Okay so, I have a pretty long history with depression and self-isolation since I was a young teen and it hasn't really gone away, it just became less frequent.

About a week or so ago I fell into a depressive episode due to postmenstrual syndrome and I have been feeling empty and numb since. I've also fallen into self-destructive behaviors because its the only thing that gives me a feeling of excitement/happiness and idk what to do.

Cus like, I KNOW how to stop. But I dont want to because I dont have anything else that gives me that sense of satisfaction or happiness if you get what I mean.

I've been sleeping way too much (today about 18 hours), smoking and relapsing a lot which is scary cus im terrified of forming addictions. I visited a friend 2 days ago for the first time in a while and it was fun but at one point all I could think abt was going home and relapsing.

I seriously feel like im going off the deep end and im scared that I'll get into trouble from me neglecting the stuff I need to do (especially my art commissions.)

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. I odnt want to go back to the way I used to be :,)

I have sixteen hours (16+) of phone usage time, and that equals sixty-eight percent of our day...

Hey, idk what to say or where to start. But I have had depression since I was a little girl. I think the first time I ever spoke to a mental health professional was when I was 9/10 years old. I never really understood what it was until I was in 9th grade and someone held a powerpoint presentation about depression. And I have been experiencing it more intensely ever since I have been an intern ( starting off 16 years old) than I did when I was 9 or 10 years old.

I was super duper depressed in November of 2025. That was my first ever real attempt or almost attempt to end it all. I tried to stabilize two weeks after that. I then started a new job as an HR person in December. From December to almost April I was struggling a lot, with the work load, thinking I won't fit in, feeling like dog shit, feeling extremely bloated and I was fat. Gaining lots of weight, having a major emotional connection to food.

Then mid April came, I traveled for the first time by myself to London (I live in germany). Met a girl I have known online for quite some while and well she was nt the person I thought she was the past 3 years. Seems like she was tying to destiny swap with me. Everything I had told this girl in the past was being said to my face as her own story. Creepy shit. That was also the month where I had started horseback riding. Then I injured my wrist. I ignored the injury and kept doing what I had been doing.

May came and I started wearing a bandage, still unaware on why I had to do that. I don't really remember much of may but it wasn't too pleasing either. I was just focused on losing weight and doing whatever. I lost about 17 kilograms I believe, from walking and doing everything in my power to keep going. June came. I turned 20. Thats when I traveled by myself to another country again, did some shopping and I remember coming back home, doing nothing but sleep for a week straight. I went to my mom crying, telling her that I dont want to live like this and she said that it might have been just travel exhausting. I called it a day and the week after I was in another city for the weekend, then I stayed home, in my home town for a week and left to travel to another country again.

While I was on said vacation my parents told me that I will get engaged, arranged marriage situation. I thought it was a joke and called it a day. I also got a rejection from final round for a job that I wanted since march because I was really looking forward to doing something that wasn't HR or anyhow related to it. HR has been my personal nightmare so far. Flew back home, news were true, I was going to get married to a fat loser. I wasn't allowed to leave town for the weekend to kiss my short term boyfriend goodbye. He left the country, I was at home...cussing and yelling, screaming and sleeping all day long because I didn't want to face reality or my parents. Met said guy and I was having major mental breakdowns almost every single day. My blood would boil when he texted me.

He waned me to cook and clean for him, get rid of my job dress however he wants me to, said he was jealous and had aggression problems, said he doesn't want his wife aka me to smoke and travel alone, etc. It was the worst 3 weeks of my life. He was 28 years old. He called it off because I wasn't obeying him.

Today is the first week where my life is supposed to be back to normal but it doesn't feel that way. my life is a mess. I feel like dog shit and honestly like a total mess. I dont know what to do with myself or how to communicate it with anyone because I will sound like a dramatic person. No one listened to me when I mentioned my concerns about my fiancé and how I think that he is extremely toxic.

