation, shunning, and deep religious trauma that comes with leaving a high-control organisation like the Watchtower. I volunteer with the team running Decult here in Aotearoa New Zealand, and I wanted to share an upcoming gathering focused on post-cult healing and systemic change.

On 24 and 25 October 2026, we are hosting the second Decult conference ("Voices of Courage: Pathways to Healing and Justice") in Ōtautahi Christchurch, with a full global livestream option. A huge focus of the programme is on coercive control, post-cult recovery, and upskilling mental health professionals so they actually understand religious trauma (something many therapists unfortunately still lack training in). It brings together survivors from various backgrounds, researchers, and trauma clinicians to share practical knowledge and advocate for survivor justice.

Whether you are based in Australasia or tuning in online from anywhere else in the world, you are very welcome to join. You can find the full details, speaker announcements, and livestream ticket info atdecult.net/conference-2026/. Wishing you all strength and clarity in your healing journeys.

Jehovah's Witnesses operate on the following premises:
P1: All Scripture is inspired (in its original form).
P2: Inspiration implies inerrancy.
P3: The Masoretic Text is to be preferred over the Septuagint.
This is precisely where the conflict arises.

The Septuagint contains significantly higher patriarchal ages from Adam to Abraham than the Masoretic Text. These differences accumulate to 1386 years.
Jehovah's Witnesses assume that the Masoretic Text is free from chronological errors and therefore use it to calculate biblical history, including the dates of Creation and the Flood. Their famous 1975 calculation was based on an interpretation of this text. Had they used the Septuagint instead, the world would already have ended around the year 589.
(Joking aside.)

The real problem appears in the Gospel of Luke.
Luke's genealogy includes Cainan, a person who appears in the Septuagint but is absent from the Masoretic Text.
If Luke was inspired and therefore wrote accurately, then one entire generation is missing from the "correct" Masoretic text.
That means a chronology based solely on the Masoretic genealogy cannot be 100% correct.

There are only a few possible explanations:

1. Luke copied an error from the Septuagint. If so, Luke was not writing under divine inspiration.
2. Inspiration does not imply inerrancy. This contradicts Jehovah's Witness theology.
3. The Masoretic Text contains an error. If so, the chronology of Jehovah's Witnesses is incorrect because it is built upon an incomplete genealogy.

Each of these options contradicts one of their own premises.

The only conceivable escape would be to argue that Luke originally did not contain Cainan and that later copyists harmonized Luke with the Septuagint. In that case, Luke (not the Masoretic Text) would have become corrupted.

However, this is merely an assertion without supporting evidence.

The larger Problem:
The more fundamental question is this:

Why would anyone attempt exact mathematical chronology when the Septuagint, the Samaritan Pentateuch, and the Masoretic Text all contain completely different numbers?

Even if the Cainan problem did not exist, precise chronology would still be impossible.
For example:
"Adam lived 130 years and then became the father of a son in his likeness, according to his image, and he named him Seth."

Question:
Was Adam exactly 130 years old?
Was Seth born exactly on Adam's birthday?
Highly unlikely.
If someone became a father at the age of 130, he could just as easily have been 130 years and six months old. Statistically, every generation introduces an uncertainty of up to one year, with an expected average error of roughly half a year.
Why didn't they recognize this or asked me?

Over dozens of generations, these uncertainties accumulate.

Yet Jehovah's Witness chronology treats every recorded age as if it were an exact timestamp, creating an illusion of mathematical precision that the biblical text itself simply does not provide.

Therefore, one can reasonably conclude that Jehovah's Witness chronology is not only internally inconsistent (because of Luke's Cainan), but it also claims a level of chronological precision that the biblical text itself does not support.

I'm a 20yo PIMI that grew up in the truth. I adore the Bible and the JWs beliefs but the GB is...creepy. I've always been wary of men so maybe that's why but...I don't know, it feels wrong, you know? And they're all white and old ughhh

Also, why isn't there any female elders? There were female prophets ! Why no women on the GB? Makes no sense to me tbh

I remember reading somewhere that if two unmarried Jehovah’s Witnesses commit fornication and then decide to get married, they’re less likely to be disfellowshipped.

Is that actually how it works? I also remember there being an Old Testament law where if an unmarried man and woman had sex, they could marry instead of facing a harsher consequence. Is that where this idea comes from, or am I remembering it incorrectly?

I’m just curious if there’s any basis for this or if it simply depends on the judicial committee.

From the video *I Turned My Life Around* considered during the midweek meeting July 20-20, 2026, a woman was telling the story of how she had “left the Truth” and started to come back. After starting a Bible study with Witnesses she left the boyfriend she had been living with. Two weeks later, she discovered she was pregnant and was considering getting an abortion.