31 and ruined my future. I'm academically smart but the last 3 years, actually every year since I'm 22, I completely ruined my life. I stayed in a city I hate, with a person who made me feel constantly under stress who could be occasionally emotionally abusive and toxic most of the time, who constantly gave me the feeling that I need to save her. I didn't want that relationship but I stayed because I thought I was ugly and worthless and like I'd be an awful person for leaving her.

After completely burning both of us out during her master's thesis, she cheated, planned it ahead and gaslit me to an insane amount before and after. Then we couldn't get out of each other's life for two years. I was awful, she was worse. I say that after a year of judging myself until I told someone the whole story, in a way that painted me in the worst possible light, no holding back. The person I told, she cried, hugged me and told me it's not my fault.

My ex has been out of my life for 1.5 years. But it's too late for everything. I started therapy too late, I talked to no one, I let it all eat me up and destroy me and now I'm finished. I ruined my PhD, I have no social life, I have no experience in anything and I don't see myself ever getting out and actually enjoying life.

I often just start shaking, I can't guide my mind to healthy places because I'll never be ok with the absolute pathetic loser I have been and am. I'll never feel like an actual person, everyone is better than me. I'm glad I got over the guilt I felt towards my ex. But the outcome is the same. I missed my life and can't get over the last couple of years. I hope to just die knowing I can't and I see no way how I'll ever be ok. I hate myself for the decisions I didn't make and now it's done.

My suicidal temptations and tendencies are at an all time high right now. I want to but I cant because I have a 17 year old baby sister.
I have so much ptsd and so many bad memories that follow me everywhere. Never had someone older to me who is supposed to protect me hold me and tell me that I will be okay. I crave it.

My mental health is not really well ATM

I'm angel I'm 19 if you have time plz:)

hi, all,

i wanted to come on here and share what has been going on in my life and am seeking some sort of advice/help.

i have not been in a great headspace in the last 8 months or so. i am 23 and have struggled with sadness/loneliness/depression for as long as i can remember, but not to the extent of what im dealing with now.

a year ago, i moved to a city from a small town with hopes of growing with my career, meeting like-minded people, as well as expose myself to numerous opportunities. i was already going through quite a bit back in my hometown, as my parents were getting divorced right before i left. unfortunately, when i ended up moving, my mother completely has taken me out of her life, not giving a single thought or care towards me in my new transition in life. that has caused a turmoil of different thoughts/feelings within myself. she’s a functioning alcoholic and has no plans of getting help/changing for the better. i do have a great relationship with my dad and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but i know he has his own personal problems and don’t want to add to them, which is why i don’t really talk about it much with him.

i graduated with a bachelor of fine arts degree in 2024 with so much success. i was able to work with artists from across the globe, performed in spaces such as New York and California, and was able to master my craft in the 4 years of my degree. unfortunately, moving out of college, i have not been able to use my degree, which, in turn, made me find an entry level job in food service (starbucks,) which i absolutely hate. it has made me lose so much sleep in a year, i have gotten so sick multiple times in the span of 10 months, and it’s a constant battle with management/customers, etc. every day feels the same, and im not able to live up to my full potential as a performing artist. im not making a ton of money at my job, so there’s a constant stress of living paycheck to paycheck with all of the bills and utilities that need to be paid on time.

my self esteem/confidence is at an all time low; due to my depression, i suffered a huge breakout all over my face, and am still dealing with it today. i don’t feel like myself anymore. i feel worthless, ugly, no confidence whatsoever.

i spend my days trying to keep myself occupied (cleaning, errands, etc.), but a lot of the time i feel unmotivated because of my sadness. i feel like im digging myself a deeper hole than expected. im constantly lonely, i have nothing to look forward to in life, and it feels like a cyclical horror movie.

i need help, but dont know where to start, as so much has built up throughout these last few months. i dont know how much longer i can withstand this for.

I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I wish people would listen to me. Everyone always says, “if you’re struggling, let someone know,” but how come nobody is listening to me? I feel like a circus clown trying to get someone to see how bad I’m doing but it’s like I’m invisible and they don’t see me.

I’m so alone. And tired.

Hi everyone, I’m 26F UK and admittedly cry every evening once I’m home from my office job.

I was bullied throughout my childhood, along with family emotional abuse, and at about 20 was ghosted by friend group from university.

It really hurts but since then for the past 6ish years I’ve hand on heart tried my best to join group activities, lessons, and networking. But sadly, I can’t seem to get it right.

My social anxiety has been awful lately and I’m not sure what to do anymore. My crying has been taking over my evenings because my chest hurts so bad from loneliness.

I usually hide in my bathroom as my mum gets frustrated when I’m upset as she wants me to stop, but I genuinely can’t control my emotions when I feel this way.

I could really do with some advice if anyone else has gone through a similar thing? Thank you so much.

I feel like a robot. I feel like a machine.
I used to love the song “Mr. Roboto” from Kilroy Was Here. The whole song is about someone hiding behind a machine, trying to convince everyone they’re just a robot, while secretly still being human underneath. I’ve always related to that.
I feel like I’m nothing more than a machine, like I was born and programmed to believe whatever I was told, and I can’t break out of it. I feel like some kind of monster. I don’t feel like I deserve to exist. Sometimes I feel like disappearing into a white light and just no longer existing.
I live like a machine. I eat. I sleep. I watch mindless TV that doesn’t make me feel any better. I bury myself in nerdy hobbies that are really just distractions from the emptiness inside me. It all feels robotic. Nothing ever changes. Nothing ever gets better.
People leave you. They move on. They don’t really care about you. I still think about my ex-girlfriend telling me that we could never truly be together, and it still hurts.
I just don’t feel real anymore. I don’t even know who I am. That song ends by talking about hiding your true identity, and that’s exactly how I feel. I don’t know who my real self is anymore.

I've had a depression in the past that lasted for 5..count them 5 flipping years...it shouldn't have even lasted a month or so.

Not going to divulge what it was about for fear of being laughed at...anyways isn't depressions supposed to last normally for like a few weeks or so

.let me know...

I genuinely see no hope. I turned 20 less than 10 days ago, and for the longest time my mom has been yapping about how she wants to find a suitable rich boy and marry me off early and it TERRIFIES me.

I've been scared of getting romantically close to people for years now. The first time I loved someone, it was 6 7 years of teenage me being strung along while they gave me false hope and were with other people all the time. Not to mention a history of family abuse. I've been physically, verbally and emotionally abused by my parents. I've seen my parents get physically pretty agressive with each other once. And them verbally abusing each other is nothing new. My grandma tells me about how grandpa used to beat her. I've seen an uncle beat an aunt, a cousin beat his sister, some couples just don't gaf about each other. Overall, I have no, not a SINGLE couple I can look up to and go I wanna be like them. I am so scared of getting close to people in love. Yes it is possible that I find better, that I respect myself enough to leave. But I hope you understand the fear.

Its not that i don't like people. I often do. I get asked out decently often. But The moment I feel that they perhaps reciprocate I get so fucking scared. It's like sheer panic. My fight or flight gets activated, I wanna throw up, scream, run away. My throat starts closing up kinda terror. I don't like it. I'm not proud of it. I want to be loves so bad, I want to love someone so bad but goodness I can't handle it. I don't think I'm made for it. I've just learnt not to engage in any kind of romantic closeness, not even the slightest casual ones. Because inevitably one of us will fall in love and it won't end well and I think it's cruel to give someone hope and take it away. I don't want to hurt someone good and loving so I just keep away.

Now imagine struggling with all this and your mother, who has seen all the struggles in a bad marriage keeps yapping about how she will marry you off to the first suitable, handsome and rich boy she finds. It just genuinely makes me wanna cry and end it. It's the fact that maybe if left to myself, I WILL want to marry someone one day, I WANT to have kids one day. But the idea of being forced and black mailed into doing it is absolute horror material to me. I see no way out of this. I pray I die young before any of this happens.