After going to Bethel and taking with a “mature brother” she reconsidered.

In the video, she actually says, “Why should this innocent child pay for what I had done wrong?”

Very good question. Can we think of an account from the Bible that could help us get Jehovah’s thinking on the matter?

Please turn with me to 2 Samuel chapter 12. This is the account where Nathan confronts David for the sin of adultery he committed with Bathsheba and for having her husband murdered to cover it up. Starting in verse 13…

“13 David then said to Nathan: “I have sinned against Jehovah.” Nathan replied to David: “Jehovah, in turn, forgives your sin. You will not die.”

What mercy. What justice. But is it? Continuing with verse 14…

“14 Nevertheless, because you have treated Jehovah with utter disrespect in this matter, the son just born to you will certainly die.”

So what does that teach us about Jehovah? He absolutely does not like being disrespected. In fact, the punishment for it is, wait for it…

Murdering an innocent child.

But it gets better. Jehovah is so thin skinned he had to teach a lesson to David. So in verse 15…

“15 Then Nathan went to his own house. And Jehovah struck the child whom U·riʹah’s wife had borne to David, and he became sick.”

Could it get worse? Yes, drop down to verse 18…

“18 On the seventh day the child died…”

The lesson? Jehovah gets his anger out by striking an innocent infant with an illness and makes it suffer for 7 days before killing it. We know that the number 7 in the Bible is symbolic of completeness, so we can assume that he made the infant suffer in the most complete way possible.

Don’t for a second think that Jehovah is loving, merciful, or just. He is a monster.

I've been thinking about this lately.

Growing up, I genuinely believed elders had some special level of wisdom that Jehovah was somehow guiding their decisions. If an elder said something, I assumed there had to be a spiritual reason behind it.

Then I got older and started seeing behind the curtain.

I watched elders contradict each other, make decisions based on personal opinions, show favoritism, and sometimes give advice that was honestly terrible. What really hit me wasn't one dramatic event it was realizing that if you took away the title, they were just ordinary people trying to sound certain.

That realization changed how I viewed the organization more than any doctrinal issue ever did.

Was there a specific moment that made you stop seeing elders as "appointed by holy spirit"? Was it something they said, a judicial committee, gossip, hypocrisy, or just seeing how decisions were actually made?

I'd love to hear everyone's stories.

(sorry if im using the wrong tags or if im violating any guidelines, i'm fairly new to this sub!)

Whole family is very much into the religion, with both parents (around 50yo's) having been born into it as well.

My older brother is a ministerial server, father is an elder, mother a pioneer, uncle/aunt in Bethel... you know the deal.

I took the unfortunate decision of baptzing at 13 (which, at the time, felt like the only option for my life).

Now, growing up, i've understood (fairly easily) some of this organizations deep problems, whether structurally (child abuses, corrupt body of elders, manipulation...) and doctrinally (the dating of 1914 and its "overlapping" generation, 144000, blood tranfusions...).

But the problem is: as a 17 year old, I simply dont know what to do. I have a few privileges of my own (working on territories and on the sound of the meetings, 5 minute talks...) which kind of keep me occupied. But theyre not enough to distract me from my conscience.

I really love my parents, they've given nothing to me but love. But if i were to get disfellowshipped i dont have the slightest idea of how they would react/treat me. Would they forbid me of getting higher education? Would i need to get out of my home? Would i lose my relationship with them?

I would like for you guys to give your honest opinions on how should i leave this religion, long-term with minimal harm. I dont consider my situation as an emergency, i can deal with this religion for some additional time if its needed. But i dont know how to advance with my life properly, on the long run.

Honesty will be appreciated.

Yeah so, i couldn't wait until he actually talks with me and this post is just so i can express how anxious i am.

Tonight, my family was talking about the meeting we just had and my dad just says: "Oh btw, i wanna talk to you privately later about something an elder had told me about you"

...

I'm speechless

Chosen Virtue Builds Character. Compelled Virtue Builds Compliance.

There's a version of goodness that comes with a deadline.

Tuesday meeting. Saturday service. Report in by the first of the month.

They called it devotion. It was mostly attendance.

No one held a gun to my head. They never needed to. The arrangement was quieter and it worked better. Step out of line and you lose your family, your friends, your standing, everyone you've ever been close to. You don't have to threaten a man when everyone he loves is the punishment.

Under that arrangement I did a great many good things. I was reliable. Generous. Showed up when showing up was inconvenient. I would like very much to tell you those things were mine.

But here's the test I can't get around: strip out the threat, the surveillance, the social cost. What's still standing?