I have decided to start having fun, ie smoking, drinking, having fun. Earlier I used to think I would never, that i would be good because of some lofty personal morals. Also because I believed that if I was "good" my family would respect my wishes. I have now realized that all I am doing is wasting my youth. No matter how well I behave what i want isn't worth SHIT. So I might as well enjoy while I am free. Also perhaps to speedrun the whole dying young thing. I'll be honest and admit it. A darker, more selfish part of me that wants to see the world and be free sometimes wishes my loved ones would die. But that is so awful and selfish that I mostly wish it upon myself.

I don't even know what to hope for man. That the guy they pick is someone I can love? That I love someone they can accept before they choose for me? That I die before it happens to me? God I'm so fucking lost and depressed about this whole thing sometimes.

Lately, I’ve been realizing how vastly different and difficult everyone's journey is. We are all dealing with something heavy that we rarely talk about.Some are heartbroken over a love failure, trying to heal from someone they thought was their future. Some are feeling completely lost and left behind, struggling to get settled in their careers. Others are drowning in severe financial stress, trying to manage family problems, or dealing with broken relationships with partners.It feels like everyone is carrying a different kind of pain, yet we all wake up every day and keep moving.I want to know your story. If you are going through any of this—money problems, family issues, career stagnation, or heartbreak—how are you actually facing it? What keeps you going on your darkest days? How do you move past the feeling of being stuck?Please share your thoughts, your coping mechanisms, or just vent if you need to. Let’s remind each other that we aren't alone in this mess.

Unemployed - with no hope of getting well enough to work, agoraphobic, suicidal, panic attacks, no friends, sufferer of psychosis, teeth have gone bad from not looking after myself, cant go to the barbers for a haircut due to panic attacks, laughed at by my neighbours when i do nothing wrong.
Why is the world so cold ? And what the fuck do i do. Iv tried exercise, iv eaten crazy healthily, iv taken my meds, iv not taken my meds. Iv tried so many different approaches, I feel like iv tried everything i can think of and whatever others have told me will make me feel better. I swear the only thing stopping me from killing myself is my child who i cant leave to go through this world on their own. But i am so fed up of suffering.
Why are we born in the first place ?

I don’t spark joy, I don’t feel joy, I don’t provide anything, I don’t help anything or anyone, I hurt everyone I love and that loves me, and then nobody loves me.

My mum knows I self harm and I don't want her to know that I don't really want to stop doing it, I just can't find an excuse to do it, i don't want to talk to her or my dad because they have their own problems.im on the verge of relapsing I can feel it and I like seeing the blood run down my leg because every time it seems like a little bit of the pain and sadness leaves my body with it

Welp another job I lost I can’t hold a job to save my life. I really don’t even think it’s worth trying anymore . Mainly due to the fact that I am a loser every time there is opportunity somewhere I some how fuck it up. I am loser in the eyes of everyone I know I guarantee you no one would really miss me when I am gone the world will keep spinning and I will be there in the dirt finally at peace

Hello! I’m new to Reddit in general and I’d like to ask a few questions and perhaps get some help if possible. I’m in a relationship with a stunning, amazing woman who has ADHD and depression, and sometimes it’s hard to know how to react when she’s feeling depressed – when even breathing is a struggle. I always try to be there for her and support her in everything, but there are times when she prefers to be on her own, and I understand that perfectly. Not only do I understand, but I let her be and try to make sure nothing bothers her. Despite this, and despite doing a lot of research myself, I sometimes struggle to know what I can do to help or to understand more about it. I realise I can’t change how she feels or what she thinks, but I feel I can make her day a little better, and that the least I can do is find out more about what she’s going through and living with. She recommended this Reddit page to me, and I’d like to ask if there’s anyone in a similar situation to mine, or who knows anything about this, who could share a bit of their story and insight with me. Thank you very much for your time!