Ask that out loud around Witnesses (or any group of believers) in a car group and you'll get a very honest answer. I've heard it more than once. If I didn't believe Jehovah was watching, I'd just do whatever I wanted. And then, unprompted, the itemized list: I'd leave my wife. I'd sleep with whoever. I'd lie, I'd take what wasn't mine, I'd stop caring what any of it cost anyone else.

They offer this as proof of God.

It's a confession. A woman has just told you that the only thing between her and walking out on her family is a pair of eyes she believes are on her. She isn't describing her faith. She’s describing her character, and it's hungry.

That isn't evidence of virtue. It's evidence of surveillance.

Seneca doesn't leave room to negotiate here. Not less noble. Not noble with an asterisk. Nothing. Which is a harder line than it looks, because it means the thirty years of good behavior don't count in her ledger. Same conduct, down to the decimal. Different person underneath entirely.

Compulsion produces obedience. It has never once produced character.

The first thing you learn walking out of a system like that is that the opposite of being told what to do is not doing whatever I want. That's the same appetite those believers were confessing to, just off its leash. A different master with worse manners.

Freedom is having the power to choose otherwise and choosing honesty anyway. The harder conversation. The returned wallet. The phone call you'd pay money to avoid. Not because anyone's counting — nobody's counting — but because you decided what kind of person you are and you'd like to keep being that.

That question is worse than the one I was raised on, and I want to be honest about it. What am I required to do?has an answer. You can look it up. Someone will gladly print it for you. Who do I freely choose to become? has no publication, no elder, no answer key, no slip to turn in at month's end. You answer it, then you live with the answer, then you answer it again tomorrow.

Every noble deed is voluntary. Which means the only virtues that were ever mine are the ones nobody could make me perform.

No one has a gun to your head.

It was always going to be you.Chosen Virtue Builds Character. Compelled Virtue Builds Compliance.

"Nothing is noble if it's done unwillingly or under compulsion. Every noble deed is voluntary." —Seneca, Moral Letters, 66.16b

There's a version of goodness that comes with a deadline.

Tuesday meeting. Saturday service. Report in by the first of the month.

They called it devotion. It was mostly attendance.

No
one held a gun to my head. They never needed to. The arrangement was
quieter and it worked better. Step out of line and you lose your family,
your friends, your standing, everyone you've ever been close to. You
don't have to threaten a man when everyone he loves is the punishment.

Under
that arrangement I did a great many good things. I was reliable.
Generous. Showed up when showing up was inconvenient. I would like very
much to tell you those things were mine.

But here's the test I can't get around: strip out the threat, the surveillance, the social cost. What's still standing?

Ask
that out loud around Witnesses (or any group of believers) in a car
group and you'll get a very honest answer. I've heard it more than once.
If I didn't believe Jehovah was watching, I'd just do whatever I wanted. And then, unprompted, the itemized list: I'd leave my wife. I'd sleep with whoever. I'd lie, I'd take what wasn't mine, I'd stop caring what any of it cost anyone else.

They offer this as proof of God.

It's a confession.
A woman has just told you that the only thing between her and walking
out on her family is a pair of eyes she believes are on her. She isn't
describing her faith. She’s describing her character, and it's hungry.

That isn't evidence of virtue. It's evidence of surveillance.

Seneca doesn't leave room to negotiate here. Not less noble. Not noble with an asterisk. Nothing.
Which is a harder line than it looks, because it means the thirty years
of good behavior don't count in her ledger. Same conduct, down to the
decimal. Different person underneath entirely.

Compulsion produces obedience. It has never once produced character.

The first thing you learn walking out of a system like that is that the opposite of being told what to do is not doing whatever I want. That's the same appetite those believers were confessing to, just off its leash. A different master with worse manners.

Freedom is having the power to choose otherwise and choosing honesty anyway.
The harder conversation. The returned wallet. The phone call you'd pay
money to avoid. Not because anyone's counting — nobody's counting — but
because you decided what kind of person you are and you'd like to keep
being that.

That question is worse than the one I was raised on, and I want to be honest about it. What am I required to do?has an answer. You can look it up. Someone will gladly print it for you. Who do I freely choose to become?
has no publication, no elder, no answer key, no slip to turn in at
month's end. You answer it, then you live with the answer, then you
answer it again tomorrow.

Every noble deed is voluntary. Which means the only virtues that were ever mine are the ones nobody could make me perform.

No one has a gun to your head.

It was always going to be you.

I know PIMIs who are aware that the 607/1914 doctrine is a lie, that CSA is rampant in the org, and they still go out preaching. I don’t mean the checked-out/going through the motions kind of preaching either. These individuals go preaching on their midweek days off, go out in the evening, etc.

I don’t understand how someone can know that they are going out and LYING to people with the purpose of converting them. So much for integrity and truth.

I understand the fear that some of them may be feeling that keeps them in the cult, I guess I’m just ranting. Maybe I’m just mad because I’ve lost respect for so many people I loved and looked up to.

What is the best way to cope with the realization that life as we know it really could be all that there is?

Growing up as a JW, being told from the time that I can remember that “this is not the real life” and when someone dies that “don’t cry to much because you will see them again soon”.

I feel like I’m not doing well mentally with this new thought process. I feel as if I’ve lost so much time because we were always taught that something better was “just around the corner”.

I have a son now who I haven’t raised with this thought process so he will never have to go this. He has friends, goals, and is just wonderful.

I’m posting anonymously because I’m terrified of being labeled as an apostate even though I haven’t been active for many years. I know that my parents would not talk to me anymore if I was labeled that. They’re getting older and I’m scared.

I guess I’m just hoping others have felt this way and have coped successfully,

Why does this matter?

One of the justifications the Governing Body uses to allow blood fractions, such as immunoglobulins and albumin — presented in the October 15, 2000, issue of The Watchtower, page 17 — is that a mother naturally transfers some of these fractions to the fetus through the placenta. According to this reasoning, if Jehovah allows this in creation, it would be inconsistent to prohibit the medical use of these fractions.

But they forget that a whole blood transfusion also occurs in nature. It's called twin-to-twin transfusion, because it happens from one fetus to another. This occurs in twins who share the same placenta — monochorionic twins.

How it happens:

There are blood vessels that carry blood from the baby to the placenta, where it absorbs oxygen and nutrients, and other vessels that carry that blood back to the baby.

When two babies share the same placenta, their blood vessels can grow close to one another, and because of this, some vessels may end up forming connections between them.

If a vessel carrying blood from one baby to the placenta connects with a vessel bringing blood back from the placenta to the other baby, the blood that left one baby will return through the other baby's vessel.

Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS)

JWs may argue that twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) is part of imperfection and not something planned by Jehovah.

TTTS means that a baby donates too much blood, which can compromise its development. However, according to a study led by obstetrician Dr. Miles Taylor and his team, this syndrome occurs in only 12% of cases. This means that 7 out of 8 pregnancies of this type progress perfectly.

Why don't most babies develop TTTS?

TTTS depends on a highly specific combination of factors, all pointing in the same direction, that lead to this imbalance:

• When more connections favor a single direction;
• When the connections in that direction are larger in size;
• Or when both situations occur at the same time.

Placentas most prone to developing TTTS, are those with few blood vessels, where the probability of forming a blood transfer connection that is poorly compensated by any return connection is significantly higher. Increased vascular connections provide more (not less) whole blood for natural transfer between fetuses. And the more natural connections and whole blood transfusions, the lower the probability of TTS occurring.

Conclusion

According to the Governing Body's own logic, Jehovah cannot create a law while violating it Himself in nature — which means whole blood transfusions should be a matter of conscience and free will for JWs.

Source: https://corior.blogspot.com/2006/02/jehovah-god-does-allow-natural-whole.html?m=1

Context: My friend and I grew up together and she is still an active JW. I am PIMO (sort of), in that I have told my mother (who I live with) that I no longer believe or wish to practice the religion and have not been back to meeting since after the covid lockdowns so around 3 years now. Only attended 1 memorial at another hall 2 years ago with my mother as a nice gesture. Also my whole mother’s side of family is JW and so I ideally want to just continue fading rather than formal dissociation (at least for now).

So situation now is that this friend who has messaged me yesterday asking to catch up and if I’m okay etc. Our last message was about 3 months ago. We’ve not hung out in almost a year and I’m okay with this honestly as I feel like I can’t be fully honest around her and I’m tired of pretending. I’m also unable to disclose new developments in my life such as romantic relationships etc. and I no longer keep contact with anyone else in the religion (aside from family).

I’m not sure what to message in reply or how to go about this. I’m wondering if I just call her one day and offload this just so I can be free, or maybe just say that I’m well but not feeling social (although this would come across as weird). I’m in a group chat with her and some other sisters but those, I’ve also not seen them in ages. In an ideal scenario, I’d like to remove myself from that group chat and just cut ties with the friendship. They are genuinely lovely women but I’d rather be the one to cleanly end the friendship than be judged/reported/lectured etc.

UPDATE: Thanks for all the amazing advice! I really appreciate it. I’ve opted to just politely decline for now but wished her well. For me this is easier as I have known her for over 20 years and so wanted to at least reply. But a lot of you guys have reminded me that I don’t actually owe anyone an explanation and so that’s been very helpful and it’s what I’ll remember going forward.