I've been feeling this way since I was at least 5. It got worse when I was 7. I live with horrible people who psychologically abuse me and sometimes physical. There's no way out of here. I'm so lonely. I have friends, but I know they're fake. Even if I survive this and leave my house, it would just be too late to make deep connections as an adult. I've been addicted to maladaptive daydreaming, lying in bed for hours just imagining a different world but I'm struggling to just do that. It was my escape and coping mechanism and now I can't do it. I've lost interest in watching media as I habitually form connections with fictional characters. But at the end of the day it's not real and that hurts. I truly am all alone and I don't see an end to this. Maybe I'm just meant to be depressed or melancholic and i can accept that. I wanna just end all this, what's the point of living if I can't enjoy it? I just needed to vent somewhere and idk if I want any advice since nothing works and everything feels fake. God, I hate this...

I started Venlafaxine at the end of May after trying various amounts of Ssri's with no noticeable changes. Once I went from 37.5mg to 75mg I felt amazing for 2-3 weeks then felt a major drop off in mood so the doctor recommended i go up to 150mg. Once again I felt great for 2-3 weeks but since yesterday I'm feeling pretty shitty again, is this normal? Today my doctor told me to raise the dose again but im not sure i see the point in making any side effects worse if im just go to have the same results over and over.

i don’t care about therapy, antidepressants, doing "better", i just want to end it. i want to do tonight. my life is over, i’ve never been so sad in my life, my bpd is just untreatable, i’m ugly, undesirable, poor and truly friendless. i’m going to take some dilaudid, the whole fucking bottle and finish me off. what’s the point of anything anymore ? i’ve been suffering for years and years. the only person that i felt closer to is now loving another. i’ll go. just forever. there’s no point of telling anyone this, because there’s thousands of posts like this one every single day. no one genuinely cares. i’m so sorry because my friends and family wanted me to try, and i just couldn’t. the little girl in me had never healed. and now she’ll finally leave forever.

I'm in a bit of a depression spiral that I do not see the end of. I have severe mental health issues, I lost my family and I want to die. I would just die but I would break my mom's heart and I don't want to do that. I want to just get over it and do it anyways because if she understood how bad I was suffering she'd understand. I don't know what to do

I just cut a line across my palm and I don't feel anything. I feel the pain but I don't feel it at the same time.

It's been hard. I am eating less and not always a good, nutritional quality.

I'm in a low state again.

I’m 30F, and over the last several months I feel like I’ve slowly become someone I don’t like.

I have ADHD (diagnosed this year), generalized anxiety, and I’m currently taking sertraline, guanfacine, and short-release Adderall after previously trying Ritalin. The only medications that have never really felt like they’ve worked are the ADHD ones. At first I thought everything might be helping, but now it honestly feels like they do almost nothing besides making me sweaty and constantly thirsty.

One thing that has me questioning everything is that I accidentally took an extra afternoon dose of Adderall one day months ago, and it was the first time I actually felt like my brain slowed down and I could focus. I’ve been too nervous to tell my psychiatrist because I’m worried he’ll think I’m just asking for a higher dose.

Lately I’ve been wondering if I’m actually depressed, but I keep telling myself I have no reason to be. The biggest thing is that I don’t *want* to be this way. I miss the person I used to be. I used to love running, going to spin class, reading, cooking, and taking care of myself. Now I stay up too late, struggle to get out of bed, barely cook, let laundry and cleaning pile up, and even simple things feel exhausting. I still want to do all those things, but it’s like my brain and body just won’t cooperate.

Work has become really hard too. My focus is terrible, and when my manager tells me I need to be more confident or improve my activity, I don’t feel motivated, I completely shut down. The more pressure I feel, the harder it is to function.
I’ve also had a lot of stress over the last year with buying my first house, tenant issues, financial pressure, family relationships, and problems in my relationship. I know all of that probably isn’t helping.

I’ve always gone through cycles where I get into a great routine, feel like I’m thriving, and then something throws me off and I crash again. I really thought medication and therapy would finally help break that cycle, but lately it feels worse than ever. I don’t want to die or hurt myself. I still want to travel, accomplish goals, and build a life I’m excited about. I’m just so overwhelmed that I wish I could finally take a deep breath and feel okay again.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? Did it end up being depression, ADHD burnout, medication issues, or something else? What actually helped you?

I’m planning on talking to my psychiatrist because I don’t think my medications are helping, but I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through something similar.